Dangerous When Wet
by Remma (morennab@yahoo.co.uk)
"Daniel, aren't you done yet?"
"Um...well, sort of."
"Sort of?"
"Yes."
"And that means..."
"It means I'm done...sort of."
"Daniel, have you, or have you not, translated the symbols on this device."
"I have."
"Then where does the 'sort of' come in?"
"I've translated the symbols, I still need to work out the context."
"The context, right, of course you do."
"I need to look at some of the other stuff we found, before I can be sure of what it does."
"So, what does it say?"
"Oh...uh...my best guess would be, 'dangerous when wet.'"
"Dangerous when wet? What the hell does that mean?"
"I have no idea."
"Maybe it comes from the planet of the gremlins."
"Very funny, Jack. I told you, I need to work out the context."
"Why don't we try dunking it in your coffee mug?"
"So, your first thought when I tell you it may be dangerous when wet, is to get it wet? And you've been a Colonel, how long, exactly?"
"Not a good idea?"
"I'm guessing not."
"So, now what?"
"Now I work out the context."
"Right. The context is important, then."
"Clearly."
"Dammit, how could it possibly be dangerous to get this itty bitty little thing damp? You think it's maybe a weapon?"
"Jack, I have no idea. For all I know it's an ice-cream maker."
"Alien ice-cream...that'd be cool. Hey, did you hear what I just said? Alien ice-cream would be..."
"Okay, I heard the first time."
"I thought it was funny. You know your trouble, you have no sense of humour."
"Jack, don't you have any work of your own to do? Reports to read, memo's to write...anything?"
"No, I'm done."
"Maybe Sam needs your help, or Teal'c."
"You know, if I didn't know how much you value my company, I might think you were trying to get rid of me."
"Oh, good lord. Was there any particular reason you came visiting, or was it just my lucky day?"
"It's time to leave, if we don't want to be late."
"Late for what?"
"Dinner. You've forgotten, haven't you?"
"Oh, did we have plans?"
"Yes."
"Then I have forgotten. Still, it's only dinner, right? It's not like it's a date or anything."
"Hell, no...like that would ever happen."
"Should we ask Sam and Teal'c if they..."
"They're busy."
"Oh, okay. Just you and me then."
"Not a problem, is it?"
"No, it's just been awhile since the two of us went anywhere together, alone that is."
"I know, I can't think why, I like spending time with you, Daniel."
"Oh, okay...good. What about all this stuff, though?"
"It's not going anyplace. Besides, all work and no play makes Danny a dull boy."
"I thought Jack was the dull boy."
"I changed it."
"Hmn."
"So, how about it?"
"I suppose it might be better to start fresh in the morning."
"There you go. A nice juicy steak, a good night's sleep, and you'll be all set to overwork tomorrow."
"Oh, why not. Might be fun. Besides, if we'd already arranged it..."
"Great. Grab your coat and let's go."
"Okay. Damn, where are my glasses?"
"Daniel."
"What? what's with the gesturing?"
"Your head, Daniel."
"What about...oh, I'll have to stop doing that, it's so stereotypical absent minded professory. Now, where's my jacket? I'm pretty sure that's not perched on my head."
"Over there, other side of your desk. Want me to get it for you?"
"I see it. I should be able to reach it if I lean over...no, have to bend further..."
"Mmmnnnm..."
"Jack, are you okay?"
"Uh-huh."
"You whimpered, and your really red."
"It's the heat in hear. Let's hope they get the air conditioning fixed soon."
"You can say that again. I am just so hot."
"Oh, yeah."
"Are you sure you're okay? You're looking somewhat...pensive"
"Oh...uhm...it's...ohm...it's that doohickey."
"Really, I didn't think you were all that interested in the artifacts we brought back, not unless they had the potential for mass destruction."
"Sure I'm interested. That thing's gonna be bugging me all night. I mean, how in hell can something that innocuous looking be dangerous if you, say, dropped it in a tub of water?"
"Like a toaster?"
"Good point. Hey,maybe it is a toaster."
"You never know, Jack, you never know."
***The End***
