Justin looked across from him. He took it upon him self to sit in the seats at the arena and watch the guys goof around. Thoughts about coming clean to them ran through his mind, and then thoughts of their reaction also ran through his mind. He didn’t know where to start, he couldn’t do it. He knew he needed to play off what he did two nights as being so drunk that he didn’t know who he was talking to. From the sounds of it, he thought JC played it as both being way too drunk.

Joey talked to him about it, and asked him why he was upset about Britney. If everything was okay between them, which was when Justin knew he needed Britney to be on tour with him. But the soonest she could come out was in March and only stay a week. He almost came clean with Britney, he started to talk about loving his best friend but she thought he was talking about her and that night they had had sex. He never told her, didn’t know how to tell her. He wasn’t even sure how he actually went through the process of having sex with her. He did it nonetheless, which surprised him so much.

Justin watched as JC and Lance goofed around with each other. He knew it wouldn’t be the same, JC never forgot things. He remembered every little thing, and ever big thing. Justin sighed when he noticed a few cameras pointing towards him; he took his eyes off JC and looked at them. MTV always had to have something going on with the boys of NSYNC.

“Hey, Jace…” Justin started as he leaned against the stage calling for JC. “Can, I barrow your cell phone, I left mine on the bus.” He added as JC ran over tossing the phone to him and walking back to where he had been.

“We are going out tonight” Joey stated squatting down in front of Justin.

“Joe, I don’t really feel up to going out. I still feel drunk from my birthday.” Justin gave a half smile as he started to turn around.

“I don’t care if you are still drunk from your birthday. We are all of age to drink now, so we are all going out tonight. We have two shows to do here, and then we are back on the road for two weeks. You know you want to get fucked!” Joey smiled raising his eyebrows and winking at Justin.

“Britney’s not going to be here until next month.” Justin rolled his eyes punching in a few more numbers into the cell phone turning away from Joey.

“J, when has Britney not being around ever stop you before?” Joey stopped Justin dead in his tracks.

Justin turned his head to the side and gave Joey a deadly glare has he lipped the words ‘fuck off’. He walked past the cameras and took his seat in the arena, his eyes never leaving the guys on the stage. Just before the other end picked up the phone started to beep. Justin looked and noticed Tyler; JC’s brother was calling through.

“Hey fucker” Tyler shouted into the phone, “I swear to God if you don’t get tiny or big dada or someone out here to help me get inside I’ll tell mom your secret!” he added

“Ty?” Justin asked raising an eyebrow.

“Josh?” Tyler asked unable to hear clearly from all the girls screaming out side the arena.

“No Justin.”

Tyler stumbled over his words, “Need some up out side little bro?” Justin added getting up from his seat and walking to the back of the arena, his body guard following.

“None at all J, I just love being touched by nasty little girls.” Tyler’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

Tyler got Justin to go out with the rest of the guys. Despite all the protesting he had done, he finely gave him to the little 19 year old. They started at one club, then moved to another and another and finely made it back to the hotel. Justin, Tyler and JC were all in JC’s room taking shots of tequila.

“Seriously Justin, I’m only 19 and I’ve out drank you. You are WEAK!” Tyler rolled his eyes pounding another shot as JC filled it up again.

“He can’t handle his alcohol Ty. You should have seen him on his birthday.” JC full out laughed taking a double shot. “Shit it’s hot.” He mumbled pulling off his shirt then pouring more alcohol in their shot glasses.

Justin had a hard time not letting his eyes roam all over JC’s body. He always felt more confident and more able when he was drunk. He knew he was going to get him self stuck again if he didn’t stop drinking then. The thoughts of touching his best friend were in his mind again, and he didn’t want to mess up again. He finished his shot and stood up quickly.

“I’ve…. I’ve got to… go. I forget…. I um...” He stumbled on the words as he stumbled to the door.

Tyler and JC both sat on the bed and looked at him a little confused. He was fine a few seconds ago, now he was rambling on like a lost child.

“Jus, are you alright?” JC asked taking his shot and sitting the bottle on the night stand.

“Fine… fine… yes.” Justin closed his eyes as JC started to walk towards him.

Justin opened the door and went to his hotel room. JC turned and looked at his brother confusing in his eyes. “Uh…”

“Go man.” Tyler cut JC off as he took his shot and sat the shot glass on the night stand. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He added with a wink as JC rolled his eyes walking out the hotel room.

JC walked briskly to Justin’s door, he knocked rapidly on the door until a drunk Justin pulled open the door. JC pushed him aside and walked into the hotel room. Leaving Justin to stare as his bare back, he was only wearing a pair of shorts.

“Care to tell me what that was about?” JC mumbled out as he sat down on the bed.

Justin looked at JC for a few seconds before he got back into his bed. He was wearing just his boxer briefs. Justin sighed and closed his eyes.

“Nothing… I … uh… I was supposed… to you know… Britney…” Justin trailed off rubbing his hand across his chest trying hard not to stare at JC.

JC rolled his eyes and moved up on the bed lying on his side, hand holding his head up. He looked at Justin for a few seconds as thoughts when they first started touring in Europe popped in his head. He and Justin always shared a hotel room; of course the hotel rooms they could afford at the time were ones with one bed. Justin once confessed to JC when he missed his family and loved ones; he felt the most comfort when they were sleeping next to each other.

Justin turned his head to the side and looked at JC. He sighed, “You don’t have to be here. Your brother hasn’t seen you in a while.” He finely got something human out of his mouth.

“I’m fine. He’ll hog the whole bed anyway. At least with you I get half the bed.” JC winked getting under the covers.

It took ever fiber in Justin not to attack JC then and there. “Whatever man...” Justin said a little harsh as he moved onto his side and turned off the lights, his heart pounding a mile a minute.

They did this all the time. Always, he didn’t understand why they got separate rooms one was always left empty. Normally Justin would be the one to go into JC’s hotel room. Justin closed his eyes tightly as JC slid his arm around his waist and pulled him in closer to his own hot body.

Justin could fell JC’s lips on the back of his neck, “You need to cheer up Jus.” JC commented keeping his hold on his young friend. “You’ve got the love of your life, be thankful.” He added rubbing his forehead against Justin’s neck.

“Jace…” Justin barely got out as he turned on the light and slowly turned around to face JC. “Stop, please.” He whispered against JC’s ear. “I don’t have the love of my life. Not yet.” He added looking him square in the eye.

“She is still coming out, and I’ve heard you two confess your undying love for each other.” JC commented flipping on to his back scratching his stomach.

Justin slowly bit his lower lip watch the action in front of him. He could feel him self start to wake at the thoughts going through his head. Justin moved on to his stomach and growled into the pillow causing JC to jump slightly.

“I don’t love her!” Justin admitted finely to his best friend. “I’m breaking up with her.” He added his head on the pillow watching JC’s every move. “And before you ask why I haven’t told you. I haven’t told anyone. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I don’t want her in my life like that, as a friend yes as a lover no. I want someone else in my life.” Justin breathed out turning his gaze away from JC.

He wasn’t sure where these words were coming from he thought of all this before, but never had the guts to say it out loud. He needed to stop drinking to the point where he felt he could tell the world his secret. Only his mother knew, not even his best friends.

“You’ll get what you want one day Jus… one day you’ll get it.” JC gave a half grin before shoving Justin almost all the way off the bed. “Now scoot over; you are worse than Ty right now.” He added causing Justin to roll his eyes and shove him back.

“I may be worse than Tyler, but I’m sexier.” Justin moved his eye brows up and down just before JC put him in a slight head lock. “You can’t do this… I’m the sexy Justin Timberlake!” He laughed running his hand around JC and stopping just above his ass.

“I’m sexier than you. I’ve seen the way you look at me when I’m changing.” JC winked letting Justin fall to the bed before he him self laid back down.

“I… I don’t stare…” Justin coughed now nervous, had he been that obvious, he tired not to stare.

“No man can resist the Chasez charm.” JC smiled elbowing Justin in the side.

Justin wasn’t sure if JC knew how true that was. He was trying so very hard not to jump him right there, but every little touch and joke JC made, tore his resistance thinner and thinner. He wasn’t sure if he could hold him self back, he knew he would be able to if he wasn’t so fucked up but he was drunk, and he wanted JC badly.

Justin sighed softly and turned off the light on his side of the bed. He was trying his hardest not to jump his straight best friend then and there. He was used to JC touching him the way he did. It wasn’t uncommon they were a very close pair of friends, when he told his mother he was gay, she thought he was already hooked up with JC. It shocked her very much when Justin told Lynn JC wasn’t gay, they were just close like that.

Justin let out a pent up breath and turned over, he grabbed the leg JC had against Justin’s leg and smashed his lips against JC’s. His hand let go of his leg and ran up it, over his thigh over his ass and up his back. Justin let go of JC after a few seconds of kissing him.

“STOP FUCKING WITH ME!” He shouted getting out of the bed and pulling on the pants he was wearing that night. He left the hotel room leaving a stunned JC in the bed.