TONY THE TIGER DEBATE

Well spank me with a stick and call me fetish. i truly am the angriest person ever. and why, do you ask? well, it's all about tony the tiger. Nevermind Sonic The Hedgehog or his fat italian plumber equivalent, Mr Tony is possibly the worst, gyppo-est fucker of a mascot that has ever been- and I include Michael Jackson and his pepsi ads in this esteemed category.

You see, the reason that  don't like him is simple- he is a gay influence. I am not a homophobe, but I just have a PROBLEM with this particular mascot on the whole. It just seems that the whole company is in a major conspiracy, or some bollocks 'Mulder' theory about taking over the world. anyway, shut up and listen to my argument.

1).    HE WEARS A RED FLANNEL AROUND HIS NECK. Now this is a rather big, stereotypical giveaway on what the company wishes to portray as his sexuality. Now I know that not all gay people go around with flannels around their necks, but companies exploit stereotypes for the sole reason of showing what they mean to the dumb public. The public has no time for character, the bastardo public only wants sensationalism, sound bites and entertainment. What i'm trying to say is that when you think of certain people, certain tendencies tend to  pop up. Gay people: red flannels. Welsh people: sheep shagging*. Irish people: big dumb fuckers. There you are. My view on what the company wishes to portray.

2)    HE WANTS TO 'BRING OUT THE TIGER IN YOU'. How gay can you get? I mean, he want's to bring out the tiger in me! If he tries, i'll tell him to fuck off. I'm not interested in any S & M stuff, and neither should YOU.

3)    HIS ADVERTS....... ok, adverts full of little kids.......... ever wonder what he gets up to in the lunch hour et al? I know this is weird but haven't you ever wondered? we all know the rhyme:
'a bag of sweets, a cheesy smile, the fucker's a bloody paedophile.............'

4) THAT VOICE not exactly 'Jones the voice', is he? those stereotypical, ad-libbed Grrrrrs only go to prove my point, that he is probably gay.

6)If you wish to tell me a reason why Tony The Tiger is a criminal, please tell us. NOW.

*If you are Welsh and you read this comment, don't despair. i am Welsh, too. I am just poking fun at stereotypes. If anyone else is after sympathy, go fuck a chicken.