Dead Clown Disposal Services



 Has this ever happened to you?

You're at a birthday party. Things get a little crazy. The next thing you know, you've got a dead clown on your hands.

Now what do you do?

Relax. We at Dead Clown Disposal Services will take care of everything*. Our professional staff is trained to clean up even the messiest dead clowns. Listen to what a few of our satisfied customers have to say:

We had a clown crawl under our porch and die... It smelled awful! One call to Dead Clown Disposal Services was all it took. Thanks, DCDS!
  - Scott, New Orleans

I couldn't believe how well they cleaned up the garage after our clown's "accident." They even washed the blood off our lawnmower blades. I'm recommending Dead Clown Disposal Services to all my friends!
  - Tony, Cleveland

Our 8 year old son tried to dispose of a dead clown by himself and made a real mess in our kitchen. You know kids! Anyway, DCDS got rid of the clown, washed all of our knives, and even cleaned our oven. And such friendly service!
  - Janet, San Francisco



Get rid of that dead clown once and for all!
Your name:

Your e-mail address:

Where is your dead clown? Please be as specific as possible:

  
Rates:

First 100 lbs: $300.00

Each additional lb: $5.00

Silly balloons: $0.75 per balloon

Shoe surcharge: $10.00 if shoes are larger than size 16

Special service: $1000.00 if the clown isn't quite dead, no questions asked
* We don't actually have a license to dispose of dead clowns. It is also illegal to destroy evidence of a homicide, even if the victim was a clown. Let's just say that if you were to casually mention the whereabouts of a dead clown, then make a donation to our cause, you might be surprised to discover your dead clown has disappeared.
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