My name is Nicholas Acklin, I was born in Huntsville, Alabama in 1971. I graduated from J.O. Johnson High School in 1990. I am the father of two lovely daughters. Currently I am on Alabama’s death row.

I am not facing the biggest challenge in my life, which is, “fighting for my life”. My time here on death row, has brought me both positive and negative changes, my life is now an every day struggle to hold onto hope and to survive the many challenges that stand before me.

When I first arrived on death row, I felt abandoned and hopeless, never in my life did I expect to find myself in such a situation. I had difficulty understanding legal terms and also the process of death penalty appeals. I sat up many nights, tossing and turning, trying to find sleep in such a strange place, I still after two years find it very hard to sleep with the question of m “will I ever see my freedom again or will I see my own death in Alabama’s electric chair.

I expect to be surrounded by the most heartless killer and to be spending most of my time having to protect myself, these things I have now found to be untrue. Guys approached me with concerns of how I was taking it and how I was holding up. I have found friends here on death row, whom I now consider as family to me. I have found that making friends here on death row also has it’s downside.

The first execution night I experienced here was terrifying, unforgettable. I didn’t know the guy, but did meet him during family visits. I had been told that an execution was scheduled but didn’t know for whom. That day during visits I couldn’t help but notice the sounds of crying coming from a nearby table, at that moment I knew, it was him who was looking at death in the eyes by electrocution. I was hurting inside for this man I didn’t even know. At that point I also realized that one day it could be me and my family saying goodbyes and shedding tears of heartache.

The night of his execution I didn’t know what to expect, I couldn’t sleep, as much as I wanted to. I paced my cell, looking out my window, down to where I knew he would have his life taken. The minutes leading up to his execution, the sound of the cell doors banging rang out. I was frightened, but realized the reason why. As those minutes began to expire, all I could think of was that man in the electric chair and what he was experiencing. There have been four executions since then, but the one that remains, is the loss of my good friend known as “Snow”. I only knew him for a short time, but his character will always be with me. He greeted me every morning with “hello” or “what’s up?”. We lifted weights and played basketball together.

When I got the news that an execution date had been set for him, me heart dropped, I knew that I might have to say goodbye to a good friend. I couldn’t find the words to say as mush as I’d have like to help lift the burden.

The night of his execution I shook my cell door with fury, the tears streamed down my face. I knew he could hear as he sat in that electric chair, all the goodbyes from all those he knew and called friend. He was the first friend I lost and his memory will always remain.

A lot of my thoughts are on my daughters, I often wonder how they are. They were just babies when I was taken away from them. I have memories of spending time with them at the park and their favorite places, Chuck E Cheeses. Although they will always be babies to me, they have grown and now ask when their Daddy is coming home. I hurt for them and hurt to be able to show them the love a father desires to show his children. I’ve missed precious years of their lives. I always dreamed of being there for their first day at school, but those moments have passed me by. I see them often and speak to them on the phone, during those moments, I’ve thought of having to say goodbye to them, that thought is unbearable. Their love for me gives me so much strength, the strength to fight for my life, without them it would not be possible. Though the miles and razor wire separate us, the power of love cannot be restrained.

I have at times found voids in my life, I look for a place where I can belong. I have found pen friends that fill those voids. I have found people who do not judge me for where I am, but see me for who I am. I have developed friendships that I never could have imagined. I have never thought that writing to a person you never met, could develop into such strong friendships. I have made friends whom you would think I have known for my entire life. When times get hard, it’s good to know that there are people who you can depend on, I see that as the advantage of being on death row. I know that I will never be alone.

Realities have come to light for me during me time here, I have had many disappointments due to my Appeals being turned down, it’s a terrible feeling and at those moments you lose hope in what our Justice system will do. I was raised to beleive that our Justice system works, but my eyes have now been opened to the truths behind it. I have never been big on Politics, but now being here, I know what part it is playing in my life. I cannot find justice for myself when my destiny is determined by those who seek gain politically for their careers. We have politicians who base their career opportunities on capital punishment, they feel it is what the people want. I will never get fair treatment when it comes to a decision on my life based on politicians careers. If the people suddenly oppose the death penalty, I wonder then what the politicians would do ? I know if it came to their careers they would change sides, so how can I get a fair shake ? If frustrates me that our legal system is carried out this way, it is immoral and biased, this is what I see to be true. I’ve learned not to take things on face value, but to look at what lies beyond.

It is my hope that many others who live in these communities, who elect these people Into Office, will start to do the same. I know when these truths come to light, our Justice system will have no option other than to clean things up. The people have the voice to stand up and to make a difference, if they don't then our children and generations to come will fall victim to these injustices. Some will one day face the things which I am facing today.

Being here on death row has moved me to become more involved in the fight to have the death penalty abolished. I refuse to SIt and watch my life and the lives of those around me expire. anything I can say or do, I am most willing, because not only does this effect me, it effects my children and the children of America. I Must put forth effort along with others to educate the communities regarding the death penalty. I am proud to be a part of "Project Hope" to abolish the death penalty? I will continue to contribute to it's efforts. I have never been as serious about anything in my life, perhaps because it can save my lifes but also because I know it is wrong, it is immoral.

I have written articles to voice my opinion, I also write poetry. I found the gift in writing poetry, this gift gives me a voice. I go deep into thought and I write as it as it comes to me. My latest poem came to me after a phone call to youngest daughter. I thought of how much she missed me and wanted me home. The words came as follows;"If only my freedom was to come in a day, I’d fall to my knees as I give God thanks. Though time has passed and seemed s0 long, the chains of bondage have broken and freedom has brought me home. I’d hold my children tight, not wanting to let go. The moment I dream of the moment that gives me hope, I'd show them the love I've longed to give, to see their happiness is why I strive to live. Just to be home and home to stay. If only my freedom was to come in a day." "Freedom" by Nicholas Acklin.

My spirituality has also be tested during my time on death row. I believe in God and I believe that Jesus died for my sins. My faith in God gives me the strength to take on all the obstacles that I may face along the way. I was close to God before my conviction, which helped me through. There was a time I felt abandoned but was given a reminder that He continues to be with me. I've been able to share with others and them with me. No after what I may face ahead, my faith in God will continue to stand. With that I have meaning and a sense of where I belong, with that I am content.

Here I sit Inmate Z-648.

My name seems not to matter anymore. It's not Important. I’m now in a world where a number is the sole means of recognition, labeled many things, but never the name I was given at birth. Like a number in the mix among others we are scrambled around, used, abandoned and mistreated. Snatched from a world where normal life was desired and appreciated. A world where love, caring, togetherness and friendship had meaning. Now the only thing that seems to have meaning, is self. Stuck in a dark world where the unexpected is always in mind. Where the fight to keep sanity is the hardest battle. Knowing that your death is being planned, while watching those around you walk the last walk to their death, and even then, walking as a number and not a name. Society has continuously painted a picture that you are a hard-core killer, the lowest of the low, and you deserve no sympathy. They fail to realize that you are someone’s son. Somewhere, you are loved and cared for, someone’s child. I too suffer heartaches and pain- I too need love and know how to give love in return. The capital punishment society is a liar that refuses to be proven wrong. Is there no place for forgiveness and reconciliation? Must I be put to death because of my mistakes?

Growing up knowing and being taught that we all learn from our mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance, has me asking where is my second chance? Knowing in my heart and my heart doesn’t lie, I have a sense of being. I am important, I am more than just a number. Being faced with a fight against time to save my life each day, and knowing that there are people wanting to take my life and not the time to save one, leaves me with little hope of what man will do for me. I am not alone.

As the clock strikes twelve, another life is gone never again to breathe, never again to live, to feel loved or give love in return. Just take a minute to think about it and let it set in. You've been snatched away from the world and put in a cage like a wild animal, but you have the sense to know what's going on. Knowing that you only have so long to live while your life rests in the hands of those who choose life or death. Your mind plays tricks on you, so you learn not to think, just be. The pain of knowing draws you close to the edge. There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide because reality always sets in and you're left thinking why? You try to see your way through, but there's no end and hope slowly fades away. No one to reach out to because there’s nothing they can do. It's out of reach and lies solely in the hands of those who judge. In a system where "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" is in control, there is little or no hope for your return. Money makes the world go round. In their minds they say, "why should I let this one go free and take a chance at losing my position"? The one who pays the salary will always have his way, and why not? Society has already labeled me the worst thing living, and condemned me to die. If right is right and wrong is wrong; then it works both ways. Now think about it. Do I still have a chance, with so much working against me? They laugh in my face when I speak of living and being free because they would rather take a life than save one. Forget Me Not!

Nicholas Acklin
NUMBER WITHHELD!

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In recent weeks the state of Alabama's legislature has been in session. A main focus of this session is changing the method that the state of Alabama uses to execute its death row inmates. Some legislators say it is time Alabama comes into compliance with other states that have switched from electrocution to lethal injection Saying "it is a more humane way of executing the states death row inmates. " The state's legislature has also realized the risk of the slate of Alabama being left without a method of execution should the U.S. Supreme Court rule the electric chair unconstitutional. This has left some wondering what's the real reason for the sudden urge to change.

Alabama, is one of two states whose sole means of executing prisoners is by electrocution. Arguments have been raised in the past concerning the state's method of execution, questioning whether it's a humane way to execute a death row inmate. The state's electric chair has not been challenged for its constitutionality since the state Supreme Courts of Florida & Georgia ruled it unconstitional. Some legislators have argued that the change would be a more humane way to execute inmates and easier for Judges and juries to hand down death sentences. Other legislators have argued strongly that the method of execution should not be the issue but the death penalty itself. These legislators have pushed for a two year moratorium to halt all executions in the state of Alabama, while the system is checked for fairness.

The issue of lethal injection being more humane is not what should be argued, rather any legalized murder at the hands of the state of Alabama. The bill that is being proposed by the legislature would give death row inmates file choice other than injection or the electric chair. Having an inmate choose how he wants the state to murder him is as inhumane and barbaric as strapping him in the electric chair. Murder is murder no matter how it's done; and being told you have to chose or "We'll choose for you", just adds to the barbarism of the "contract killers" the state is making themselves out to be. What living, breathing creature would be able to choose how they want to die? The only way "humane" can be associated with the death penalty is in abolishing the death penalty itself.

Before the state of Alabama became aware that it could be left without any means of execution, the politician's who supported the death penalty spoke openly fiat the death penalty and the state's electric chair is what the citizens of Alabama want. Now that the stale could be without a method of execution should the U S. Supreme Court to rule it unconstitutional. Politician's now want to change. Politics is what matters here not the death penalty or the state's methods. The state of Alabama has asked the Supreme Court for execution dates for two of its death row inmates, but the liklihood of them granting any dates are nil, due to the threat of the U.S. Supreme Court finding the chair unconstitutional. Instead, it seems the state will push to bring lethal injection in to assure their "Legalized contract killing" is carried out.

Should lethal injection be passed, the killing spree will begin as well as the negative ripple affect. If lethal injection is passed. Juries and judges will be more likely to hand down death sentences to defendants. This will lead to more inmates being sent to death row and more money spent to send them to their deaths. The state will eventually turn to murdering two or more inmates at a time like the state of Texas. With such a killing spree going on, the chance of innocent life being taken increases. Who will stand to gain? The politicians who base their careers on the death penalty. Also, the prison system that houses the inmates. It's big money and everyone wants a hand in it. The only ones who lose are the inmates, their families, and the victims families who want justice; but who in turn get used in the “money machine" known as the death penalty. It doesn't matter to the state of Alabama, how they kill, but that they kill.

It is humane to let an inmate live, it is just plain politics to let an inmate die!