| Male and female translations |
| Anyways, Candy thinks I should get a new dress for the upcoming company party. What do you think? What he says: Yes dear, By all means....get a new dress. What he means: That damn bitch Candy is gonna bankrupt my ass. Besides.....I always get drunk at that party and by the end of the night, I'm ripping that dress off you. She also thinks I need a new hair style for it. It is, after all formal. What he says: What he means: I'll ignore that comment. Its costing me money and if I dont respond, It will go away. Are you listening dear? What he says: Yes dear.....get the dress....I want you to have it. What he means: He He I side stepped that one. Well, I think its important I look good around all your bosses,......Dont you? What he says: Yes, Of Course.......But I am always proud of you. What he means: If that bastard watches your ass all night long again, I may not have that job the next day. I'll deck his ass. Last Christmas he followed you around all night long like a dog in heat. I dont even think he noticed you had a dress on. I think he was just taking things off you the whole time in his head. Candy and I are also going to get boots to go with our dresses. Theres a sale on boots at Sears and we can get them half off. I'll save you some money by going there. What he says: Great dear. I love that your saving me money. Can't get enough of that! What he means: If Candy talks you into another sale, I'll use those new boots on her ass. How can money disappearing from my checking account be considered saving? I'll pick you up some new clothes too. They have a sale on mens clothes also. What he says: Ok hon.....! What he means: Oh god no......All the guys will be laughing at me again. I still haven't lived down the last party she picked out clothes for me. Ok dear. I'll be going now. Can I have the credit card? What he says: Its in the top drawer. What he means: <Chuckle> That card is well hidden. Found it!.....See you later. What he says: Wait dear......I need your help a second. What he means: I hid that card. Shes never getting out of here alive. How about holding this part up by this part for me dear while i put this screw in. What she says: Sure Hon! What she meant: I'll bet hes flabbergasted I knew where that card was. Old bastard! Hiding that card from me. Ok baby now turn this. What he thinks: Shes screwing me again and.....no foreplay! What she says. Sure baby. What she means: I hate tools. They are hard on my nails. Uhhh baby.....you know I'm feeling kind of........... (Now in mens circles this is whats known as a last ditch effort.) uhhh kinda..... Kinda what baby? Well.......horny! Now? Yes now dear. Its all that talking you've done! What he means: I'll take her to bed and we'll miss the entire party and I'll save thousands. What she says:Well....now that you mention it...I'm feeling the same way! What she means: Ok so its a 5 minute rain delay. They dont call him the minute man for nothing. He'll pass out and I'll have most of the evening with the credit cards. I get to screw him twice for the price of one. He should thank me for that. Moans are heard.....then What he says:I love you baby. What he means: Take that you costly whore. What she says:Oh baby!.....deeper. What she means: Is it in yet? What he says: I need you honey. What he means: Ineed you to stay home with the money. What she says: Thats it baby, Your sending me someplace. What she means: Thats right you tightwad bastard your sending me to Sears as soon as.......I......Clamp............DOWN!!!! What he says: Take it all......Take it all. What he means: Oh god I need 4 more hours(Looking at the clock). Please...not ................now!.....uhhhhhhhhh.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! What she says:Oh baby......I'm coming....Coming to poppa! What she means: No one fakes them better than I do. The door shuts before she gets thru with the orgasm! What he says.......Bye baby. What he means: Damn!!!!.......No wonder I married her. Who cares about the money! ZZZZZZZZZZzzzz |
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