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There he was. From a distance I could see him. Sunlight reflected from his glossy coat of silver and black stripes. With muscular grace he strode effortlessly, gliding over the ground on his junkyard patrol. Alone. His lively golden eyes, like light from Heaviside, roved over the junkyard grounds with a trained expertise, missing nothing, taking in every detail. Under his sleek coat muscles rippled as he moved with liquid elegance.

Munkustrap: tall, strong, handsome protector of the Jellicle tribe. Since I was born into this tribe as a kitten I watched him grow to a tom. Watched. Admired. Since that first day, that first moment I laid eyes on him, I knew I had found the one I loved. It wasn't just his looks, but everything about him! My heart knew no other. Munkustrap was everything to me, and I would have given anything to know if he felt the same.

He did not.

I loved Munkustrap with all my heart, but it was a one-sided romance. When he looked at me, my heart overflowed with such happiness mere words couldn't describe it. But then he looked away...and everything was the same to him. He cared for me, I'm sure, but only as an acquaintance. He looked at me no different than the other queens of the Jellicle tribe.

But then I suppose he had no reason to notice me. I was by far not as pretty as some of the other queens, like Bombalurina. Her fur was a sensuously fiery red, her figure perfect, which could catch and keep any tom's eye. Any tom except Munkustrap. My fur was a dull, plain brendel, a majority of dark brown speckled throughout all over with ginger flecks. My front right paw was white. Nor was I as gifted as the other cats. Like Tantomile. She could sense things before they happened, and Munkustrap looked to her eagerly for advice in times of trouble. Nor was I as smart as some of the queens, like Rumpleteazer, who thought up clever schemes with her partner in crime. Munkustrap kept his eye on her. It may have been negative, but I wished he paid me that much attention. I loved him, but only on my own.

Munkustrap rarely spoke to me, and when he did I treasured each word. To Munkustrap I was just another queen. But the love I felt for him was so strong...I knew that if he could just know how I felt about him the feeling would be returned. I just knew it.

Which was why I watched him now, concealed among the garbage of the junkyard as he patrolled the perimeter alone. My eyes never lifted from his image, afraid to blink should I miss a single moment. My claws unsheathed in anticipation as he neared my hiding spot. I waited. One...two...three...

As gracefully as I could manage, I leaped from my spot to land in his path. He halted. I looked up. My eyes filled with awe as his golden stare went wide with surprise.

"Munkustrap!" I gasped quietly, genuinely.

"Hey," he said, smiling ever so slightly. "I didn't hear you coming."

"I...I didn't see you." I must have sounded a fool, but one can only imagine how I felt when he spoke to me. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He nodded his head. "Wanna walk with me?"

Forever, I thought, but simply nodded.

So we walked. Shoulder to shoulder. It's impossible to describe what I felt, strolling by his side. My shoulder brushed his, and for a moment he turned to look at me. He smiled. I smiled back. For one long, delicious second in time our eyes met. For that precious second my mind wandered, and I could almost feel my paws running through his fur; I could almost see the sparkly recognition of love in his deep golden eyes; I could almost feel his breath on my whiskers...almost.

Then he looked away, attention drawn by something else. My heart sank as we arrived at the end of my walk through paradise. We were no longer alone. The other Jellicles lounged among the junkyard, carefree and listless, and regarded Munkustrap with respectful nods. I froze in my tracks as a golden queen came bounding toward my hero. Munkustrap ran to meet her.

I can't deny it: I was jealous of Demeter. The way Munkustrap looked at her stabbed my heart, and I imagined I wanted nothing more than to kill her with my bare claws. But my mother had raised me differently. I wasn't taught to hate. I was taught to love. After consulting myself for awhile, I had the thought that Munkustrap only saw her as someone he should protect more than the others. I thought it was because of her frailness. She was an ill queen with a weak body, and Munkustrap was taught to protect. That was why he looked at her, or so I told myself. I had once pretended to walk with a limp, and it had indeed caught Munkustrap's eye, though not for long.

But at that moment, after dreaming myself into such a state that morning, the sight of them together I couldn't bear. I turned and ran. I didn't cry; by now I was used to this kind of hurt. Mother had always said it was wrong to cry for such a selfish reason, and she also said it was wrong to feel lust for a tom. But this wasn't lust. It was love. For a moment I stopped to perch on a tire, looking up at the setting sun. The sky was colored a beautiful golden-orange with cream-colored clouds drifting lazily over the fiery orange orb of sun as it sank below the junkyard horizon. Such beauty, I thought. I wished I could reach out and grab a pawful of the gold sky and rub it into my fur so that it would shine like the sun off of water. I took a deep breath, breathing in the cool sweetness of the evening, watching the sky as it darkened to blue, then purple, and finally to black. The stars twinkled merrily from their posts: sentinels of the night. Those were the stars I saw in Munkustrap's eyes.

Sometimes I would lay in the junkyard at night, or wander the cities, and imagine myself strolling next to him as we did earlier. His arm would be wrapped affectionately around my shoulders, and I would snuggle close. I liked the night, not only as the cat I was, but it was a time when I could think and fantasize and live inside my own world. No one could bother me. Looking up, I smiled as I imagined the stars were Munkustrap's eyes watching me from afar. I waved up at him, then danced the dance I saved only for him.

I completed my dance, breathing heavily from the excitement. The warmth I felt about me I was sure was Munkustrap's, and with a shout of joy I whirled to throw myself into his arms, only he wasn't there. The hurt came again. All this fantasy...it was only in my mind. It wasn't real, no matter how much I wanted it to be, and I had to accept that. But I didn't want to...I couldn't. Munkustrap just had to have feelings for me. He had to! I was sure they were there, buried inside him, they just needed help to surface.

That was when I made up my mind. I loved Munkustrap deeply, but I had never shown or even told him. That was the problem. Tomorrow-no, the next time I saw him-no, right now I was going to search him out and tell him everything. Then he would love me as much as I did him. Eagerly I leaped to my paws, and halted. My heart did flips as from the shadows stepped the silver tabby of my dreams. He had been watching me!

"You're a good dancer," he said. I smiled, taking a few unsteady steps toward him.

"You liked it?"

He nodded. For a moment conversation was lost as I stood close to him, searching myself for the courage to say Munkustrap, I love you. But the words never left my mouth.

"Could you do me a favor?" he asked, his eyes on the ground. I wanted him to look up at me.

"Of course," I answered. I took a step even closer. Our paws brushed. My fantasies blossomed of things he could say.

"Would you deliver a message to Demeter for me?"

My smile quickly faded. He didn't seem to notice the droop in my voice. "What?"

"Could you tell her to meet me at the bridge? At midnight?"

I felt about ready to choke. "I will," I whispered. "Why can't you tell her?"

"I have to take care of something first," he purred. "Will you tell her for me?"

I could do nothing else but nod. He smiled, and gently reached out to squeeze my shoulder. I want to say that there was something behind that squeeze, something more meaningful than a silent 'thankyou'. I would like to say that this was his way of saying he felt the same. But I can't. There was nothing behind his gently smiling face except a shallow friendship; I was only an acquaintance. But even as he turned and padded away, I was determined he could be changed. No cat with feelings like mine can go unnoticed. He would find out...soon.

"I love you, Munkustrap," I said out loud, but only the nighttime silence heard me.

Sure enough, I delivered my message. Mother had taught me to be a cat of my word. Demeter had been preening through her fur with her friend Bombalurina when I stumbled upon them in the junkyard darkness. They regarded me with little concern.

"Hello," Demeter said casually, looking up from her tail licking. I didn't return the greeting.

"Munkustrap wants you to meet him," I said flatly, "at midnight. At the bridge."

Demeter looked at me questioningly, as though I was supposed to explain Munkustrap's intentions. And as I left the two friends to their chit-chatting, I began to wonder. What were his intentions? Surely Munkustrap was busied enough without having to meet in private with other cats for no reason...so why would he now? Curiosity runs deep in all cats, and mine was caught. As the moon reached the peak of its nightly climb, Demeter went padding off to the meeting spot. I trailed her not far behind.

Munkustrap was waiting there when she arrived, myself in close pursuit. Bathed in the moonlight, his face was eager and handsome as he ran to greet her. He grabbed her shoulders, and there was anxious conversation between them. The area around the bridge is wide and open, brightly lit by human streetlights, and the only closest place I could get to them and not be seen was a small dried bush a fair distance away. I could hear their voices, but not make out what they said. I could see them, however. As plain as day. Suddenly they both fell quiet, and with a gentle brush Munkustrap pushed a strand of fur from her face. He nuzzled her. She nuzzled him back.

I was crushed. How could he do this to me? Me, who had feelings for him Demeter nor any queen could ever match. But all I could do was watch, helpless and broken, as they ran together into the city.

This time I did cry. Tears streamed down my face as I dashed from my cover, not caring if they were to stop and see me or not. I just ran. If Munkustrap loved Demeter, then what was I to do? Where could I turn? Who could I go to? I was past desperate. I was heartbroken.

I've heard it said that love is a jealous harpy, just waiting to dive and attack its object of hate. I must have been thinking this as I approached Macavity's lair. What I was doing was wrong, but I didn't care. All I wanted was Munkustrap. I would do anything for him. Even this.

A mere conversation with Macavity is enough reason to have a Jellicle banished from the tribe, let alone making a deal with him. Still I didn't care. Even as I was brought before the criminal warlord I felt no fear or regret. I told him what I wanted, bluntly, and the mottled red tom seemed outright astonished that a cat would do this to a fellow Jellicle. I stood tall and proud, unashamed of my evil doings.

"You are a strange cat," Macavity finally said. "But an admirable one, indeed."

"I don't care," I said, wiping away the still-falling tears. "I want Demeter gone. I don't care how. I'll give you anything you want."

He nodded solemnly, but the grin that came was pure evil. "Consider it done."

The next evening found me back at the junkyard. I had been unable to sleep, and wandered in a trance-like state all day. I saw nothing of Munkustrap. But Demeter...sweet, innocent, frail Demeter...was radiant. I daresay beautiful. She approached me, smiling and friendly, but I scowled and bounded away. I didn't want to think about her and what lay in store or what I'd done. I wanted to think about Munkustrap. But I couldn't. My mind's eye was clouded with images of Demeter. Her golden fur, her green eyes, her and Munkustrap...together. My conscience began to catch up with me, and I felt like I was going mad.

Why couldn't Munkustrap see what I felt for him?!?! I radiated with love for him, yet whenever he was near me all he returned was a nod and grin. He was blind, that was it. But still, I could change him. There was a way for us to be together...for everything to be perfect. All that stood in the way was Demeter.

Night came. I walked alone through the junkyard as rain began to fall. I smiled slightly as I came across the blacktopped parking lot of the dump, the black asphalt shining like silver as it reflected the streetlights. I stepped through the formed puddles, watching the silvery lights ripple from the raindrops. How nice it would be to have Munkustrap here with me.

Life isn't fair, but then no one ever said it was. And it isn't. Just when you think happiness is in your grasp, it is ripped away by the horrified screams from over the ridge of garbage. You think your plan has succeeded when you suddenly realize how wrong it is and you dash headlong for it, knowing it is up to you to put things right...the cost being your every chance at happiness. The Jellicles would never forgive me for going this far. Especially Munkustrap. Still, I had to put things as they should be.

I didn't stop for breath as I reached the crest of the junk ridge, continuing on straight down the other side. It didn't take me a second to realize the situation. Macavity had stayed true to his word, and had gotten access to the junkyard after I assured him he would find Demeter alone that night. And she was alone...alone with Munkustrap.

In a flash of red he had her, his long claws tightening about her throat as he yanked her to her feet. His white fangs gleamed in the moonlight, baring dangerously close to her face. I wanted nothing more than to see those claws rip her flesh, those fangs tear her throat. Instead I fought to defend her.

A conscience is a terrible thing. I hated Demeter. I can say that without hesitance. I hated her with a passion, but my conscience was heavy with guilt and as Munkustrap climbed to his feet I attacked. Everything happened in slow motion.

Munkustrap leaped at Macavity as he raised his claws to bring down on Demeter. I reached them first. With a screech I knocked Demeter away. She fell into Munkustrap's arms. Macavity's claws continued down, slashing me from neck to torso. I collapsed. Munkustrap charged. Macavity turned tail and ran. The rain continued to fall.

It seems that when you finally get what you strive for all your life you are also seeing the gates of death open before you. I knew I was dying; the wounds were deep. But as I lay there Munkustrap crouched on his knees beside me, slipping his hands around my back and head to pull me onto his lap.

"I'm sorry," I coughed. "I'm so sorry."

Munkustrap didn't grasp what I meant. All the better, I suppose. He wiped rain from my forehead and spoke with gentle tenderness.

"It's alright," he said. "Hold on. You'll be fine. Let's get you out of the rain." I could dimly make out Demeter's form leaning behind him, but I paid her little attention. This was my moment in Munkustrap's eyes...my last chance to tell him. Icy claws gripped my heart.

"Don't worry. I don't mind," I gasped quietly. It was getting harder to breathe. "The rain washes away everything." His paw grasped mine, and I squeezed it against my cheek, savoring every touch. I looked up at him. "I love you, Munkustrap."

His face was blurred with distortion, but I imagine the expression he returned was understanding. I hoped it was. But when he leaned down and kissed me, a quiet "You too" passing his lips, my hopes were confirmed. The last sight before it was dark was of my beloved silver tabby, me wrapped in his warm embrace. I sighed. Once. And died.

The end