general annoyance

Sometimes in life its good to be nice e.g. kittens, other fluffy items, etc. (e.g. maramsettes). But lets face it, most of the time its much more rewarding being a bastard. When you've exauseted the old favourites e.g. spitting on people, killing their family and making them listen to "so solid crew" (especially that romeo knobba) You may want to try these patented zandrew tecniques, first used in world war I by the french.

general annoyance, nothing to do with the war (not a delicious pun):

  • when meeting someone for the first time, use a differnt name. not in any way relavent to your name (i.e. a nickname) nor an amusing name which may lead them to think that its some sort of joke.
    Then when they say "hello ." respond by saying: "HAHA that is not my real name you fooligan!" and skip away giggling and occasionally clicking your heels together in a cockney musical stylee.

  • if by chance, caused by the latest ructions in the middle east, you come across a group of war protestors (usually the ones eating tofu and hanging around with skiving school children) remember to ask them the following questions:
    "where does saddam hussain keep his CD's?" then skip away shouting "iraq, iraq" and occasionally clicking your heels together in a cockney musical stylee.

  • if you know of someone in the shoe making proffesion, hire elves to complete the shoes during the night both confusing them and forcing them do watch crap daytime television until the next batch of leather in delivered.
    when you next see see them say: "how's the shoe making today?" and skip away giggling and occasionally clicking your heels together in a cockney musical stylee.

  • upon spotting someone you wish to annoy scoop up some H20 into your cupped hands.
    casually walk up behind this victim and make a sneezing noise whilst simultaneously flicking water onto the back of their neck proceeding to skip away giggling and occasionally clicking your heels together in a cockney musical stylee.

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© zandrew and veeva la frenchies