My name is Tracy and my husband's name is Mark. After dating for two and a half years, we were married on Valentine's Day 2001. We decided we wanted to start a family right away. On April 9, 2001 we found out we were pregnant. No two people could have been happier. The next day I called my OB/GYN's office to schedule my first prenatal visit. I went in on April 11th for a confirmation pregnancy test and was given my prenatal vitamins. My husband and I were so excited we told all of our friends and family. My first "baby visit" was scheduled for June 7th. On Mother's Day I started having some light spotting. I was very scared that something was wrong so my husband took me to the emergency room. They did a transvaginal ultrasound and examined me. They said everything looked fine and told me to go home and get plenty of rest. On June 7th I went in to my OB's office and they did all the usual tests, including a pap smear, and an ultrasound. I got my first pictures of the baby that day. Everything seemed to be going well. My next appointment was scheduled for June 22nd. On the 22nd we went in and heard the heartbeat for the first time. The baby's heartbeat was good and strong. My OB then told us that my pap smear came back abnormal and that we needed to do a biopsy. They took a biopsy of my cervix and told me that they'd call me when they got the results. On June 28th my OB called and said the results showed adenocarcinoma of the cervix (cancer). My next visit was scheduled for July 12th. On the 12th we went in for a second ultrasound (the baby looked great) and to discuss the results of the biopsy. My OB said he was referring me to an Oncologist. On July 19th we went in for our first visit with the Oncologist. He examined my cervix with a special microscope and went over the results with us again. He told us we needed to do a Cold Knife Cone Biopsy to see exactly how advanced the cancer was and if it had penetrated the walls of my cervix. He said there was only a 5% chance of pregnancy loss. We scheduled the Cone Biopsy for July 31st. On July 30th we went back to my OB's office. We heard the baby's heartbeat again (good and strong) and we discussed the procedure that was to take place the next day. I was very worried about losing the baby. He assured me that the Cone Biopsy was the best course of action to take and that it was very rare for women to lose their babies because of this procedure. They would use general anesthesia, remove a small piece of my cervix in the shape of a cone, and I would go home the same day. On the 31st they did the Cone Biopsy and sent me home for complete bedrest. The doctor told my family that the procedure went well and that they had stitched my cervix to the vaginal wall to keep it from collapsing. On August 2nd my Oncologists assistant called and said he wanted me to come in on the 6th with my family for the results of the Cone Biopsy. When I heard this all I could do was cry and scream "NO!". I just knew it was going to be bad news. On the same day (August 2nd), we went to my OB's office for a scheduled ultrasound to make sure the baby was doing okay. The baby looked great, had a great heartbeat, and was waiving to us on the screen. After having the ultrasound I felt like my baby was going to be okay. On August 6th we went to my Oncologists office to hear the results. We were the last appointment of the day and they waited until all of the other patients were gone to bring us back to talk to the doctor. I started to feel terrified of the results. My Oncologist confirmed our worst fears. The cancer had spread beyond the walls of my cervix and was life-threatening. He told us we needed to terminate the pregnancy and do a radical hysterectomy. A radical differs from a normal hysterectomy because they take out tissue around the bladder and remove the lymph nodes as well as everything else. He gave us the option to get other opinions. We obviously did not want to end this pregnancy. We gave the results to three pathologists and two other doctors and they all agreed with my Oncologist. We scheduled the surgery for August 28th. This was all very hard to accept so we decided to see a perinatal bereavement counselor to try to come to terms with what we were facing. She told us we could hold our baby, and discussed with us things we could do to create memories. On August 15th my mucous plug broke and we went to see my Oncologist. (My OB had released me from his care due to the cancer....he could no longer help me.) My Oncologist confirmed that the mucous plug broke and told me I was leaking amniotic fluid. He sent me home and said to call if I developed a fever or started having contractions. That night I became violently ill and had a fever so we called his office. They prescribed Compazine and I started feeling better. All day the next day (August 16th), I felt fine. On Friday, August 17th at about 1:30 pm, I started having what I thought were horrible "cramps". We called my doctor's office and told them and they said not to worry and to call back if I had a fever or started spotting. I called my husband and told him to come home from work - I knew something wasn't right. When my husband got home I had a fever so my mom called my doctor's office again. They still said not to worry and to call back if I started spotting. My husband started paying attention to my "cramps" and realized they were coming every two minutes. My Oncologists office STILL said not to worry and pretty much blew us off when we called them. We decided to call my OB's office even though I was no longer under his care. We called him at about 6:00 pm and told him what was going on. He knew I was in labor. Things seemed to be happening very fast. I felt the baby slip down into the birth canal and suddenly I was very worried that I was going to have my baby at home without any medical attention. My mom called 911 and my OB agreed to meet us at the hospital. We got to the hospital at 7:45 pm and they immediately took me up to Labor & Delivery. One of the things I remember most is when the nurse went to put the fetal monitors on me and my doctor said, "This is not a viable pregnancy". All I could do was cry. I just didn't want to say goodbye - not yet, not ever. They gave me Demerol and Phenegran in my IV and it was time to push. At 8:29 pm, I delivered a beautiful baby girl. She was born sleeping. She weighed 7 ounces and was 8 and a half inches long. We held her off and on all night and the next morning. I was released around noon and went home not knowing what to do with myself. I felt so many emotions. When you have a baby you're not supposed to come home with empty arms. The hospital staff was great. They sent us home with a "birth certificate", the measuring tape they used to see how long she was, her footprints, her blankets, and the dress and hat she wore for her pictures. We received the pictures the hospital took about two weeks later. We also have the ones we took. To be so tiny, she was so perfect. She had my nose and her father's lips. Every month on the 17th, we have released pink balloons at 8:29 pm and will continue to do that for the first year and for every birthday thereafter. We never knew anything could hurt this much.
My surgery was put off until September 25th due to an infection I developed from the delivery. I am now cancer-free. We think about our "Little Belle" every day and we know that Jesus rocks her to sleep for us every night. Until we can hold her again in our arms, we'll continue to hold her in our hearts. |
