Getting Back to the Self I Knew
This is simply a page on what I did to lose the weight that I'd gained after having my two children since 1995. I'm not a person that has ever done a diet right, been able to deny myself some sort of food that I was craving and things like that, so when I went from maintaining a steady 135 lbs, to being a constant 180 to 185 lbs, needless to say I felt I was very unlikely to be able to get rid of it. It depressed me thinking of having to diet and exercise (which were not my favorite pasttimes). I just wanted to be able to feel good about myself again, to look in the mirror and recognize who I was looking at.
Now, when I was growing up, I always felt fat, I never thought of myself as thin. Even though I was a size 7/8 all through high school, it seemed that everyone was smaller than me. I think it had to do with when I was little and everyone called me chubby and big boned because I had those little cheeks you just wanted to pinch. :) (my son is blessed with the same ones!) So, that kind of stuck with me up until about a year ago, when I learned (finally) that I was slim, and could be that way again.
After I had my daughter in 1997, I thought for sure that I'd lose that unwanted stuff that persisted in hanging on my tummy, and would be the girl I remembered. Well, it didn't quite happen that way. I'd known for a while that my weight was a problem, just kind of ignored it I guess. (though it was hard to do!) but it wasn't enough to get me to want to do something about it.
Then one day, I came upon this book, I was enrolled in the Crossings book club and found this book... The Seven Secrets of Slim People. It gave a short description of the book, and it sparked my interest. It basically said that I could lose the weight without denying myself the foods that I want, and that dieting was bad for me anyway. hhhmmm... what an idea!
The book is by Vikki Hansen, MSW and Shawn Goodman and it's a permanent Non-diet solution. It's published by the Hay House, Inc at 1-800-654-5126
It takes you through some simple facts about your body and the damage you can do by dieting, and of course the seven "secrets" the book is named after.
I didn't think I'd find anything that would help me like this did. To point out the simple and so often ignored things of our culture, it really opened my eyes.
These were the pictures that really got me to wanting to change. This is from my mom's wedding in Feb. 98. That's me in the burgundy dress, can't tell where my tummy ends and my bust begins. :) In this picture I was wearing a size 16-18. I hated to shop for clothes, me and mom shopped for the dress I'm wearing here, and it just really got my spirits low!
Anyway, after seeing these, I finally opened my eyes to see that I had to do something. Anything. Now.
It took me a year to drop 30 lbs, but this was done with out much exercise (though I do try to do something to work myself each day) and with out dieting. I never changed what I ate! That is the biggest thing. If I wanted a salad, I'd eat a salad, if I wanted a Wendy's cheeseburger, I'd have that. The only thing I did was to listen to my body. If I wasn't hungry, I wouldn't eat. If I was full, I wouldn't keep eating , that means I quit eating before I got that terrible bloated, I think I'm going to pop feeling! If I was bored, I would find something else to do. Simple things like that, that have made a world of difference.
So, this is me in November 1998. Wearing some of my old clothes (the shirt I wore before I had my son!)I'd only lost 20 lbs at this point, so was at 160 lbs and wearing a size 14.
This is me in March this year. I'm hovering between 150-155 lbs. now and wearing a size 12-13. I'm still wanting to get into a single digit size, but am so much more happy with myself, and feeling so much more...pretty, I guess, I'm not depressed when I go look for clothes now, and feel good about myself now when I do anything. My husband has been great through all of this. He says he's always loved me, no matter my size, that he knew I just needed time. He's been my rock through all of it and has made me feel even better now that I'm feeling good about myself again.
When I look back and think that I've lost 30 lbs, and never thought I'd be able to do it when I started out, and now, I've come so far, and have figured out how to keep myself on track, it amazes me that I've actually done this!
I know the weight battle is not over, I have to remind myself what I need to do. Not to eat if I'm bored (that was a habit of mine growing up!) and not to stuff myself like a Thanksgiving turkey!
I hope that something I've said here will help someone. I know I looked hard for that help when I needed it. Just trust in your body to know what it's doing. You may have to retrain your brain to know what your body is saying, but it can be done. You were born to be slim for your body size, don't let someone tell you that you were born to be big. That's just an excuse. You can be what you desire, and it doesn't have to hurt.
God bless!
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