A mullet, also known as a short-long is a haircut that went out of style in about 1985... yet people still have them. It's one of my obsessions to spot them.
- "What's all this water on the floor?"
- They offer CRITICIZING at university!
- What really is in Spam? And do we really want to find out?
- If Woodchucks became unionized, could they chuck more wood/
- If Woodchucks became unionized, would gophers revert to Socialism?
- Why are there never enough nude mice?
- Why does it hurt when I do this?
FUN THINGS TO TRY
- For a day, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bruce". Demand that they speak with an Australian accent.
- Use the phrase ape-shit and Skull-fuck more than one would expect. Use it as various parts of speech.
- Without saying anything, knowingly remove your sock. Fit over your ear. Smile warmly and wave.
- Stare at your palm. Repeat loudly : "I think it's changing!" Become adament.
- At the zoo, see how many people you can get to play "Name that feces".
- When playing scrabble, gradually eat all the vowels.
- Use toothpaste for all hygiene purposes.
- Use your roommate's deodorant. As a popsicle.
- Frequently become uncontrolably irate at the sight of toast.
