Posted by Maroon on August 21, 2001, 12:31 pm
216.94.38.25
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[the scene opens up at a local hospital. Maroon and Marcellus Jackson are at the reception desk. For you newbies. Marcellus Jackson is the long time manager/friend of Maroon. He stopped hanging around when Maroon befriended Hall and others. And since Maroon just backstabbed his brother. He needs people in his roleplays to put him over] Maroon: Backstabbed is such a strong word, dont you think?? Nurse Betty: No thats what the chart says for the diagnosis. "Backstabbed by Brother" Maroon: Well I hope Ed has more insurance and a second opinion is a covered benefit.. But Im not here to see Ed.. You see these flowers we stol.. brought?? [They look at Marcellus holding some get well flowers and a balloon] Maroon: See..Now we want to see Nuke Atomica.. Nurse Betty: Nuke Atomica?!?!?! Im hoping thats the name he was born with, because I know no one would change their name to that... Dear lord... I think I just heard baby jesus cry.. Maroon: Yeah I've had many arguments with him about taking his wives last name when they were married.. So Im immune to the stupidity of it... Nurse Betty: Ok, well Mr Atomica is just under light watch. He appears to have reinjured an older injury. He has mild swelling in his back.. Maroon: Yeah.. Im afraid I had a hand in that... What was the previous injury?? Nurse Betty: Well the chart doesnt say.. But it was an automobile accident.. Maroon: Yep, I would be guilty of that one also.. So what room is he in?? Nurse Betty: Are you sure youre a friend of his?? Maroon: Oh yeah, we talk every night.. Room?? Nurse Betty: Right, 4th floor room 66.. Maroon: Fantastic.. Thanks chick.. [While Maroon and Marcie are in the elevator. I would just like to let you know that giving out peoples diagnosis by the front desk of a hospital does not happen. Never. not even in Nukeville. It just happens for the sake of entertainment where 'patient confidentiality' does not exist. Ok theyre exiting the elevator and going to room 66] Dr Ross: Who are you guys?? Maroon: Umm.. What answer wouldnt make you mad? Dr Ross: Are you friends of the patient?? Maroon: Most nights.. Is that him behind the curtian?? Dr Ross: Yes, I apologize for him being asleep, but we just gave him a shit load of novacain. He's numb to the world right now.. Maroon: How do you know its working.. Nuke is always numb to the world.. Can I open the curtian?? Dr Ross: Im afrain I cant allow that.. He specifially stated that he does not want to be in anyones roleplays. You can only talk to him through the curtian.. Maroon: But we brought him a balloon.. Dr Ross: Im sorry.. But those are his orders... I'll leave you alone with the patient... [Dr Ross leaves and Maroon and Marcie walk to the curtian] Maroon: Hey Nukers... How you doing?? You feeling ok?? Dont say anything if youre doing ok??? [.......................................] Maroon: Thats great, buddy.. We brought you some flowers and a balloon.. Just dont choke on the balloon like last time ok?? [.....................................] Maroon: I know you must feel pretty banged up right now.. And I know you wanted that title shot.. But, theres this one thing, Nuke.. You always screw things up... [.....................................] Maroon: Yeah I know there are really a lot of reasons why you shouldnt be world champ.. But I didnt want to stress you in your traumatized condition.. [.....................................] Maroon: Well, Ed doesnt like you much either.. But you know what.. I heard that Jenny wants to 'talk' to Ed.. I dont know how you feel about that seeing that I know that I've heard of a little 'extra curricular activities' between you and Jenny.. Yeah Ive heard about the penis emails... [.....................................] Maroon: No, man.. Im your friend.. Its none of my business what you do and who you do it with.. Its just that Lana.. She can be a good woman... Dont lose her.. I had dinner with her the other night, you know... [.....................................] Maroon: Hey, we didnt plan it.. I was at the Golden Griddle stopping by for the buffett and I saw her there all upset.. And since youre my friend.. And Ive seen her get her ass beat by midgets a lot.. I figured I would try to cheer her up.. [.....................................] Maroon: Hell no, man.. What are you trying to say?? That I screw around with my friends chicks??? Well screw you prick... Should I remind you of when you put your hand down Jade Hall's pants??? Or when you forced sex on Jordan McLaren?? Oh where was Mrs Lana Atomica in all this?? Thats right... [.....................................] Maroon: Screw you asshole!!! I try to do something nice for you and you have to get pissed because you know Im right... well Nuke... SCREW YOU!!! You know what??!? Oh you just ####ed with the wrong person, Nuke.. [Maroon grabs Nuke's chart and takes a pen and talks as he writes] Maroon:procedures to be preformed: colonoscopy...... colonic.... barium enema. diagnosis: impacted rectum, irritable bowel syndrome, urinary tract infection, and herpes... Now lets see you get out of this one Mr Atomica... [Maroon unplugs the heart monitor and the machine goes...] Heart Monitor: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE [Maroon takes the balloon back and he and Marcie leave the room and goes to the nurses station] Maroon: Yes, nurse.. That man in that room's heart monitor just flatlined.. I think you should help him.. Nurse Cindy: Oh Crap!!!! [She gets on the intercom] Nurse Cindy on Intercom:*BEEP* Attention Staff... We have a Code Blue in room Six six... Code Blue in six six... Nursing Staff and Doctors: HOR HOR HOR HOR HOR HOR HOR HOR [Maroon and Marcie wait outside and look in as doctors are yelling and pulling out the paddles..] Dr Ross: CLEAR!!! Paddles: ZZZZZZZZZZRACK!! Maroon: That cant be good.. Lets go Marcie.. [On the way down the elevator let me say another disclaimer. Nurses and Doctors are not idiots. They know when a heart monitor is unplugged and when to use those difibrulators (Heart Paddles) they went to doctor school by god. Anyways. Maroon and Marcie are outside now] Maroon: Hey what a cool looking dog... Patches: Arf... Maroon: I wonder if he belongs to anyone.. You belong to anyone, buddy?? Patches: Arf. Maroon: Would you like to come home with me??? Patches: Arf. Maroon: Thats right you do.. Youre the bestus dog in the world.. I dont know how anyone could leave you right here all alone.. Me and you are going to be good friends.. Yes we are... [Marcie hails a cap and they get in with Patches] Cab Driver Burt: Hey thats a cool dog.. Maroon: Youre right, sir.. He's the bestus dog in the whole world.. Cab Driver Burt: Ok that will be two dollars sir.. Maroon: Two dollars for what?? Cab Driver Burt: New policy sir.. We need two dollars before we can start the cab.. [The End]
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