Tahitian Kitchen

	Music and titles. Typical cookery programme. Beautifully 
	presented. Stephen is dressed as Elizabeth Martin, a 
	television cook.


Stephen		Good morning, I'm Elizabeth Martin and welcome
		to this week's Tahitian Kitchen. Last week if you can
		be bothered to remember, we looked at presentation
		and garnishing of main dishes, Tahitian style. We cov-
		ered the range of exotic and tasty herbs and spices
		that characterise this all too bloody often neglected
		cuisine. This week, I'm thinking particularly of those
		who might be on a tighter budget and who would like
		to prepare Tahitian dishes without stretching their
		sodding pockets too much. So I'm going to show
		you what you can do with some of the rarer off-cuts
		of meat, lights and offal, which while they may not
		sound appetising are, when properly prepared, as
		tempting, nutritious and arsingly well worth eating
		as any of the dearer cuts.

	We see on her chopping board a number of bowls with 
	heaps of spices and so on. There are also some parcels of 
	meat wrapped in greaseproof paper.

		Now I know a lot of people are funny about
		eating ears, eyes, brains, noses and so on, but with
		a little care I think you'll find out that they can be
		worth the trouble. I have two young ears here, for
		instance, which I have salted slightly and marinaded
		overnight.

	She pulls out two human ears.

		It is important that they are young, these are
		taken from an Anglia television journalist,
		whom I slaughtered two days ago. Freshness is
		the most important factor with ears. What I'm going
		to do is combine them with the sweetbreads, or
		testicles (she produces them) and the fingers (brings 
		up the fingers) in a provencal sauce of tomato and
		garlic.

	She blends them together.

		If you want to add feet and toes I would urge you
		to remember that smaller is tastier. These are from
		a Welsh articled clerk, Welsh feet are preferable if you
		can find them at this time of year. It's a good idea to
		hang the carcass upside-down for at least five hours
		just after killing. The toes are ideal as finger-treats
		or appetising dips.

	She shows a bowl of toes, lightly grilled.

		Care to have a try, Michael?

	Hugh comes on from another part of the set.

Hugh		I'm game for anything, Elizabeth!

Stephen		(Rather violently) Don't I know it. There you are,
		this is a simple barbecue sauce.

	Hugh dips the toe into a sauce.

Hugh		I must say. Rather delicious.

Stephen		And they won't break the bank either.

Hugh		(To camera. In announcer mode) And talking of
		breaking the bank, Sue has been investigating ...