Posted by Maroon on 8/19/2001, 11:42 am
24.160.151.139
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[the scene opens up inside a theater where a play is about to take place. Nuke: But we're in your hotel room.. What? Nuke: We're not in a theater.. We're in your hotel room Maroon. Nuke just shut the fu(k up ok. Im setting up a roleplay. Be happy I even let you participate in this roleplay. Nuke: Sheesh.. I was just trying to be realisitic.. ..... Nuke: What Im not saying anything.. Fine. we are in a make shift stage in Maroon's hotel room. the seats are full of the audience.. Nuke: What audience?? Its only myself, Hall and Jade, McLaren and Jordan.. WINK WINK.. Gage, The Maroon Marauder your three dead ho's.. McLaren: What the hell was that wink for Nuke?? Guys Im trying to do an opening scene here can you??? Nuke: Uh nothing.. I was winking at the dead ho's Ho:Goddammit We're not dead... Shut up, B!tch.. yes you are as Maroon throws a beer can at her. Now pick it up while theres still some in it. The Ho picks up the beer can and hands it back to Maroon who takes a drink.. Now Nuke, just shut the hell up. Stop winking at Jordan and just fu(kin listen ok. Dont make me waste a beer on you too. Nuke:..... Good. So the stage is set The audience is watching. The curtian opens and snow is seen falling from the sky. Nuke: Thats not snow thats one of D-Midgetration X sifting detergent. Hall: Nuke just sit back and enjot the ####ing show b###h. Shit! Thanks Shawn Hall: No problemo.. and out come Mr. Maroon dressed like one of them christmas Angels. Gage: Only drunker... The Maroon Marauder: Yeah..totally drunker.. Can I please start my promo. Fu(kin assholes. Totally this and totally that. Shit now Im all wound up. Maroon drinks a beer. Ahh. thats better. So out walks Maroon in an Angel outfit carrying a book] Maroon: Welcome ladies, gentlemen, hos and Nuke. I would like to thank you all for coming out to my first christmas play. I hope that you all enjoy it. Now please sit back and enjoy. 'A Christmas Story for Hunter McKnight', performed by D-Midgetration X.. Hall: HELL YEAH!!! HOT DAMN!!! YOU GO LITTLE GUYS!!! Maroon:.... Hall:Oh yeah.. sorry. [The christmas story of Hunter McKnight goes way back. Back to the time where it was cool for guys to put hair spray in their hair. Back before he even learned how to hump.] Midget Doctor: PUSH Ms McKnight.. Push.. Midget Ms McKnight: This is tearing the ass out of me.. Midget Doctor: Ok. I have his little midget head.. .. and ... there.. all set... You have a little midget son.. Do you want to hold him? Midget Ms McKnight: Nah thats ok.. Im going to go now. You can keep him. I have a plane to out the fu(k of parenthood to catch. [Some say this could have been the breaking point in the little 3 minute old midget's life. But McKnight was born dead. He wasnt alive when he was born. It wasnt until five minutes after Ms McKnight left for New Zealand that The Doctor managed to awaken the little bastard] Jade: Awwww... [So the midget doctor took in little McKnight and raised him to be his own son. These were the most impressionable days of McKnights childhood] Midget Doctor slash Dad: Dammit boy, get the hell out of that closet. I told you that the 'magazine' closet is off limits. And that when Daddy's 'friends' come over. And we're doing guy things in the bedroom. You stay out. No more peeking you little perv. Midget McKnight: But father.. Midget Doctor slash Dad: No buts.. Well maybe a few... If you know what I mean.. Midget McKnight: So when am I going to get a first name father? Im five years old and everyone calls me boy. Even Hunter our dog has a name. Midget Doctor slash Dad: Then there you go. Your new name is Hunter.. And Hunter your new name is Boy.. Midget Dog: rmnnnnnnn... Jade: Awwww the puppy dowg is fwowning.. [Hall do something about the chickiness in here. Ok] Hall: Gotcha, E.... Shut up.. you.. [So. we move ahead a few years and now Hunter McKnight is in elementary school where everyone is bigger then he is] Midget Bully: Hey Fart... Youre name is Fart!!!! Midget Boy: No it's not... My name is Bart... Bart.. Midget Bully: No its not.. Youre Fart.. and your friend's name is Dishpan. Midget Other Boy: Oh youre wrong.. My name is Stan.. Midget Bully: No its not.. Youre Fart and Dishpan... Fart and Dishpan.. You two guys are gay... Midget McKnight: Ha Ha Ha Ha.. Thats great stuff how do you do that?? Midget Bully: Oh what?? Make fun of peoples names and call them gay. Oh its easy. You just take someones name like yours.. which is 'Boy' and I would call you 'Soy' or 'Toy'. It doesnt have to just one letter. I can call you 'Gay Boy' or 'Boy Lover'.. Get it?? Midget McKnight: Oh but my name isnt Boy anymore.. Thats my dogs name.. My new name is Hunter.. Midget Bully: Hmmm... I guess.. I would have to call you 'Cunter' Gage: OHHHH SNAP!!! He totally said the 'C' Bomb.. The Maroon Marauder: I like totally heard.. But why did you have to say Snap?? [SHUT THE HELL UP IDIOTS!! We're trying to put on a christmas show] Midget Bully: .... Yeah.. you'd be Cunter McKnight.. Midget McKnight: I guess thats cool... Whats your name?? Midget Bully: Oh dont even try it.. You cant make fun of my name.. Thats why I go by the nickname 'Attitude'... Midget McKnight: Ok... 'Fatittude' Midget Attitude: Damn!!! [We go forward a few years and McKnight and Attitude go through high school and join the amature wrestling team. McKnight and Attitude were so good at amature wrestling that they went to the state finals and was going against some swamp infested high school in louisiana where they would be facing off against the best team that they had too offer. A team so rowdy They called themselves, Destroyer and Asskicker.] Midget McKnight: They dont look so tough. I bet that 'Pisstroyer' will never win a championship. He will come close but never do it. Midget Attitude: I bet. He looks like a loser. I say after we wrestle them we become friends with them. Midget McKnight: Ok.. [so they wrestle] Midget McKnight: Hey Assmaster. It feels like you have a boner right now. Midget Asskicker: Thats because I do..
Nuke: Thats just sick.. I hate gays.. If any gay midget would do that to me.. Hall: He'd get lost in the crack of your ass.. .. and.. McLaren: Oh thats right, buddy.. Hi five.. Hall: Im still mad at you.. ... and ... Nuke: Well, I bet Jordan would like my ass wouldnt you, Jordan?? WINK WINK?? Jordan: SHANNAN!!! make the big hairy scary man go away... Now Nuke that was just uncalled for. If I hadnt have been drinking this whole time I might go down there and kick your ass. But I will just have one of the dead ho's do it. Ho: We are not DEAD!!! Nuke: So baby.. Do you like road rage?? What about Highway Head?? .. as Nuke gets hit in the head with a beercan and kicked in the nuts by the dead ho]
[yes you are now shut the hell up and let me finish the story.. Where the hell was I??] Gage: ... Umm.. Midget Boners.. [ ... oh yeah... So.. they all became good friends. they all went to professional wrestling school together and broke into the scene all at the same time. Everything was the same, except one thing] Midget McKnight: I dont want to be called Cunter out there.. I need a new name. Anyone have one for me? Midget Asskicker: Uh.. Will Smith? Midget Attitude: Bill Smoth.. Midget Destroyer: Run DMC?? Midget Attitude: Bum GayMC.. Midget Asskicker: What about that white guy with the midget?? Midget McKnight: Yeah Ill be Kid Rock.. I just need a midget.. [so our group of morons had there names. had there gimmicks now they just needed a federation. enter the WCWF] Midget McKnight slash KidRock: Midget Prez X: Youre fired. [a name change and another fed the XWF] Midget Triple X: Youre gay and you like to pack the fudge.. Midget Scott: Youre fired.. [and back to the WCWF with his original name] Midget McKnight again: Boner. Midget Brad This Time Around: Youre fired. [So it was sad. The Humpers were without a home. They were on the street corners holding up signs saying 'Will Job For Money' Jade: Awww.. Look at the little signs... Shawn... Hall: Be quiet, sweetie. Maroon is still telling a story McLaren: Yeah.. Sweetie Hall: Shut up.. I still hate you right now.. HELLO!!! Up here!!! Ok.. So the Humpers were stuck without a home and didnt feel welcome back at the new XOW just yet. so they took up photography and started sneaking in the showers and taken naked pictures of guys. Until they started talking with Luke Scarsdale and he let them in the XOW while Brad was nursing his broken face] Midget Luke Scarsdale: The Maroon Marauder: Oh come on.. That is not the way I talk... [As The Maroon Marauder removes his mask.. revealing it to be... The Maroon Marauder: Im serious guys.. You had it pretty accurate up until that part.. revealing it to be...... The Maroon Marauder: This just isnt cool.. After all Ive done for you guys.. TAKE OFF THE MASK SCARSDALE!!!
Nuke: So, youre going to be Braydens partner at the pay per view?? The Maroon Marauder now unmasked being Scarsdale: No you waste of space.. Mine and The Marauders bags got mixed up at the airline.. Nuke: So wheres the real mystery partner.. The Maroon Marauder now unmasked being Scarsdale: I dunno.. Probably somewhere wearing my underwear over his head.. Ok guys.. Im almost done.. can I please finish??? Midget McKnight: Boner. Naked Pictured. Gayass Warriors. Fudge Packers. Midget Loner: I quit. Midget 'A': I quit too.. Midget Nuke In a Midget Fantastico Suit Forcing Midget Sex On Midget McLarens Midget Chick Midget Jordan: Oh you like it like that dont you?? Midget Jordan: Oohhhh... Shannnan... McLaren: What the hell?!?!? NUKE?!?!?! Nuke:: Oh shit.. Umm.. I was just asking her her cup size.. .. as McLaren chases Nuke out of the room Jordan starts crying. Jade cries with her. Hall laughs about it. the ho's are dead Ho's: NO WE'RE NOT!!! Yes you are DAMMIT!! As Gage and Scarsdale watch wide eyed as Hunter McKnight must face Mr. Maroon in a title match for the IC belt this weekend] Midget McKnight: Gay, Homo. Mens Shower. Baboon. Im going to grab your balls.. [Oh but Maroon wont let Midget McKnight grab his balls becase Maroon is much much better then Midget McKnight. McKnight is just here so the XOW looks good with roleplays and roster size while the staff waits for new people to join up and they fire McKnight once more. Yep he's just a quota filler] Maroon: The End... Gage: ..... Maroon: What?!?! Gage: Like.. that had totally nothing to do with christmas.. Maroon: It did so... There was snow in it.. Gage: That was totally not snow.. That was detergent... [Maroon throws the book at Gage but spills his beer in the process and yells at the dead ho's to pick it up] Ho: I said.. We are NOT DEAD!!! [shut up B!tch]
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