Things Bart has had to write on the chalkboard as punishment:

I will not defame New Orleans

I will not waste chalk

I will not skateboard in the halls

I will not burp in class

I will not instigate a revolution

I will not draw naked ladies in class

I did not see Elvis

I will not call my teacher 'Hot Cakes'

Garlic gum is not funny

They are laughing at me, not with me

I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom

I will not encourage others to fly

I will not fake my way through life

Tar is not a plaything

I will not Xerox my butt

I will not trade my pants with others

I will not do that thing with my tongue

I will not drive the principal's car

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

I will not sell school property

I will not cut corners

I will not get very far with this attitude

I will not make flatulent noises in class

I will not belch the National Anthem

I will not sell land in Florida

I will not grease the monkey bars

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

I will not do anything bad ever again

I will not show off {Written in an Old English font}

I will not sleep through my education

I am not a dentist

Spitwads are not free speech

Nobody likes sunburn slappers

High explosives and school don't mix

I will not bribe Principal Skinner

I will finish what I sta

Hamsters cannot fly

Underwear should be worn on the inside

The Christmas pageant does not stink

I will not torment the emotionally frail

I will not carve gods

I will not spank others

I will not aim for the head

I will not barf unless I am sick

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's [sic] lounge

I will not conduct my own fire drills

Funny noises are not funny

I will not snap bras

I will not fake seizures

This punishment is not boring and meaningless

My name is not Dr. Death

I will not prescribe medication

I will not bury the new kid

I will not bring sheep to class

A burp is not an answer

Teacher is not a leper

I will not eat things for money

I will not yell "She's dead!" during roll call

The principal's toupee is not a frisbee

I will not squeak chalk

Goldfish do not bounce

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups