I'm a heartless bitch!


The top 5 bestest women in the whole wide world are...
1. Jo Brand 2. Mo Mowlam 3. Mary Ann Thorpe 4. Skin 5. Madonna
...and there's NO ARGUING over it!
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She's big and fat and loud, eats too much, hates men, spends her whole life bitching and has an obsession with red lipstick. Hmm reminds me of someone I know.

"The assumption that she ain't too bright doesn't, of course, stop a testosterone onslaught. Men slime up to her frequently, pinch her, rub up against her on the Underground, murmur things about her frontage, make suggestions about sex to her. Need I go on? Let's just say she very rarely gets asked by strangers what the correct pressure for the front tyres on a Bedford Rascal should be, or the equation for converting Fahrenheit into centigrade. I'd rather have a load of abuse, myself (just as well), than win rosettes from the sort of men who believe their approving eyes are essential contributions to the lives of women."

This was taken from the independent's website, where Jo has a column, which she has now stopped updating.

Complaint Category - Taste and decency. In this comedy special, the comic Jo Brand presented her irreverent views about Christmas. Eight viewers complained about the opening sketch in which Jo Brand, dressed up as Father Christmas, opened her sack to reveal three Yorkshire Terrier puppies. She then threw the sack into the river. It was clear to the ITC that the sketch set out to establish the comic tone of the programme, which was to challenge conventional views of Christmas-time and its icons, including Father Christmas. The ITC did not consider that anyone familiar with Jo Brand's particular type of 'alternative' humour would be likely to have been offended by the sketch, nor be prompted to emulate it. Clearly, no harm had come to the animals filmed.

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Also big and fat and loud, but this time bald as well, and used to spend her time swearing at the less manly MPs and bitching about the Queen.

Taken from www.bbc.co.uk

Member of Parliament in the United Kingdom, Former British Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, and Formerly Minister for the Cabinet Office before recently announcing resignation.

Although Mowlam didn't think that her approach was different because she was a woman, it was seen as very distinct from that of the previous Secretary for Northern Ireland, Patrick Mayhew of the Conservative Party. The impression Mowlam gave was of someone with the common touch. She seemed to embrace everyone she met and to treat all people equally. At the same time, she was also very tough.

"I brought a very different character from the characters that had been there before and I think it was probably more my character, my directness, my honesty, my saying as I see it which probably was as important to what I brought to the process as my gender. But there's no doubt that my gender helped in some situations but in others it was a handicap ... some of the men didn't like women in positions of power."

Just before her appointment as Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, her appearance had suddenly changed. She put on a lot of weight and lost hair. She was suffering from a benign brain tumour and had to undergo radiotherapy and steroid treatment. Mowlam thinks this has increased her "tough" appearance. She believes that women can be just as tough as men but that this is not the most important quality they should possess.

"I think you can be tough and female. I probably look tougher than I am because ever since my benign brain tumour I lost a lot of hair - it's come back but not as much as I would like. Some days I think I look like an out of work American football player! - so I'm a bit kind of stocky and I think that makes me look tough. But toughness, determination and courage are always important in politics. But for women the main thing I think is about confidence, if you are confident and act confidently you can do it, whatever it is you want to do, confidence is the key."

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I just love this character in the sitcom Cybill, I plan on being just like her when I reach 40. She's a piss-head, pyrotechnics expert who got screwed over by her ex husband and now lives of 70% of his earnings; that clever bitch.

Miss Baranski won an Emmy for playing the Martini-swigging, ex-husband hating Maryann Thorpe. Some of my favourite Maryann moments are ..

The episode where she looses all her money coz she was duped by a lawyer and she ends up in Cybill's house waffling on incoherently. Zoe asks her if she wants a blanket or a pillow and she just says something in Swahili, then she asks if she wants a Martini. Maryann goes all straight faced, says 'make it a double' in that scary evil bitch voice she does, and then goes back to the Swahili.

In the same episode, Maryann has to find a job because she's poor, and ends up getting employed by the secret government of Iraq or something to work as a spy, and she says 'My new name is ~something foreign~..I don't know what it means but it comes with a tiara'.

Telling Cybill she welded Dr. Dick's harp to the bonnet of his porche.

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Lead singer of rock band Skunk Anansie. There is just no way a bald black gay woman screaming, 'yes it's fucking political' cannot be cool! She is the epitome of controversy, and manages to look pretty damn clever while she's doing it. She also sings like an angel, and she does say the coolest things...


"...What does annoy me is people who say bands should be apolitical and that music and politics don't work. Our reaction to that is that we write the songs how we want to write them and how dare some fucking fat-arsed, fucking liberal, bloated, middle-class journalist tell us what we should write about…."

"Unfortunately most rock bands are male. I think there's too much testosterone there. We're really glad that we've got such a mixed audience."

"As a black lesbian, I'm hardly the girl next door, more like the living nightmare of every conservative suburban house owner with a neat little garden. I really don't care. If they don't like me, fine. I can live with it and I don't force myself on them, but I refuse to shut up and I can't imagine anybody who could shut me up."

Ace, guitarist, says "Skin has a great way of persuading us to get things done: She just starts screaming, "You lazy bastards, get off your asses and do something!" Believe me when she starts screaming she can scream down walls and she really doesn't mince words. "

"Skin is just the loudest one and that mouth she has on her, that's really something...."

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Did you know Madonna is bisexual? Why do you think she fell out with Courtney Love? The image of a girl going into a strip club is a very inspiring one for me; along with the Prodigy video "Smack My Bitch Up"; something to do with living in a man's world blah blah... But someone as mainstream as Madonna doing it without anyone blinking an eye, well that's just cool.

"People associate a girl who’s successful with being a bimbo or an airhead. Sexy boys never get bad press."

"I felt like I was camping outside in the wilderness for seven years. I never had any money and I never had any help. Dealing with all that and having to struggle to survive has made me into the bitch that most people think I am."

"I worked my butt off before I got where I got and literally starved and lived off the street and ate out of garbage cans before any of this happened."

"You got paid 10 dollars an hour (for posing nude). It was a dollar fifity at Burger King. I kept saying, ‘It’s for Art."

"I had a traditional Catholic upbringing, and I saw the privileges my older brothers had. They got to stay out late, go to concerts, play in the neighborhood. I was left out. Then, when I was dancing, most of the men were homosexuals, so I was left out again. Somewhere deep down inside of me is a frustrated little boy."

"Madonna acts like a porn queen on heat." Leading American churchwoman Margaret Scott

"Madonna doesn't care if she ruffles someone's feathers." Steve Bray, former boyfriend.


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