Ass-Kickers Song

	Hugh and Stephen are a pair of country boys: Hugh 
	has a guitar and Stephen has a very creepy look.


Hugh		My brother Oren and I would like to sing for
		you now, but we can't. At least my brother Oren
		can't, bein' as how he suffered a strange musical
		accident when he was young, that caused lasting and
		considerable damage. So if it's all the same to you,
		my brother Oren will just sit here and tap along to
		the strange rhythms in his head. This song is called
		"There Ain't But One Way". (Starts to play)

		(Sings)
		The world is facin' problems,
		Gettin' bigger every day,
		We got a greenhouse over Texas,
		And recession's on the way,
		There's hunger in the third world,
		There's anger in the first,
		Half the world is floodin',
		And the other's dyin' of thirst,
		But tho' people they may tell you,
		That this planet's dyin' fast,
		I ain't seen a problem yet,
		Can't be solved by kickin' ass,
		Kickin' ass!

Stephen		Kickin' ass!

Hugh		Kickin' ass is what we do,
		Kickin' ass!

Stephen		Kickin' ass!

Hugh		Iron foot in the velvet shoe,
		We don't care whose ass we kick,
		If we're ever all alone,
		We just stand in front of the mirror,
		And try to kick our own,
		We kicked ass in Grenada
		We kicked ass in Iraq
		We've kicked the ass out of the ozone layer
		Now they say we gotta kick it back,
		We'll kick the ass of cancer
		We'll kick the ass of AIDS
		And as for global warming
		We'll just kick ass wearing shades.

Stephen		Kickin' ass!

Hugh		Kickin' ass is what we do
		Kickin' ass

Stephen		Kickin' ass!

Hugh		Iron foot in the velvet shoe
		We don't care whose ass we kick
		If we're ever all alone
		We just stand in front of the mirror
		And try to kick our own
		Yes you can move your ass
		Haul your ass
		And bustin' ass is fine
		And there ain't a better place to put your ass
		Than on the line
		But if you're like us
		And you won't take second best
		You'll just put your kickin' boots on
		And kick like all the rest.