<--emoH
Have you ever seen that one commercial? You know, that one Cheetos commercial. The one where there's this ice sculptor and the Cheetos cheetah comes in with a bunch of Flamin' Hot Cheetos and tosses a bag to everyone. Well, if you don't know what I'm talking about yet, I'm probably going to have to describe it.
Okay, so he gives everyone a bag, and everyone is obviously hypnotised by the cheetah's high-tech hypno-glasses. Those glasses that he's wearing. Yeah, those black ones. See, I figure that, if those kids were crazy enough to eat that chemical-monosodium-glutamate-preservative-and-food-coloring-packed "snack," they obviously weren't able to control their own minds.
Yep. They were. It's true! Well, it's either that or they were just... really enjoying the, err, chemical-flavored goodness of the, umm, Cheetos... somehow. But that's not what pissed me off. What I really hated was when the goddamn cheetah ate some of the Flamin' Hot Cheetos and blew a three-story-building-sized flame out of his mouth, completely melting the ice sculptor's penguin, eliminating the sculptor's ladder's support, and plunging the sculptor into the ice-cold water, where he undoubtedly caught hypothermia. That fucking cheetah!! What an arrogant bastard!! Argh!! I HATE HIM!!!
Okay... yeah. I hate that cheetah. I hope the sculptor sued him, though it probably wouldn't have done much good because art almost always loses to... just about anything else. And I'm not even talking about corporate, capitalistic companies. Well, I hope the sculptor sued the cheetah's ass for every penny he could, and I also hope he sued whatever company owns Cheetos. (I am sad to say that my lack of knowledge includes a lack of the all-important facts of which companies own which junk food products.) The fucking cheetah. What an arrogant animal...
I haven't even said anything about the kids in the commercial yet. They were seriously lacking respect for both art and hard work, considering they were those snowboard-all-day-and-blow-off-any-and-all-hard-work type of kids. Who get F's. Yeah. Not that all snowboarders are like that. I'm just saying that those kids were. Obviously. Yes, I recall that pudgy, short, black kid saying, "That's bogus!" as if he were in some way cooler for saying "bogus." It must be a "style" to say "bogus" and "snowboard" while not doing any "work" and having no "respect" for others who "do". I'm guessing that those "cool" kids on the commercial, who's lack of vocabulary and surplus of "insolence" can't help but draw my attention to the commercial creator's advertising genius, got even "cooler" by "eating some fucking Cheetos ". Or perhaps their ridiculous excess of "cool-ness" helped raise Cheetos' product "cool-ness" rating. Or maybe not. Yes, maybe it did just the opposite.
It's funny how some advertisements work. They're so stupid that they make people like me write about them, only spreading the knowledge of the prouct. Now I'm even more angry...
Fucking cheetah...
<--emoH