GARFIELD'S TOP TEN LISTS

Top Ten Misconceptions about Garfield

10. He was once banned from the comics for betting on a Peanuts baseball game
9. He can cure scurvy with the touch of his paw
8. He's really an Ewok in a cat suit
7. If you read his strip backward, it says, "Elvis, your pork rinds are here"
6. He graduated from Harvard Medical School
5. He and Bill Clinton once came to blows over a cheeseburger
4. He won a Tony for Cats
3. He was Shirly MacLaine in a previous life
2. He already knows the winnders of the next eight Super Bowls
1. He's stuck to the windows of every single car in America

Top Ten most likely meanings for the name Arbuckle

10. wiener-chested
9. rash giver
8. pudding-brained
7. man of socks
6. dances with cows
5. he who giggles in battle
4. uh-oh, here he comes
3. royal bore
2. village dweeb
1. cat-whipped

Top Ten Advantages to Being Odie

10. Never has to read Paradise Lost
9. Plenty of saliva for throwing spitballs
8. Isn't embarassed if he forgets to give "Jeopardy" answer in the form of a question
7. Relief always as close as the nearest tree
6. Tongue can reach those "hard-to-lick" places
5. Teenage girls think stupidity is cute
4. Can buy and sell Marmaduke
3. Okay to scratch himself in public
2. Lack of brains means big-time bliss
1. All the toilet water he can drink

Top Ten Explanations for Lyman's disappearance

10. Left strip to pursue dream of Olympic figure-skating gold
9. Joined CIA, working undercover in Russian comics
8. Had lunch with Jimmy Hoffa, and then...
7. Took role of Elaine on "Taxi"
6. Hit on Blondie and Cathy; editors complained; Davis fired him
5. Disfigured in drawing accident
4. Moved to San Francisco
3. Opted for career in hotel/motel management
2. Ballooned to 270 pounds; wouldn't fit in cartoon panels
1. Don't look in Jon's basement...

Top Ten Things Garfield does on Christmas Eve

10. Heckle Carolers
9. Roast pizza on an open fire
8. Enlarge stocking
7. Test mistletoe.  Often.
6. Get nog-faced
5. Take a long winters nap
4. Start Christmas shopping
3. Fax last minute demands to North Pole
2. Fake being good one more time
1. Bait the Santa Trap