News Report

	Hugh is in a belted raincoat, addressing the camera with 
	a microphone: behind him is an imposing building. He is 
	a bit nervous: Stephen is the cameraman, hence we only 
	hear his voice off.


Hugh		Ready?

Stephen		Yup.

Hugh		You don't mind that car being parked there? That's
		all right is it?

Stephen		Fine, we don't see it.

Hugh		OK. Right. (Clears his throat) The atmosphere
		outside Bristol Crown Court was tense this morning
		... sorry ...

Stephen		What?

Hugh		Better just let these people through ...

Stephen		What people?

Hugh		These people ... Oh. Tsch. They've gone the
		other way. Huh. Looked as if they were going to
		come this ...

Stephen		Ready whenever you are.

Hugh		Right. The atmosphere outside Bristol Crown Court
		was tense this afternoon as the defendants ... oh
		damn. Ha ha ha.

Stephen		What?

Hugh		I said Plymouth Crown Court.

Stephen		No you didn't.

Hugh		Didn't I?

Stephen		You said Bristol.

Hugh		Did I? Tsch. Could have sworn I said ... anyway.
		Ready?

Stephen		Ready.

Hugh		The atmosphere outside Bristol Crown Court was
		tense this afternoon ...

Stephen		What is it now?

Hugh		Sorry. Frog in my throat. (He does some very 
		elaborate coughing) That's better. Right. Shall we do
		it?

Stephen		Yes!

Hugh		I agree. Let's just go ahead and do it. In one. Ready?

Stephen		Jesus Christ.

Hugh		Right. The atmosphere outside Bristol Crown
		Court was ... sorry, would you mind moving
		to one side ... there were some kids staring at
		me, thanks very much. Right. This is it. Here we
		go.

Stephen		Arrgh.

Hugh		The atmosphere outside Bristol Crown Court was
		tense this afternoon, as the defendants ... oh I
		don't believe it.

Stephen		WHAT IS IT NOW?

Hugh		Aeroplane.

Stephen		What!?

Hugh		Can't you hear it?

Stephen		NO!

Hugh		Aeroplane. Listen. I thought it was an aeroplane.
		Sounded like a DC10 actually.

Stephen		Can we get on with this?

Hugh		Yeah, hear hear. Let's do it right now, OK. The
		atmosphere outside Bristol ... tell you what. I've
		just had a thought. Wouldn't it be better if we did
		this round the back, in case they come out that
		way ...

Stephen		Do this now, or I will kill you.

Hugh		What?

Stephen		I will kill you unless you do this now.

Hugh		Oh look, hey, you can't expect me to work under
		these circumst ...

	The camera starts to move towards Hugh.

		All right, all right. The atmosphere outside
		Bristol Crown Court was tense this afternoon
		as the defendants ... oh my God!

Stephen		What?

Hugh		There they are!

Stephen		Where?

Hugh		Over there, coming out of that door!

	The camera pans quickly round: nothing. Pans back: 
	Hugh has vanished. Pans the other way: Hugh is 
	disappearing down the street.

Stephen		Twat.

Hugh		Computers? Bollocks, more like.