July 26, 1999 Well, i go to the dr. on Wed. next week. Yep. finally going again. I did take another test this morning and of course it came out neg. so i called to set up an appt. i'm right now 29 dpo and on day 37 of my cycle. Temps are still up (especially since i got my basal thermometer now) and CP has stayed up and has gotten thicker. So, i'm pretty good feeling about going in. I do want to have them check my HCG levels. i'd like to know exactly what mine are! Of course i've looked up all the info on stuff and i'm 5 to 6 weeks today. and my edd would be from the 21st to the 26th. i know when i o'ed so i guess they will probaby still go by LMP though. oh well.

I did actually find a few other people who take a long time to show up on a HPT too! i'm so happy about that! i don't feel like i'm the only person in the world that has this problem! i also found a chart that shows the different levels of HCG that a woman can have and it ranges greatly! some dont' start getting it till around the 8th or 10th week! (like me!) i was very relieved to find that too! if anyone is interested, the info can be found at www.babydata.com it'll be undersome of the FAQ's there.

August 3, 1999 well, i'm still going to my dr. appt tomorrow, though i started bleeding on Sunday morning. it only lasted a day and a half, but my cp is back to it's mid-low postition and is soft now. My temps have not gone back down yet, the lowest i've had is 97.8 so far. last month during af it was 97.5, so i don't know if that's saying something or what. i'm still going in to get some questions answered, including why my af's are starting to get a lot shorter. normal is 4 or 5 days, last month was 3 days, this was 1 1/2. i don't really think that's good. i'm upset to say the least that my hopes have been stomped again. i don't think i ever want to get on the pill again!

August 4, 1999 Well, it went as expected. not pg. i did get to talk with the dr. for quite a while and got questions answered and feel better though. first he said not to worry about shorter periods....in fact he said to consider it a blessing. :) and he told me to chart for 2 more months so we can see a better routine for my cycles and if they don't get shorter, or if i don't get pg during that time then i can come in and we can discuss taking an ovulation inducer called clomid. he doesn't really think i'll need it though since i've had 2 successful pgs. and most of all he said to relax (of course) and not to worry about it.

he also said the pill is not affecting me now, it's just my own body adjusting itself. (figures. : p)

i am looking into some natural remedies to help regulate af's and help ovulation though. won't hurt, that's for sure.

August 25,1999 It's been awhile since I wrote anything, only cause I've been trying not to think to much about TTC. I have been keeping up with my BBT though and this cycle actually looks normal! I just o'ed like 3 days ago and we did the BD on the first day my temps started rising, so I don't know if it'll be this month or not, just part of the waiting game i guess. Maybe if it's going normally, I'll have a normal length cycle too. since i'm sure I"ve o'ed now, it's not to far away to the end, or to the positive moment.

Becky came over today and she's showing so much! I really feel for her though cause her knees are giving her so much problems and so she's having to use a wheelchair now by prescription from the dr. (her femurs are dieing and are pretty weak) so she has to also keep a pretty strict diet so that she won't gain to much extra and not put her in more pain than nessecary. She thinks this will be her last baby since all of this has happened, but at least this pg is a good one for her!

August 31, 1999 Well, today I"ve discovered some disturbing news. I have a short LP (luteal phase - the time between ovulation and the start of next cycle). This is a problem because it doens't give the egg time enough to implant properly and start growing before the uterine lining is gotten rid of. I had a temp drop this morning, but didn't really think nothing of it til i started bleeding. I just thought it was cause we slept with the windows open last night and it got cold. So my cycle was 30 days, but I only had a 7 day LP. I went back and checked last months chart and could see that it was the same then too. I couldn't really tell before cause my temps seemed so screwy from where I went from a regular thermometer to a basal, but it's definately there.

But I"m thinking, it must change at some point since I"ve had 2 kids now. I know it took me a year to get pg with Canaan, and a year later Katlyn was concieved, I hadn't really thought about it cause when we got pg with her it was when I wanted too, but i'd been without birth control for at least 8 months (including coming off breast feeding) so maybe I've always had this problem. I don't know.

I know that if this continues I basically have no chances of keeping a pg. Which makes me think that it's very possible that I was pg earlier this year and just couldnt' keep it. But I"m hopeful, I mean, I've had 2 pregnancies, so there has to be something or sometime that my LP goes a bit longer, seems to run at one year intervals, so if that's the case, I should probably look forward to being able to get pg about December again.

There are herbs that I can take, I'm waiting to hear from Amber on the mailing list so that she can give me the list of what's available to help with lengthening a LP. I hope they do the trick. I've not cried yet, but it's probably going to bring me to tears to realize how lucky I"ve been to have actually been able to have my 2 babies so far. And of course wondering if they're going to be my last.

September 11, 1999 Things going along normal so far. Temps have been good but no sign of ovulation yet of course. if it stays the same as the past few months, i won't until about the 20th. I'm not stressing myself about it anymore. i've decided to work on losing some more weight for now, get into better shape some more. see just how far i can get myself to go before putting on the pregnancy weight. :)

we're getting us a car. i'm excited about it cause it will mean our payments will be going down! that will make a huge financial difference! I'll be glad to not have $120.00 to worry about coming up with each month!

September 16, 1999 It's amazing how much different it is having a cycle that isn't all freaky! I actually know what to expect each morning and stuff and it's really rather cool. I'll keep up my charting after i do have the next baby just so i can keep this.....knowledge up.

still no sign of ovulating yet. i figure this cycle is going to be another short LP. i'm still taking the estrogen complex with the vitex, and i don't know if that is what has put me back on a normal length cycle, but so far it doesn't seem to have lengthened my LP. i'll keep it up though, it's only good for me. :)

I'll pick up my car tomorrow and i'm very excited!

September 27, 99 I finally ovulated this morning. :) I was worried that it was going to be another long cycle but I was only a couple days late this month. I know my LP will probably still be 7 days, but I'm thinking that the closer it gets to a year then I'll have better chances again. silly huh? but oh well, can't be pessimistic about it. gotta keep a smile on my face and carry on. :)

October 5, 99 I'm SOOOOOO excited today! I"m on the 8th day of my LP! Yes, it seems something must have worked from this month or else my body is starting to straighten itself out now! For those that didnt' read the previous entries, I've only had 7 day LP's for as long as I"ve been charting and probaly since I came off the pill. This means I'm getting closer to being able to get pg! Even if my temp drops tomorrow, I can still hope that my Lp will lengthen by at least one day a month til i can hold a pg. This is great news! I felt like jumping for joy this morning , and if the kids weren't still sleeping i would have too! ;) Thank you Lord for helping me!

October 6, 99 I'm on day 9 !!!! I can't believe it , I'm so excited! It's running through my mind, 'what if i am pg now?' but i dont want to get myself to hyped up in case af shows it's ugly face. but i can't help but be happy about this!

October 7,99 Yes, i'm still on my LP. Day 10 now and very happy! The only thing that bothers me is these last 3 days i've had lite cramps. i used to cramp the day before AF would start, but haven't been doing that all summer or longer, so i don't know what to think about it. I thought for sure that i would start AF today cause when i checked CP last night i had a small streak of brown CM, so i figured that was the beginning, but my temp was still up over cover this morning, just a bit though at 98.1 so no AF today. I get nervous when i think about the morning, if af will be here, but still, i've gotten these days to be happy over. if i do start AF at least I have these extra days to look forward to for next month right?

October 10, 99 I'm on the 3rd day of af now. I'm not to upset about it cause i did get a 10 day LP, so i look forward to this month. I started taking some B6, it's supposed to also help lengthen my LP, so i'll see how well we do this month! I'm not giving up til i get a positive HPT!

October 26, 99 Well, i've ovulated today! I'm excited cause i've been taking B-6 this month (to help lengthen my LP even more) and it's seemed to work! I guessed that I would O today by calculating a 13 day LP with a 32 day cycle and WOO HOO i did it! of course we did the BD at the right times too, so i'll be crazy by the end of this cycle wondering if it's going to be this month! :)

November 4, 99 Well, here I am at 10 dpo, and going strong. I've been taking the B-6 still, and it's still working so far. I"m hoping for a 13 day LP this month of course. We did BD at all the right times, but I'm not going to let myself get excited until I know it's time to get excited ! I of course don't usually have any symptoms of pg until much later in pg, so I can't go by what I may feel or such. oh well, at least I've got the BBT to go by!

November 6, 99 Here it is day 12 now! I just took my temp and it was 98.7! I'm starting to get excited. Usually by now my temps have started falling off getting ready for af. And this is almost a triphasic temp! It would be except that i had a 98.6 five days ago, but no big deal, you don't have to have triphasic temps to be pg!

I have been very tired since the time change, and i really don't understand that cause i'm supposed to gain an hour, not lose it, but i feel as if i've lost about 6 hours worth every day! ho hum. tomarrow "should" be the last day of my LP and from there I'll be able to tell what's going to happen with the rest of this month (and hopefully the next 9!)

November 11,99 Well, here I am finishing af this month. Yeah, October wasn't my month either. I did make it to 13 1/2 LP days though, so as long as I keep my B6 up this month, I should make a 16 day LP this month.

November 16, 99 ho hum, I get so tired of each month passing by like this. I know that it took a year to get pg with DS, and so I will probably be getting pg soon, but I seriously get frustrated. I try to keep my thoughts positive and happy, but when you see everyone else getting pg around you it gets kinda aggrevating. Not that i'm not happy for them, just upset with myself. Anyway, I go through this month, my 11th month of TTC baby #3.

November 27, 99 Well, here I am at 3 dpo. I'm hoping for a 14 day LP this month. We did BD at the right times, but I'm not getting all obsessive this month. I'm tired of doing it each month only to let each month pass by. It's been a long year that's for sure. It brings back memories of the year it took us to get pg with Canaan. I'm doing better this time , I suppose, cause I"ve got the two babies here and they keep me occupied for sure. Sometimes I wonder how I'll do three kids ! :) I've decided to hopefully wait and start a new journal page whenever I get pg, kinda like a new beginning or so. We'll see, this page doesn't want to get to much longer. :)

December 1, 99 I'm 7 dpo now and my temps jumped today. They've stayed at 98.2 for 5 out of 6 days, and today they went up to 98.6. :) I don't guess it's something to get excited about, but i was wondering why they were staying so steady (that ain't normal for me) and it's a big jump too, i had a big jump from pre 0 temps to o temps too though. (from 97.3 to 98.2) maybe this month will be different for a lot of good reasons? It'd be nice to give a nice Christmas present like announcing another baby to the family. (well, at least most of the family. LOL)

December 4, 1999 10 dpo and going. My temps are still up right now (98.6) of course that could change in the morning, we'll see. cp was very firm last night, usually by 5 days before af gets here, it starts getting soft around the edges and working it's way up to completely soft. These things are just for facts though, I"m not getting myself worked up yet. *sigh* It's been a year this month, I hope I don't start the new year still trying.

December 9, 1999 I'm on 15 dpo to day. Didn't think i'd make it this far! Im guessing I'll have a 16 day LP or else this will be my last day. We'll find out tomorrow. Yesterday my waking temp was 98.9 !! That pretty much freaked me out. Today it was back to 98.6, though i had trouble sleeping the last couple of hours (thanks to the anticipation of seeing my temp! hahha) but anyway, cp is firm - soft still (it's been like this for about 5 days now) i'm thinking it might have been more soft though, i'll check again tonight to make sure. If for some reason I don't start af tomorrow and my temps are still up the next day (17 dpo) i'll take a test. I'm still trying not to get excited over this, you'd think i'd learn by now. oh well.

We had a speaker at church the other night. He was a Russian General named Borisov. About 15 years ago during one of their wars, he was shot down by enemy fire while in a helicopter, and remembering the words of his soldiers from the underground churches, about Jesus, he cried out to the Lord to save him, and He did. :) Since then he' s been giving his testimony and has taken up the mission to give Bibles to his troops (who desperately need them) and to help spread the name of Jesus. It was a wonderful testimony, Im so glad i went. He works through Revival Fires Ministries here in the U.S. (I think their out in Colorado) when he is going around the world. We got to talk to him after the service (he spoke some English). And did you know that the soldiers in Russia make the equivalent of $1.00 for a whole month's work?????!!!! Yes, a dollar! and most of them haven't been paid for months! I was stunned by this! As a General, he only makes an equivalent of $100.00 (when he's paid) a month. Can you imagine???? He was telling us that when he goes back, the people he talks to ask him questions about America. Like "how many cowboys there are" (he said they tend to think half of America is cowboys and the other half are thier wives! LOL) He also has to tell them that in American schools , he can go in and talk about anything except Jesus and the Bible. And they don't believe him, cause America is the land of freedom, they were built on the Bible! It's what made them the most powerful nation in the world ! How could they start abandoning Jesus??? He was very sad over this. (and I am too, along with so many others , I know) To hear him speaking, gave me so much to think about. I wrote it all down cause i want to remember what I learned. They had a bunch of pins from the soldiers (who give them as thank you when they get a Bible or such) and different things, they sell these items to raise money to build churches on the Russian military bases ! I got a set of pins that go on the shoulders of a uniform (can't remember what to call them) and a 1993 $100.00 Rupee (which is = to $1.00 here) I dont' think they are good any more over there though. I hightly recommend that if you ever get a chance to meet the General, that you take it. It's well worth the visit.

Journal Page 4

Journal Front Page