Love and Other Disasters

by Remma (morennab@yahoo.co.uk)

Part 1

"Come on, Daniel, get this done already."

"Butt out Jack, before you make things worse."

"What, this mess is my fault?"

"Yes."

"How, exactly?"

"Did you have to be so adamant that Sam was not your woman. Sorry, Sam."

Sam smiled wryly, accepting that in their job, honesty wasn´t always the best policy, and much as she might hate the necessity, there were times when she had to compromise her principles due to her gender.

"It´s okay, Daniel, I may not like it, but…"

"Hey, you do realise that I´m standing right here, right? What´s with all the sympathy for Carter, huh? I´m a catch. Any woman would be lucky to get me. Right Carter, Teal´c?"

"Yes, Sir, of course they would."

"Indeed."

"Good, as long as that´s clear, what the hell else was I supposed to do when Gandalf started making insinuations about my relationship with one of my subordinates?"

"That would be Ganfeld, Jack, and since he´s the headman of the village, you might try showing him a little respect."

"Hey, I was respectful. I respectfully pointed out that I was not involved with my 2IC."

"The man is not an idiot…or deaf, Jack. He simply speaks a different language. Thus, speaking slowly and loudly is not respectful, but is, in fact, intensely condescending."

"He got the point, didn´t he?"

"Unfortunately, yes. The words may have been beyond him, but gestures appear to be universal, and the ones you were making were quite explicit. Hence, this mess is all your fault."

"Is not."

"Is so. You need to at least try to understand their culture. It´s simply not acceptable for a woman to be wandering around unattached, and in their eyes, unprotected."

"If it´s such a big deal, why can´t you say she´s your woman…or Teal´c´s?"

"Wouldn´t work. They would never accept that you would allow someone under your command to have a woman if you didn´t have one of your own. They would assume you would simply take her for yourself. Social standing and the trappings of power mean a lot to them."

"Isn´t there anything you can do to stop this…this…" Sam waved a hand at the haggling men, lost for words.

"Cattle market?"

Sam squirmed, acutely embarrassed by the awkward situation. "I was going to say bidding war. God, this is so humiliating."

"It must be. I´m sorry Sam. I´m doing the best I can. You know, this is actually quite flattering. Tyron has just offered four horses, two carts, six yaks, twelve chickens and a really pretty rug. I gather from Ganfeld that such an offer is unprecedented."

"Chickens; there are always chickens."

"Jack, please."

"Oh, for crying out loud, I mean, don´t these people have any women of they´re own?"

"Not like Sam, no."

"What, theirs have two heads?"

"Jack…take a look around, okay? The colour of Sam´s hair and eyes alone would be enough to set her apart and…and, god, her whole attitude is diametrically opposite to the kind of behaviour they would expect from a woman. Taken all together, that would make her the ultimate trophy wife."

"I agree. MajorCarter is clearly a superior female. She would without doubt be a prize for any fortunate enough to win her favour."

Sam smiled weakly at Teal´c, gratified by his support in such an uncomfortable situation.

"Okay, so Carter´s a hot item. I still don´t see why…"

"Jack, shut up. I´ve got an idea."

Jack moved away, grumbling to himself, all the while casting glowering looks at Daniel´s back as he once again launched into a halting conversation with the village elders. His exasperation was not improved by the knowledge that his attitude was completely unreasonable.

For some unfathomable reason, he had, of late, found himself becoming rather too frequently and unjustly aggravated with Daniel over the most trivial matters. He knew it was happening, but was incapable of controlling his impatience. The voice of reason, vainly shouting the true source of his antagonism in the depths of his consciousness was ruthlessly trodden down, Jack either unready or unwilling to face the truth of his feelings for his closest friend. Instead, he chose to blame Daniel, constantly picking and criticising, shouting him down and undermining his judgment.

Yet, Daniel persevered, doggedly pursuing his objectives; doing his job. As he was doing now, and at which he was apparently succeeding, the swarm of young men beginning to disperse unhappily, several still protesting loudly, and one, Tyron, having to be forcibly dragged away.

"So, Daniel, what did you do, promise them your firstborn?"

"Funny, Jack. I told them Sam was my sister, and that we were on our way to arrange her marriage to the Chief of a very powerful tribe. You agreed to escort us as a special concession to our family, but decided to stop here to set up a trade agreement on the way."

"They bought that?"

"Sure, why wouldn´t they?"

"We stopped to trade on our way to a wedding?"

"Trade is integral to their way of life, so I doubt it would seem unusual to them that we would use any opportunity to do business."

"Why are we even bothering? I mean, seriously, we could find more useful crap at a yard sale."

"Sir, the crystals."

Right, the crystals. The crystals that bore an astonishing similarity to those which powered so much of Go´auld technology. The rather obvious and numerous crystals which apparently served as jewellery for this planet‘s inhabitants The crystals which were his primary motivation for not simply turning his team around and heading home when the unfortunate misunderstanding had occurred. "Carter, are you sure they´re the same as the ones the Go´auld use?"

"As sure as I can be without getting them into the lab, Sir."

"Okay, fine. Daniel…"

"I know, Jack, I´m asking. I just think it might be a good idea to make nice for awhile before we start rifling through their possessions."

"I´m not saying you should mug and run. You´re the one who said trade was integral to their way of life; so trade."

Sadly, Daniel looked away from Jack´s scowling face. When had their every interaction become so strained? Less than a year ago, such a comment would have been accompanied by a wry grin, not this surly contempt. Gone were the days when Jack and he had bickered cheerfully, each convinced that the other was nuts, but willing to compromise for the sake of harmony and friendship. Now, their skirmishes were more intense, invariably ending with bitterness and spite.

Daniel completely understood this particular bout of irritation from Jack and of course his vehement denial of any association with Sam. Jack was in love with Sam, and she with him. Daniel knew this, the zatarc debacle only confirming his previous suspicions. It was just a shame that Jack and Sam´s burgeoning relationship had so drastically affected his own, not only with Jack, but also with Sam, and even Teal´c.

Sighing, Daniel turned back to the eager villagers, focusing his attention on his task. Gradually, he brought the conversation around to their unusual adornments, commenting on their magnificence, casually wondering where they might have come from. The equally casual response stunned him, and he was hard pressed to keep his excitement from showing as the potential significance of all he was being told became clear. He asked a few more cautious questions, nodding and gesturing wildly as Ganfeld readily shared information.

Jack looked on, unaccountably troubled. How long had it been since Daniel had shown this much enthusiasm for anything? Dammit, he was practically bouncing with glee, his beautiful blue eyes luminous. Once upon a time, Daniel had been passionate and eager. Once upon a time, he had enjoyed what they did. Not the killing and carnage and constant peril, of course, but the rest of it; the exploration and discovery; the first contacts and cultural exchanges. But then, once upon a time, Jack and Daniel had been friends.

Not liking where his reflections were taking him, Jack did what he always did when confused; he pestered Daniel. Grabbing Daniel´s arm, he yanked him closer. " So? What did he say, do we get the goodies?"

"Ja-ack." Daniel pouted as he pulled free. "I was having a conversation here."

"I know, I heard. Care to share?"

"Don´t I always? I just wanted to be sure I had all the information first."

"And?"

"And, the crystals weren´t mined here. They apparently come from some ancient ruins." The reactions from his team-mates was suitably gratifying, both Sam and Jack looking astounded, and Teal´c…well Teal´c wasn´t looking much of anything, but Daniel was confident that he was stunned on the inside.

"Goa´uld ruins?"

"They don´t seem to know, Sam. Apparently, they´ve been there for as long as his people can remember. There´s an obelisk on the cliff overlooking the valley with some writing on it in an unfamiliar language. I´m assuming it´s some sort of history of whatever happened here so I´ll know more once I can translate it." Daniel was practically vibrating with glee at the prospect of deciphering this new mystery.

"And they´re happy for us to explore these ruins? No deep religious significance to the place, no booby traps, no long agonizing death if we trespass?"

"It doesn´t seem so, Jack. From what Ganfeld says, his people have been scavenging there for generations."

"Generations? So can we assume that the cupboard´s bare by now then?"

Radiant smile faltering at Jack´s cynicism, Daniel frowned thoughtfully. "I don´t know about that.  I think it´s worth taking a look. Considering the level of technology the Majuni have reached, a lucky find for them is anything that looks pretty and jingles when they walk. We may well find any number of technological gadgets intact."

"I agree." Sam was by now cheerfully inhabiting Daniel´s happy place, her delight at the possibility of new toys to play with equalling his at translating an entire obelisk. "Are they willing to take us there?"

"Apparently there´s no need. All we have to do is follow the path as far as it goes and we can´t miss them."

"Well okay then, what are we hanging around here for, why don´t we…"

"Jack, wait." Reaching out, Daniel halted Jack´s bustling. "It´s several hours away and the days here are relatively short, so I think we´re going to have to wait until tomorrow. In the meantime, we´re invited to a feast."

"A feast?" A faint rumbling in the region of his stomach reminded Jack that it had, in fact been some time since they had eaten. A feast followed by a good night´s sleep did sound somewhat appealing. Unless, of course, these people´s idea of a feast was akin to the Abydonians. "This feast, Daniel, will it include strange and unusual beasts of the scaly and/or slimy variety?"

"Possibly, but I think it´s more likely that several of those ubiquitous chickens will never see tomorrow."

"Chickens, huh? Well, I guess I could eat. Tell them, thank-you; we´d love to attend their feast."

Daniel did so, delighting the waiting Ganfeld, who clapped his hands gleefully. This was the sign for the preparations to begin. Happy villagers rushed back and forth while Ganfeld himself ushered SG-1 away to a nearby hut, presumably the guest quarters.

One man stood apart, aloof from the bustling activity. To anyone watching, it was clear that the other villagers kept away from him, were uneasy near him and were even perhaps afraid of him. But no one was watching. There had been no one to see the contempt in his eyes at the mad scramble to impress the visitors. And there was no one to see the look of covetous desire now blazing from those same eyes.

He had always believed himself to be above the common villagers. He was different, born for more than a life of petty triviality. He knew they avoided him as much as they could, only coming to him when their need for his knowledge surmounted their uneasiness. He brewed them their potions, gloating at his power over them, their trepidation only fuelling his sense of superiority.

He had always known that a special destiny awaited him, and today he had seen his prize. Even from the edge of the village he had seen the intense eyes, as blue as the summer sky, the shining hair turned to burnished gold by the twin suns. He knew without a doubt that this one was destined to be for him. He remained aloof, sneering with disdain as the villagers strutted forth their unseemly display.

He scorned them, but he would use them to achieve his heart´s desire. Stealthily, he insinuated himself into the group surrounding the disgruntled failed suitor, Tyron. Leaning in close, he whispered his poison with malevolent intent.

"Are you seeing what I´m seeing?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I mean, really, are you seeing this?"

"Jack, we´re seeing it."

Laid out on the plain before them like a tapestry were the ruins they had come to find. No ancient city this, rather the wreckage of at least five mother ships and numerous smaller craft, their naquada hulls glittering in the blazing sunlight.

"Daniel, any ideas on where these came from?"

"None whatsoever. What about you, Teal´c?"
 
"There are tales told to children of a great battle in heaven between the first ones, but I had always considered them myths. It is possible I was mistaken."

"Ya think?"

"That would explain why there are no references to a cataclysmic upheaval amongst the gods in any of Earth´s ancient texts. This conflict in all probability pre-dates the earliest historical writings. Hopefully I´ll know more once I translate the obelisk walls."

"You can do that?"

"Oh yes. It´s an obscure dialect, but definitely a derivative of Goa´uld, combined with pictographs."

"Sweet. Once we´ve had a good look around down there you can…"

"Jack, wouldn´t it make more sense for me to stay here and get started on the translations while the rest of you check out the valley?"

"Daniel…"

"I´ll be fine here. Ganfeld said the children come here to play so I´m sure it´s safe, and really, the more we know about what precipitated this battle, the better, so…"

"Enough, Daniel. You can stay, but not alone, allegedly safe or not. Teal´c…"

"Actually, Sir, I´d really like to get a closer look at the stone the obelisk is made from. It´s warm to the touch, even ib the shade. That might well indicate a high-level of naquada. I need to get some scrapings, also some soil samples to be sure, but it´s possible, that…"

"Okay, okay, I get it. For crying out loud, does chain of command ring any bells with anyone? What about you, T? You got any pressing need to stay here?"

"I have not."

"Well, good. Carter, you sure you want to pass up on the opportunity to ogle whatever alien knickknacks we find down there?"

"It´s been sitting there for centuries so I doubt it will disappear before I get the chance to evaluate it, Sir. Besides, I´m sure you and Teal´c will retrieve anything of interest."

"What makes you think we´ll let you play with our toys, Carter?"

"I am content to allow MajorCarter to engage in recreational activities with any infantile play objects within my possession, O´Neill. Why would you not be also?"

"I didn´t mean…oh never mind. Daniel, Carter, you stay here and do your thing. Teal´c you´re with me."

After collecting her equipment from Teal´c, who had been carrying the heavier items, Sam moved to join an already engrossed Daniel. Jack watched them for a moment before slapping Teal´c on the back and leading the way down the steep path to the valley below.

"Oh my god, it was us."

Sam turned to where Daniel was rapidly scanning the wall. "Daniel?

"The battle, it happened because of us. Well, not us personally. Us people. Humans. The Tau´ri"

"So Ra was involved?"

"No. He must have lied when he said he was the first to discover Earth."

"A Goa´uld lying? Impossible."

Daniel chuckled, shooting a wry grin at Sam. "According the story told here, Amen…"

"Amen? You´re kidding, right?"

"No. Why would I be?"

"Well. Amen? There´s a God called Amen?"

"Yes. His name means 'The Hidden One.´ He was the patron deity of Thebes from the earliest times, and was viewed as a primordial creation- deity by the priests of Hermapolis. By Dynasty XVIII, Thebes had established its sovereignty in Egypt, so he became more prominent, even being termed the King of the Gods. The temple at Karnac was dedicated to him. Oh. Hah."

"What?"

"What?"

"What 'oh hah´?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why did you say, 'oh hah´ in that eureka way of yours, Daniel."

"I have a'eureka´ way?"

"Daniel."

"Right, sorry. Oh hah Budge." Crossing his arms, Daniel nodded sagely at Sam, clearly believing that all was now crystal clear.

Crossing her own arms in a mirror of Daniel, Sam nodded back at him. "Okay, now that´s your smug, 'I told you so´ expression. And I still have no idea what you´re talking about."

Daniel sniffed, put out by the insinuation that he could ever be smug, but generously decided to ignore the insult and explain his insights further. "Well, according to Budge, Amen by Dynasty XIX-XX was thought of as an invisible creative power which was the source of all life in heaven, and on the earth, and in the great deep, and in the Underworld, and which made itself manifest under the form of *Ra*. See. Budge believed that Amen and Ra was the same person, but they obviously weren´t. Budge was wrong again." Daniel finished with a flourish and a scornful smirk. Budge. You could get more accurate information from a fortune cookie than from that ass.

Sam grinned at Daniel. "So, Amen was the first Goa´uld to come to Earth, and not to be confused with Ra, who only claimed to be."

"Right. Where was I?"

"Amen."

"Amen, allegedly a great and mighty god, but actually a Goa´uld in an Unas host, travelled the stars with his Queen, the equally almighty Mut, to spread their great mightiness to new Worlds. One of those worlds was inhabited by a strange race they had never before encountered. Though primitive, their curiosity, resourcefulness and tenacity fascinated Amen and Mut so greatly that they were willing to overlook the comparative physical vulnerability of this race."

"How selfless of them."

"Wasn´t it."

"But how did any of that lead to this kind of destruction?"

"After spending some time studying humans, Amen and Mut decided to take new hosts from among them, and I´m only guessing here, I could be completely wrong about this, but Sam, have you ever wondered why the Goa´uld made the switch from unas to humans? I mean, an unas would be stronger, more resilient and a considerably more threatening foe. So why change?"

Sam frowned, realising that when put like that it did seem illogical. Which meant there had to be some other factor involved. "I don´t know, Daniel. I suppose that there must be more to it that a convenient body."

"Exactly." Getting exited, Daniel began to pace, gesturing extravagantly. "We know that the host does survive, but we´ve always assumed that their spirit is completely eradicated by the presence of the symbiote. But what if that isn´t the case? What if some residual echo of the life force remains? What if the Goa´uld can access and exploit some human personality traits?"

"I´m not sure I like the sound of that. Horrible to think that the Goa´uld are evil because of us."

"Oh, I think the Goa´uld are evil all on their own. I think what we give them is…I don´t know…maybe originality, initiative, creativity?"

"You´re saying we made them more sneaky?"

"Uh, yeah. Is that nuts?"

"Unfortunately not. I wish it were. So, this new sneakiness caused a war?"

"Not really. Maybe tangentially."

"Then how is it relevant?"

"It´s not, really. I just thought it was interesting. Sorry."

Sam laughed. "Well, I guess it is, but could we get to the part about the battle and leave the philosophical discussion for later."

Daniel smiled back. "Sure, no problem. So after taking human hosts, Mut and Amen loaded both their ships with the abundant resources of their new planet, including a considerable number of new slaves, and set off for home. On the way they were met by three rival Goa´uld."

"Who?"

"I don´t know, it doesn´t say. But whoever they were, they apparently took exception to the fact that Amen and Mut refused to share the wealth of the new world that they had found. I guess things escalated, until it got to the stage where there was no option but to fight."

"And everyone died."

"Not quite everyone. Amen and Mut transported their cargo, including the human slaves and a handful of jaffa guards, down to the planet. Probably trying to preserve their booty so that they could retrieve it later, but that never happened. By the time the battle was over, there was no-one left to come claim the spoils of war."

"So they just stayed here?"

"What else could they do? The jaffa guards were too shocked by the destruction of their gods to make any rational decisions, so they followed their last orders; protect their god´s possessions. They carved this obelisk so that the great deeds performed by their gods would never be forgotten, and that´s pretty much it."

"Daniel, are you saying that there are Unas here on this planet?"

"Oh, I doubt it. There couldn´t have been more than a dozen to start with, and almost certainly all male. I know that Unas are long-lived but not that long. Besides, they were jaffa, so once the infant Goa´uld they carried matured, they would have died."

"But Daniel, what about the Goa´uld? They would have taken hosts from amongst the slaves, and thy can survive for centuries."

"Not without a sarcophagus, Sam. The Tok´Ra live a long time, but nowhere near as long as the Goa´uld. The sarcophagus makes the difference. Even if the Goa´uld changed hosts regularly, I doubt they could have survived for so long. Remember, this all happened before even Ra came to Earth. Those infants would be older now than virtually all the Goa´uld we´ve encountered. Older that Yu, and he´s mostly dead even with regular sarcophagus spa treatments."

"I guess so. Still, I don´t like it. I think we should let the Colonel know what you´ve found out, just in case there´s anything hinky in any of those Mother ships."

"I guess it couldn´t hurt, but I really don´t think it´s likely. The villagers are just too damn happy for there to be errant Goa´uld running around the place."

"Good point. Still, you know what the Colonel´s like when he thinks he´s being kept out of the loop."

Rolling his eyes, Daniel recoiled theatrically. "Oh god, don't remind me. Call, call now, don´t waste a second."

 Laughing, Sam reached for her radio to pass on their new information, but she never got the chance.

"Jack?"

Daniel pushed himself painfully to his knees, one hand rubbing tentatively at his head. He winced as he touched the large lump on the back of his skull, dropping his hand and shaking his head, trying to focus his misbehaving eyes while he felt around for his glasses. He finally found them, bent out of shape and both lenses cracked. Sighing, he tossed them away.

Still disoriented, he started to call again for Jack, pausing as his mind started to clear. No, Jack hadn´t been here. Jack went to check out…something, with Teal´c. He was…he had been…oh god.

"Sam!" Staggering to his feet, he looked around frantically. "Sam, can you hear me? Sam!"

She was gone.

This was his fault, he should have…no, there wasn´t the time now for a self-indulgent guilt trip, time enough for recriminations once Sam was found. He needed Jack. Now. Thank god they hadn´t known to take the radio still clipped to his vest. "Jack? Come in, Jack."

Nothing. It was dead. Daniel tapped it, shook it, but it was useless. Squinting at it, he could see now that it was clearly dented. Now what? He could never find her on his own, but should he go back to the village, to the Stargate, or try to catch up with Jack and Teal´c?

Even before he realised what he was doing Daniel had started for the cliff edge. Maybe he wouldn´t have to chase after them. They had been able to see that path all the way down to the valley, so perhaps he could get their attention and call them back. Then they could find Sam. Teal´c was great at tracking. He would find Sam.

He was running now, headlong in impatience, too intent on getting help to watch where he was going. His foot caught on a root, his momentum sending him flying forward. He landed heavily, grunting at the force of his landing. Then he saw it, only inches away. Sam´s radio. She must have lost it in the struggle when they dragged her away.

Grabbing it, he switched it on, sighing with relief as he was greeted by the hiss if static. "Jack, can you hear me. Are you there, Jack?"

"Where else would I be, Daniel? What´s up?"

"Oh, thank god. Jack, you need to get back here. Something´s happened. It´s Sam."

"What about her? Daniel, what´s going on?"

"Jack, I don´t think they´ll hurt her, but…"

"Who won´t hurt her?"

"Tyron."

"Who the hell is Tyron?"

"You know. The guy from yesterday. The one who wanted to marry her. He followed us here with some friends and they took her, but I´m sure he won´t hurt her, Jack."

"Are you nuts? What were you thinking letting some weird alien stalker take Carter? How can you know he won´t hurt her?"

"He wants to marry her so it wouldn´t make any sense hurting her. I believe he´s trying to prove his worthiness as a potential husband."

"By kidnapping her?"

"Yes. He´s showing that he´s a formidable warrior by taking her from her protectors. Proving that he´s capable of defending her should she choose him."

"You can´t know that, and I´m not prepared to risk the life of a member of my team on what you think. We need to get her back. Now."

"Well, yes, obviously. I wasn´t suggesting…"

"Who knows what you were suggesting. Hell, you probably offered her to them just to test your crazy theories."

"Jack! How could you think…"

"I don´t want to hear it, Daniel. We´ve wasted enough time. I want you to get back to the Stargate and apprise the SGC of our situation. Teal´c and I will…"

"Jack, I don´t think that´s the best idea. I should go back to the village for help. Tyron has family there. Someone who might know where he would take Sam."

"Back to the village? They´re the ones who took her."

"No, they´re not. We´re their guests. They would consider this an insult to us, and a stain on their honour. I´m sure Tyron was acting alone. He´s young and impulsive and he´s made a bad judgment call, but he´s not evil. If we bring his family to reason with him, then…"

"You can´t know any of that. All we do know is that Carter has been taken by one of these people. We have no idea who else is involved. Now get to the Stargate and let the General know what´s happened."

"But Jack…"

"Enough! I´m not gonna argue about this. As long as you´re on this team, you´ll follow my orders. Get to the Stargate."

"Okay, spit it out."

When there was no answer, Jack turned to look at Teal´c, scowling at the clear disapproval directed at him. "Okay, maybe I was a bit…hasty, but Daniel…"

"I do not accept that you truly believe that DanielJackson would willingly permit MajorCarter to be placed in jeopardy."

"Of course he wouldn´t let her be hurt, but if he thought she would be safe, then…"

"O´Neill."

Jack hadn´t thought that Teal´c expression could show even more reproach, but there it was. He sighed. "No, I don´t believe that Daniel would have let those men just take Carter."

"And yet you implied that you did."

"I know."

"DanielJackson is a man of peace. He would always crave a solution reached through conciliation, and yet he has strived to improve his proficiency as a warrior. He has done this so as not to encumber his team. He has, I believe, succeeded in his attempts, and yet he is a civilian still."

"Sure, I know that. So what?"

"MajorCarter, however, is not. In a combat situation, she would naturally take command."

"So you´re saying it´s Carter´s own fault she was kidnapped?"

"I am not. I consider it unlikely that any act or omission by MajorCarter precipitated the situation. I am simply stating that the responsibility for her own and DanielJackson´s safety was, primarily, hers. I do not possess sufficient information to apportion blame."

Looking shamefaced, Jack nodded. "No, and neither do I, but I still did. I blamed Daniel. Dammit. This isn't the first time either."

"No, it is not. Your unreasonable condemnation of DanielJackson is becoming increasingly common. It concerns me."

Again, Jack nodded. "I know. I know you´re right. It´s just, he´s so…Daniel."

That earned him a raised eyebrow. The one that said, 'you are an ass but out of the goodness of my heart I shall overlook your idiocy´.

"Look, I know that he was always…I mean, hell, I don´t know what I mean. It´s just; everything Daniel says or does now drives me nuts. I don´t know why."

"If you do not, then perhaps it is because you do not wish to know."

"What´s that supposed to mean?"

"Your antipathy toward DanielJackson is detrimental to us all. It cannot continue. You must masticate your ammunition and reflect on the source of this hostility."

"That´s 'bite the bullet´, Teal´c. And yeah, I guess it is time I worked this out."

And it was. Way past time. But god, it was hard. So hard to accept that his first thought when Daniel contacted him had been relief that it was Carter, and not Daniel who had been taken. Hot on its heels had come guilt, and then denial. His mind back peddling frantically from a thought it couldn´t handle, leaving only anger. Anger he directed at Daniel for making him feel these things. How unfair was that?

But he couldn´t, he simply wasn´t ready, to admit what those feelings suggested, because that knowledge would rock the foundations of his life. He couldn´t know and still be able to recognize the man he saw in the mirror every morning. He couldn´t know or he would lose himself, but if he continued refusing to know, he would lose Daniel. Oh god, it was hard.

Daniel stared helplessly at the radio as it snapped into silence. This was wrong. As convinced as he was that Tyron meant Sam no harm, he was behaving recklessly. And it was possible that in his eagerness to persuade Sam of his value, he could cross some absolute line from which there was no return. They had to end this situation before that could happen, and getting Tyron´s family to appeal to him was the best way of doing that. Jack was making the wrong decision.

He understood Jack´s reaction. The woman he loved was in the hands of a man in lust with her. Of course he would be anxious and distracted, but he should have listened. And now Daniel had to decide whether to follow Jack´s orders, or to do what was needed to save Sam. And really, what choice did he honestly have? He couldn´t jeopardize Sam. He had to go to the village, and if Jack wanted him off the team because of his actions, then so be it.

Decision made, he bent to retrieve his pack. He felt something bite the back of his neck and he slapped at it, expecting to find some kind of bug. Instead, he pulled out something sharp. He had barely registered that he was looking at a dart before the poison began its work, tumbling him into darkness.

He stood over his prey, gloating. It had been so easy. That fool Tyron so easy to manipulate, but then, it was always easy to convince someone to believe what they wanted to believe. Now he had his prize. In their concern for the female, no one would think to look for his intended mate.

He bent down, greedily caressing a soft cheek. Oh yes, this was perfect. By the time it was discovered that this one, too, was lost, it would be too late. By then, this one would have been claimed by one worthy of his perfection.

This one, this Danel, would be his. Danel would satisfy his every desire, and would do so willingly, for as long as he wished it to be so.

Jack frowned at the two packs lying abandoned beside the obelisk. Daniel must have abandoned everything in his haste to get help for Carter. Again, Jack felt guilty for his unwarranted criticism of Daniel. He had to fix this. He had to stop hurting Daniel, and he would, just as soon as they had rescued Carter. He looked to where Teal´c was crouched, intently studying the ground a few feet away.

"Find anything, Teal´c."

"DanielJackson and MajorCarter were situated to the left of the obelisk when six males, all approximately one metre, eighty-five centimetres in height, weighing one hundred and eighty pounds, wearing simple homespun clothing, animal skins and flat soled leather sandals, entered the clearing at speed from the direction of the village. There was a struggle during which DanielJackson was overcome and two of the males received superficial injuries. MajorCarter was restrained and dragged into the undergrowth while DanielJackson remained in a prone position."

"You can get all that from dirt?"

"Yes."

"Wait, you said Daniel was down. He was hurt?"

"Possibly."

"Damn. He never said."

"He was not given an opportunity to do so."

Looking away, Jack rubbed a hand over his face. This just got worse and worse. "So you can track Carter?"

"Of course. They made no attempt to conceal their direction."

"Okay then. Let´s…What is it?"

Teal´c was on full alert, weapon aimed at the village path. Now Jack could hear it too. Could hear it, but not quite believe it. "Teal´c, are you hearing bells?"

"I am."

"Oh. Okay. Our visitors not going for stealth then."

"It would appear not."

"But, bells? What´s with that?"

"I observed that many of the Majuni adorned their clothing with resonating objects. Theirs is not a society which encourages restraint."

Right on cue, Ganfeld burst onto the scene skidding to a halt when he saw Jack and Teal´c. Unfortunately, the short, tubby man on his heels wasn´t so quick, barrelling headlong into Ganfeld´s back, knocking him over and then tripping over him. Ganfeld was just starting to rise when he was again felled by a third man, who promptly tumbled onto his two friends. The fourth man tried and failed to jump over the pile-up, kicking number three on the butt before landing on the tubby man´s hand, overbalancing and sitting on Ganfeld´s head. Last came a small, round and very angry woman. She managed to stay on her feet, launching into a tirade against her fallen men folk and running around the tangle of bodies, whacking at them with what looked like a water filled balloon on a string.

Jack exchanged a bemused glance with Teal´c, wondering when this had turned into a farce. Putting his fingers to his lips, he whistled loudly, calling a halt to the bedlam.

They pulled each other up and stood in a silent huddle, staring pensively at Jack. Suddenly, they broke, surging forward and surrounding Jack, all babbling furiously, pointing and gesturing, bouncing and pulling at his clothes.

Jack caught the occasional 'Sem´, 'Tyron´ and 'Danel´ but what they were trying to convey about his team was a mystery to him.

"Teal´c, are you getting any of this."

"This is not a language with which I am familiar, however, I would infer from their tone and demeanour that DanielJackson was correct and that Tyron´s activities were not sanctioned. They are angry that he has dishonoured them, and wish to rectify his transgression."

Jack stared at him. Damn, he was good. Clearing his throat, he attempted a casual stance. "Yeah, that´s what I thought."

That got him the 'oh really´ eyebrow.

"You think they know where Tyron´s taken Carter?"

"It would appear so. We would be wise to accompany them."

"Again, just what I was thinking."

Catching hold of Ganfeld´s upper arms, Jack bent down to look him in the eye, nodding at him and pointing at himself and Teal´c, then poking Ganfeld in the chest. Ganfeld beamed widely, throwing his arms around Jack and chortling 'Jik´. Annoyed, Jack pointed at himself and said slowly and loudly, 'Jaack.´ Ganfeld bobbed happily, repeating, 'Jik´. Perfect. Seriously, how hard was it to get one syllable right?  

Gesturing expansively toward the undergrowth, Jack patted Ganfeld on the back. "Okay buddy, lead the way."

With a jingling of bells and much exited jabbering, they were off. Resigned, Jack turned to Teal´c. "I don´t suppose there´s any way we can impress upon these people the concept of a covert approach?"

"I think it unlikely."

"I was afraid of that. I guess we´ll have to trust that they know how to deal with one of their own. Or that Tyron is deaf."

"We can but hope."

Daniel groaned. He felt raw and uncoordinated, muscles aching and skin stretched too tight. Uncurling, he tried to stand, but only got one knee under himself before collapsing back. Groaning again, he wrapped his arms around his legs and dropped his head onto his knees.

"Danel?"

He jerked up, blinking and rubbing his eyes. A well-built, dark haired man sat a few feet away, staring intently at him with obvious concern.

"Danel, are you well?"

"Huh?"

"Did the strangers injure you, Danel?"

"What strangers? Who are you? Oh god, who am I?"

"I am Korz." Outwardly, Korz oozed concern, but secretly he rejoiced. His potion was working perfectly. Danel´s memories were locked away, hidden from him, and in his confusion, he would turn to Korz for help. All it needed was a tiny push, and in his drug-induced suggestibility, Danel would be easy to manipulate. Before long, he would believe everything Korz chose to tell him, and when his companions came for him, he would reject them. Danel would freely choose him, Korz. But first, they must unite, for once they had shared their bodies, none could part them. Once they had combined their essences, the drug would ensure that Danel would desire only him. Would believe only him. Would have faith in him alone. They would be one. Indivisible. "You are Danel; my mate."

They found them easily, gathered in a clearing less than an hour´s walk away. Carter was perched on a large boulder, hands and feet secured with brightly coloured scarves. In front of her, five men formed a semi-circle around Tyron, who was…no, he couldn´t be.

"Teal´c, he´s dancing."

"So it would seem."

"I mean, he´s dancing. Who kidnaps a person then dances at them?"

"In many cultures, energetic dancing is employed to display one´s masculine assets."

"Eeew, that is just so wrong. C´mon, let´s go get Carter."

They had only taken a few steps when they were pushed aside as the small woman rushed forward, screeching loudly and brandishing her water balloon. Tyron stopped dancing, petrified by the sight of the incensed virago about to descend on him.

His friends backed away from him, huddling and cowed. The woman launched herself at him, barely reaching his waist. She grabbed his ear, dragging his head down and shaking it, jabbing her finger into his face and pulling his nose."

"I suspect that she is his mother."

Jack agreed, nodding sagely. "Oh yeah, and boy, is Mommy pissed. Carter, doing okay over there?"

"I´m fine, Sir."

"Good. Glad to hear it." Trying to ignore the racket behind them as the men joined the woman in collectively berating Tyron and his friends for their foolishness, Jack freed Sam´s hands while Teal´c did the same for her ankles.

As she slid from the rock, Sam gave Jack an apologetic look. "Sir, I´m sorry. This was my fault. I should never have let them get the drop on me. I just didn´t recognise the threat. Tyron brought us a food, and he seemed so harmless, so when he handed me the basket, I took it. The others came out of the bushes fast and tossed a net over me before I could free my hands. There´s no excuse for that kind of lax performance, Sir."

"Well, up to a point you were right. Tyron is harmless. Mostly harmless. Although that dancing; disco lives. Scary."

"You´re lucky you missed the singing."

"There was singing?"

"Yes, with the others joining in for the chorus."

"Damn, this is a weird planet."

Sam started to laugh, but suddenly stopped, eyed wide with distress as she realised who was missing. "Sir, where´s Daniel? Is he okay?"

"Daniel´s fine. I sent him to the gate to update the General."

"Alone? I mean, if he had a concussion, then…"

"Hey, wait up. Concussion?"

"I can´t be sure about the concussion, but he was hurt. When they tried to take me there was a fight, and I was so tangled in the net I couldn´t help at all. Sir, I think they were trying not to hurt him, but you know Daniel. Every time they knocked him down, he got right back up and into it again. They had to knock him out to stop him."

Jack felt something inside twisting. Daniel was hurt. Daniel had been hurt protecting Carter and what had he done? Accused him of abandoning Carter on a cultural whim, that´s what. "Daniel was hurt?"

"Yes, Sir. I guess he said he was fine when you asked, didn´t he?"

The guilt was like a rock sitting on his chest. "I didn´t ask."

"You didn´t…oh. And he would never volunteer information about himself, not if he thought I was in danger."

"No, he wouldn´t." Jack keyed his radio. "Daniel, come in." There was no answer. "Daniel? Daniel! Come on Daniel, where are you?"

Sam and Teal´c gathered close, their concern for Daniel evident. None of them noticed the sudden quiet behind them, Jack´s voice raised in anxiety arresting the bedlam.

Ganfeld approached, joining the huddle around Jack, eyes wide and worried. He pulled at Jack´s sleeve for attention, expression grave. Jack tried to shake him off until one word registered; Danel.

Jack grabbed his shirt, shaking him. "Daniel? Did you do something to Daniel? Tell me."

Sam laid a hand on his arm to calm him. "Sir, he´s trying to tell us. It´s not his fault we don´t understand."

"I know. I know it´s not his fault."

Once again, Ganfeld began tugging at Jack´s sleeve, pointing and repeating, 'Danel´.

"He would seem to be aware of the whereabouts of DanielJackson."

"Who knows what he´s aware of, T. Our best information is that Daniel is somewhere on the path to the Stargate. We should be searching there."

Eyes still on Ganfeld, Teal´c nodded. "Perhaps. Yet he seems most insistent. I believe that it would be unwise to disregard him."

Grimacing, Jack drummed his fingers against his P90. "Teal´c, these guys are about as competent as the keystone cops, and you want to trust them with finding Daniel?"

"Ganfeld and his people were successful in locating MajorCarter, and may also discover DanielJackson."

"That was different. We knew Carte had been taken, whereas Daniel is most likely hurt."

"Nevertheless."

"Okay, here´s what we do. Carter, you and Teal´c head for the gate, and I´ll go with Ganfeld. That way, all the bases are covered."

Jack watched them go, wishing he could go with them, but knowing that even the slim possibility that Ganfeld knew where Daniel was could not be ignored. He´d made enough mistakes with Daniel today. He couldn´t afford another one.

Turning to Ganfeld, he raised his hands in inquiry. "Danel?" He put as much appeal into his voice as he could, relieved when Ganfeld nodded in understanding before leading him into the dense undergrowth.

It took all of Korz´ self-discipline not to snap at his Danel. This was not right. This was taking too long. He had considered every move, calculated every variant. It was inconceivable that the fault lay with his plan. He could not have misjudged the situation. No, his plan was perfect; it had to be. But then why did Danel still hesitate?  

By now, their joining should have been completed. By now, Danel should be irretrievably his. The villagers were fools, and the strangers little better, but even their stupidity was not inexhaustible. The woman would be found, and Tyron questioned. Tyron would explain that he was following the advice given him by Korz. They would be amazed that Korz would involve himself in Tyron´s insignificant desires, until the absence of Danel was discovered. Then they would comprehend his deception. Then they would come here and they would rob him of his Danel.

They must unite so that the drug could instigate the bond between them, and they must do so soon. More forcefulness was required. No time, now, to allow Danel to come to him with the joy Korz had so eagerly anticipated. After all, the drug invading Danel´s body required only submission, not passion to work its magic. What did it matter if Danel was initially uneasy? He would adapt and he would learn to be content. All that mattered, finally, was that Danel would belong to him. That Danel would always belong to him.

"O´Neill?"

Jack instantly tapped his radio. "Teal´c, give me good news."

"I regret I cannot."

Cursing, Jack closed his eyes, frustrated. Distressing as it was to think of Daniel alone and hurt, any alternative was far worse. Glancing at his watch, he realised that they had separated less than an hour earlier. Teal´c and Carter had barely started their search, so why were they calling to tell him they had failed? "Where are you guys? You can´t be at the Stargate yet, so why are you giving up?"

"Sir, we´re back at the clearing. Teal´c found something."

"What something? Teal´c, I thought you already checked that place out. I saw you check the place out. Are you saying you missed something?"

"I am. Following his recovery from the initial attack and his conversation with you, O´Neill, DanielJackson was once again rendered insentient. There was then a second incursion. A single male, approximately one metre ninety in height and weighing one hundred and eighty-five pounds entered the clearing. He approached DanielJackson, studied his prone form for a short time before abducting him. Unlike his predecessors, this intruder took care to conceal his movements; however, this does not excuse my negligence. It grieves me that my error placed DanielJackson in peril. I allowed myself to be tricked by the obvious signs left by those who took MajorCarter, making no attempt to investigate further."

"Not your fault, Teal´c. We spoke with Daniel after the attack. We had no reason to suspect that anything had happened to him."

"Even so, had I taken only a few moments more, I would have discovered the danger to DanielJackson."

"And if the Majuni hadn´t shown up when they did you would have taken those moments. There´s no point beating yourself up about it now. What´s done is done. I´m not happy about having to rely on Ganfeld to find Daniel, but we have no choice. The old guy seems to know where he´s going, so we have to trust that whatever information Tyron gave him, was enough to work out what the hell is going on."

"Is there any way you can get a destination from Ganfeld? Somewhere we can meet you?"

"No chance with the destination, Carter, believe me, I´ve tried. All the guy does is smile, point, and repeat, 'Danel´. Teal´c, can you track the direction he was taken?"

"Yes."

"Good. We can trap this son of a bitch between the cliffs and us. He is going to pay for hurting Daniel."

"Indeed."

"Yes, Sir, we´ll see you soon."

Jack keyed off his radio, turning his attention back to Ganfeld, waiting patiently beside him. Jack nodded, indicating that they should continue. "Okay, buddy, it´s up to you, now. I sure hope you know what you´re doing."

Recognising Jack´s anguish, Ganfeld turned solemn. He gripped Jack´s arms, looking gravely into his eyes. Jack looked back, seeing for the first time the inherent decency of this man. Seeing for the first time that Ganfeld truly cared about Daniel´s safety, and that he intended to do everything in his power to protect him. Seeing and understanding why this man was the leader of his people. A man to be trusted. A man Jack could trust.

This time, when Ganfeld led him forward, he followed readily, sure now, that Daniel would be returned to him, and this time, he would do things right. He would stop sniping at Daniel. Stop undermining everything he did. Stop criticising and backbiting. Stop the gratuitous spite. He would treat Daniel fairly and reasonably. He would be the friend he was supposed to be; the friend he had been before. Everything would change once he got Daniel back. He had to get Daniel back. He had to. Nothing else was acceptable.

Danel pressed himself into the cold stone wall, pleading eyes fixed on Korz, anxious and unhappy, desperate for understanding. It was all so confusing. It wasn´t that he didn´t trust Korz. He did. He knew Korz only wanted to help him. That Korz wanted him to remember as badly as he wanted it himself. That Korz blamed himself for not being able to protect Danel from the strangers. Blamed himself that the strangers had taken Danel and hurt him. Taken his clothes, his life, and his mind. Had twisted everything and made him the stranger. Danel knew all of that. He believed everything that Korz had told him; still.

He fingered the sleeve of the garment Korz assured him was not his own. So then why did it feel so right? So comfortable, so familiar? Then there was the language they spoke. The words came effortlessly to him, and yet he kept hearing his own voice speaking other words in other languages. One language in particular flooded into his mind, demanding attention and claiming dominance.

Even his name, Danel, sounded…off. Almost, but not quite there. All such little things, almost certainly a result of the things the strangers had done to him. At least, that´s what Korz said, and Danel had no reason to question his loyalty and love. After all, Korz had saved him. Brought him home and taken care of him. No, he had absolutely no reason to doubt Korz´ devotion; except.

Was he really being so unreasonable to ask for more time? He understood that he and Korz were life mates, that they shared everything, were everything to each other. In fact, their relationship sounded idyllic, and he absolutely wanted to feel that kind of harmony again, but with his memories gone, he just couldn´t. Not yet. And without that connection, any expression of their love would be empty and meaningless. Why couldn´t Korz see that?

Grimacing, he put down his cup, sighing when Korz instantly handed it back to him, urging him to keep drinking the bitter liquid. He lifted it to his lips, taking a tiny sip, gagging at the thick sourness. Knowing that this potion would help him regain his memories was the only thing that could make him force down the foul brew. That, and knowing how much trouble Korz had gone to mixing it especially for him. To help him. To make him well again.

Danel *had* to remember. For Korz, and for himself. He owed it to Korz, who loved him. He could see how much his reticence was hurting Korz. How wounded Korz looked every time Danel pulled away, every time Danel held back. He saw it as rejection, but it really wasn´t. He just wanted more time. To wait until he felt more himself. Was that really too much to ask?

He flinched as Korz grabbed his arm, shaking it to get his attention.

"Danel, it is time. Why do you defy me? Have I not made clear that your mind can only be fully restored after your essence has united with mine? Come, delay no longer."

Korz pulled him to his feet, tugging him towards the mound of cushions scattered in the centre of the room. Danel hesitated, trying to draw back. Was this really the answer? Korz clearly believed it was, and who was he to disagree? After all, they were mates, so it wasn´t as if they had never done this before.

Danel made his decision, turning to Korz with a nervous smile. Korz´ face lit with triumph, a look that abruptly turned to rage as his head whipped towards the door.

Danel turned too, unsure what was happening, and then he, too, heard the raised voices and running feet rapidly approaching their home. Daniel started for the door, stopped by a hand to his chest.

"But…"

"Danel, you must remain here. I will deal with this."

Danel retreated to the back of the hut, arms hugged tightly around himself. The voices were angry, arguing loudly with Korz.

One voice rose above the others. A voice he recognised, one that spoke in that other language, that spoke words that made him tremble with unease. The strangers. It had to be one of the strangers who had taken him and hurt him. And now he was found, and they would try to take him again.

Korz had warned him of this, and now it had happened. He had been a fool. If he had only done as Korz wished he would be safe now. He would have his memories back, and he would know how to fight them. But he had been too cautious, and now both he and Korz were in danger.

God, what kind of a man was he, to stand cowering in a corner while the man he loved confronted the danger. For him. To protect him. They should be facing this together. He had held back from Korz before, but now it was time to prove his loyalty. He took a deep breath and then he was ready to support his mate.

The silence was immediate as Danel erupted from the hut, every eye turned on him incredulously. The stranger was the first to recover stepping closer and reaching out to him.

"Thank god, Daniel, you´re here. Are you okay, what did that son of a bitch do to you?"

Startled, Danel pulled back. He stared at the stranger, shaking his dead in confusion. Daniel, the stranger had called him Daniel, the name striking an undeniable chord within him. How could that be?

The stranger had stopped, a frown on his face as he watched Danel retreat. "Daniel, what´s wrong? Are you hurt? C´mon, Daniel, talk to me."

Korz was by his side now, pulling at him, demanding his attention, and more than anything he wished that he could just go, forget the stranger and go, but that was impossible now. He could feel the memories tickling the back of his skull, insistent and unrelenting.

He knew this man, this stranger. He knew that voice, could hear it shouting at him, berating him. He could hear it clearly, tearing into his soul and leaving the bitter taste of betrayal. Oh god, everything Korz had told him must be true. The details were still unclear, but he knew without a doubt, that this man had hurt him, and would hurt him again.

No, he wouldn´t let that happen. He wouldn´t let this man take him. He would escape. He backed away, fist clenched, breathing hard, his mind overwhelmed with the images of the man in front of him, his face contorted with rage and disgust.

He ran, without direction, wanting only to be free of the chaos in his head. Wanting only peace.

Jack reacted fast, but not fast enough, his grasping fingers closing on nothing but air as Daniel fled from him.

What the hell was going on? He had found Daniel, apparently safe and whole, but how could he save Daniel when Daniel refused to be saved? What had that man done to Daniel that he didn´t even seem to recognise his own name? That he didn´t recognise Jack?

With a curse he was off and running, chasing after his friend, leaving the angry villagers to deal with Daniel´s captor.

He could hear Daniel ahead of him, crashing through the undergrowth. Well, at least he wasn´t trying to hide. Jack followed at a jog, wanting to be moving faster, but knowing that his best chance was to wear Daniel out. To stay on his trail until he was too tired to run any more. Then Jack would get his chance. Jack could find out what had spooked Daniel. Could find out what had made Daniel look at Jack as if he was lower than pond scum. Maybe then, Jack could shake the uncomfortable sense of responsibility that tormented him.
Too wrapped up in his thoughts, Jack never saw the log that tripped him. He cursed loudly as he crashed through a large and thorny bush, tumbled down a sharp incline to emerge unexpectedly into bright sunlight.

The small clearing was surrounded on three sides by dense scrub, the fourth dropping off sharply to the valley below. Daniel stood at the cliff edge, as far from Jack as he could get, his eyes wide at the sudden intrusion into his sanctuary.

He pushed anxiously at the bushes around him, but they were too thick to get through. Jack saw the moment Daniel realised that the only way out was the way Jack had come in, and that would mean having to pass right by Jack. He was cornered, and he knew it.

His face took on the stubborn, pissy look Jack knew so well. Arms wrapped around his body, He glared at Jack. Jack grinned back, unreasonably happy at seeing that pout again, happy at any expression that expelled the scared, defeated look Daniel had worn before.

It occurred to Jack that he was still laying on the ground in an ungainly heap and that this was, perhaps, not the ideal position in which to reassure Daniel. He stood, nonchalantly brushing himself down and pulling an irritatingly sharp and penetrating thorn from his ass.

"So, Daniel."

"Don´t call me that. My name is Danel."

"No, it´s not. It´s Daniel. Daniel Jackson. And I´m Jack. Your friend."

"That´s a lie. Korz told me everything. He told me what you did to me."

"And what would that be, Daniel?"

"Danel, it´s Danel. He told me how you and your people abducted me, then tried to brainwash me and make me stay with you. You stole my memories. It´s because of you that I don´t remember anything."

"Daniel, that´s not true. C´mon, think about it, why would we do that?"

"To get at Korz. He refused to work for you, so you took me from him as a punishment. He explained everything."

"Work for us doing what, for god´s sake? Look, the first time I ever saw this guy, Klutz…"

"Korz."

"Whatever. I swear I never saw him until just now, and I am totally sure he has squat that I could want."

"Do you expect me to believe that?"

"I expect you to start using that exceptional brain I know you have, and stop parroting what some guy even you admit you can´t remember has told you."

"I´m not."

"Are too. And hey, has it occurred to you that the reason you can´t remember Klutz it that you don´t actually know him. This isn´t even your planet."

"What? That´s crazy, if course it is."

"Daniel, you understand me right?"

"Sure, you´re not that complex."

"Ha, now there´s the Daniel we all know and love. Something';s coming back, isn't it?"

"No."

"Then how would you know the extent of my complexity, or the lack, thereof?"

"Lucky guess. Is this going somewhere?"

"Huh? Oh, right yeah. What I was getting at, was that you could understand the language I'm speaking, and in case you hadn´t noticed, no-one else on this planet can."

"So?"

"That doesn´t strike you as odd?"

"Obviously you implanted it in my head while you were brainwashing me."

"You´re dressed like me."

"You put these clothes on me while…"

"I was brainwashing you. Fine. Let´s try something else. Back at that hut, you knew me, didn´t you?"

"Your voice was familiar, but…"

"There, see, you must get how strange it is that the first thing that rings a bell with you is me. Not Klutz. Me."

"What I remembered was you shouting at me. Your voice…you…made me feel sick, and ill, and lost."

"Crap. I´m sorry, Daniel. I did shout at you, and I am so, so sorry. You did nothing wrong, it was all my fault."

"No, it can´t have been just one fight, or else why would the sight of you make me feel so worthless, as if I would disintegrate if I didn´t get away from you?"

Jack winced, appalled. "Oh god, Daniel. I´ve behaved badly to you; I admit that. I don´t…I never meant to hurt you, and I will change. I´ll be more careful, if you´ll only come back. Please, Daniel, give me another chance. I know it´s hard to believe right now, but we are friends. Best friends. I think I let that get lost along the way and I miss it. I want it back. Please, Daniel, come home."

Daniel looked confused, his face scrunched in confusion. "I…I don´t. That can´t be true. It can´t be. I…Korz loves me. He said so. That has to be true?"

"What?" Instantly angry, Jack instinctively stepped forward, stopping when Daniel took a corresponding step backwards, bringing him dangerously close to the precipice. "Daniel, come away from the edge."

"Stay away from me."

"Okay, okay, I´m away." Jack backed off, controlling himself with difficulty. The idea of a man, of anyone, trying to force Daniel into… "Daniel, what did he do to you? Did he…did he hurt you; touch you? Did he?"

Daniel looked uncomfortable, but shook his head. "He never touched me. He wanted me to…but I wasn´t ready. I wanted time."

"Well, good."

"No, it´s not good. I hurt him. He only wanted to help me, and I refused the one thing he asked of me. It was cruel."

"Cruel how, exactly? Hell, if he loved you as much as he claimed, then he would never have pressured you."

Daniel´s guilty flush told Jack that that thought had occurred to him, too. "No, he wanted to give me time but he explained that it would help me to remember if we, uhm, you know, exchanged…fluids."

"Great line. Right up there with 'do you come here often´ and 'where have you been all my life´. Oh, and let´s not forget the classic, 'I have only three months to live´."

"This isn´t funny. You don´t know what it´s like, knowing nothing about who you are or where you´re from. Korz was there for me."

"He was there because he drugged and abducted you."

"He gave me a past, a life. Something to hold on to. Someone to belong to."

"You belong to me."

Jack´s eyes widened in shock, hearing the echo of his own words, terrified at how completely he meant them. Terrified by his own need. Even more terrified by the surge of possessive satisfaction he felt in saying them. Mostly, he was just terrified, so he panicked.

"Look, this is insane and you know it." Stepping forward, he reached for Daniel, wanting to shake the idea of loving Korz out of his head. Wanting to make him see reason. Wanting…something. Daniel. Wanting Daniel.

Startled, Daniel backed away, shaken when his heels met only air. He wind milled his arms frantically, trying to get his balance. "Jack!"

The soil under his feet began to crumble and he started to slip over the edge. Jack ran, grabbing for him, their fingers brushing as Daniel fell.

I Jack couldn´t seem to move, or even breathe. Daniel was gone. One second he was there, and then he was gone. How was that possible? Jack had been so close, had almost had him.

God, he was so stupid. This was all his fault. He should have been patient, given Daniel time to come to him. Hadn´t he been saying that very thing about Korz? That if he really loved Daniel, then he wouldn´t pressure him, and then he went and did the very same thing. He was an idiot. A stupid, insensitive, brainless jerk. And now Daniel was gone.

"Jack!"

 "Daniel?"  Jack dropped to his knees and peered over the overhang. For the first seven or eight feet, the cliff sloped away sharply before dropping off into the void. Right at the edge of the incline, clinging to a root, was Daniel. Alive. "You´re alive."

"Thanks for that information, now get me the hell up."

"Up, right, yes. Get you up. I´m on it."

Jack ducked back, shrugging off his backpack.

"Jack!"

Scared, Jack looked back over the edge. Daniel was still there, exactly where he had been. "What?"

"I thought you left."

"I wouldn´t leave you, Daniel." He went back to his pack, rifling through it."

"Jack!"

Sighing, Jack leaned out. "What?"

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for rope."

"Oh. Okay."

Jack tipped out the contents of his bag.

"Jack!"

Jack was trying to be patient, he really was. "What now, Daniel?"

"Where are you going to find rope?"

"In my pack."

"Oh. We have rope in our packs?"

"Jeez, Daniel, yes we have rope. At least, I have rope. God knows what you have. Now if it´s okay with you, I´d like to get on with saving your ass."

Jack pulled away, but was back almost immediately. "Daniel, you remember."

"Yeah. It all came back to me when I fell."

"What, your life passed before your eyes?"

"Well, maybe the highlights."

"Sweet. So I´m a highlight?"

"Jack."

"I mean, you said the highlights, and you remember me, so it figures that I´m a highlight."

"As fun as this is, do you think you could pull me up any time soon? I´m not sure how secure this root is."

"No problem. I know how you hate heights."

"That I hadn´t remembered. Thank-you so much for reminding me, Jack."

"I live to serve. Here we go."

Jack grabbed the rope, and then looked for something to tie it to. There was nothing. He looped one end around his own body, dropping the other down to Daniel.

"Grab the rope, Daniel."

"Is it securely tied off?"

"Kinda."

"Jack, what is the rope tied to?"

"Me."

"Well that´s pointless. I´ll just pull you over too."

"No you won´t, it´ll be fine."

"It won´t."

"It will. Look, you´re not going to be hanging from the rope, just using it to help you climb up the slope. All you need is a counterbalance, and that´s me."

"What if I slip?"

"Don´t slip. Come on, Daniel. Climb up. I know you can do it."

Standing well back and braced against the taut rope, all Jack could do was wait and hope. He was desperate to see that Daniel was safe, but all he had to go on was the sound of Daniel´s grumbling as he pulled himself up slowly. He could hear the avalanche of small stones and gravel that shifted under Daniel´s weight, threatening to send him plunging over the edge.

Finally, Daniel emerged, scruffy and pale, hauling himself up and rolling away from the edge to lie gasping on the ground. Jack dropped the rope and walked to Daniel, standing over him, staring down at the face still pinched with fright. Daniel stared back, still panting. Jack reached out a hand and pulled Daniel to his feet, dropping the hand as soon as Daniel was up. He turned and took a few stumbling steps away, breathing hard. Now that Daniel was finally safe, the reaction was starting to bite.

So close. He had been so close to losing Daniel; again. The dread built in his chest, the fear almost incapacitating. He tried to distance himself from it, forcing it down to lie with all the other scary stuff he never wanted to acknowledge. But it was no use. It wouldn´t fit. Too much in his life had been denied, had been forced into the dark recesses of his consciousness, and now it fought to be free. It bubbled up and out, forcing him to recognize his feelings for his closest friend.

He turned and looked at Daniel, standing breathless before him, and for the first time, allowed himself to admit his love. Reaching out, he pulled Daniel close, wrapping him in his arms and capturing his mouth with crushing passion.

For a moment, Daniel seemed to lean into him, and then Jack was flat on his back several feet away. He shook his head to clear the fog, amazed that Daniel was able to throw him so far. When had he gotten so strong? With a jolt of alarm, he realized what he had just done. With a sheepish grimace, he looked up at Daniel´s scandalized face. "Daniel, look…"

"You…you…"

"Daniel…" Jack picked himself up, taking a cautious step closer to his agitated friend.

"No…don´t…I…god, Jack, what were you thinking."

"Thinking is maybe not the right word here. I was…I…dammit, I thought I´d lost you."

"So? You´ve lost me before but you´ve never…never...you know."

"Sure I have; I hugged the crap outta you that time you didn´t die, remember? After we blew up Apophis´ ship…saved the world?"

"Hugged, yeah, but not…you didn´t...didn't…" Daniel gestured wildly between himself and Jack, words totally inadequate to describe his shocked confusion.

"Well no; we were in the gate room."

"So if we hadn´t been in the gate room, you would have…have…"

"Kissed you, Daniel, I kissed you. Believe me, it´s as much of a shock to me as it is to you."

"Huh?"

"Jeez, it´s not like I planned it."

"Jack…"

"What, you think I´ve been hanging around just waiting for the chance to jump your bones?"

"I never said…I mean…why? Why would you do that? It´s not…I mean, I…you´ve never…"

"Daniel, breathe would you, you´re turning blue."

"Jack…"

"I don´t know why, Okay? I just…ah, crap, it was…you…I couldn´t…"  Jack cleared his throat, ducking his head in embarrassment. How could he explain to Daniel what he barely understood himself? All he knew was that he had believed Daniel dead and his world had ended. How do you tell your best friend that life without them would be barren and worthless? Especially if that best friend happened to be a pissy, opinionated, obsessive, compulsively honest and currently dangerously agitated pain in the ass? Crap.

"That´s it? I was and you couldn´t? That´s the best you can come up with?"

"Dammit Daniel…I think…maybe…possibly…I might…uhm…uh…love you? Maybe."

"Well sure, we´re friends, but that doesn´t…"

"No, that´s not…I mean, obviously we´re friends, but that´s not it."

"It´s not?"

"No."

"So, when you say love, you´re not talking 'platonic´ type love, or uhm…"

"Nope. Definitely not platonic."

"Oh. So…"

"Love, Daniel. As in in love. Maybe. Probably. Almost certainly. Who knew?" Jack most certainly had not, and yet every word he had said was true. He was in love with Daniel. No blinding revelation, but rather, an understanding of something that had existed for some time, and the realisation that the repression of this knowledge was the cause of his irritation with Daniel.

The friendship, which had always meant more to Jack than he had cared to admit, now took on new and startling dimensions. But what now? Daniel´s stupefied expression at his declaration was not encouraging, and he had the horrible feeling that he was blushing like a schoolgirl. So not good. "Daniel, some kind of response would be good here…I love you too…never darken my doorstep again…are you nuts…something? Anything?"

"But…but…you can´t. How can you love me? What about Sam?"

"Carter? What about her?"

"You know."

"No, Daniel, I really don´t."

"Sam. It´s supposed to be Sam."

"What is? Oh god, you´re in love with Carter."

"What? No."

"No?"

"What?"

"Daniel, are you in love with Carter?"

"No. You are."

"What?"

"Sam. You love Sam."

"I what?"

"You love Sam."

"I do not."

"Do too."

"Do not. Why would you think that?"

"Because you said so."

"What? When? I did not."

"You did, during that zatarc fiasco."

"No, you got it wrong…and how do you know anyway? We agreed, dammit, nothing was supposed to leave that room."

"Oh, please. We work on a military base. That´s worse than academia for gossip. Nothing stays a secret in a place like that."

"Well isn´t that just peachy. Who told you?"

"I heard some of the nurses talking, so I asked Teal´c, and he confirmed it."

"Teal´c told you I said I loved Carter?"

"Not in so many words. He only said you cared for her, but it was obvious what that meant."

"Wrong, Daniel. I said cared and I meant cared, not love, in love or any variation thereof."

"But…"

"Look, Carter is a great 2IC, and one of the best officers I have ever served with, but I do not love her. I never have loved her, and I never will. You really should know better than to listen to gossip, Daniel."

"But, if you´re not, why have the two of you been behaving the way you have?"

"What?"

"Jack, I hardly ever see you anymore off base, and the way you and Sam behave around me, it´s like…like I don´t matter anymore. I might as well be invisible, and if you do deign to notice me it´s to belittle and demean me."

"God, was I really that bad?"

"Yes. And if it wasn´t because of how you felt about Sam, then why?"

"Because…because I was trying not to know what I felt about you, and having you coming over for beer and pizza made that impossible. So I cut you off and pushed you away, and I am so sorry I hurt you. As for Carter, I guess she was just following my lead; she tends to do that. "

"You know, that almost makes sense in a weird Jackian kind of way."

"So we´re good then?"

"I guess."

"Sweet." With a big grin, Jack reached for Daniel again, shocked when he jerked away. "What are you doing?"

Daniel crossed his arms, deliberately removing himself from Jack. "I could ask you the same thing."

"You said we were cool."

"About you not being in love with Sam, sure. Not about you groping me."

"But I love you. I told you that."

"And what? You suddenly decide that you ‘love me´, and that´s it? I don´t get a say?"

Jack shuffled his feet, shamefaced. "No."

"I´m right, aren´t I, that´s exactly what you were expecting? That all it would take was a declaration from you for me to fall into your arms. God, Jack, what have I ever done to make you think that I would want that kind of relationship with you?"

"You know."

"No, Jack, I really don´t, why don´t you tell me."

"You´re always, you know, so selfless and considerate, and you really care about stuff, and you´re never bothered about what people think about you."

"So because I don´t act like some Neanderthal jackass my masculinity is suspect? I might have expected that from some of the military assholes on the base but I expected better from you. Contrary to popular belief, I´m not blind to what´s going on around me, and I *have* heard the gossip about me and my supposed sexuality. I just never saw the point in denying or confirming something of such negligible importance in my life."

"Daniel…"

"Newsflash Jack, strutting around being macho and beating up on anyone who dares to be different doesn´t make you a ‘real´ man."

"I never said it did."

"You implied it."

"Did not. Open-minded. That´s it. That´s what I was trying to say. You´re open-minded, so I figured you´d be fine about me having feelings for you."

"Don´t go trying to claim the high ground, Jack. You lost that option when you decided to treat me like shit rather than deal with your own emotions. This isn´t about my acceptance of any life style choices you or anyone else might make. It´s about the fact that once again you completely ignored my wishes, my needs. It´s about the fact that you treat me like an accessory, to be picked up and put down as the fancy takes you. It´s about the fact, Jack, that you have no respect for me."

"That´s not fair."

"Isn´t it?"

"Okay, maybe it‘s a little fair, but…"

"Damn right it´s fair. You´ve made my life hell for months. You have no right to expect anything from me."

"But…"

"Don´t interrupt. I´m mad at you and you are going to listen to me this time."

Daniel glared at Jack who wisely kept silent.

"Fine, so, you hurt me, Jack. You hurt me a lot, and I can´t just get over that in a heartbeat because you´ve finally decided to confront your feelings. An hour ago I thought you hated me…"

"An hour ago you didn´t know me from a bag of pork rinds."

"Jack."

"Sorry."

"This morning, I thought you despised me. I was miserable, frustrated, and seriously considering asking for a transfer to another team; one that might actually appreciate my skills."

Shocked, Jack stared at Daniel. How could he have missed the extent of Daniel´s unhappiness? He pressed his knuckles to his lips to stop the hysterical torrent of dread that threatened at the thought of how far he had pushed Daniel.

How could he have so completely failed his friend? Then to expect Daniel to still care for him, to want any kind of relationship with him. He was an idiot. A stupid, brainless idiot. He didn´t deserve Daniel. Daniel should leave him. Daniel should…"

"Jack?"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay? You don´t look so good. You kinda vegged out on me there. Still, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you would rather do anything, even daydream, rather than talk to me."

Panicked, Jack grabbed Daniel´s arms, gripping tightly. "Daniel, I´m sorry. I swear I wasn´t ignoring you. I was, I…don´t leave Daniel. Please don´t leave. The truth is I was scared. The way I felt about you, it was…unexpected, and I guess it was easier to be mad at you than to deal with those feelings. And it wasn´t just the physical attraction, although that was confusing enough. It was everything. Your expectations of me, your belief that I would do the right thing no matter the cost.

I´m a soldier, Daniel, I´ve been a soldier for all of my adult life. For me, the right thing always meant following orders and achieving the mission objectives. You made me question that. For you, the only right thing is the moral thing; the decent and honourable thing. I think what scared me the most was that I might not be a good enough man to even recognise that kind of right thing, let alone do it.

So I pushed you away. I isolated you and put you down because I was too much of a coward to face my fears. I know how wrong it was to take out my frustrations on you, Daniel, and I think I knew it at the time, but that just made me feel guilty, and then I blamed you for that too. It was a vicious circle I couldn´t break out of. But please believe, Daniel, it was never you. You did nothing wrong. It was all me. Me and my damn fears.

I´m sorry. I don´t know what I can do to make it up to you, but I know it would be wrong for you to be forced off SG-1 because of my mistakes. If you feel you can´t work with me anymore, then I should be the one to go. Maybe I should retire anyway considering the way I´ve screwed up the team."

"No, I don´t want that, I could never want that."

"Then what do you want, Daniel? Tell me what I can do to make things better."

"I just want what we used to have. You used to be so protective, so concerned, always watching out for me, but then you weren´t, and I had no idea why. Do you have any idea how often I´ve woken up in the infirmary alone? I want that to stop. I want my friend back. I want my team back. I want to go back to a time when you still listened to me, before Sam´s opinion was the only one that you considered."

"Daniel…"

"And don´t say that it isn´t that bad because it is. We were a team once, but now it´s all you and Sam, with Teal´c and me hovering in the background. Teal´c can sometimes get your attention in a combat situation, but me, I´m just white noise to you now."

"Daniel…"

"I can´t tell you how much that meant to me, to be part of something so special. I was so lost when I came back from Abydos. Shar´e was gone; I had left the only true family I had known since my parents died. I was alone. Then you found me. You offered me a place to stay, companionship; you even let me wear your clothes until I could get some of my own. And most important, you gave me hope and a focus for my life when you convinced General Hammond to let me join SG-1.

You became the closest friend I had ever had, and I was so grateful to you for that, but then it hurt even more when you took that away from me. And I didn´t just lose you, I lost it all. Sam used to come to me all the time. We had so much fun bouncing ideas off each other, just to see where it would take us. Then, when it came to the life or death stuff, we knew how to work together, because we´d learnt how when we played at solving the small stuff. That never happens anymore. I can´t remember the last time Sam asked my opinion, or bothered to include me in any part of her life. I guess she´s so preoccupied with you that she has no time for me."

Jack winced, knowing that was true. He had never meant to, but in trying to stifle his feelings for Daniel, he had turned to Carter. She was an attractive, intelligent woman, everything he had been raised to desire. So he persuaded himself that he *did* desire her. He started to flirt with her, and she flirted back. It was safe. Nothing could ever come of it, and they both knew that, so there was no risk. Just a safe, harmless flirtation. Or not. Seems he was wrong about that too.

"There was never anything between Carter and me. It was all just…make-believe."

"For you, maybe, but what about Sam? She loves you. It may have started out as hero-worship and infatuation, but you let her believe that you returned her feelings, and things change when the object of your affections loves you back. You gave her expectations, Jack."

"I never promised her anything."

"Yes, you did. Every longing look and regretful sigh promised her something you never had any intention of delivering. You used her."

"No more than she used me."

"What do you mean? Used you how?"

"As an excuse. For a long time, it was Jolinar, and then it was me."

"What are you talking about? Jolinar? Jack, you know how distressed she was after Jolinar died."

"I´m not saying she wasn´t upset, only that the possibility of some remnant of Jolinar affecting her decisions only became an issue when she wanted to get herself out of a situation without conflict. The truth is, she didn´t really want either Martouf, or Narim for that matter, but she didn´t want to let them go completely either, so she used Jolinar as the reason not to get involved. Said she needed to be sure she was feeling her own feelings and not Jolinar´s. It was an easy out for her."

"That´s a perfectly valid reason."

"It is not. It´s lame. She just wasn´t prepared to make a commitment, but she didn´t want to admit that, even to herself."

"But Jack, you´re not talking about dating for awhile to see what happens. She would have to leave everything, leave Earth, with no guarantee that things would work out."

"Like you did for Shar´e."

"That was different."

"Yes, it was, because when you care for someone, you don´t hold back. You were willing to give up everything for the chance of a life with Shar´e. Carter wasn´t. She never has been. Look at Cassie."

"Oh come on. You can´t say she doesn´t adore Cassie. My god, she was prepared to die rather than leave her alone and scared."

"I know. I know she would die for Cassie, but she wouldn´t live for her. When Cassie needed a home, it didn´t even occur to her to offer her one. Sure, she was happy that Janet took her, because then she could be the perfect aunt. She could have all of the joys of having a child with none of the responsibilities."

"Sam did want Cassie, but it made more sense that Janet would adopt her. Sam´s on a front line team, the risks are…"

"She doesn´t have to be, Daniel. She could easily take over the R&D department, or lead a science team. She had those options, but she would have let Cassie go rather than leave SG-1. Janet knew that, so she stepped in, and once again, Carter got everything she wanted without having to make any of the tough choices. And you know, she still wouldn´t make that choice, that´s why Janet…never mind."

"What? Jack, what about Janet?"

"Daniel, look, Janet Knows Carter, probably better than anyone. They´re best friends, and because she cares for her, she accepts her limitations. When she adopted Cassie, she made a will. She asked me to be Cassie´s guardian if anything happened to her, because she knew that if it came to it, I would put Cassie first. Before the SGC, before my career, before everything. And Daniel, if for whatever reason, I wasn´t around, you were her second choice, not Carter."

Daniel looked shocked. "Me? But…why me? Surely, Sam…"

"Daniel, if Shifu hadn´t had Oma, would you have taken him?"

"Of course I would."

"And that´s why you. You understand about love and responsibility in a way Carter doesn´t. Janet knows you would do whatever was necessary to keep Cassie safe and happy."

"What about you, Jack? Do you understand about love and responsibility, or is all of this just a justification for the way you´ve treated Sam? You don´t want to believe that you´ve hurt her, so you´re telling yourself that she doesn´t really care. Well, I don´t buy that, Jack. I´ve seen the way she is around you."

"I admit I was wrong to behave the way I did, but I don´t believe that Carter is truly in love with me. How can she be when we can never be equals? Even if I retired, I would still be 'Sir´ to her. For her to be with me, she would have to compromise so much of who she is. Her career would be screwed. I guarantee, even if I was no longer her C.O., no-one would believe she got where she did on her own merits. All her achievements, everything she´s worked for, would all be for nothing, because she´s a woman, and for way too many people, a relationship with me would prove that she´d slept her way into every promotion."
 
"But if she loved you…"

"No, Daniel. Carter could never love anyone that much. I don´t think she has it in her, and that´s why what we have now is so perfect for her. She can tell herself that she´s in love with me, but she can´t have me, and that absolves her from having a genuine relationship. She wants the fantasy because the real thing terrifies her. It would mean a commitment, making that choice."

Daniel frowned, considering. "I don´t know. Maybe. I hope so, because if you´re wrong she´s going to be devastated."

"Great. All I need to do now is upset Teal´c and I´ve got the hat trick."

"Do you really think you haven´t already?"

"Oh come on, what have I done to Teal´c?"

"Think about it, Jack. Teal´c left everything, his home, his family; he became an outcast amongst his own people because he believed in you. He believed that you could make a difference. That if he fought with us he could free his people. SG-1 is as important to him as it is to me, and he´s had to stand by and watch you destroy it. He won´t say anything because he´s… well. Teal´c, but he´s got to be wondering if it was all worth it; if maybe he made a mistake."

"He didn´t. I´ve let things slide, but things are going to be different now. I promise."

"But can you promise that, Jack. You asked me earlier if I could work with you, but can you work with me? I´ve seen the harm your interest in Sam caused, and the last thing I want is for the same to happen with me."

"It won´t."

"How can you know that?"

"Because you´re not Carter. You wouldn´t let me get away with that kind of self-indulgent behaviour. You´re good for me, Daniel, in a way Carter never could be. She encourages the worst in me, and you bring out the best."

Daniel´s eyes widened at Jack´s obvious sincerity. "Jack…"

"Sir."

Jack spun around to face Sam as she and Teal´c rushed into the clearing.

"Carter, Teal´c. Good to see you guys."

"It is good to see you also, O´Neill, but better to see you, DanielJackson."

"Thanks´ Teal´c. Good to be seen."

"Are you okay, Daniel? You were unconscious when Tyron dragged me away, and when I heard you were missing, I thought…"

"Sam, I´m fine."

"Apart from the amnesia."

Daniel scowled at Jack as both Sam and Teal´c looked instantly concerned.

"You have amnesia?"

"Clearly not, since I remember both you and Teal´c."

"But you did have it."

"Yes, Jack, I did, but I don´t now."

"But Daniel, if you have a concussion…"

"He doesn´t have a concussion, Carter. At least, he might have, but that wasn´t what caused the amnesia. He was drugged."

Sam looked from Jack´s smirk to Daniel´s furious glare. "Drugged?"

"Drugged." Jack raised his eyebrows at Daniel, as though daring him to disagree.

Daniel shrugged, trying for nonchalant, but not quite making it. "Okay, yes, I was drugged, but it wore off when I fell off the cliff."

Jack stifled a laugh at Sam´s incredulous look. Even Teal´c went so far as to raise an eyebrow.

"You appear to have experienced an eventful afternoon, DanielJackson. It would perhaps be wise to deliver you to DoctorFraiser without delay."

"But I´m fine now. And there´s still so much here to explore. What about those Mother ships, Jack? Don´t you want to see what´s there?"

"They´ve been there for thousands of years. I think they´ll wait a few more days."

"So we will come back?"

Jack gulped as Daniel gave him a full blast of puppy eyes. "Someone will, yes. I can´t guarantee it will be us."

"But…"

"Daniel, you were drugged. We have no idea what, if any, lasting effects there could be. Which is why we´re going straight to the Stargate and back to the SGC to get you checked out."

"We can´t just leave, Jack. We have to let Ganfeld and the other elders know I´m okay or they´ll worry. Besides, there´s Korz and Tyron. I don´t know what kind of laws they have here, but I´m sure kidnapping would be considered wrong. There might be some kind of hearing, or a trial."

"Much as I would like to rip out Klutz´ eyeballs and pickle them in vinegar, right now, I´m more concerned about getting you home. Carter too, since she was snatched as well."

"Oh my god, I completely forgot. Sam, I´m so sorry, I don´t know how I could be so thoughtless. Of course we should go right back if you´re hurt."

"But I'm not. I wasn´t hurt at all. Tyron just wanted to convince me what a good husband he would make, so he mostly just danced, and…uh…posed.

Jack stared at her, incredulous. "He posed? The dancing we saw, but posing? What was that all about?"

"I think he was trying to show off his muscles. It was all very Mister Universe."

"My god, this guy sounds like John Travolta and Arnold Schwarzenegger´s love child. What a peach, you sure you don´t want to get hitched to him, Carter?"

"I think I´ll pass, Sir."

"So, if Sam´s okay, we could…"

"No, we couldn´t, Daniel."

"But Jack, we can´t just leave. Look, they´re probably all still at Korz´ hut. We could easily swing by on our way to the gate."

"It would, perhaps be prudent to notify the Majuni that DanielJackson is well. Would they not more readily allow us to remove recovered Goa´uld technology should they believe us to be considerate allies? It would surely be diplomatic to alleviate any misgivings under which they labour, believing that we might, perhaps hold the entire population accountable for the reprehensible actions of the few. While it is true that DanielJackson was ill-treated and his life endangered, they could not know that one of their own would so abuse the hospitality offered to travellers whose only wish was to set up a trade agreement of benefit to all.

Jack looked impressed. "You mean we should guilt them into giving us what we want?"

"Indeed."

"I like the way you think, T, but still…"

"Actually, Sir, we should try to get a sample of whatever Daniel was drugged with for Janet to analyse."

"Hey, this is not a democracy, guys. I am the Colonel, ergo I am in command. I make the decisions, and on reflection, I have decided that we will now go to the Stargate, making one brief stop en route to update the Majuni and to pick up a sample of the drug. A brief stop, Daniel. Any questions?"

Daniel looked relieved. "A wise choice, Jack. It really is important that we maintain relations with these people. You know, the history of this planet is fascinating. I think it´s entirely likely that the people here were the very first humans transplanted from Earth. Do you realise what…"

"Daniel…"

The wisecrack was on the tip of his tongue almost before he realised it. The joke that was not really a joke. The put down, the words that would silence Daniel and leech away his passion. He bit them back, instead smiling encouragingly at Daniel. "Daniel, we should start heading back. You can tell us all about it on the way."

Daniel looked surprised for a moment, and then happily continued with his story, Teal´c asking the occasional question as he walked protectively by Daniel´s side. Jack followed, content to just listen. And he did listen. For the first time in way too long, he really listened to Daniel.

Part 2
 
A month. A whole month of forgetting where, and even who he was. A month of wandering the base looking for his office, the mess hall, his quarters, and then forgetting what he was looking for in the first place. Almost worse were the times when his memory was working perfectly, and yet everyone still treated him like a lost child.

And then there was Jack. He sighed, sitting on the bench to pull on his boots. Jack. Jack had been attentive, considerate, thoughtful and understanding. Jack had been his friend. When Daniel had complained about the anxiety of those first few minutes awake with no knowledge of his surroundings, Jack had made a giant banner to hang at the foot of his bed stating boldly, 'I AM DANIEL JACKSON. THIS IS THE SGC. I NEED TO GO GET COFFEE.´ And that was enough. His memories would return and the fear would recede.

Whenever it all became too much, and he only wanted was to escape, Jack would be there, ready with the bad jokes and the gentle nonsense that made everything more bearable. Since Daniel was confined to the base, Jack had refused to leave too. He had found an out of the way store room and claimed it as SG-1´s personal rec room, shipping in a couple of ratty but comfortable old couches and an impressive wide screen plasma TV. There, several nights a week over pizzas and beer, the team nights had begun again and SG-1 had gradually re-formed the bonds so weakened by Jack´s alienation of Daniel.

Jack had done everything he´d promised, everything Daniel had asked of him, and not once had he mentioned his feelings for Daniel, or his hopes for a relationship between the two of them. Daniel could almost believe that their confrontation on the cliff edge had been an illusion brought on by the poison invading his body, if not for the looks. Daniel would catch them sometimes if he turned unexpectedly to Jack. Sad, longing looks as he watched Daniel, full of hunger and loss that would be banished and replaced by the familiar wry grin as soon as he knew himself observed.

He no longer flirted with Sam. He was open and friendly, but any hint of intimacy was gone. She had seemed confused at first, unsure of how to react to a change of which she wasn´t even fully aware. But Jack was right, she did always follow his lead, and she soon fell into the old pattern of respectful familiarity. Daniel´s mind eased, confident now that she would not suffer a broken heart. She clearly still cared for Jack, but without his encouragement, she had no reason to romanticize her emotions, and they would die a natural death. She could move on. She would have a chance to find someone who would genuinely appreciate and love her, and she would. Jack had to be wrong about that, because the thought of Sam spending her whole life alone was too terrible to contemplate. Yes, Sam was sometimes scared of love, but who wasn´t? There was so much love in her; she just needed to find the right person to give it to. So, that was good.

Everything was good. Daniel should be happy. He should be delighted at getting back everything he had lost. If Jack was still a little distant around him, well. And so what if Jack no longer touched him in any way, that was to be expected. It would take time for them to get past Jack´s declaration of love, but he was sure it would happen. Someday. Jack would fall out of love with him and they could get back to normal. Be best friends again. Just as he wanted. Everything was good. So why did he feel as though he had lost something infinitely precious?

"Daniel?"

Startled, Daniel turned to smile at Jack. "You sound surprised to see me. This is my locker, you know."

"I know it´s your locker, Daniel. I´m just used to seeing you rushing past me to get to it about five minutes before we´re due to leave. Hence the surprise at seeing you here so bright and early."

"Yeah, well, after a month stuck on the base I can´t wait to get out of here."

"But you´re okay now, right? The drug´s completely cleared your system?"

"Yes, no more wandering into the gym when I´m supposed to be going for popcorn and gummy bears."

"You gotta admit that was funny. There was I, Carter and Teal´c, sacked out on the couch, all set to start the Marx Brothers marathon, just waiting for the munchies, and there you were, stomach crunching and sparring with the marines."

"Then you went to look for me just minutes before I arrived after remembering where I was supposed to be, and Sam had to go find you, but she stopped off at her lab and got distracted by that doohickey SG-3 brought back from P3Y 669, so Teal´c went after *her*."

"And then you forgot why you were in our rec room alone, and went back to your office, so, after searching the entire base, I came back to find an empty room."

Daniel grinned up at Jack, warm and happy. He stared into Jack´s eyes, his laughter stilled by the depth of affection and love he saw reflected there. He couldn´t look away from Jack, searching his face as Jack gazed back, both of them completely riveted on the other. Abruptly, Daniel realised that the moment had gone on too long, had gone beyond two friends sharing a joke. He opened his mouth, but no words came to him. Then the spell was broken.

Jack cleared his throat, turning to his locker and fiddling with the lock. "So, all better then."

Daniel stared at Jack´s tense back, still a little lost, unsure of what they had just shared.

"Daniel?"

Jack was looking at him now, concerned. Daniel blinked up at him, smiling weakly. "Uhm, yeah, I´m fine now, thanks."

"Good, good, glad to hear it. I can´t believe how long this has taken. I mean, your memory was back, right?"

"Apparently only temporarily, and only thanks to the adrenaline rush of falling off a cliff."

"Adrenaline?"

"Yes. And once the adrenaline was gone, the drug re-asserted itself. Janet says the drug was designed to work in conjunction with certain hormones, but that made it vulnerable to others."

"So what, Klutz was going to keep feeding you that crap for the rest of your life and hope nothing got you upset?"

"No, he wouldn´t have had to if…uh…if  we…uhm…you know."

"Daniel, I can safely say I have no idea what you´re talking about."

"Oh, uhm, well, before you got there, Korz kept telling me that the best way for me to get my memories back was for us to…uh…re-establish our physical connection. Sexually."

Daniel risked a quick glance at Jack, suppressing a smirk as Jack ground his teeth, his face darkening. The depth of his gratification at Jack´s jealous scowl was unexpected and somewhat disturbing. "According to Janet, The drug would have bonded with the high levels of testosterone and dopamine released during sexual arousal, and that would have set it permanently."

"Permanently how?"

"I would have believed and trusted in him absolutely. Whatever lies he chose to give me, I would have accepted as truth, and no-one would have been able to convince me otherwise, or turn me against him."

"God, that´s…"

"I know."

"I guess we should be grateful the guy had at least enough integrity not to try and force you."

"Actually, no we shouldn´t. Adrenaline, remember? He couldn´t risk pushing me so far that I´d panic and release enough adrenaline to remember that…"

"That you had never met that treacherous, two-faced, lying son of a bitch before in your life. Bastard."

"Yeah. I think I was lucky, because I´m sure he was getting really close to taking a chance. I could see he was getting frustrated at my continued reluctance. He kept giving me more and more of the stuff, but it made no difference. It wasn´t supposed to be like that. The drug was supposed to make me completely receptive to him. If it had worked as it was meant to, then I would have voluntarily submitted to his desires. But while it gave me the amnesia, the suggestibility was way weaker than it should have been."

"Why didn´t it take, did Janet know?"

"Anti-histamines."

"Anti-histamines?"

"Yes. The injections I have to get for my allergies diluted the drug´s effectiveness."

"Like with the touched virus?"

"Pretty much."

"Sweet. Who knew hay fever would be such a plus for gate travel."

"Yup. Makes all the sneezing meaningful."

Again, Daniel laughed up at Jack, wanting to be his focus, unconsciously craving the connection they had both sensed before, but it was not to be. Jack avoided his gaze, futzing with his vest straps and checking his pockets.

Daniel sighed, pulling his backpack onto his lap and hugging it to his chest. "Anyway, it´s all over now. Korz has been punished…"

"Hah. Not hardly."

"Jack, he lost everything."

"I can think of a couple of things he´s still got that it would give me great pleasure to see him lose."

"Ja-ack."

"Oh come on, do you honestly believe that having his stuff taken away is a severe enough punishment for what he did."

"Yes, I do."

"But it´s just stuff."

"Yes, all his stuff. We´re not talking about a few easily replaceable assets, like Tyron having to hand over the dowry he pledged to Sam in spite of not getting her as a wife. This was everything he owned. Anything I wouldn´t take they destroyed. God, they even burnt down his home. For a man like Korz, his status in the community and the value of his possessions are intrinsic to his own view of his self-worth. The loss of both would be a devastating blow to his ego."

"Okay, so he´s hard up for awhile. They haven´t prohibited him from practising his witch doctorey mumbo jumbo, so he can make it all back, right?"

"I´m not so sure about that. He didn´t just dabble in dubious love potions and stick pins in dolls. He was the closest thing they had to a real doctor. His remedies worked, Jack. That´s why the villagers were so wary of him, because he had the power to withhold vital medications on a whim. He literally held the power of life or death over them, but that´s all changed now. Assuming we continue to trade with them…"

"Which we most certainly will be, since the Pentagon has been going apeshit over the goodies we´ve already salvaged from those mother ships."

"So there you are. The deal we made includes medical aid, and that´s going to cut the ground out from under him. Oh, sure, people will still go to him for the trivial things; salves to clear the skin, ointments to make your hair grow, paltry insignificant things, but he won´t be vital any more. He´ll be powerless, existing on the fringes of society. For him, this punishment is absolute."

Jack chuckled, remembering Korz´ incensed expression as he was forced to watch a lifetime of hoarded riches go up in smoke. "Yeah, I guess he did look like his nose hairs were being ripped out by the roots. Good, he deserves to suffer."

"Oh he will, trust me."

Daniel´s eyes opened wide as he realised what he had said. Trust me. And hadn´t that been the root of his difficulties with Jack; the lack of trust. At least, he had believed that to be the case, before Jack had stunned him with his declaration of love. So stupid to mention trust now. What was he thinking, reminding Jack of what had to be a painful moment for him. Not that he expected Jack to be crushed just because the love wasn´t returned. Still, rejection was rejection, and he would hate Jack to think Daniel was trying to rub his face in it.

"Jack, I…"

"Daniel, it´s okay, and I do trust you."

Jack´s voice was gentle, an apology. Daniel looked away, accepting sadly that this would be the way of things between them until Jack felt he had fully atoned for his sins against Daniel. It wasn´t what he wanted, this constant regret standing between them like a wall, but what could he do? What was there to do but wait, and hope that time would heal the rift.

"Daniel, I…look, I know I have no right to expect anything from you, but…"

"What?" Startled, Daniel realised that he had allowed himself to drift. That in his preoccupation Jack had seen suspicion. "No, Jack, I didn´t mean…I got distracted, that´s all. I know you trust me. You said so, and I believe you."

Daniel sighed as Jack nodded sadly in the awkward silence. This was so hard, to have to be so careful, when every word or gesture could so easily be misunderstood. He missed the ease between them. The effortless friendship before everything had become so confused. Yes, this was hard, but getting Jack back in his life was worth the effort. He just had to try harder.

"So, Jack, the Pentagon is happy with what we´ve found?"

"Hell, yeah. Practically squealing with glee. You were right about the villagers only wanting the shiny stuff. One of the armouries was practically intact, and sure, the sarcophagus doesn´t work, but the techies have been having a whale of a time taking it apart and playing with the pieces."

"Jack, they are being careful, right? I mean, that thing can…"

"Suck out your soul. Yes, they know that, and yes, I´m sure they´re being careful. Mostly, they want to find out how the healing works, and then try to apply it to more conventional medicine."

"Is that even possible?"

"Asking the wrong person, here, Daniel."

"Right, what was I thinking? I´ll ask Sam. I´ve really let things slide since we got back."

"Not your fault, Daniel."

"I guess."

"What about your guys, have they found out anymore about the cultural history of the people?"

Pleased at Jack´s unanticipated interest, Daniel nodded happily. "Yes. Ganfeld had a whole bunch of scrolls tucked away in a chest. A lot of them are past saving, but a good number are still readable. Also, the society has an astonishing oral tradition. Stories are passed down word for word, the children learning them in school like the times tables."

"Sweet. Daniel, I´m sorry it couldn´t be you, going back there."

"I know. I understand why it couldn´t be. I make them feel guilty and uncomfortable, and that doesn´t smooth the way for successful negotiations. Maybe when things settle down, I can go back for a visit." Daniel paused a moment, smiling hesitantly at Jack. "I…uhm, I´ve been meaning to thank you for this mission. I realise that it´s compensation for what happened, and I do appreciate the thought."

"Hey, thank Feretti. He´s the one who suggested that a temple cut into a mountain, with literal writing on the walls, was right up your street."

"Maybe, but you could have turned it down, after all, we are a first contact team, and from what I´ve heard, this planet is fascinating, but not strategically significant."

"It´s significant to you. I figured you´d earned the chance to do a little digging in the dirt, and Hammond agreed."

Once again, their gazes caught and held, drawn together, each losing himself in the other. The cradling warmth of their affections united them, urging Daniel to consider, what if?

"Jack, I…"

"Sir, are we ready?"

They snapped away from each other, Daniel burying his head in his books as Jack turned to Sam."

"Just waiting on Teal´c, Carter."

"I am present, O´Neill. I need only retrieve my pack. DanielJackson, it is good to see you recovered. You have been missed."

"Thank-you, Teal´c."

"Well, good. So, we´re all set, let´s get moving. Wouldn´t want to keep that temple waiting."

Jack ushered Sam and Teal´c out, casting one quick look back at Daniel, wanting to give him a little time to pull himself together. Grateful, Daniel watched them go, watched Jack go. He could feel something shifting inside him, the landscape of his mind tilting and re-aligning as previously sealed doors flung opened. What had seemed so clear before was now clouded in uncertainty. What if he had been wrong to dismiss Jack so brusquely? He cared for Jack so much. From the very beginning, their friendship had been so much more, so much deeper than either had anticipated. He had never, not even during the worst of their fighting, doubted Jack´s importance to his happiness, so why had he been so quick to reject the idea of a deeper relationship?

Slowly, he packed the last of his books and got to his feet, following after his team-mates, still deep in thought. For the first time, he allowed himself to wonder. He allowed himself to consider different possibilities.

"Daniel, oh, Daniel?" Jack watched, amused, as an oblivious Daniel wandered open mouthed around the cavernous room. "O-kay, talking to myself here."

Sam laughed as Daniel tipped his books out, sorting them into neat piles, muttering to himself distractedly as he did so. "I thought Ferretti was joking about the writing on the wall, Sir, but this? Amazing. I´m not surprised Daniel´s off in la-la land, this place must be heaven for him."

"Happy as a pig in shit."

"That is an unwarranted observation, O´Neill. DanielJackson has always demonstrated exemplary standards of hygiene. I see no reason to believe that he would take pleasure in excrement."

"It´s an expression Teal´c, it just means that he´s as happy as…as, a very happy person. Crap, you´re messing with me, aren´t you?"

Teal´c spared a brief glance at Jack, the ever-expressive eyebrow raised before turning away, just a hint of a smug smile on his lips.

"No respect. I get no respect. Fine, whatever, Carter, Teal´c, go take a look around, and Carter, if you find anything really heavy, that you think might, conceivably be of even the smallest use, get Teal´c to haul it back. I´ll stay here on Danielwatch, since I don´t see us getting him out of this room anytime soon."

"So, to clarify, locate any and all bulky, hefty appliances of dubious value and load them on Teal´c. Got it, Sir. I´m sure Teal´c will have no trouble with the heavy lifting; he´s very strong."

"I am indeed, very strong. The bearing of cumbersome objects will be most welcome exercise."

Laughing, Jack waved them off, then turned back to where Daniel worked on, too engrossed in the room to notice that half his team had gone. Jack couldn´t blame him. Sure, he, personally, would be more impressed by a bunch of huge, honking space guns, but even he could appreciate the 'wow´ factor of this place.

When Ferretti had said a temple built into the mountain, Jack had assumed a structure of somewhat more modest proportions, certainly nothing like this. Room after room, each one more elaborately decorated. Gold covered pillars and graceful arches. Mostly intact mosaics covered entire walls, glittering vibrantly. And that was the most astonishing of all, how bright it was so far inside the mountain.  

The light came from above, through long channels cut into the rock, reflected off a series of colossal mirrors ornamented with delicate tracery, like fat lacy pillows.

That had surprised him at first, until he remembered watching 'The Mummy´ with Daniel. He smiled as he remembered. Daniel always claimed to hate those sorts of movies, but Jack didn´t buy it. After all, if he really hated them, why would he watch? But no, he would never miss the chance to start in with the running commentary, happily bitching about the mistakes, gleefully pointing out all the historical inaccuracies. After one near lynching at the local multiplex, which only Teal´c´s imposing presence had averted, Jack had learned to stick with his home cinema system to enhance their viewing pleasure, not to mention safety.

But the mirrors in 'The Mummy´ he had approved of. When Brendan Fraser had shot at the mirror, tipping it up and illuminating all the treasures of the tomb, Daniel had nodded sagely, following up with a lecture, most of which Jack had tuned out, on the genius of ancient Egyptian lighting; Ikea beware.
 
Still, knowing in theory about the mirror thing didn´t stop it from being way cool in action. Daniel´s ecstasy factor had kicked in fast, leaving him too dazed to explain much of anything, able only to point open-mouthed at each new wonder with a stunned, 'look´, and, a 'do you see that?´.

His excitement had been rapidly escalating, reaching the stratosphere when they had found this central chamber. And no wonder. It was huge. As big as a football stadium and as high as the mountain itself. Immense pillars reached upwards like giant redwoods, to support great slabs of tinted glass, bathing them in warmth and colour. It was like walking into a prism.

And if all that wasn´t enough, every wall, every pillar, even parts of the floor, were covered in bright gold lettering. This place had to be Nirvana for Daniel.

He watched as Daniel moved along the walls, fingers tracing the raised lettering, lips moving as he silently read. He watched the light surround Daniel, bathing him in gold, and red, and blue, lighting his hair aflame and turning his skin translucent. He watched as Daniel moved from wall to pillar and then tilted his head back, turning around and around, trying to take it all in. He was a child let loose in the toy factory, awestruck, trying to decide what to play with first. Jack watched it all, only one clear thought in his head; this is impossible.

He must have been insane to think he could go on working with Daniel, seeing him every day, being close to him, but never being allowed to touch. It was impossible. The awkwardness in the gear up room certainly proved that. He just hadn´t been able to help himself. Daniel had been right there, being, being Daniel. So bright eyed, and intense and passionate. He had been stupid. Impossible to look away from Daniel, to break that eye contact. Jack had felt so close to him, so connected, that for a moment he had fooled himself into believing that there was more there than friendship. God, he wanted more.

But Daniel didn´t. Daniel wanted his friendship, and only his friendship. He had made that quite clear, and Jack needed to respect that decision. His desires were his own business and best kept to himself. Daniel didn´t want him. Daniel wasn´t interested. Daniel wasn´t his to look at, and never would be.

He was going to have to go back on his word. He had promised Daniel that everything was going to work out. That he could work through his feelings and everything would be as it had been. As Daniel wanted it to be. But he couldn´t. He wasn´t strong enough, and so he was going to hurt Daniel again.

At least this time, Daniel would have his team. He would have Carter and Teal´c. Because Jack had to be the one to go. At least he could give Daniel that. Daniel would be hurt, and being Daniel, he would be upset for Jack. He would worry that it was his fault Jack was losing what he loved, and that wasn´t fair. It wasn´t true. Well, it was, in as much as Daniel was what Jack loved, and Jack would be losing him. But that wasn´t Daniel´s fault. It wasn´t Daniel´s fault that he couldn´t love Jack, it was just the way it was.

The truth was Daniel didn´t really need him. Not really. Not anymore. He had once, but Jack´s neglect had forced him back into self-sufficiency. Sure, Daniel would miss him, but he would get over it and get on with his life. And Jack would get on with his. It wouldn´t be much of a life without Daniel, but Jack would get on with it regardless. What choice did he have, after all?"

Sighing, Jack leaned back against the wall, sliding down to sit, still watching Daniel. Never taking his eyes off Daniel. God, this was impossible.

Daniel knew he should get out his camera and start filming, because no way would he have time to translate everything here, there was just so much. Sure, he could recommend that someone come back to do a more in depth study, and the General would certainly agree, but it wouldn´t be him. This was it, for him. Smash and grab archaeology.

Sighing, Daniel reached for his pack, and then stopped. If this was all the time he had, he would make the most of it. He needed to get a feel for this place, and he couldn´t do that stuck behind the lens of a camera. Filming could wait.

He had no right to complain, really. He had accepted from the start that SG-1 was a first contact team, and that this was how things would be. Never enough time, his finds handed over to someone else to interpret. If he wanted to stay with his team, he would have to live with that, and he did want to stay; very much.

He had been alone for so long, keeping everyone at a distance, staying safe and untouched behind his walls. Not even Sha´re had made it all the way through. Oh, he loved her, and he loved his life on Abydos, but in so many ways, it had felt like another foster home. One of the good ones, but impermanent nonetheless. He had been made welcome, loved, included, but he had never been *one* of them. How could he be, when his life had been so different. He was the alien, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he had always known that he would return to Earth. It was the same for Teal´c, now. He was a part of the SGC, of SG-1, but they all knew that someday, his loyalties to the Jaffa people would demand his attention, and he would go.

He had expected things to be the same at the SGC. To be the outsider, tolerated only for his knowledge, and at first, that was how things were. Then they changed; because of Jack, but not for the reasons that Jack believed. Jack assumed that it was his compassion and support for Daniel´s situation, his offers of friendship that had pulled Daniel in. But he was wrong. Daniel had recognised something in him, an emptiness that had called out in pain. The truth was, that Jack was the first person in his life who had *needed* him, and for Daniel, who had spent too much of his life unwanted, that need was irresistible.

He felt Jack´s pain, and in his desire to save Jack, he saved himself, too, because when he lowered his defences to let Jack in, he found more than just a friend. For the first time since his parents deaths, he gave himself completely, and in giving, he received. Yes, sometimes he got hurt, but the rewards were worth it. He had people who depended on him. Who relied on him to be there for him. He had a family. And at the centre of it all was Jack, who was so much a part of him now that he couldn´t imagine a life without him.

He looked to where Jack sat against the wall, head down, lost in thought. Was that why he had reacted so violently to Jack´s declaration of love? Fear that if he gave this one last part of himself to Jack, there would be no going back. He already loved Jack, trusted him more than anyone. Maybe it was time to let go of his uncertainties, to stop hiding from what his heart knew.

Well, this was different. Daniel frowned at the vivid red slashed into the stone. No delicate gold calligraphy here. This was more like graffiti; rough letters gouged out and garishly dyed. This was deliberate, needing to be noticed; a warning.

He read the words with increasing alarm as the meaning became clear.

"Jack?"

Springing up at the urgency in Daniel´s tone, Jack strode towards him. "Is there a problem?"

"Um, I´m not sure. Did the geologists mention anything about this planet being unstable?"

"Not that I know of. Should they have?"

"I don´t know. I mean, it was a long time ago, and there don´t seem to be any signs of anything recent."

"Okay, that makes things no clearer."

"Oh, right, sorry. So, this place was dedicated to Ra. I have no idea why he himself left, only that he did, leaving behind a small contingent of his Jaffa to watch over the place and keep the population sufficiently adoring."

"Daniel, fascinating as this is, could we please cut to the chase. If there´s danger here, I need to know about it."

"There was an earthquake. Probably."

"Probably?"

"Well, the inscription says that the ground trembled and the walls shook, so I´m guessing that equals earthquake."

"A big one?"

"Yes. Big enough to collapse the living quarters at the rear of the temple, killing all the jaffa and priests. The people took it as a sign that their God was angry with them, so they cleared up the debris, buried their dead, and took off."

"And you know all this because?"

"Before they left they carved out a warning on the wall. Abandon all hope, kind of thing. They believed this place to be cursed."

"This was a long time ago, right?"

"Yes. Centuries at least, probably millennia."

"And not even a tremor since?"

"I don´t think so. I mean, if there had been, I think we´d have seen more damage."

"So what are the odds on the next big one hitting at the exact same time as our visit?"

Daniel started to answer, and then stopped as a faint rumbling echoed in the distance and the floor beneath his feet suddenly seemed less solid. "Oh, I´d say pretty good."

"Oh, for crying out loud, I jinxed us." Reaching up, he keyed in his radio. "Carter, Teal´c?"

"Already on our way out, Sir."

"Good. Get out as fast as you can, we´ll meet up by that sad-looking tree we passed on the way in. Daniel, come on, let´s go."

"My pack."

"Leave it."

Jack grabbed Daniel, pulling him towards the massive doors, the chamber vibrating around them. They ran fast, dodging the shards of coloured glass that shattered all around them like missiles, the exit looking an impossible distance.

They were close, only yards from safety when Jack saw it. One of the giant pillars had started to crumble and tilt, falling across the doorway, and Daniel was running right under it. He shouted, reaching for Daniel, pushing him clear an impossibility, so instead he turned, spinning Daniel around and throwing him backwards, diving over Daniel´s falling body as the pillar shattered behind him. He felt a rush of air, and then something slammed into him, pitching him into darkness.

"Jack, Jack, wake up, Jack, please" Daniel patted Jack´s cold cheeks, but there was no response. "Sam, Teal´c, can you hear me? Sam, please come in." He shook his radio, willing it to work, the rattles coming from inside it not encouraging. With a shout, he hurled it away from it, clenching his fists and battering his thighs in frustration. Dammit, no, he couldn´t afford to fall apart now, not with Jack injured. It was up to him to keep them both alive until rescue came. And it would come, he had to believe that. Needed to believe that Sam and Teal´c had made it out safely.

He checked Jack´s leg again, wincing. At least his pack had still been accessible, and he had been able to sufficiently pack the wound to stop the bleeding, and there had been a *lot* of blood, but at least the femoral hadn´t been severed, or Jack would already be dead.

The leg was now propped up on his pack, and all Daniel wanted was for Jack to wake up, although maybe it would be better for him so stay unconscious, since with the possibility of internal bleeding and concussion, Daniel didn´t dare give him anything for pain.

He went back to stroking Jack´s hair, crooning to him softly, the contact more to comfort him than Jack.

"Colonel, Daniel?"

Daniel ran to the pile of shattered stone, leaning against it to shout frantically. "Sam, Sam, were here. Is Teal´c with you?"

"Thank god. We´ve been trying to hail you, but we got nothing."

"My radio´s broken. Jack´s too."

"What about you, are you okay?"  

"I´m fine but Jack is hurt. You need to get help."

"Daniel, I have some C4. Maybe we could…"

"We can´t risk it, Sam. We´re just on the other side of the debris, and I don´t think Jack should be moved, not without a med team."

"How bad is he, Daniel?"

"Pretty bad. He has a bone sticking up out of his leg and he´s been unconscious since the quake. He´s lost a lot of blood, too."

"Damn."

He could hear the murmur of voices from the other side of the fallen pillar, soft and urgent. "Sam, Teal´c, what´s going on?"

"DanielJackson, I can begin to clear the rocks while MajorCarter returns to the stargate."

"Teal´c, I know you want to help, but there´s no way you can clear all this, there´s tons of it. We shouldn´t split up any further. What if there are aftershocks? We have no idea how stable the rest of this structure is."

"Yes, of course you are correct. The suggestion was foolish."

"I understand why you made it, Teal´c, and I appreciate it, but the best thing you can both do for us now, is to get back to the gate as soon as possible."

"Indeed. We shall return to you soon."

"Just hold on Daniel."

"Don´t worry; we´ll be here waiting for you when you get back. Both of us."

Closing his eyes in relief, Daniel hurried back to Jack, dropping to his knees beside him. "Did you hear that, Jack? Sam and Teal´c have gone for help. We´ll be out of here in no time now. Just stay with me, Jack. Just stay with me."

Painfully, Jack cracked open one eye, immediately squeezing it shut again. "Ow. Daniel, why is everything Technicolor?"

"Jack, oh my god, Jack, you´re awake. I thought…it´s been hours...I…how do you feel? Jack, come on, I know you´re awake, open your eyes."

Still groggy, Jack did as he was asked, squinting up at Daniel´s anxious face, a face surprisingly radiating beams of golden light. "Crap, I´m dead."

"Jack, you´re not dead."

"I am. I must be, because you´re an angel now. We´re both dead. I´m sorry you´re dead again, Daniel. Sorry I'm dead too, but hey, at least I get to be with you. Never thought they´d let me into Heaven. Should Heaven hurt this much?"

"Jack, this is not Heaven, and neither of us is dead. You´re hurt, but you´re going to be fine."

"I´m not dead?"

"No, not dead."

"You´re not an angel?"

"Definitely not."

"Oh. Then why do you have a halo?"

"There´s glass from the ceiling all over the floor. A lot of it came down in the earthquake and it´s reflecting light over everything."

"Earthquake?"

"Yes, do you remember? We were in the central chamber when the quake hit and we were running for the exit when you were hurt."

"Right. Quake, running, hurt, got it." Eyes suddenly wide, Jack tried to push himself up, grabbing for Daniel in terror. Daniel, the pillar, you were..."

Daniel grabbed his hand, squeezing it as he gently lowered him back down. "I´m fine. You pushed me clear, and then protected me with your own body. You saved me, Jack."

"You´re fine? Not crushed?"

"Not even dented. You were the one hurt."

"The pillar landed on me?"

"Jack, if that pillar had landed on you, you would have been squashed like a bug. A small part of it broke off and slammed into you."

"Oh. It sure hurts a whole hell of a lot for something so small."

"When I say small, I mean in relation to the pillar. In relation to you, it was pretty big."

"How bad?"

"Compound fracture of the right femur. I´ve immobilised and padded it as best I can. You´re head hit hard when you went down, so possibly concussion. I think you might have some internal bleeding too, but there´s not much I can do about that."

"Carter and Teal´c?"

"They´re okay. They went back to the gate for help."

"Any chance of digging our way out of here?"

"Not unless you have a pickaxe in your pocket."

"Nah, sorry, I´m just pleased to see you."

"Ja-ack."

"It´s not my fault; I have a concussion."

"Like you´d ever let that slow you down."

Jack smiled blearily, his eyes beginning to drop closed.

"Jack, Jack, come on, you need to stay awake."

"Okay."

"Jack."

"C´mon, Daniel, I´ll stay awake later. Sleep now."

"Jack, no, the concussion."

"I have a concussion?"

"You might have. I need you to stay awake so I can keep an eye on your level of responsiveness."

"I was in an accident?"

"Jack, there was an earthquake, remember? You were hurt when you saved me."

"Oh, right, yes. Sorry, a bit woozy here. I have a concussion."

"That´s it, so you need to stay awake."

"I need to stay awake. Hey, shouldn´t you be asking me stuff, like, you know, stuff."

"Fine. Do you know your name?"

"Of course I know my name, I´m not an idiot."

"Well, if you´re not going to take this seriously."

"Sorry. Jack O´Neill."

"How many 'l's?"

"Two."

"Who is Budge?"

"An ass."

"You´re fine."

"Good to know. Can I go to sleep now?"

"Jack."

"Hey, I´ve had a hard day."

"Please, just stay with me, Jack."

"I´m trying, Daniel. Talk to me, tell me things."

"What kind of things?"

"I don´t know, anything. Jokes, the weather forecast, hell, your recipe for that spicy chicken thing you make."

"Not a chance. My secret sauce ingredient will go with me to my grave. I could, uhm, I could tell you a linguistic joke, if you like."

"Oh please, yes, this I´ve got to hear."

"Okay. Well, a young monk joins an abbey, ready to dedicate his life to the copying of ancient texts by hand. He settles in, but after a couple of weeks he begins to become concerned and goes to see the head priest.

"Father," he says, "all the monks have been copying from copies, and those copies were made from other copies, and those from still more copies."

The old priest nods sagely, unsure what the younger man is getting at. "Of course, my Son, that has been our way for many generations."

The young monk becomes agitated. "But Father don´t you see, if someone makes a mistake, it would be impossible to detect. Even worse, the error would continue to be made."

A bit startled, the old priest decides that he should check their latest effort against the original, which is kept in the vault beneath the abbey. A place only he has access to.

So, two days, then three pass without the old priest resurfacing. Finally, the new monk decides to see if the old guy is alright. When he gets down there, though, he discovers the old man hunched over a newly copied book, several older copies, and the original text. He is sobbing, and by the look of him, has been sobbing for a long time.

"Father," the young monk whispers, "what is it?"

"Oh Lord Jesus," the old priest wails. "The word is celebrate."

Jack screwed up his face for a moment, and then began to laugh weakly, his laugh turning into a spluttering cough. "Oh crap, that hurts. Don´t make me laugh."

"But you asked me to tell you a joke."

"I didn´t expect it to be funny. I thought it would be like one of Teal´c´s lame jaffa jokes."

"So, jokes are out then. What do you want to talk about instead?"

"Daniel."

"Yes?"

"Daniel."

"Jack?"

"Daniel."

"Look, Jack, if all you´re going to do is repeat my name over and over, I´m going to fall asleep. You´re not having an episode, are you?"

"No I am not having an episode. I just wanted to say, uhm…I wanted to say…"

"Say what?"

"Give me a minute, will you, I´m getting there. This isn´t easy."

"Oh god, you´re not going to start with the last thoughts are you? Jack, you´re not going to die."

"You´re a doctor now?"

"Yes."

"Of archaeology. If I ever need to be carbon dated I´ll look you up."

"Jack, you´re not going to die. You´re too pig-headed to die."

"Daniel, we have to accept that…"

"No, we don´t. I don´t. I don´t have to accept anything. You are not going to die."

"Daniel…"

"Whatever happened to 'never give up, never surrender´?"

"Daniel…"

"Okay, fine, I´ll take the DVD collection, except for the Indiana Jones trilogy, Teal´c can have that. All the Le Creuset pans and your Grandmothers quilt. Oh, and the good chess set; and both Tiffany lamps, but definitely not that ugly one that looks like the Chrysler building."

"I thought I wasn´t going to die."

"You´re not, but if, on the off-chance that you´re so desperate to get the last word, you do just to spite me, I want the good stuff."

"It´s yours."

"Thanks. What do I get when you don´t die?"

"You get to have me dragging you off for beer and pizza, and making you sit through hockey night and all my Simpsons box sets, and making fun of tweedy history channel presenters, and, you know, generally bugging the hell out of you."

"Ah, the best stuff. I´ll take it."

The tightness in Jack´s chest had nothing to do with his injuries. The pain of wanting, but never being able to have Daniel tore at him, leaving him breathless. The pain, too, of knowing that the days of friendly banter were long gone, and now every word held subtle meaning. He was to blame, first by rejecting Daniel, and then by trying to push him into a relationship for which he had no desire. He owed Daniel, but he was going to hurt him again, because he simply wasn´t strong enough keep his desires in check and be Daniel´s friend.

"Daniel, I can never tell you how much I regret…"

"Jack, I think I may have been a little hasty when…"

"Sorry, Daniel, you go first."

"No, it´s okay, you were saying you regret something?"

"Pretty much everything."

"Jack, what maggot have you got in your head now?"

"I´ve been a bastard, to you, and I wouldn´t blame you if you hated me."

"I don´t hate you. I could never hate you."

"I don´t deserve you, Daniel. I must have been crazy thinking you could ever see me as more than a friend. You had every right to tell me to get lost, and…"

"Actually, that's what I wanted to say. I´ve been thinking, and…"

"No, Daniel, stop; don´t say it."

"But I thought that was what you wanted." getting angry, Daniel started to pull away. "God, I don´t believe you. You´ve changed your mind again. Are you going to go back to treating me like a pariah, or have you got some new form of torture in mind?"

"Daniel, no." Distraught, Jack caught his sleeve, hanging on tightly. "You´ve got it all wrong. I love you, Daniel, and I don´t think I could ever stop, even if I wanted to."

"Then why won´t you let me…"

"Because it wouldn´t be right. I know you, Daniel. You always put yourself last, it´s like you believe that you aren´t as worthy of happiness as anyone else, and that´s crazy. No-one deserves to get what they want in life more than you do. And you don´t want me."

"There you go again, trying to run my life."

"I am not. I´m stopping you from making a huge mistake."

"I realise that you´re not the catch of the century, Jack, and I probably need to get my head examined for wanting to get involved with you, but there it is."

"I am so a catch."

"Jack, you are infuriating, frustrating, maddening and frequently impossible; you have the attention span of a fruit fly, pre-pubescent schoolboy wit and all the tact and diplomacy of Attila the Hun."

"I still have all my own teeth."

"Yeah, but the knees are shot."

Jack laughed, warmed by the smile in Daniel´s eyes. He had missed this, missed Daniel, but this was wrong. He had no right to take advantage of Daniel´s pity. Probably guilt, too. Daniel was most likely blaming himself for Jack getting hurt, and now he was trying to make up for it by giving Jack what he most wanted. Well, Jack wouldn´t let him.

"Daniel, it´s not your fault I got hurt."

Daniel frowned, thrown by the apparent non-sequitur. "I know that. Why would you say that?"

"Because it´s what you do. You blame yourself for all kinds of things that you have no control over, and I just want you to know, this is not your fault, and you don´t have to try to fix it. Fix me."

"Is that what you think? That I´m being nice? I swear, Jack, you´ve been playing dumb so long you´ve gotten stuck that way. When have I ever been nice to you?"

Jack thought for a minute. Daniel was the best, most decent, moral and deep down good man Jack had ever known, but he was not nice. In fact, his insistence that not only he, but also those around him do the right thing meant he was frequently downright unpleasant.

"Okay, you´ve never been nice to me before, but…"

"Jack, I am not humouring you, I am not trying to grant you your dying wish, I am not confused or guilt-ridden and while I am grateful to you for saving my life, I am not that grateful."

"But…"

"I love you, you jerk, though god knows why."

"I know you do, and that means a lot, but you´re not in love with me, and…"

"Yes I am."

"No you´re not."

"I am."

"Are not."

"Jack, I think I should know whether or not I´m in love."

"You´re not thinking clearly; we´re in a stressful situation here."

"Oh, good lord you can be a pain in the ass. Look, I love that your heroes are George Washington, Babe Ruth and Homer Simpson; I love how exited you get when you find the toy in the cereal box; I love that you still hope that someday you´ll win a sparring session with Teal´c, in spite of all evidence to the contrary; everything in my life is better because you´re a part of it, Jack. I even love you enough to forgive you for making me say all this."

"Wow, that´s…wow."

"Now do you get it?"

"Yes, I believe you, but…"

"And still he argues."

"Daniel, there one big problem with your reasoning. You´re not gay."

"I hate those kinds of labels."

"Of course you do, but a relationship needs more than love. There has to be passion too, and then a little lust is always a bonus."

"Jack…"

"You can´t change who you desire, no matter how much you might want to. You´ve never been attracted to guys, so it´s unlikely you…"

"Yes I have."  

"Ever will. You what?"

"I´ve been in relationships with other men before. Not many, but then there weren´t that many women either. I was never too good at relationships. I´d be all wrapped up in my work, miss dates, forget anniversaries, and just generally screw up. You know how it is. Jack? Would you quit it with the fish impersonations, you're freaking me out."

"You…you…"

"Oh come on, Jack. It can´t be that much of a shock, I mean, you it´s what you always thought, isn´t it?"

"Yes, and you shot me down for thinking it."

"Well, you had no right making assumptions about me."

"Daniel, you all but said you weren´t gay."

"No I didn´t."

"Okay, you all but implied it."

"No, I implied it was of no relevance, which it isn´t."

"Well, it kind of was at the time, being as I was declaring my undying love for you."

"I was mad at you. You just sprang all of that on me and expected me to be happy."

"I know, I sprang it on me, too. Believe me, I was as shocked by what was coming out of my mouth as you were."

"I never meant to mislead you, but I wasn´t ready to bear my soul. I know you, Jack, the least little sign that you had a chance and you would get everything moving so fast I´d have no time to think. Besides, with your ego, if you knew I had ever been in a relationship with a man, you would assume I must want you."

"Well, you do."

"See. See, that´s exactly what I mean."

"But you do. You just said so."

"I know that, but I´d invested a lot of time and energy trying not to care about you all through your jackass phase. I had a little trouble switching gears."

"But you´re there now."

"Yes. I´m there now." Smiling gently, Daniel put a hand on the side of Jack´s face, leaning in to kiss him lingeringly.

Jack hooked an arm around Daniel´s neck, body arching up towards him, but even so small a movement was too much.  His leg slipped from its prop, jolting hot agony through his body. He dropped away from Daniel, gasping with shock as his world spun nauseatingly, his mind rushing to shield itself, retreating from the devastating pain.

"Oh god, Jack, I´ve hurt you."

Daniel frantically checked the bandages, hissing as he saw the blood seeping through. "It´s coming through, and I don´t have any more."

Daniel threw off his vest before pulling his T-shirt over his head. Rolling it up, he added it to the bandages, using his belt to hold it in place.

"I think that´s holding the bleeding, at least for now, Jack. Jack? Oh no, Jack?"

He patted Jack´s cheeks, shocked by their icy touch. He knew that injured men could die easily from exposure, but in his preoccupation, he had never noticed the darkening sky and rapidly falling temperature. To him, it was merely a little chilly, but for someone going into shock, it could be lethal. He was an idiot. He should have been concentrating on keeping Jack warm and comfortable. Instead, he had argued with him. He should have been keeping Jack calm, should have dropped his bombshell once they were safe. His timing was for shit, and now Jack was hurt even worse.  

He lay down next to Jack, draping his leg over Jack´s good one, wrapping an arm around his waist and tucking his head into Jack´s shoulder, giving him the only thing he had left to give; his warmth to keep Jack alive.

Butterfly wings were fluttering against his cheek, soft and moist, and a warm, comforting something pressed against his left side. He was aware of his gratitude for it before he was aware of the contact. He lay still, devoting all his remaining energy to being thankful for it.

Slowly, curiosity returned, and he lifted his hand to explore this strange presence. He reached across his body, until he found another hand, traces along an arm to a bare shoulder, arched protectively over his chest, over velvet skin and taut muscles, up into short, silky hair, then forwards across a damp cheek to find full, soft lips that parted under his questing touch. Daniel.

"Did we just have sex?"

"Oh thank god. I was so scared, Jack. You…what? Sex? Of course we haven´t had sex."

"Oh. Then why are you naked."

"I´m not naked."

"The bits I felt are, for which I thank you."

"Oh, right. I had to use my T-shirt to pad your leg. It´s not ideal, but it´s the best I could do."

"We didn´t have sex?"

"No, no sex. You´ve been unconscious since I kissed you."

"Must have been one hell of a kiss."

A gusty little laugh blew down Jack´s neck, thawing his icy flesh, Daniel´s arm tightening over him in a careful hug. Daniel nuzzled against his cheek, eyelashes fluttering wildly and leaving behind a light, hot dew of tears. "I hate to think what it says about our future relationship that our first kiss nearly killed you."

Jack hugged back as best he could. "I´m willing to take the risk."

Daniel rose up, looking down at him, searching his eyes. "All of them, Jack? Because I´m not totally clueless. I know what could happen to you if anyone ever found out about us. I know how important your career is to you."

"I don´t think that´s going to be an issue anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Daniel, look at my leg. No way is that going to heal cleanly. At best, I´ll be left with a limp. I´m going to be off SG-1, maybe even out of the SGC."

"Jack…"

"It´s probably for the best. I mean, if I retire, we won´t have to pretend."

"But it´s not what you want."

"Not completely, no, but it´s close."

Still looking at him, Daniel suddenly smiled, satisfied. Jack held him as he lay back down, wanting this, wanting Daniel so badly, but so afraid that they would never get the chance. He could feel the darkness waiting to drag him down. Daniel was his only anchor; Daniel´s love the only thing stopping him from giving in to the pain and dropping into that icy cradle. He wanted to stay. Daniel was finally his. He couldn´t die now.  Unconsciously, he tightened his grip.

"Jack, what is it?" Daniel gasped at Jack´s ashen face. "Oh god, you´re worse."

"Daniel, I´m trying."

"Jack…"

"I don´t want to leave you, Daniel, not now."

"Then don´t. Come on, Jack, you´re the strongest person I know. You have to fight."

"I know, I know; stay away from the light."

"Right. Look at me, Jack. Focus on me. Please, hold on a little longer, it can´t be long now."

Jack nodded, too tired to talk, eyes fixed on Daniel´s face.

Daniel gripped his hand, stroked his hair, his face. "That´s it; just keep looking at me, Jack. I won´t let you go. I will never let you go."

"Daniel, Colonel?"

Daniel´s head shot up. "Sam? Jack, that´s Sam. They´re here. But I don´t know…that came from…" The voice came from above, not the other side of the blocked doorway. How was that possible? He looked up and saw them, dropping through the shattered ceiling like spiders. "Oh my god, Jack, they´re coming through the roof! It´s over, Jack. They´re bringing down a stretcher. We can get you safely out of here. We´re going home."

Daniel didn´t talk anymore, weak from relief, but he stayed close, hovering around the medics as they dealt with Jack´s injuries. Every now and then tightening his fingers around Jack´s hand, reminding him to stay alive. Those touches were all that Jack remembered of their rescue, all that he needed to know.

Jack´s eyes shot open as he gasped back to life. He found himself staring at Jacob Carter, who looked as surprised as he felt. "Hey, Jacob. Don´t take this the wrong way, but what are you doing here?"

"Jack." Jacob smiled wryly, the hum of the healing device he held fading as he let it drop to his side. "I take it you don´t remember the rescue?"

"Not a thing." He looked away from Jacob to take in the other concerned faces ringing his bed. The faces of his friends, all but the one he most wanted to see. Worried, he was about to ask what had happened to Danel when he saw him, lurking behind Teal´c and looking pensive. He relaxed. Daniel was safe. "So, what did I miss?"

Sam stepped forward eagerly. "Sir, there was a landing pad for the Teltac on top of the mountain. All we had to do was land, and then retrieve you and Daniel through the roof."

"Okay, back up. Teltac?"

"Just happened to be in the area, Jack." Jacob was still smiling, enjoying Jack´s confusion.

"Small universe."

"I asked the SGC to contact the Tok´Ra Sir. Daniel said you were injured, and I was concerned at how long it would take to remove the amount of rubble blocking the doorway. I was hoping we could use some of those tunnel forming crystals." "Good thinking, Carter."

"Actually, Sir, not really. Apparently, they can be hard to control, and there was a risk that they could tunnel through you."

"On reflection, we considered it prudent to forego this method of rescue, O´Neill."

"Good choice, T. And the Teltac?"

"Even though the Tok´Ra couldn´t help with the crystals, they told us that they had a Teltac only half an hour away from us, and offered to send it along to help out. It was only after they arrived that we found out that Dad was on board after being picked up from a mission."

Jack grinned at Jacob. "Well, I guess we were due a little luck. Appreciate the ride, and thanks for sticking around to use the…uh…whatchamacallit."

"Wouldn´t miss it, Jack. Never a dull moment with SG-1."

Jack laughed. "Oh yeah. First earthquake in centuries, and we´re there to share in the joy."

"Actually, Sir, it wasn´t completely a coincidence."

Jack turned to Sam, frowning. "Are you saying that someone was there? The quake was deliberate?"

"Oh no, nothing like that. The temple sits near the edge of the same tectonic plate that the Stargate, rather unfortunately, is mounted over a band of weak rock. The first earthquake was caused when continued use of the gate squeezed the weak section with differential stresses greater than its strength, leading to…"

"Carter! Please, injured man, here."

"It was us, Sir. After the quake, the population re-located, so the gate was no longer in use, allowing the fault zone to come to equilibrium. Then we, the SGC started using the gate. The heavy rains after SG-2´s visit compounded the problem. We think that that first gate activation opened a giant funnel to the crack, and it became the beneficiary of stress corrosion."

Jack just stared. "I have no idea what that means."

"It is quite clear to me, O´Neill."

Jack tuned a calculating gaze on Teal´c. "It is not."

Teal´c looked back, eyebrow raised.

"Okay then, explain it."

"A pointless endeavour. You would not understand."

Even in his weakened state Jack realised that, ‘I would so´, wasn´t going to cut it here. He needed something snappy, something witty, the unbeatable comeback. "Oh yeah?"

Teal´c smirked.

"I´m sure you would, Colonel, however, it´s going to have to wait. The after-affects of the healing device can be debilitating and you need to rest."

Jack looked gratefully at Janet. "Yes, that´s it. I´m exhausted. I need to rest, otherwise, complicated geographical phenomena…piece of cake."

General Hammond reached down to pat his shoulder. "Good to have you back, Son. Now people, let´s give Colonel O´Neill some room."

They started to file out, ushered out by Janet. Jack tried to catch Daniel´s eye, wanting to signal for him to stay. They needed to talk, but now, Daniel wouldn´t even look at him. What was that all about? And wait, he was leaving? Daniel never left when he was injured. What was going on?

He sighed with relief as Daniel grabbed a chair and dragged it back to Jack´s bed. He hadn´t been leaving at all.

"You stayed."

"Of course I stayed. Did you think I wouldn´t?"

"Honestly? I was beginning to wonder. You´ve been…off since we got home. Usually you´re right in there with the explaining, but this time, nada; not a word."

"Sam was doing fine without any input from me."

"Daniel, what´s going on?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are you being like this?"

"Like what? I´m not being like anything."

"You´re…withdrawing. Can´t you tell me what´s worrying you? I thought we´d made progress back in the temple, but now…I don‘t know."

"Jack, I…it was different then. You were injured, and we both assumed…but you´re fine now. You´re going to be fine. Jacob healed your leg, all the internal damage is fixed. You´re as good as new, and when Janet releases you tomorrow, everything can go back the way it was. Nothing has to change."

Jack felt something break in his chest. Something no healing device could mend. He had been right all along. Daniel had simply been telling him what he wanted to hear. Keeping him alive, giving him a reason to go on fighting. He had asked Daniel to tell him things, jokes. Well, Daniel certainly had. This was the biggest joke of all, and it was on him.

He closed his eyes, too tired and too hurt to look at Daniel. He could still have him. For whatever reason, Daniel had made commitments. He was far too honourable to go back on them. If Jack pushed, Daniel could be his, but at what cost? Could he really do that, take a not wholly willing Daniel to his bed? No, of course he couldn´t. He loved Daniel, completely and absolutely. He would do anything to bring him happiness, even if that meant bowing out of his life.

"Yes, you´re right. Nothing has to change. I guess things look different when you actually have to live with your decisions."

Jack looked up, trying to pretend that he was relieved. Then he saw Daniel, saw the obvious desolation in his face. What the hell was going on with him? What was it that he wanted?

"Daniel what do you want?"

"Look, Jack, it´s fine. I understand."

"Well that´s more than I do."

"You won´t even have a limp, Jack. There´s no reason you can´t continue leading SG-1. You don´t have to settle for me any more."

"What are you talking about? Settle for you, are you nuts?"

"Jack, I know I could never be more than a consolation prize. The next best thing if you couldn´t have what you really wanted. But you don´t have to make do with 'close´; not now."

"Oh, for…Daniel, I swear, you can be the most exasperating individual in this or any other universe."

"What? But…"

"Daniel, *you* are what I want. I meant exactly what I said. Look, retiring isn´t what I want, not when there´s so much still to do. Especially when you would still be going through the gate and into danger, but without me there to look out for you. But being with you was never in question. How you could ever think you were compensation is beyond me. I wasn´t injured when I told you I loved you on the cliff top, was I?"

"Well, no, but we were both under a lot of stress, and you haven´t mentioned it again since."

"Because you didn´t want me to! You told me so. You said all you wanted was for things to be back to the way they were, when we were friends and nothing more, and I love you so much I was trying to give you that. Now here you are, thinking I didn´t really mean it because I didn´t start acting like a crazy stalker guy. I just can´t win."

Daniel looked rueful. "Okay, I admit I might have been…unreasonable. But have you thought what it would really mean for us to be involved in a relationship?"

"Dreamed and fantasized sure, thought, not so much."

"It would be hard, Jack. We´d have to be careful all the time. You need to be one hundred percent certain that this is what you want."

"I am. It is. Daniel, do you know what I was thinking in that temple before the quake? I decided I was going to have to retire. Not because I wanted to, but because I couldn´t handle seeing you every day but not being with you. Yes, Daniel, my career is important to me, but if it ever came to a choice between losing SG-1 or losing you, then no contest. You come first Daniel, before everything."

Daniel looked at Jack, shocked. "I…you won´t lose me, Jack. As long as you want me, I´ll be here."

"That long?"

Daniel reached for his hand, squeezing it briefly before letting go. "God, I wish I could kiss you."

"You could, in fact, please do."

"Jack, we´re in the infirmary."

"So?"

"So anyone could come in. Careful, remember?"

Jack sighed, knowing Daniel was right but fervently wishing he wasn´t. "I know. Damn, you´re right; this is going to be hard. At least we have the perfect cover."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, everyone knows we´re best friends, so no-one will think anything of it if we spend a lot of time together. We can even go on vacation together and no-one will suspect."

Daniel laughed. "Please, people have been suspecting for years, even when there was nothing to suspect."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember that gossip I told you about? Well, we´ve been the subject of it pretty much from the beginning."

"What, you and me?"

"You, me, Sam, Teal´c, in pretty much every possible combination. There´s even one faction that´s adamant that General Hammond and Jacob are an item, possibly with Bratac thrown in for that little extra thrill."

"Please tell me you´re kidding."

"Nope. You wouldn´t believe some of the stories going around. Still, in a way that helps us. Who´s going to care about the truth when fiction is so much more fun?"

"So you´re saying no-one will notice if we start something because the assumption is that we´ve been knocking boots all along?"

"That´s about it. I do wish we could tell Sam and Teal´c, though. And General Hammond. And Janet."

"Only all the SGC´s senior staff then. Sure you don´t want to send a memo to the Joint Chiefs while we´re at it?"

"Jack."

"I know, I know, and I wish we could tell them too, but I don´t see how. All of them, apart from Teal´c, are military. We´d be putting them in an impossible situation."

"Only if we told them in words."

"As opposed to what, charades?"

"Isn´t the rule 'don´t ask, don´t tell´? As far as I know, nowhere does it say 'don´t hint´."

"Hint, huh? Yeah, I guess we could do that. So this gossip, how come I never get to hear any?"

"I don´t know. Probably too high up on the food chain. Everyone shuts up when you come into the room."

"Damn. Heard anything juicy."

"Well, apparently the nurses think that I have the best ass at the SGC."

"They talk about stuff like that?"

"They have a list"

"Who´s number two on the ass list?"

"Teal´c."

"Oh. Three?"

"Hurst from SG-5."

"Hurst? Am I not on this list at all?"

"Oh yes, you´re in the top ten."

"Top ten!"

"It´s a big base."

"Well, who else is ahead of me?"

"Uhm, Washington in stores, Powell from SG-7, Siler…"

"Oh come on. I have a better ass than Siler!"

"You´ve looked?"

"You don´t think I have a better ass than Siler?"

"Well, sure. I think you have a better ass than Teal´c, but it´s not my list."

"You do? So, good. Who cares what the nurses think. They have other lists?"

"Lots. You wouldn't believe some of the things they rate. They even have one for best behaviour while being inoculated."

"Where do they get the time to do all this? They don´t have enough work."

"Which I consider a good thing."

"True. Okay, what about eyes? I have good eyes."

"You do."

"But?"

"Number two."

"Damn. Who´s number one?"

"That would be me again."

Jack looked into Daniel´s guileless blue eyes. "Okay, I see that. What about sense of humour? No way am I not top of that list."

Daniel looked apologetic.

"I´m not? It´s not you again, is it?"

"No. Teal´c."

"Oh, now that´s plain wrong. Dumb lists."

"I hear they voted you best date for a high school reunion."

"Okay, that´s not so bad."

"No, not bad at all."

Jack nodded, satisfied, and then yawned widely.

"You should get some rest, Jack. The healing device can really knock you out. Still, it beats months of physical therapy."

"I´ll say. I thought we´d have to wait forever to have wild monkey sex, and now we´ll be able to get at it tomorrow."

Daniel looked a little stunned. "Wild…uh…oh…wow."

"Daniel, if that´s not what you want, then say now, because…"

"No. I mean, yes. Absolutely do I want to make like a monkey with you. Totally. No chance Janet would let you go tonight, is there?"

"What, and give up the opportunity to stick me with those elephant needles and shine her little light in my eyes? Not a hope in hell."

"Didn´t think so. Damn. So, tomorrow."

"Tomorrow. We´ve waited this long, we can last one more day."

"Not even a day, really. Only 'till morning, then I can take you home and we can…uhm…"

"Wild monkey sex."

They smiled at each other, hands unconsciously clutching.

"Stay with me tonight?"

"Yes."

Jack relaxed, letting himself drift into sleep, hand still linked with Daniel´s.

Later, when the nurse came to make her rounds she found them. Daniel´s chair pushed up to the bed, his arm across Jack´s body, hands entwined, his head resting on the pillow beside Jack´s. She knew she should wake him, ask him to leave, but she didn´t. They looked so right like that, so at peace, that instead she brought a spare blanket and draped it over Daniel. She could come back in the morning before she went off shift, but for now, she would leave them to sleep. With one last fond look, she pulled the drapes around their bed and left.

They stayed like that the whole night, and when they opened their eyes in the morning, the first thing they saw was each other, and they knew. This wasn´t close. This was everything.

***The End***

Home