The Nature of the Beast
by Remma (morennab@yahoo.co.uk)
"Dammit, Daniel, why are you making such a big deal of this?"
"Jack, I said that I understood, and of course you should go and meet your old friend for a drink. How, exactly, is that making a big deal of anything?"
"It´s the way you said it. Pissy."
Daniel sighed, throwing up his hands in frustration. It seemed that these days, where Jack was concerned no matter what Daniel said or did, it was wrong.
"What do you want me to say, Jack? Tell me what reaction you want, and I´ll be happy to provide it for you."
"See, that´s exactly what I mean. I haven´t seen Matt Sheridan in years, and he´s in town for one night. This is the only chance I´ll get to meet up with him for god knows how long."
"I know. I understand that. I told you I understood that."
"I mean, it´s not like we had anything important planned."
"No, nothing important."
"Right. We can do beer, pizza and a game anytime."
"We could. We don´t, but you're right, we could."
"Sure we do."
"No, we don´t. We did. We don´t anymore."
"And there you go again. Pissy."
"I am not god, this is so pointless. Look, I´m fine; I have no problem with you cancelling out on me, so please; go have dinner with your friend."
"Postponing, not cancelling. It´s not like we´re going to stop being friends because I have other, older friends. You´re still my best buddy, right?"
Daniel looked away, knowing that for him, that was true, but not so sure about Jack. How long had it been since Jack had stopped to consider their friendship? How long since he had made any effort to sustain it. Was he now so used to regarding Daniel as his 'best friend' that the fact that they barely communicated had slipped by unnoticed.
"Would you quit with the sulking, already."
Unexpectedly angry, Daniel turned a hard stare on Jack, before breaking into a wide and patently false smile. "Why, yes Jack. Of course we´re still best buddies. No problems there, old buddy, old pal. The two musketeers, that´s us, solid as a rock. That 'perky' enough for you, Jack?"
"Oh for crying out loud. Nothing´s ever easy with you, is it?"
"I´m not the one who won´t let this go."
"All this because I want to alter our arrangements one time."
"Five times."
"What?"
"You´ve cancelled, sorry, postponed, the last five times we had plans."
"Five times? No, that can´t be right. Are you sure? Five times?"
"Do you even remember the last time we did anything together?"
"There was the Jell-O wrestling."
"That was you and Teal´c."
"I called to invite you, too, but you weren´t interested."
"Teal´c called, and I might have been interested if you´d given me more that ten minutes notice."
"Fine, you want notice, next Friday. We do the pizza thing next Friday, okay?"
"I don´t think so, Jack."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because I don´t see the point in making arrangements when I know damn well that nothing will come of it."
"It will; we will. One hundred percent definite."
"And if something better comes along? I´m sorry Jack, I have better things to do with my time that not having dinner with you."
"You do not. You have no life."
"Thanks Jack, that makes me feel so much better."
Scowling, Jack squirmed uncomfortably. All he had wanted to do was drop in, explain the situation, then get on his way. It should have been easy, but no such luck. Sure Daniel had said no problem, but at the same time his eyes held that kicked puppy dog look that never failed to push all of Jack´s guilt buttons. Granted, he hadn´t realised how often he had changed their plans lately, but it wasn´t as if he did it deliberately. Things happened. Things he had no control over. Even so, the last thing he had intended to do was insult Daniel, but dammit, the man could be so aggravating. "Look, I´m sorry, that didn´t come out right."
"You should probably go. You don´t want to be late."
So what then? Are we never going to hang out together again?"
Sighing again, Daniel scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Look, why don´t we see what happens. You can come by my office on Friday if you´re free, and if I´m free too, we can spend that free time together."
"Daniel "
"Please, can´t we leave it at that?"
"If that´s what you really want, but I can tell you now, I will be free, and I expect you to be too."
"Jack, I´m always free. I have no life, remember?"
Chuckling with relief at the lightened mood, Jack left Daniel with a slap on the back and a wave. As he hurried down the hallway, he let anticipation for the night ahead banish any lingering uneasiness from his mind, satisfied that Daniel´s little joke demonstrated that he was fine. It never once occurred to him that Daniel wasn´t joking.
Jack was long gone, yet Daniel couldn´t seem to tear his eyes away from the empty doorway. He knew it was irrational. Jack wasn´t coming back. Daniel understood that. He really did. It was to be expected that he would choose to spend time with an old friend he hadn´t seen in years, rather than Daniel who he saw every day. Sadly, understanding it didn´t make it hurt any the less. Jack had been completely right about that. He wasn´t fine. He wasn´t fine at all.
Maybe if it really had been just this one time, but it wasn´t. Lately, it was every time. Daniel would almost have believed that Jack was deliberately avoiding him, but for that to be so, then Daniel would actually have to play a part in Jack´s life. He would have to matter to Jack. And he didn´t. He was considered once Jack had done all the things he really wanted to do. He was the last resort when Jack was at a loose end, the substitute for the ones who counted. He was an afterthought.
None of this was new to Daniel. His parents´ deaths had made him redundant. Unneeded and unwanted. The superfluous child, cared for out of duty, never out of love. He had learned to live with it. By the time he was eight he was self-sufficient. The island of Daniel, with a population of one.
It wasn´t so bad really. Being alone meant he could always do what he believed was right, no compromises. He didn´t need to consider anyone else since no one cared enough to hurt for him. All that mattered was his work, his only obligation to find the truth hidden in the past, and to liberate it. The fact that no one wanted to hear it was irrelevant. A truth is still a truth whether it is acknowledged or not.
Then the Stargate came into his life, and everything changed forever. For the first time ever, he let down his walls. Sha´re was the first to breech his isolation no, that wasn´t quite true. He hadn´t realised it at the time, but Jack was first. Even then, when he was still 'the Colonel', Jack´s opinion was important to him. There was a connection between them, enough that he was willing to sacrifice his own life to save Jack´s.
He had loved Sha´re, no question of that. She was sweet, kind, loving and strong. A wonderful wife for any man, and more than he could ever have deserved. That year on Abydos had been amazing. Every day was an adventure. There were so many new things to discover, a new life to learn. And that was part of the problem. Abydos was a dream come true, but dreams end. By the time the box of tissues flew through the wormhole, he had started to want more.
Why else would he have gone exploring? And once he had found the Cartouche Room, what else could he do but re-open the Stargate? Yes, he had loved Sha´re, but had she really been the one great love of his life? He knew that´s what they thought at the SGC. Why wouldn´t they? For years, he had portrayed himself as the inconsolable husband, desperately searching the galaxy for his lost love. Then she was irrevocably gone, and he was re-cast as the grieving widower. The man who was still so in love with his dead wife that he couldn´t contemplate a new relationship. He used it, that image of himself, to keep others at a distance.
Once back on Earth it would have been so easy for him to slip back into his shell, and he might well have done so if not for Jack. Jack refused to allow his isolation, dragging him back and connecting him to the World. He had been a lifeline for Daniel in those early days, when he had no one else. Gradually, his world had expanded to include Sam and Teal´c, then General Hammond and Janet. But Jack still came first. Jack´s name was the first on his lips whenever he was hurt or scared. Jack was the one he looked for.
In those days, the attachment hadn´t been one sided. Jack had liked him too, had cared for him. Jack had recognised his need to hold back a part of himself, to protect himself; he had recognised Daniel´s expectation of loss. Recognised and ignored it. Jack had bulldozed his way into Daniel´s life with his jokes, his touches, and his interest. How could Daniel resist such determination?
His mistake had been in coming to rely on that friendship. He had taken it for granted, believing that Jack would always be there for him. He got used to not being alone, so when Jack withdrew his company, Daniel was lost. He didn´t even know why Jack had discarded him, only that he had. Taken his attention away from Daniel and given it to Sam, and damn, that stung.
She already had the professional recognition. She had a Father who loved her. She had the respect of her peers, both scientific and military. Sam thought it was hard being a woman in the military? She should try being the short-sighted civilian geek, and then she´d know hard. The General listened to her; Jack listened to her. No one ever dismissed her ideas. No one ever told her to shut up.
She was the genius, the shining star of the SGC who could do no wrong. The one whose sins would always be forgiven her. Who never had to face the consequences of her actions. History was re-writing itself and shutting Daniel out; handing all his achievements to Sam on a platter. She had it all now. He loved Sam, he did, he hated feeling this resentment for her, but why did she get to have everything and Daniel nothing? Why did she get to have Jack?
The worst of it was, Jack didn´t even notice that there was anything wrong. Sure, he and Daniel argued a lot, but then they always had. It was how things were between them. He couldn´t see that the fights they had now were different. There was an edge of cruelty that had never been there before. As far as he was concerned, nothing had changed. For Daniel, everything had.
He was all but military now. The archaeologist was buried beneath the layers of combat experience, until the face he saw in the mirror was a stranger. And he had done it for Jack. Because he had believed that that was what Jack wanted. It hadn´t helped and he had lost Jack´s friendship anyway. Now he was stuck, trapped in limbo, neither one thing nor the other. Maybe it was time for him to decide who he was, and where he belonged.
SG-1 was so important to him, but he was very much afraid that it was time to move on. If he didn´t, he could lose them forever. And not just them, but his own place at the SGC. From the very beginning, the way he was regarded had been determined by Jack´s treatment of him. Jack´s respect gave him status, gave him value. Now that that was gone, he could see the cracks appearing, the beginnings of contempt from the rest of the military.
His opinions would be dismissed, his skills negated. Already the emphasis was on acquiring weapons and technology. Exploration, both historical and cultural barely came into the equation. So once again, he was redundant. Surplus to requirements. But there might still be a place for him. SG-11 perhaps, or one of the off-site digs. He couldn´t expect to go in as lead archaeologist, that wouldn´t be fair to the ones who were already working so hard, but he knew from experience that an extra pair of hands was always welcome. Most important, he would be doing what he was trained to do. Could be what he was meant to be. Yes, if he acted now, he had a chance of salvaging something from this mess. It was just so hard.
"Daniel?"
Startled, Daniel jerked back, nearly toppling from his chair.
"Oh, I´m sorry. Am I disturbing you?"
"No, no, of course not. I was uhm distracted." Green eyes crinkling as she smiled shyly, the young woman hovered uncertainly in the doorway until Daniel waved her in. He smiled back, taking in the diminutive stature, close-cropped auburn curls and dusting of freckles over a button nose, a combination that frequently led to the young anthropologist being taken for the twelve-year-old child she so strongly resembled.
Daniel knew how hard she had to work to dispel that image. How hard she had to fight to be accepted. Even he had been reluctant at first to recommend her for a front line team. Then he had really sat down and talked with her and had discovered a mind both innovative and original. She was just the sort of new blood the SGC needed. Seeing her excitement at some new discovery his smile widened. She still had that glow about her, a hunger for knowledge, and he fervently hoped that the SGC wouldn´t bleed it out of her.
"Is there something I can help you with Rosie?"
Nodding eagerly, she perched on the edge of his desk, legs swinging. "Yes, I´d really like you to have a look at these if you have the time." She dumped the stack of dusty scrolls in front of him, watching expectantly as he unrolled the first. "They´re from PX-486. From the language and culture, I would guess that these people are Greek in origin. It´s astonishing how many of the ancient myths they´ve retained, one in particular, which is why I wanted you to take a look at this stuff."
"I see what you mean. Amazing."
Rose stared in awe as Daniel scanned the ancient texts. It had taken her the best part of a day to translate one passage, and here was Daniel flicking through it like an in-flight magazine. She had never met anyone like him before, with his depth of understanding and insight. She had expected him to be good after hearing the way people talked about him, but never had she expected this level of brilliance. The SGC was fortunate to have someone of his calibre to call on.
"This is intriguing, Rosie. You said the place was called Keet?"
"That´s right, and yes, I noticed the similarity to Crete. What´s more, every other child is called Thesus or Ardine. Sound familiar?"
"Theseus and Ariadne. Hmn, interesting. Sounds like these people really believe in the legend of the Minotaur."
"Oh, they more than believe it. According to them, the Labyrinth itself is less than a day´s walk away, and some of the young people claim to have seen the Minotaur."
"What, they´ve been to the Labyrinth?"
"No, no way, no-one would go there. Totally taboo. They believe that the Minotaur has found a way out, and that it´s been coming to the town and stealing babies."
"Stealing babies?"
"Yes, apparently babies have been going missing for years. That´s why
I need to get all this straight, because it looks like their Minotaur problem
is going to be part of any treaty we make."
"Are we assuming then that this is fact?"
"I don´t know what we´re assuming. Colonel Sloan isn´t exactly forthcoming. More the 'need to know' type. And obviously, he doesn´t think I need to know this information."
"That´s ridiculous. How can you possibly function to the best of your ability without all the relevant facts? Rosie, you aren´t having any problems with him, are you? I mean, if he´s giving you a hard time, then "
"Oh no, nothing like that. He´s a bit of a hard ass, and, you know, generally anal, but then, he has a lot of responsibilities, doesn´t he? I mean, he screws up and we´re all dead."
"That´s true, but don´t forget that you´re an important part of the team, too. You´re job is to advise him, to give him the information he needs to make the right decisions; don´t let him intimidate you."
"Don´t worry, Daniel. After all, I have you as an example, don´t I? You´re 'disagreements' with Colonel O´Neill are legendary."
Rose was surprised at Daniel´s guarded reaction to her teasing. She had meant it as a joke, but he seemed quite upset. "Daniel, you know I was kidding, right? I mean, you and the Colonel, you´re really tight, everyone knows that. You´re not offended are you?"
Daniel smiled reassuringly, keeping his misgivings to himself. "No, of course not, just a little surprised to find myself a role model. Jack would be shaking in his boots if he knew."
"I don´t know why you would be surprised; after all, you´re the one we all come to when we get stuck. Why do you think I´m here now? I only wish you could come with us on this one, it would make things so much simpler."
Daniel looked at her thoughtfully. Well, why not? Once again, there was little for him to do on SG-1´s next mission, so why shouldn´t he accompany SG-11? "You know, that might not be a bad idea."
"Are you serious? That would be so cool if you could, but wouldn´t Colonel O´Neill object?"
"I don´t see why he should." Except of course, he almost certainly would. Jack tended to have a dog-in-the-mangerish attitude to Daniel, which might have been flattering if Daniel had believed it was anything more than instinctive alpha-male possessiveness. "Anyway, it makes sense that I should go where I´m the most use. If Jack has a problem with it, he´ll just have to suck it up."
Rose nodded enthusiastically, giggling at the thought of filching Daniel out from under Colonel O´Neill´s nose.
"You´re sure I won´t be stepping on any toes by inviting myself along?"
"Absolutely not. I would love the opportunity to work with you, and I´m sure Colonel Sloan will feel the same."
"So okay then. Why don´t you help me prepare a report, and we can present it to General Hammond first thing in the morning. I´m sure he´ll agree to my proposal. He usually does."
"Dammit, Daniel, what the hell are you playing at?"
Looking up from his books, Daniel took in the sight of an irate Jack, pacing restlessly at the door. "Ah, Jack, I take it General Hammond told you about the change in plans."
"Yes, the General told me. Care to tell me why I had to hear it from him, and not you? Does chain of command mean anything to you?"
Strange how Jack, who loved to buck authority himself, hated it when his own authority was threatened. "SG-11 are gating out today, so time was a factor."
"And SG-1´s mission? That wasn´t a factor."
"Obviously it was, but I considered my time better spent assisting SG-11. They could actually use an archaeologist for their mission."
"They have their own. One you picked. Are you now saying that Doctor Harmon isn´t up to it?"
"Rose Harmon is excellent. However, her speciality is Mayan and Aztec culture, so "
"And yours is Egyptology. Still not getting why you have to go to some planet because of a bunch of Greek myths."
"Yes, Egyptology is my main interest, but I also have a fair grounding in the Hellenistic period. I read and write ancient Greek "
"Of course you do."
"Come on, Jack, you know this makes sense."
"Maybe. Then again, maybe I would have liked a chance to talk it over before it was a done deal."
"Rose didn´t come to me 'till after you´d left last night, so "
"Oh, right, it´s my fault now for wanting one night off. Is this payback for standing you up, Daniel?"
"And once again it´s all about you."
"What´s that supposed to mean?"
"It means, Jack, that I´m going with SG-11 because they need me, and SG-1 doesn´t."
Jack looked uncomfortable, uneasily aware that he was largely responsible for Daniel´s belief that he was no longer a vital part of the team. He never meant to belittle Daniel´s contribution, but for some reason, he seemed to be doing just that more and more frequently. More and more he would shout him down and disregard his views. Refusing to acknowledge, even to himself, the motives for his actions, he chose instead to get angry at the source of his disquiet. Daniel.
"Fine, go do your thing with SG-11. Let´s see how you cope with Colonel Sloan for a few days. I don´t think you´ll find him as accommodating as me." Jack´s anger ratcheted up a notch at Daniel´s ironic snort. "And don´t expect me to come running to the rescue when you get yourself in trouble."
"Thank-you, Jack, I appreciate your faith in me. Now if you don´t mind, I have a mission scheduled." Last book stowed away, Daniel heaved his pack over his shoulder and walked away without a backward glance.
"I don´t think you can just dismiss these people´s beliefs out of hand like that, Colonel." Practically hopping with frustration, Daniel glared up at the man standing unconcerned in front of him. And why the hell did everyone he dealt with have to be so tall? At six foot, he was above average height, yet on SG-1, even Sam was nearly as tall as he was, and she was a woman. Was it a military thing? Did they corn feed the armed forces until they reached gargantuan proportions with intent to intimidate civilians back into schoolyard nerd level?
He had thought he had moved beyond all that. After so long spent working with the military, he thought he could cope with the macho posturing. He had never realised how protected he was by being on SG-1. No one on base wanted to get on the wrong side of Colonel O´Neill or Teal´c, and as for Sam, well. It wasn´t until now, when he had lost Jack´s support, and by extension his other team-mates, that he understood what an advantage he had been given.
Now here he was with a brand new Colonel to deal with. As tall as Jack, but built along much beefier lines, Sloan had a commanding presence, and he knew it. Knew it enough to be an accomplished loomer. He was looming now, invading Daniel´s personal space, his square, craggy face twisted derisively, his sharp blue eyes scornful.
"Oh come on, you´re not telling me you believe this Minotaur nonsense."
Holding his ground, Daniel refused to be cowed into submission. "I admit it´s unlikely, but I don´t know for sure, and that´s the point. I don´t know, and I think we should investigate further before you go promising anything."
"I´ve investigated enough. It´s insane to think that some mythical monster is still living up in the hills after thousands of years."
"How can you say that?" Daniel shook his head, exasperated. He might expect this kind of short-sightedness from an inexperienced soldier, but Colonel Sloan had been involved in the Stargate program for over four years. He should know better. Body tense and hands gesturing eloquently, he tried again. "Look, we know that the Goa´uld can live for millennia, as do the Asgard. Then there was Nem. He was old when Babylon was young. We can´t simply discount the possibility that something has survived in the Labyrinth." Why did no one ever get this?
"Ah yes, this Labyrinth. Probably a cave system, don´t you think?"
God, this was so pointless. "I don´t know."
"Isn´t that why you´re here, to know this kind of thing?"
"Colonel, I have been here less than half a day. I need more time to research the possibilities."
"Unfortunately, that´s one thing you don´t have."
"Why not? The naquada´s not going anywhere, and I´m sure the Keetans will understand that we need to be properly prepared before we go and hunt down their Minotaur. All I need is an hour or two, and then we can "
"That´s not an option. I do not intend to look like an incompetent in front of these people. My mission was to obtain the mining rights to the naquada, and I am going to do just that. As far as I´m concerned, this is as sweet a deal as we could ever get."
"And just how were you intending on killing something that you don´t even believe exists?"
"All we have to do is play to their fantasies. They want a dead Minotaur so we give them one."
"How, exactly?"
"Body of a man, head of a bull, right?" At Daniel´s nod, Colonel Sloan allowed a small self-satisfied smile to escape. "Okay then, we show them the head of a bull and tell them the Minotaur is dead."
Daniel stared at him in disbelief. "Are you insane? You you are you insane?"
Clearly displeased, the Colonel withdrew into his customary restraint. "It will work. They have no bulls here, so when we produce something that looks like the head of the beast in their old books, they´ll buy it and believe that we´ve done as they asked."
"And when the babies keep disappearing?"
"That won´t happen. It´s almost certainly some sort of wild animal that´s picking off the most vulnerable. Once we have our mining rights here, we can post a guard and make sure that doesn´t happen anymore. Everybody wins."
"How do you explain the fact that some of the townspeople have seen the beast?"
"Teenage hysteria. Kids trying to scare each other and convincing themselves that they see something that isn´t there."
"And if you´re wrong? What if the Minotaur really does exist?"
"Then we find it and kill it."
"But "
"No, no more 'buts'. We´re doing this. Lieutenant Tyler, you and Doctor Harmon go back to the gate and explain the situation to General Hammond. Inform him that we will require a bull´s head."
"Shouldn´t Doctor Harmon be with us?"
"Why? I have you; I don´t need the two of you." The Colonel steamrollered ahead, oblivious to the uncomfortable look Daniel threw at Rose and her answering shrug. "So, Tyler, keep in contact by radio, and once the guides have left us at the caves "
"Labyrinth."
Casting an annoyed look at Daniel's interruption, the Colonel carried on undaunted. "Once the guides have left us at the Labyrinth, we´ll make our way to the Stargate to pick up the head. We take it back to the caves, sorry, the Labyrinth, and come back to the town from there. There´s no reason for them to suspect a thing."
"Lying to them to get what we want doesn´t bother you at all?"
"No. We need that naquada, and I´m not leaving here without an agreement."
"I still think this is a really bad idea."
"Fine, so noted. Now, does anyone have anything constructive to add? No? Alright then, let´s get this done, people."
Still unhappy, Daniel watched as Rose and Tyler headed for the Stargate, returning her goodbye wave before moving to follow the Colonel and Bishop back into the town square.
They had been walking silently for over an hour before Rose decided it was time to find out the meaning of the frequent covert glances cast in her direction. "Okay, Matt, spit it out."
"I don´t know what you mean."
"You´ve been giving me the evil eye ever since we started for the Stargate and I want to know why."
"Oh uh it´s nothing really, I just wanted to say, you know, about the Colonel not taking you."
"Wanted to say what about it?"
Looking pained, Tyler fidgeted awkwardly. "Just, you know uhm he can be a little uhm you know. You shouldn´t take it personally. He´s just I mean, he can be uh "
"Insensitive?"
"Well "
"Inconsiderate?"
"Uh "
"A thoughtless jackass?"
"Rose!" Tyler looked around, half expecting his C.O. to appear from behind a tree to reprimand him. "You can´t call him that, he´s the Colonel."
Giggling at his scandalised look, Rose took pity on him, reaching out to take his arm and shaking it fondly. She appreciated that he was in a difficult situation, upset at his superior´s behaviour, but reluctant to openly criticise his judgment. Besides, she was touched by his concern for her hurt feelings. From the beginning, he had been the one to make her feel at ease. He was the one to help her adjust to military protocol, and all with unfailing kindness and consideration. Never once did he patronise her, talk over her, or put her down. She liked him. Liked his abiding optimism, quirky sense of humour and his kindness. The golden hair, twinkling blue eyes and killer body didn´t hurt, either.
He smiled down at her, patting the hand on his arm, deciding that now that he had established that she wasn´t upset at being left behind, he could raise the other matter on his mind. "Rosie, I was thinking."
"Oh, be careful, Matt, you wouldn´t want to strain anything."
"Oh, very funny, see, I almost laughed there. So anyway, I was thinking, you being the cultural expert and all, it might be best if you talk to General Hammond."
"Oh, you were thinking that, were you?"
"Yes, I was."
"That wouldn´t have anything to do with you not wanting to explain to the General why he has to slaughter a bull and give us the head, would it?"
Busted, Matt Tyler smiled wryly at his team-mate. "Well, you gotta admit, it´s not your average request."
"That it isn´t. What´s your opinion of this plan, then?"
"Hey, I´m just a grunt; I don´t get to have an opinion."
"Oh please, you even have an opinion about how many blueberries it takes to make the ideal muffin."
Laughing, Tyler wagged a finger at Rose in mock anger. "Look, you can´t expect a man to be happy with deficient muffins. Blueberry muffins need a generous blueberry percentage, otherwise they´re just plain muffins. Then again, too many blueberries and you overwhelm the muffin flavour. It´s a very delicate balance. That´s not an opinion, that´s plain fact."
"I´ll take your word for it; I´m more of a flapjack girl myself. So, this plan, sucky or not sucky?"
"Depends. It could be a good plan, as long as everything is how we think it is."
"But?"
"But, I´ve been at the SGC three years now, and in my experience, nothing is ever as we think it is."
Rose nodded gloomily. "I know, that´s the problem, isn´t it. There´s so much we don´t know about this situation. Daniel was right about that."
"According to Colonel O´Neill, he almost always is."
"I´ve noticed that. I have to say, I´d be a lot happier about all this if Colonel Sloan had given Daniel the time he asked for."
"You know how it is, Rosie. There´s a lot of pressure on the Colonel to deliver. This is an important opportunity for him, his chance to impress the top brass. If he pulls this off, it could mean a promotion. At his age, that´s a big deal. He could retire as a full bird colonel."
"But he´s already a colonel."
"No, he´s not, he´s a lieutenant colonel."
"And that matters?"
"To a man like Colonel Sloan, it´s everything."
They walked on in silence for a while, Rose deep in thought. After a few minutes, her lips began to twitch, then she began to giggle until finally she had to stop, weak with peal after peal of laughter.
"Rosie, what´s so funny?"
"Nothing, really, forget it."
"Rose."
"No, honestly, Matt, it´s not even funny."
"It must be a little funny, or you wouldn´t be laughing. C´mon, tell me."
"Okay, but it´s really silly. Just, you know, General Hammond. He is gonna bust a gut when he finds out he has to get us the severed head of a bull. "
"Oh man, that is so not funny."
"It´ll be dark soon. I don´t like this."
"I never liked this, but hey, what do I know."
"Don´t start with me, Jackson."
"I´m not starting anything. I just don´t see that the situation has radically changed since you formulated your plan, so why are you suddenly 'not liking' it?"
"I have complete faith in the plan. It´s the fact that we´re going to have to set up camp without a proper perimeter check that I don´t like."
"Look, Colonel, they said the Labyrinth was half a day´s walk and we didn´t start 'till well after midday, so what did you expect? If you wanted to arrive in daylight you should have delayed departure until morning, which, incidentally, would also have given me some much needed time to find out what we could be facing."
Drumming his fingers conspicuously against his P-90, Colonel Sloan cast an irritated glance at Daniel, but any reply he might have made was lost when the two guides abruptly stopped, gesturing enthusiastically.
Daniel asked them a few questions, receiving exited replies. He looked around confused. "Well that´s strange."
"Jackson?"
"Huh?"
"Translation?"
"Oh, right. They say this is it."
"What is it?"
"This. Here. This is it."
"But there´s nothing here."
"Apparently there is."
"Well if there is, I don´t see it. Bishop, do you see anything?"
"No, Sir, nothing."
By now, the guides were becoming anxious, clearly wanting to get away before nightfall. They were still pointing at the lone tree in the vicinity.
Shrugging, Daniel moved towards it, his two companions warily following. They poked and prodded, Bishop even taking out his knife to peel back some bark before they finally accepted that the tree was, in fact, just a tree.
"This is ridiculous. Jackson, find out what the hell kind of game they´re playing."
As Daniel and Bishop came around the tree to flank the Colonel, their guides beamed in relief, the older of the two pulling something from his pack.
Daniel drew in a shocked breath , the device scarily familiar. "Oh god, I think that´s a "
The rings descended without warning, spiriting them away in a flash of blinding light.
"Something´s happened to them."
"We don´t know that, Rosie."
"Colonel Sloan said he was going to keep in touch by radio, but we haven´t been able to get hold of them in hours. Surely the SGC is going to mount a rescue."
"Look, I´ve spoken to General Hammond, and while he´s concerned, there isn´t enough reason yet to assume that Colonel Sloan´s group is in trouble. It´s possible they´re camped out of range, or in an area with lousy reception, in which case we should hear from them after first light. It makes sense to wait until then."
"I guess."
"Trust me; if they´re still missing tomorrow, nothing is going to stop Colonel O´Neill coming through that gate. You wouldn´t believe how nuts he gets every time Doctor Jackson goes missing."
"Does Daniel go missing a lot?"
"Hell yeah. Missing in action, kidnapped, believed dead, even actually dead a few times. You name it, it´s happened to him, but don´t worry, we always get him back."
"Thanks, Matt, that helps. I really hate this waiting."
"I know, me too, but it won´t be for long so I for one intend to get some sleep. The nights are short on this planet, and once it´s light, if we don´t hear from Colonel Sloan, things could get lively real fast."
General Hammond wasn´t surprised when Jack remained seated after the briefing. He had expected him to be unhappy about the decision to wait rather than going immediately to PX-486, and he hadn´t been disappointed. Jack stood, beginning to pace restlessly. "This is a mistake. We need to head out immediately. Who knows what kind of trouble they´re in?"
"Colonel Son, there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for their lack of communication."
"C´mon, Sir, this is Daniel. When is anything ever reasonable where he´s concerned."
"Nevertheless, we must give Colonel Sloan every opportunity. By going in now, we could undermine his mission. You know that the Pentagon won´t be happy if we jeopardize the mining rights by being over hasty."
"Oh, well sure, we wouldn´t want that. Far better to lose three good men than upset the Pentagon."
"That´s enough, Colonel. I would have hoped that you know me better than that."
"Ah crap, I´m sorry Sir. That was over the line. It´s just you know, it´s Daniel."
"I know, and I expect you to have a team ready to go at 0600. If they are in trouble, we´ll find them and bring them home."
The darkness was absolute, cold and still. Daniel dropped his pack at his feet, reaching for his flashlight, hearing the other two doing the same. Abruptly, the bright beams illuminated the area, revealing a large hall, the ceiling so high the light faded before reaching the top.
"What the hell is going on?"
"What´s going on, Colonel, is that we´re now in the Labyrinth, which clearly does exist, and is manifestly not a cave system. Also, since they sent us here with rings, there´s a strong possibility of a Goa´uld presence. On the upside, we know that the rings have a limited range, so we are probably still on the same planet."
Grunting in frustration, the Colonel tried his radio, becoming even more annoyed when all he got from it was static. "Well that´s a bust." Reaching into his vest, he pulled out his compass, shaking it angrily when the needle spun uselessly. "Must be broken."
Daniel stared at him on amazement. What was the man doing? "Colonel, this is an alien planet, I don´t think you´re going to locate magnetic north from here."
"Where it points is irrelevant. All we need is a constant so that we don´t end up walking in circles. Bishop, try yours."
The young marine did so, shaking his head when it reacted in the same way as the Colonel´s. "Nothing Sir."
"How in the hell is that possible? Every damn planet we´ve been to has had some kind of magnetic core."
"It´s this place." beginning to move to the nearest wall, Daniel swung his flashlight around, looking for anything that might tell them how to get out. "The Labyrinth was designed to confuse anyone trying to navigate it, supposedly the passageways are so winding that anyone unfamiliar with them will have difficulty making their way out. Which is us. Oh my god, look."
As the other two joined him, Daniel played the light over the small skeletons. Dozens of them, all laid out in rows, the furthest back already beginning to crumble into dust. Daniel knelt to examine them more closely, careful not to disturb their precise positioning. "Interesting."
Colonel Sloan looked at him in disgust. "Is it absolutely necessary to do that?"
"Yes."
"Why, for god´s sake?"
"Bones can tell us a lot."
"Sure they can, Jackson. And what are those bones telling you."
"I was checking for, uh bite marks, but there´s nothing like that. Not even any broken bones, although I can see evidence of some deformities. In fact, there appears to be no sign of injury at all, which would seem to indicate that they died of natural causes, all of which would contradict the theory that they were stolen then murdered by some hideous monster."
"But we know that they were taken by the Minotaur."
"No, we don´t, Colonel. We know that that is what the Keetans believe, but all we actually know is that they went missing, and have now turned up here. Dead. Also, from their condition, clearly some of these skeletons are very old, certainly too old to belong to any of the current population. We have no idea how they got here, or how they died, and from the almost reverential way they´re laid out, I´d guess that whoever put them here cared about them."
"That´s just conjecture. All these bones tell me is that this place is dangerous, so we need to stay sharp. Now, let´s stop wasting time and try and find a way out of here. Bishop, you take point."
Daniel cast one final look back at the sad little graveyard before continuing the search for escape.
"Dammit, nothing. Okay, people, looks like we can´t access the rings from this end, so we´re going to have to find an alternative way out. Jackson, any ideas?"
"Nothing springs to mind."
"Right then, we´ll try the first doorway we come to."
"Oh, wait, wait, I need where is it ah, here." Daniel produced a small piece of chalk, waving it triumphantly in the air.
"Jackson?"
"Chalk."
"I can see that. Why?"
"You know, points of reference, so we don´t go around in circles. Sort of low-tech compass. I know it´s not a ball of thread, but it should do the trick."
"Ball of thread?"
"That´s what Ariadne gave Theseus so he wouldn´t get lost in the Labyrinth. The original Labyrinth from the ancient Greek Myths." At the blanks look, he huffed in exasperation. "Did you not read any of my report?"
The Colonel had the grace to look embarrassed as he shook his head. "It didn´t seem relevant at the time. Why don´t you run it by me while we´re walking. I´d like to know what we could be up against."
"Sure, no problem." Surprised at being asked, and even more surprised not to be asked to bullet point it, Daniel made the most of the opportunity, the light from his flashlight careening wildly around the walls as he launched into storytelling mode, mobile hands gesturing expressively.
"Okay, so, Minos, son of Zeus and Europa, and married to Pasiphae, daughter of the Sun-god Helios, was the stepson of Asterius, King of Crete. When the old man died childless, Minos declared that the God´s supported his claim to the throne. To prove this, he prayed to Poseidon to send him a bull from the sea, promising to sacrifice it when it appeared. His prayer was answered, but the bull was so beautiful that Minos couldn´t bear to kill it, so put it with his herds for breeding and sacrificed another bull instead. Angry at the deception, Poseidon caused Pasiphae to fall in love with the bull. Daedalus "
Waving his hand in the air like a schoolboy, Bishop jumped in, his baby face alight with the joy of knowledge. "Hey, I know about him, he´s the guy who flew, right? That´s why we named our spaceship after him."
Daniel smiled at his enthusiasm, thinking he must be getting old for the marine to seem so young. "Yes, that´s him. He was actually an architect, and reportedly quite devious. In fact, he was the one who designed the Labyrinth. A Labyrinth, not necessarily this Labyrinth. Anyway, Daedalus helped Pasiphae trick the bull into coupling with her."
"She seduced a bull? Euuw, that´s nasty." Bishop shuddered. That was one image he wasn´t going to shake easily.
"Actually, that sort of thing is fairly common in Greek Mythology. So, Daedalus built Pasiphae a wooden bull, in which she could lie, and the bull, not being the sharpest bovine in the meadow, assumed it was the real thing, and did the deed, as a result of which, the Queen gave birth to a child, called Asterius but more commonly known as the Minotaur, who had the head of a bull and the body of a man.
When Minos found out, he was not happy. He had Daedalus thrown into prison for having used his skill for such unnatural purposes, and for having helped to corrupt the queen. The Minotaur was confined in the Labyrinth.
After a war with Athens, which Minos won, he demanded the tribute of seven youths and seven virgins to feed the Minotaur, either annually or every nine years, accounts differ as to how often. This ended when the Athenian hero Theseus came to Crete as part of the tribute and killed the Minotaur, helped by Minos´ daughter Ariadne, who had fallen in love with him."
"So at the end of the story, the Minotaur is dead?"
"In the story. But you have to bear in mind that the Myths can be seen as a way of making sense of anything mysterious and exceptional. The human mind craves order, so anything out of the ordinary needs to be explained in a way that makes it acceptable."
"So essentially, what you´re saying is that we know nothing about this place or what it contains, right Jackson?"
"It was very interesting though, Sir."
"Interesting it may be, Bishop, but useful to us in this situation it most certainly isn´t."
"Except that if this is similar to the Cretan Labyrinth, we know that there is a way out, since Theseus escaped."
"Knowing there´s a way out, Jackson, doesn´t help us find it."
"I never promised you a map, Colonel. How can good god, do you see what I´m seeing?"
The three stopped at the base of the massive staircase, each step a foot high and nearly eight feet wide, step after step reaching up into infinity.
They had been climbing for what seemed like hours. Impossible to tell exactly how long since their watches, like the compasses, didn´t work in this place. Daniel was sure that they must have been climbing for hours. He had stopped counting the steps when he reached a thousand. It didn´t seem to matter much after that. So, hours of climbing, thousands of steps, and still no sign of an end. How was that possible?
"Maybe the stairs weren´t such a good idea."
"Getting tired, Jackson?"
"Yes, Colonel, aren´t you?"
"I´m a marine. It would take more than a few steps to stop me, now keep moving. We´re bound to get somewhere soon. This is a staircase after all. Only point to a staircase is to get somewhere. Since this one goes up, it almost certainly goes to the surface, and a way out."
"The surface, Colonel? We don´t even know if we´re underground. We were ringed here."
"Sir, look, there´s a fork up ahead."
The staircase widened as it reached the divide, at least eighteen feet across, the two branches curving gracefully upwards like spreading wings. Daniel stared at them in awe. Never had he seen anything like this. He couldn´t even imagine the sort of civilization that could build something of this magnitude. Seeing it shadowed by the glow of the flashlights only made it more magnificent.
"We´ll go this way." Colonel Sloan indicated right, leading the way.
Daniel nodded and followed, stopping only to mark a large arrow on the wall as they continued climbing.
It was another hour or so before they came to the second fork, this one not as impressive as the first. In this case, the main staircase carried on to the right, with a much smaller, narrower flight at a right angle going down.
Once again, the Colonel indicated that they should go right, continuing to climb. Daniel paused a moment, looking longingly at the downwards fork before following the others, placing his mark on the wall as he went.
The further they went, the narrower the staircase became, twisting and winding, constantly turning back on itself. They were single file now, the Colonel in the lead, setting a brisk pace, and one that Daniel was hard pressed to maintain. He pushed himself hard, determined not to show weakness in front of the tough marine. He had twenty-five years on the other man, for god´s sake; he should be able to keep up.
He had long since stopped trying to fathom this strange place in which they now found themselves, concentrating only on the next step. So much so, in fact, that when the Colonel came to an abrupt halt, he walked right into his back.
"Watch where you´re going, Jackson."
"Sorry, why did you stop?"
"I think I see something up ahead."
"A way out?"
"I don´t know; possibly. Only one way to find out, I guess. I´ll go take a look; you both stay here and wait for my call."
The Colonel moved forward cautiously, P-90 up and ready as he stepped out of the narrow passageway. His hopes died as he saw that they had come out onto yet another stairway.
"Goddamit, when is this going to end? Jackson, Bishop, get up here."
He stood on the first step, waiting until the other two had joined him before beginning to climb.
Daniel stared upwards in disbelief, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes wearily. He tilted his head back, rubbing at his aching neck muscles. Then he saw it. Gasping, he ran up the first few steps, leaning his head against the wall in shock. His legs gave way and he sat down hard, beginning to laugh, or maybe cry; even he wasn´t sure which.
"Jackson, what the hell is the matter with you? Pull yourself together man; we don´t have time for this."
Daniel waved his flashlight at the wall. "There, see it? That´s the mark I put there the last time we passed this spot."
"What, that´s impossible." The Colonel touched the white chalk arrow, rubbing it, and then glaring at Daniel suspiciously. "You didn´t just do this now?"
Taking a deep breath, Daniel choked back the hysteria. "No, Colonel, I didn´t just do that now; why would I?"
"Maybe you just don´t want to climb anymore."
"That´s crazy. But hey, if you want to believe that then feel free to go on up. I´ll just wait here 'till you come around again."
Bishop dropped onto the step next to Daniel, arms on knees and head hanging. "How is this possible, Doctor Jackson. I mean, we´ve been climbing steadily. How could we end up going down?"
"We were climbing, yes, but I guess the path itself must have been on a downward gradient that then looped back on itself. I recognize this place now. It´s the second fork we came to. The stairs we just came up are the ones we saw going down."
The young man turned a bleak gaze on Daniel, pale face pinched and desperate. The thought that they had been endlessly climbing to no purpose almost too much to bear. "God, this is so fucked."
Daniel nodded dejectedly. "Oh yeah. Totally."
"What are you, kindergarteners? This isn´t
over yet, so quit your whining. This is a setback, nothing more.
This branch of the stairway was a decoy, so we go back and take the other route."
"Colonel, for all we know, the entire stairway is a decoy."
"That´s ridiculous. I refuse to accept anything so absurd. This is the way out, I´m sure of it. Now get up off your backsides and get moving.
There was no winding with the second stairway. No narrowing either. Instead, it got progressively steeper. Before long, the edge of each step was above waist height. Both Sloan and Bishop had put away their flashlights, switching to the P-90 laser sight instead. Daniel had kept his, securing it into one of his pockets, the light pointing straight up and wavering violently.
Step after step, grip the edge, push up with the arms, swing up a leg, clamber up, crawl to the next step, grip the edge, push up with the arms, swing up a leg, and clamber up, on and on endlessly.
The oppressive silence was broken only by Bishop´s increasingly loud grunts as he scaled the heights in front of Daniel. Behind him, Colonel Sloan was almost totally silent, only the occasional rustle of clothing or scrape of his weapon betraying his presence.
It felt to Daniel as though this had always been his life, and always would be. Grip the edge, swing up a leg, and clamber up
"Sir, Doctor Jackson, I think I can see the top. It´s not far. I´m sure it´s the top. We made it."
For a moment, Bishop´s exited words didn´t register, and then Daniel gasped as they began to penetrate the fog in his brain. The top, they had finally reached the top. He looked up to see Bishop scrambling quickly up the stairs and he sped up himself, his exhaustion tempered by the relief. It seemed the end really was in sight. He heard the Colonel´s triumphant bark of laughter.
"There, see Jackson, I told you this was the way out. Bishop, what do you see?"
"I´m on the top step. Sir, there´s a door."
"Well open it, man; what are you waiting for."
Daniel had reached the final step, leaning against it as he watched Bishop rush to the doorway, yank it open and step through.
The terrified cry jolted him into action. He leaped up onto the step and was at the door in seconds. It had swung open, now standing at right angles. A shocked Bishop clinging desperately from the handle as he dangled over the void.
"Oh my god. Here, reach for my hand." Daniel leaned out as far as he dared, but still his hand was a good six inches short of Bishop´s straining fingers. Then the Colonel was beside him, gripping the doorjamb and offering his hand. Daniel took it, griping wrist to wrist, as he tipped his body outwards, trusting his weight to the other man. This time it was enough. His fingers brushed Bishop´s, and then caught, and with a tug, the door was swinging towards him, bringing Bishop closer.
Daniel caught him around the waist as the Colonel pulled them both back to safety. Feet finally back on solid ground, Bishop let out a sob, taking a step away from the edge before dropping to his knees and pressing himself against the wall.
Daniel and the Colonel stood in the open doorway, stunned at what had happened.
The Colonel shook his head in denial, unable to accept the evidence of his own eyes. "This is impossible. It has to lead somewhere. This makes no sense."
"I know."
"There must be a way down, perhaps another level below this one, or a path. We can climb down."
"Colonel "
"Yes, that´s what we need to do, climb down."
"Climb down to what? Colonel, there´s nothing there."
"There has to be. Wait." searching through his pack, he took out a lightstick, breaking it and tossing it through the doorway.
They watched it fall. They watched it until it faded into a pinprick of light and disappeared.
"How long was that falling?"
"I don´t know, Colonel. A long time."
There was no path, no way down, there was nothing. A whole lot of nothing. The Colonel was stunned. He had been so sure that this was the way out. "There´s no path."
"No."
There´s nothing, just nothing."
"I know."
"But how can that be? Why would anyone build a staircase that goes nowhere? It makes no sense."
"It´s a Labyrinth, Colonel, that´s kind of the point of it. It's supposed to confound all who enter."
"Dammit, Jackson, you´re supposed to be the expert on this stuff, why can´t you find a way out?"
"I know *of* it. I don´t know how to get through it. I did try to warn you Colonel, that nothing here is what it seems to be."
"What the hell kind of good is that? And if you can´t get us out of here, then what the hell kind of good are you?"
The Colonel was shouting now, intruding into Daniel´s personal space, nose to nose. Daniel backed away, shaken by the hostile attitude. Sure, Jack yelled at him sometimes, but he had never felt threatened by him. He felt threatened now. Afraid, bone weary and now under attack by a man on whom he should be able to depend. God, he missed Jack.
"Colonel look, I think we need to calm down. We´re all tired and we need to rest."
"Rest? Here? Are you crazy? What we need is to get out."
"That isn´t going to happen if we´re exhausted. It was already getting dark when we were transported here, and we´ve been walking for hours since then. By the time we get back down the staircase it´ll be the early hours of the morning, Earth time. We need to eat, get some sleep, and when we´re rested we can work out a way to get home."
"Eat and sleep, hah, I might have known it. You civilians are all the same. Soft. I don´t know why O´Neill puts up with your whining. I know I´m sure as hell not going to."
"Colonel "
"What was that?"
"What was what?"
"That sound. There it is. Growling. It´s the beast; it´s in here with us. Still want to sleep, Jackson?"
"I don´t hear anything. Are you sure?"
"Of course I´m sure. It´s the beast; we have to find it, kill it."
"What? You want to go chasing monsters now? What about finding a way out?"
"That is our way out. The beast has been seen on the outskirts of the town, so it must know the route out of here, maybe it even has a control device for the rings. If we find it, we can complete our mission and get out. Looks like you´re off the hook, Jackson, I worked it out for you, all you have to do is keep up and stay out of my way. Bishop, on your feet, we´re moving out."
Daniel helped the still dazed marine to his feet as the Colonel leapt down the steps.
"Bishop, did you hear anything."
Bishop gave him a concerned look. "No, I didn´t."
"Neither did I."
"This place is fucked."
"You said that before."
"So? It was fucked then, and it still is now. Nothing´s changed."
"I don´t know about that. I have a bad feeling that things might just have gotten a whole lot worse."
Jack was the first through the Stargate, striding towards the two people standing uneasily to one side as Sam, Teal´c SG´s 2, and 5 emerged from the wormhole behind him.
"Lieutenant Tyler, Doctor Harmon. Still no word from Colonel Sloan?"
"No Sir; nothing."
Jack nodded grimly. Colonel Sloan was an experienced officer. If he could have made contact, he would have. That left little doubt that Daniel that all the missing men were in trouble.
The wormhole behind him closed down as the last man came through. He turned, catching Carter and Teal´c´s eyes, the concern he saw there matching his own. The guilt was his alone.
"Okay then, let´s go get our people. Tyler, lead the way."
Carter came up to walk beside him but he barely acknowledged her presence, oblivious to the small worried glances she kept sending his way. His thoughts were fully occupied with Daniel, and his own culpability for his friend´s current situation.
He wasn´t stupid. He knew he had been giving Daniel a hard time lately, and that it was in large part because of him that Daniel had chosen to join SG-11 on this mission. Once again, he could feel the edge of anger at Daniel for being the cause of his disordered emotions, but this time he pushed it away. This time, he allowed himself to examine the root cause of his unease.
Thinking back, it had started with Nem. It had started with Daniel lost, and everything good in Jack´s life turned to ashes. Nothing mattered to him anymore. He was ready to resign, to give up and give in to his despair. All because he believed Daniel was dead. His reaction scared him, the depth of his anguish shocking. How could he not have realised how important Daniel had become to him?
And with that knowledge came fear. Not that he would lose Daniel, but he would lose himself to Daniel. Daniel had become too close, too much a part of him, and he didn´t know how to deal with that. He had never felt for anyone what he felt for Daniel, not even Sara.
He loved her, but there was always a part of himself that he kept separate from her. He told himself that it was for her own good, and that he was protecting her by hiding the darkness inside from her, but he had always known that that was a lie. He liked the secrecy. He would happily share the good times with her, but he would never allow her to touch his pain. It was his, and she could have no part in it.
But Daniel, god, from the very beginning he had blown past all of Jacks barriers, forcing him to confront his anguish and to deal with it. Because of Daniel, he could think of Charlie with pride and happiness. He could remember that he was a good father, not some monster who had allowed his child to die. He could remember the happy little boy who had loved his Daddy. Because of Daniel.
Even then, barely a week after they had first met, Daniel understood more about Jack than Sara had learned in years. And that was what terrified Jack. The knowledge that he could never hold back from Daniel. That once he let Daniel in he would burrow in so deeply that the loss of him would destroy Jack.
So he protected himself. He pulled away, trying to get some distance between the two of them. But Daniel wouldn´t let him go. Daniel the archaeologist had chipped away at him, and would have kept on digging through the layers of his defences until Jack was laid bare before him. So Jack fought back. Sniping at him, constantly criticising, undermining and pushing at him.
He found the perfect defence in Sam. He knew she was attracted to him, so he used her. He had thought she was the safe option. That she was too much the career officer to risk everything for an affair with her C.O. They could flirt and pine hopelessly for each other. They could give each other the sad, longing looks, the looks that said 'if only things were different'. They could indulge in a doomed, unrequited romance, and he would be safe. Because they both knew that it could never go anywhere.
Just look where that little plan had put him. Because Carter hadn´t followed the script. Instead of the capable, efficient 2IC he had come to rely on, he was left with a simpering schoolgirl, happy to play follow my leader. Someone who obeyed his orders unconditionally, letting him do as he pleased without sanction. Of course, she had to do her duty, but a part of that duty was to confront him if she believed that he had made the wrong decision, to give him options.
He had destroyed that. And his guilt over the mess he had created was making things worse. He let her get away with too much. He never forced her to face her own mistakes, never insisted that she take responsibility for her actions. There had been countless times when he should have reprimanded her but hadn´t, because he knew that her loss of objectivity, her arrogance and overconfidence, all sprang from his own attitude toward her.
He hated that he couldn´t respect her anymore, but then, he deserved the awkwardness he now felt around Carter. That wasn´t the worst of it for him. No, far worse was that he had destroyed the special rapport that had once existed between Carter and Daniel. He used to love watching them together, attacking a problem and beating it into submission with their combined intellects. They were the best and everyone knew it. And they were his. His wunderkinds. With the two of them and Teal´c at their backs, they were invincible. He missed that so much.
They weren´t a team anymore. They still went on mission together, but they weren´t a team. Teal´c had his own concerns, needing to spend more time with his own people. Jack had always known how important the Jaffa rebellion was to him. He knew that the only reason Teal´c had abandoned his family and his position to join them was in the hopes of someday freeing his people. He knew it, but he ignored it, just as he ignored everything he didn´t want to face. Well, he couldn´t ignore it any longer because 'someday' had come, and now it looked as though they could to lose Teal´c.
Then there were Carter and Daniel. They didn´t work together anymore, not really. Daniel tried. It killed Jack to see his pain when Carter took his ideas and kept them, giving nothing back. Took what he gave her, and then presented everything as her own. He didn´t think she did it on purpose. Like him, she was an expert at denial. Hell, she probably convinced herself that she really had come up with the answers on her own. Her ego would never allow her to admit that the one intuitive spark, the one factor that allowed them to make the final vital connection, always came from Daniel. Daniel had the instinctive ability to make that leap of faith that she didn´t dare contemplate.
He wondered sometimes if maybe Carter had always resented Daniel. After all, he had succeeded in opening the Stargate after she had failed to do so, and then he had been included on that first mission. The mission she had made a point of saying she should have been on, although why she deserved that, she never explained. He knew which one he would rather have along. If it hadn´t been for Daniel, not only would he be dead, but so would a great many people in Colorado since there would have been no one to stop Ra from sending the bomb through the gate.
Then again, maybe she really had enjoyed working with someone whose mind was as sharp as hers. Most likely, it was somewhere between the two. Which meant the breakdown in their relationship really was his fault. Because he was the reason she needed to win. She needed to be the one to present him with the solutions. She needed to be the one to get his praise. She so desperately needed his approval that she could never allow Daniel even a tiny piece of it. All of this his fault. So much damage done, and all because he was too afraid to love Daniel.
Yes, he could admit it now, now that he had completely alienated the man. He loved Daniel. Totally and absolutely. He was tired of running from this, and besides, the success of his avoidance techniques were clearly less than stellar. All his lies and resistance had done was to bring about the very thing he had feared. The loss of Daniel. Because if he hadn´t behaved like such an ass, Daniel would never have chosen to join SG-11 for this mission. He would have known that his place was with SG-1.
Jack winced as he recalled the last thing he had said to Daniel. That Daniel shouldn´t expect him to come running to the rescue when he got himself into trouble. How could he have said something so cruel? Well, that was the last time he was going to hurt Daniel. Once they got him safely back to the SGC, things were going to change. He was going to make it up to Daniel. He was going to show Daniel that he truly cared for him. He would prove to Daniel how valued and respected he was so that Daniel could have no doubts of where he belonged.
Unconsciously he began to walk faster. He needed to fix this mess he had created; get things back on track. It may be too late for any kind of deeper relationship with Daniel, but at least he could have his friend back. He needed that. He needed Daniel. He realised now that he always had.
"There, you had to have heard it that time."
Yes, Daniel had heard it, although what 'it' was, he couldn´t be sure. "I heard something."
"It´s the beast; it has to be."
"I don´t know, Colonel. It didn´t sound like any kind of animal. More grinding and scraping than growling. Like rocks moving against each other."
"No, it was the beast, and I´ll prove it to you as soon as we find it."
Daniel shook his head, too exhausted to think clearly, but even so, he was certain that chasing after a mythical monster in their current state was not a wise choice. "I think we should go back."
"What do you mean 'go back'? Back where?"
"Back to the ring room."´ As the Colonel made to protest, Daniel grabbed his arm, demanding his attention. "Look, it has to be morning by now. They´ll be searching for us. I think we need to be somewhere they can find us easily, or they could get lost in this place."
Colonel Sloan pulled himself free violently. "You want me to abandon my mission? Wait around for rescue like some pathetic loser? Well, fuck you, Jackson. I have a job to do and I´m not leaving here empty handed."
"Dammit, I am not the enemy; we´re on the same side, for god´s sake." Watching the tense figure pacing in front of him, Daniel knew that he needed to find a way to reason with the man, but how did you tell someone who could break you in half with one hand tied behind his back that you thought he was going nuts? "Colonel, we haven´t eaten or rested for more than a few minutes since we were transported here. Under those circumstances, it would be understandable if uhm, maybe your judgement was I mean, lack of sleep can make people behave uh irrationally, so "
"I don´t want to hear any more of this nonsense. You think I don´t know why you´re making all these excuses. What´s the matter, Jackson, too scared to do your duty without O´Neill here to hold your hand? Well fine, I don´t need any cowards holding me up. Go on, go back, hell, do any damn thing you want. I´m going to find the beast and kill it, with or without your help. Bishop, with me."
As the Colonel strode away, Bishop shrugged despairingly at Daniel before following. For a moment, Daniel considered his options, knowing that really, he had no choice. Adjusting his pack, he followed his companions.
Jack stopped his frustrated pacing to glare at Rose Harmon. "Dammit, I don´t see the problem. They´re happy to lead us, we want to be led. What are we waiting for?"
Looking unhappy, she motioned him away from the Keetans before replying. "Sir, the problem isn´t getting to the Labyrinth; it´s what we do once we´re there."
"What we do Doctor Harmon, is find our people."
"Yes Sir, I know that. I´m just saying "
"Look, we don´t have time for this. Tell these people to "
"Sir, please, you have to listen. This is exactly what went wrong before." Stamping her foot with exasperation, Rose scowled at Jack. "Daniel was so right."
That was enough to stop Jack dead in his tracks. "Of course he was. Right about what, exactly?"
"He wanted more information about the Labyrinth before going there, but the Colonel wouldn´t listen. Huh, I guess impatience is a Colonel thing."
"And sarcasm must be an archaeologist thing."
"I´m an anthropologist."
"Harmon "
"Right, anyway, my point is, Colonel Sloan was convinced that they could handle the situation. And now they´re missing."
Jack sighed. She was right. He knew that. Knew also that Daniel would have said the same thing. Had, in fact said exactly the same thing, and his opinions had been disregarded. His anger at Colonel Sloan was swift and intense. How dare the man ignore Daniel like that? Daniel was the expert here, and his suggestions should be valued, not ignored. His anger died as he realised that his own treatment of Daniel had been no better lately. Hardly surprising that Colonel Sloan felt confident in overriding Daniel when he saw Jack, his C.O. and supposed best friend do the exact same thing. Something else he was responsible for, dammit. Well, maybe it was time he stopped being an ass and went back to being a proper leader. Which meant listening to advice from those with more knowledge than him.
"How long do you need?"
Rose smiled in relief. "An hour, maybe two at most. I spent time in their main archives when I was here before, so I know what to look for."
"And the Keetans are okay with this?"
"Oh yes Sir, no problem. They want rid of the Minotaur as much as we want to find our people. They´ll give us all the help we need if there´s a chance we can solve their problem for them."
"Anything we can do to speed things along?"
"Uhm, well, maybe Matt could give me a hand. You know, with the heavy lifting. Some of those old tomes are heavier than an Italian tenor on steroids."
"Fine. Tyler, go with her, and keep your eyes open. We´ll be here once you´re done."
Jack watched them go, Rose talking and gesturing
rapidly, the tall marine bending his head to listen to her, occasionally urging
her along with a hand on her back.
He felt a touch on his arm and turned to see Ferretti giving him an encouraging
smile.
"That was a good call, Colonel. We´ve got a much better chance of rescuing our people if we know what we´re rescuing them from."
"I know, it´s just you know."
"Yeah, I know. But we will find them, that is unless Daniel comes up with some way to get them out of whatever mess they´re in before we get there. You know what he´s like. Totally relentless when there´s some problem to solve. Daniel will be okay. They all will. I figure you got the hard part. It´s not easy sitting around waiting when someone you care about is lost and maybe in danger."
Jack looked at him sharply, trying to detect any sign of mockery, but there was nothing, only the sincere concern of a friend.
"Thanks, Lou, that helps, and yes, Daniel will be fine. At least, he better be, or I´ll kick his butt into the middle of next week."
Ferretti laughed before moving off to join his team. Jack settled himself in the shade of a convenient tree, tipping back his head and closing his eyes, trying not to think of Daniel lost; Daniel hurt; Daniel in danger. Trying not to think of Daniel.
"Sir."
Eyes snapping open, Jack frowned as Carter made her way over to him, smiling confidently. Damn.
"Carter."
"Sir, you should try to eat something while we wait."
"Not now, Carter, but you go right ahead."
"I really think you should. Who knows when we´ll get the chance again."
"Dammit, I said no. Look, I just want to be left alone. I can´t be thinking of food while Daniel "
"Sir, he´ll be fine. You know Daniel. "
"Yes, I know Daniel. Why do you think I´m so worried?"
"Sir, starving yourself isn´t going to do him any good. You should at least have a power bar. Why don´t I go and get you "
"For crying out loud, Carter, will you quit fussing over me. I already have one mother, I don´t need another."
Her mouth opened in a silent 'O' of surprise, clearly shocked at the rebuke. Jack fought to contain his annoyance as she turned unhappy eyes, brimming with reproach on him. Damn, he so didn´t need to deal with this crap now. Now she was pouting. She was honest to god pouting. Not a good look for her. She was a grown woman for god´s sake. Sure, Daniel pouted sometimes, but that was completely different. He had the lips for it for one thing. God, did he have the lips for it. None of which was what Jack needed to be thinking about right now. He had a job to do, and he couldn´t allow himself to be distracted by Daniel´s lips, no matter how undeniably luscious they might be.
"Sir."
Clearly, Carter wasn´t happy at being ignored. Sighing, he turned back to his 2IC. He really didn´t want to hurt her, but this whole 'little woman´ thing had to stop. It was his own fault for encouraging her, but who knew Carter could be so girly. He appreciated that she was an attractive woman, and he truly liked her, but he was simply not attracted to her. Funny to think that sleeping with her would be the equivalent of a buddy fuck, while sleeping with Daniel would be a life altering event; a lifetime commitment. Or maybe not so funny since he felt no desire to laugh.
"O´Neill."
And another country heard from. "Teal´c. Are you going to tell me to eat too?"
"For what reason? I am confident that should you require sustenance, you will obtain the necessary provisions."
"Well thank you, Teal´c."
"You are concerned for DanielJackson."
"Ya think?"
"You are not alone in your concern."
"Teal´c "
"Yet I believe that DanielJackson will prevail."
"You do?"
"I do. Once I believed him to be vulnerable. I believed his inclusion on the team to be an error. I was wrong. DanielJackson carries within him a strength of will more formidable than any warrior I have before encountered. I trust in his determination and courage. My one regret is that I have not communicated this belief to him. I intend to remedy this omission when he is recovered."
Looking at Teal´c in amazement, Jack slowly nodded. "You´re right. And I think that you´re not the only one who has something to say to Daniel. It´s time he realised how important he is to the team."
"Indeed. His place is with SG-1. Future requests for his assistance should be rejected."
"With you 100% on that one, big guy. No way am I letting him out of my sight again after this."
"Sir, Daniel might have something to say about that. If he wants "
Jack turned on Sam, cutting her off angrily. "No, that is unacceptable. It´s up to us -all of us - to make sure that Daniel feels valued enough and needed enough not to want to go off with other teams." He glared at her, wondering if perhaps, subconsciously, she was glad at Daniel exclusion. That subconsciously she recognised his feelings for Daniel, and wanted him out of the picture.
Well, if that were the case, she would have to get over it, because Daniel was never going to be abandoned again. They would find him, and they would be a proper team once more. Nothing else was acceptable.
"Colonel, wait." Daniel watched in dismay as Colonel Sloan disappeared into the dark, twisting corridor, catching hold of Bishop as he made to follow. "Wait, we need to be careful, mark our path. It´s like a rabbit warren here."
"But the Colonel."
"Us getting lost won´t help the Colonel any."
"No, I guess not. So what do we do, keep turning right? I heard somewhere that that´s what you´re supposed to do in a maze."
"Yes, we could try that, as long as there´s a viable right turn to take. Meanwhile, we can keep calling the Colonel and hope he hears us. So, tell me Bishop, is Colonel Sloan always so uh fixated?"
"No. At least, he´s always focused on the mission objectives, but not like this. He´s a good soldier, Doctor Jackson. A good C.O."
Daniel looked closely at the younger man. He was
pale, his face gaunt. Daniel knew he was one of the new batch of recruits, and
that Colonel Sloan was his first C.O. Bishop was a soldier, trained to take
orders, but now the man whose job it was to give those orders, the man who was
expected to know the answers, was behaving in an increasingly unreasonable manner.
As daunting as this was for Daniel, it must be a hundred times worse for Bishop.
"It´ll be okay, we´ll find him, and then we´ll find a way
out of here. Come on, let´s get moving."
They made slow progress, forced to backtrack repeatedly when the path they followed
ended in a dead end. They called out to the Colonel continually, but he either
didn´t hear, or chose to ignore them. Corridor after empty corridor led
them nowhere, until one final turn brought them into a large open space with
many dark passageways leading away from it. They had found the centre of the
maze.
"Okay, we´re in. Any ideas how to get out, Doctor?"
"Not a clue." Daniel slid down the wall, head tilted back and knees hugged to his chest. Bishop dropped his backpack next to him, and then began to walk slowly around the perimeter, directing his flashlight into each corridor in turn and hollering for the Colonel. Finally, back with Daniel, he leaned against the wall next to him.
"I don´t suppose the Colonel left any indication of which way he went?"
"No, not a thing."
Daniel rubbed his hands over his face, needing to get his mind functioning. "Assuming that each of these passageways leads to a different part of the labyrinth, he could be anywhere."
"Not helping, Doc."
"What? Oh, sorry, thinking aloud. His behaviour when he ran in here was irrational, so it´s unlikely he followed any kind of system."
"And?"
"And that means he may well not have gotten this far yet, so I think we need to wait here, at least for awhile."
"What, just sit tight and hope he shows up?"
Daniel shrugged. "Hey, if you have any better ideas, I´m listening."
Pulling out his canteen, Bishop tipped back his head to drink deeply. "No, no, you´re right; we can´t just pick a direction. Look, why don´t you get some sleep while I take first watch."
The gunshot that shattered the silence was shockingly unexpected, jolting Daniel to his feet as he searched the darkness for the Minotaur. "What the hell "
A wet gurgle from behind brought him spinning around to stare in disbelief into Bishop´s terrified eyes. The other man reached for him as his knees gave out and he fell heavily to the floor. "Oh god, oh god, Help me, please help me. Oh god, I´m bleeding."
Daniel was crouched by his side immediately, pressing down on the gushing wound as hard as he could. Moments later, he heard the footsteps coming up fast behind him. He spun his head around, the only movement he could make while still maintaining pressure on the wound. "Oh, thank god, Colonel, you have to help me."
"Did you see it? It came in here, I was following and I saw it come in here. I shot it, I know I did."
"No. Bishop. You shot Bishop."
"What are you talking about? Bishop? No, no, that´s impossible. It was that thing. I know it was. That fucking monstrous thing." He continued to stand, shaking his head in denial.
"Well don´t just stand there man. Bishop needs help. Get the first aid kit out of my pack."
He did so, bringing it to Daniel, then helping him to remove Bishop´s vest and jacket to get at the injury. While Colonel Sloan took over the job of controlling the bleeding, Daniel began pulling out everything he would need to treat the wound. Before starting, he pushed two painkillers into Bishop's mouth, supporting his head as he tilted the canteen against his lips. Once the pills were gone, he laid his head back down, keeping his hand on the sweat damp hair, stroking gently.
"I´m going to dress the wound now, okay? I´ll be as careful as I can, but it´s going to hurt, Christopher. That´s right, isn´t it? Christopher, or is it Chris?"
"Chris, mostly, except for my Mom when she gets mad at me. Then it´s Christopher James."
Daniel laughed, wanting to keep the young man as calm as possible. The bullet had passed through his shoulder. Not life threatening under normal circumstances, but he was bleeding badly and would need more than the first aid kit and Daniel could provide. Suddenly, finding a way out had taken on a much greater urgency.
He worked fast, pulling the jacket closed once he was done, then turned to Sloan. "We´re going to have to carry him, and I don´t see we have any option now except to go back to the ring room."
"Are you crazy? I can´t go back now. I shot a man. I‘d lose everything. My rank, my command, pension, everything. I could get sent to Leavenworth for this."
"No, it was an accident. I´ll tell them it was an accident. It´ll be okay. We just need to get Bishop back to the SGC and he´ll be fine."
"I can´t lose it all, I just can´t. I need to complete this mission. I have to finish this or there´ll be nothing for me. I can´t go back to nothing."
"Colonel, just stop. We don´t have the time for this. Please, you have to help me, or Bishop will die and that really will be murder. I can´t do this on my own, Colonel, you have to help me."
"I have no choice, what can I do, I have no choice." The Colonel stood, but he didn´t help. Instead, he wandered into the darkness, still muttering to himself.
"No, I don´t believe it, Colonel Sloan! God, I don´t believe it, he´s gone."
"Doctor Jackson?"
"It´s okay, Chris, It´ll be okay. I´m going to help you stand now, and then we´re going to get out of here."
"But the Colonel."
"There´s nothing we can do for him now. Once we get you out we can send a search party back for him."
Daniel bent to help Bishop, the first bullet slamming into the wall where his head had been only moments before. He gasped, flicking off his flashlight and grabbing Bishop, dragging him towards the nearest opening. The second shot came quickly, hitting close. He pulled his gun, firing blindly, giving them the time they needed to get into the corridor.
Daniel heaved Bishop over his shoulder, running with him. He wove his way through the snaking passageways, panting and desperate. He came to a series of small rooms and moved through them, pushing through as many as possible, while always behind him he could hear the Colonel, blundering along, banging on the walls and slamming doors.
Daniel knew they were lost, but he had to keep moving. He had to keep ahead of whatever pursued them. Bishop was walking now, stumbling along, supported by Daniel. The Labyrinth was filled with sounds, bouncing off the walls and echoing back. Not just the Colonel, but also the grinding he had heard before. It was so much louder now, surrounding them and Daniel thought that it could, after all, be the Minotaur. Through it all, Daniel´s voice stayed steady, consoling and reassuring Bishop.
They were in another passageway, this one long and straight, with no doorways from it that Daniel could find. He didn´t like this. There would be no protection here, no place to hide if the Colonel found them. Then they were at the end, and there was nothing but a blank wall. Daniel sobbed in frustration, turning to walk back the way they had come, hoping he wasn´t leading them straight into danger.
That was when he saw the door, tucked away in a dark corner. He threw it open in relief, stepping through and pulling Bishop with him. It was a small, square room, the only door the one they had just come through. No. Daniel shook his head. This couldn´t be. They had come so far, and now this. It was too much.
He was lost, responsible for the life of an injured team mate, with nothing to defend them both with except a flashlight and an empty gun. And through it all ran a deep longing for Jack. The desire to see him just once more, if only to make things right between them. Insane that that should be his biggest regret, knowing that Jack would feel guilty that their last words had been spoken in anger. He sat against the far wall, settling Bishop beside him.
"We´re going to die, aren´t we Doctor Jackson?"
Daniel swallowed, and then tried to smile. "No, we´re not going to die. We just have to hold out until Jack Colonel O´Neill finds us. Then we´ll be out of here and home."
"You really believe he can find us?"
"Yes, I really do." And Daniel realised that that was true. He did believe that Jack would find him.
"How? How can you think that?"
"Because he always does." But Daniel was very much afraid that this time, he would come too late, because now the distant banging had resolved into footsteps, rumbling footsteps echoing through the corridors, insinuating terror through Daniel´s body. And they were coming closer, almost outside the door.
He heard the footsteps stop as the thing paused beyond their sanctuary. There was nowhere left to run, and not enough strength left in him to carry Bishop further, but too much integrity to consider leaving him. Death had come for them. Hunted by Sloan and the Beast, and now cornered by one of them. Most terrifying of all, he was no longer sure which he feared the most.
He pushed himself upright, unconsciously placing himself between Bishop and danger, ready to face whatever came through the door.
God. Rings. That meant the possibility of Goa´uld involvement. Add that to three men missing and you didn´t get anything good.
What the hell had Sloan been thinking, to go banging about with no clue what he was facing? All he had had to do was delay an hour and twenty minutes. That´s all it had taken for Harmon to come up with the information they needed. One hour and twenty minutes. And with Daniel doing the looking, it would probably have been a lot less. Sloan should have listened to Daniel.
When they found him, Jack would tell him so in no uncertain terms. No more letting his guilt undermine his judgement. So he had screwed up with Daniel, time to let that go and move on. He needed to move on. He needed to get back the man he had been. Besides, how could he ask Daniel to forgive him if he couldn´t forgive himself?
At least now, they were prepared to face whatever was in the Labyrinth. Of course, it would help if they knew which Goa´uld they were up against. "Hey, Doctor Harmon, any idea which Goa´uld is involved?"
Rose scurried to catch up with him. "Well, as far as I could see, none of the usual suspects. There were a lot of references to the Minotaur."
"Teal´c, you ever hear of a Goa´uld calling himself the Minotaur?"
"I have not, O´Neill."
"What about Asterius? That was his given name."
"No, RoseHarmon. That designation is unknown to me."
Rose looked away, worried as a new possibility occurred to her.
"Harmon, that is not a good look. In fact, it´s the look Daniel always gets just before he tells us that we only have forty-eight hours to save the World. Care to share?"
"Um, well, I was thinking. The townspeople who say they´ve seen the Minotaur describe him as a huge and ferocious beast. That, uh, doesn´t sound too human. More like maybe an Unas. Possibly. Maybe." She gulped at Jack´s stunned expression. "Then again, I could be totally wrong."
"Or you could be right. Crap. People, Doctor Harmon has pointed out the possibility that we could be up against a Goa´ulded Unas. Be prepared. Those things are damn hard to kill."
They walked on in silence, all of them thinking about what lay ahead. Jack shook his head. This just got worse and worse. An *Unas*. God. This was like Daniel kidnapped by Chaka all over again, except that there would be no communicating with this Unas. Not if it was a Goa´uld. Colonel Sloan had better keep him safe. He already had one strike against him for ignoring Daniel and not finding out about the rings, so he had better keep Daniel safe.
Daniel had just better be safe, because otherwise he had better not be...dammit, rings. An Unas. God. Daniel.
It stood in the harsh light, a colossus, at least nine feet tall, the powerful body resting on legs thicker than Daniel´s waist. A huge lolling head, misshapen, a mane of black hair writhing around the skull like a nest of angry vipers. And the face, my god, it was like something from Daniel´s worst nightmare.
As it lumbered toward him, it raised its arm, grasping for him. Instinctively, he stepped back, hearing Bishop´s gasp as his new position gave the young marine his first sight of the beast. Resolutely, he held his place in front of the injured man. He had no weapon but he refused to run if Bishop could not. He would fight, and perhaps it would take only him. He could still save Bishop.
He faced it, defiant. And it did nothing. There was no attack, no slash of razor sharp claws, no tearing of predatory fangs, and no rending of flesh. Nothing. It simply stood, watching him. Then the arm dropped and it began to turn away. For a moment, the bowed head was fully illuminated, and for the first time, Daniel saw the eyes. He saw the reflected despair, the pain of rejection, and worse, the knowledge of its own monstrosity.
For the first time, Daniel saw the man. Hideously deformed, but a man nonetheless. A man in pain because of him. He reached out, catching the retreating hand and holding it in both of his own. The man stopped, the eyes wary now, and in their depths a hungry desperate hope. Daniel smiled, gripping the hand warmly. "Hello, I´m Daniel Jackson."
The twisted lips parted, clearly trying to shape the words. His voice, a surprisingly soft tenor, was hesitant. "DaaneelJaascon."
Daniel smiled and nodded encouragingly. Yes, that´s almost it. Directing the light onto his own face so that the man could see how he formed his words and enunciating every syllable, Daniel repeated, "Daniel."
"Daniel."
"Perfect, that´s perfect. Can you tell me your name?" He waited, but received nothing but a blank stare. "Okay, let´s try this." Letting go of the man, he indicated his own chest, repeating one more time, "Daniel." Then he pressed a hand to the man´s chest. Still nothing. "Has no-one ever called you anything?"
The man nodded, and then pointed as he answered. "Monster."
Oh god, no. "No, that´s no. You´re not. I won´t call you that. You need a name, and we´d better think of one before you meet Jack, or he´ll start calling you Homer, or Bart. Or Toto."
"A name? For me?"
At first, Daniel thought that he had somehow upset the man, then he realised that what he had taken to be a scowl was in fact a smile. "Yes, a name. Something I can call you when I talk to you."
"I would like to have a name."
"Okay, good. Uhm how about no, that won´t work. Maybe no, maybe not. Damn, I can´t think."
The smile faded a little as the large head dropped with accustomed disappointment. "There is no name for me?"
"No, no, of course there is, I´m just so tired I can´t focus. Look, why don´t we go with John for now, then later we can change it if we find something you like better."
"John. I like John. I can have this name?"
"Yes, yes, of course you can, if you want it. I was just saying, you know, if you found a name you liked more, you could change it."
So wrapped up was Daniel in his attempts to communicate that he had all but forgotten their situation, until a groan from behind snapped him out of his absorption. Swinging around, he dropped to the floor beside Bishop, sucking in a breath when he saw the fresh blood seeping through the dressing.
"Oh god, we need to get you out of here. John, this is Chris. He´s hurt. Can you help us?"
John moved closer, stopping immediately at Bishop´s flinch. Stroking a hand through Bishop´s hair, Daniel turned his head gently so that he could look him in the eyes. "Chris, it´s okay. This is John. He´s a friend." He felt the tense body relax slightly, Bishop clearly willing to accept his judgement.
"Chris, is it okay if he comes closer?"
Bishop hesitated only a moment before nodding. John moved to the young man´s uninjured side, bending down and lifting him easily, cradling him like a child. Going to the door, he stooped to go out, looking back as he left to make sure that Daniel was following.
Almost automatically, Daniel turned right as he left the room, only to stop in surprise as he realised that John had gone the other way. Was even now walking right towards the solid wall at the end of the hallway. Then he was gone. Daniel shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs, convinced that his eyes must be playing tricks on him. But there was no trick. John and Bishop were gone. He was alone.
He walked to the wall, thinking it might be an illusion, maybe a hologram or curtain of some sort. He leaned against it, slapping his hand against it. It was stone. Solid stone. He rested his head against it, unable to cope with this new development.
"Daniel?"
Jerking back, Daniel swung around. They were there. Bishop held securely in John´s arms. And now he saw it, the narrow passageway running parallel to the end wall, impossible to see unless you were pressed against the wall as he was now. Sighing with relief, he nodded to John as he joined him.
Three times Daniel lost John as they negotiated the tortuous passageways. After that, he caught hold of John´s tunic, trailing him like a child. The corridors became progressively narrower, the smooth black walls reaching upwards further than Daniel could see, seeming to press in on him, inviting claustrophobia. Over and over again, they seemed to be double backing, constantly twisting and turning.
The light, when it came, was blinding. Hot, blinding sunlight streaming through multicoloured leaves. For a moment, Daniel thought he must have been hallucinating, unable to grasp that they were finally free of the Labyrinth.
John led the way through a curtain of trailing vines into well Paradise. That was all Daniel could think of to describe this haven.
He was standing in a deep basin, at least a mile across. Lush green flower scattered grass spreading out into the distance. Birds sang in the large spreading trees. Water bubbled up from the ground into clear pools teeming with life.
Looking up, he could see that they were surrounded by sheer cliffs, lustrous as polished glass. Reaching out a hand, he touched the nearest wall, realising that it was no illusion. The rock face was smooth, crystalline, refracting the sunlight and filling the garden with bright colour. All it needed was the pot of gold and he could well believe that he had found the end of the rainbow.
He was in Disney world. They had walked out of a John Carpenter film straight into Disney world. Unbelievable.
A few feet away John was busy settling Bishop on a mat of dried grass and leaves in the mouth of a cave. Daniel joined him, watching over his shoulder as John gently exposed the wound to peer at it intently. The skin around the bullet hole was disturbingly red and inflamed, although mercifully no longer bleeding.
"Cantile leaves will help. They will stop the the I don´t know the word. It is when the hurt is sick."
"An infection, yes, I know what you mean. You have these leaves?"
"I keep them for accidents." Getting up he went to a shelf in the rock, bringing back a bowl of pungent gloop.
"John, are you sure about this? I mean that looks uh yucky."
"It is cantile leaves. I grind them with water and tabel root."
"And that stops the wound from festering?"
"It makes it good again. The hurt will go."
"Well, I guess it´s no worse than some of the stuff Janet makes us take."
John hesitated, looking down at the ointment uncertainly. "I would not hurt him."
"Oh, of course, I know that, I didn´t mean sorry, please, go ahead. I know you only want to help us."
Nodding, John bent to his task. Daniel watched until he noticed the paintings on the cave wall. "John, did you do those?"
"Yes."
"Is it okay if I look?"
"Yes."
Studying the pictures, the style and skill was obvious, bold colours almost childlike in their simplicity.
The first few showed children playing together: tossing a ball, running, jumping rope and generally doing kid things. Happy pictures. Then they changed. The children still played, but one child, noticeably bigger than the others, stood apart.
The next picture showed this same boy standing behind two adults, a man and a woman. His parents perhaps? At first, Daniel thought that they must be shielding the boy, but something in their manner was wrong. He realised that it wasn´t protection, but shame. They weren´t defending, they were concealing.
The next picture showed the same three people, hurrying away from the town. From the lamp the man held aloft Daniel assumed it was night, and from the large pack over his shoulder that it was no midnight stroll. The woman led the child, keeping him wrapped in her cloak, hidden from prying eyes.
A groan from behind him claimed his attention. If only he had been able to grab the first aid kit during their desperate flight then he would have something to ease Bishop´s pain. Well, at least he could offer some comfort while John tended to his wounds.
Starting towards him, he stopped short as the soft, lilting melody filled the air. John was singing. A lullaby. The kind of thing a mother would sing to a fractious child. The kind of song John´s mother must once have sung to him before his difference began to manifest. A beautiful song full of warmth and security and love. And it was working its magic now. Bishop had quieted, relaxing into sleep.
Any peace the song had given Daniel vanished with the next painting. It showed the rings retracting and leaving the child, arms reaching up in silent despair. Under his feet and all around him were the tiny remains of dead babies. Oh god, how could anyone do something so terrible to a helpless child, let alone their own son. And Daniel was now convinced that John wasn´t the first to be discarded in this way, only the first to survive.
Daniel looked back at John, seeing how tenderly he cared for the injured man, how gently he eased his pain. How had John survived such a betrayal? He should be a monster after what had been done to him, yet he had shown them nothing but kindness.
And from the next picture, it would seem that compassion had always been a part of this man. The child was moving the bodies, laying them side by side against the wall. Giving them the dignity in death that they had been denied in life.
The next few pictures all had the same theme. The child wandering through the Labyrinth, sleeping and eating with only the light from his lamp for company. And then he was out. He had miraculously found his way through the twisting passages into this oasis. He had lived here, living off the fruit, berries and roots he found. He had made it his home. But the story didn´t stop there. He went back into the Labyrinth, exploring, looking for a way out, and finally ending up back in the ring room. And while he stood there watching, the rings activated, delivering another baby into hell.
John took it and cared for it, cradling it and rocking it, but what could he do? He was still a child himself and the baby died. He took it back and laid it with the others, and after that, he checked regularly. Child after child came through the rings and he cared for them all until they too died.
Once, when he was a small, Daniel had found a wounded bird at his parents dig site. He had taken it home and tried to look after it, but by morning, it was dead. He could remember clinging to his mother and crying for hours after his father had taken the small corpse away. How much worse must it have been for John, knowing that there was nothing he could do but offer comfort to the dying infants. Had he sung to them too? God, what must his life have been like all those years?
The final series showed the child grown into a man. As with the early pictures, he stood apart, hiding himself behind rocks and trees as he watched others live. It showed them notice him and run screaming, pointing at him in accusation. Calling him a monster. This was the source for his answer when Daniel had asked him his name. This was the only name he could remember ever being called.
Staring at the paintings, Daniel frowned, knowing that what they revealed was significant, but he couldn´t focus. He was so tired. Maybe if he rested for a while, then he could figure this out. He looked once more at the paintings. The child, now a man John watching the townspeople. The stories the townspeople told of seeing the Minotaur, so that must mean that
"Oh my god, John, you know a way to get to the town."
Standing, John turned to look at him. "Yes."
"Please, you have to help us. Will you take us home?"
John ducked his head, shuffling his feet nervously.
"John, please, Chris needs to get to a doctor."
Still refusing to look at Daniel, John´s voice sounded dull and subdued. "I have given him the leaves. They will help him."
"Yes, I can see he´s better, but it won´t be enough. He lost a lot of blood and he needs more help than we can give him here. If we don´t get him back, he´ll die, like the babies."
That brought John´s head snapping up, his wide eyes staring into Daniel´s. Then he dropped his head again and nodded. "I will show you the way."
Daniel let out the breath he hadn´t even realised he was holding. They were going home. But why was John so sad? Then it hit him. John had been alone almost his entire life, reduced to watching from a distance. They must be the first people he had spoken to since he was a child, and now they were leaving, and he would be alone again. Angry with himself for being so thoughtless, Daniel caught hold of John´s arm to get his attention.
"John, I want you to come with us. Will you?"
Agitated, John pulled away, shaking his head anxiously. "No, no. Monster. Monster. No, can´t "
"John, no, it would be different. Look, we don´t even have to go to the town. My friends and I, we live a long way from here. We came through the Stargate, the Chappa´ai."
At John´s blank look, Daniel grabbed a stick and drew a circle in the earth, adding a little line of stick figures walking through it. "Here, this is us."
John nodded. "Yes, the big circle. I have seen it. But it was empty."
"Yes, most of the time it is empty. But if you press the right symbols on the uh the thing in front of it, it fills with something that looks like water but isn´t, and then you can go through it to other places. Far away places that are nothing like here."
"You come from one of those places?"
"Yes. I´m from a place called Earth."
"I would not be monster on Earth?"
Daniel hesitated, wishing he could reassure him unequivocally, but he couldn´t. People were people, whichever planet they lived on, but he could only hope that those at the SGC would be more accepting. "John, I´ll be there to make sure that you´re not."
"You would do that?"
"Of course I would. That´s what friends do
for each other."
John stared wonderingly at Daniel. "A friend. It is good to have a friend. I
will go to Earth. I will like to be not alone."
"Good. That´s good."
Bending down, John lifted the still sleeping Bishop, carrying him into the cave. "Come, we will go to the circle that is not water."
They had been walking through the caves for what seemed like hours, John tirelessly carrying Bishop while Daniel followed.
At least, Daniel thought, these caves were just caves. They didn´t ooze that pervading sense of desolation that saturated the Labyrinth. Here, he could believe that there was an end to their journey. And ending soon, since now he no longer needed his flashlight to see. The light was faint, but present, and growing stronger with every step.
One more corner turned and he could see the opening to the cave. The rock wall gave way to dense foliage. Daniel took the lead, pushing it aside and clearing a path for John and Bishop.
They emerged into a narrow crevice that gradually became shallower until they were finally out. Daniel looked around frowning. This place looked familiar.
"John, I think I know where we are. I´m sure we passed here on the way to the Labyrinth. We´re about two hours away from the town, right?"
Not waiting for an answer, Daniel moved further away from the rocks, looking around to get his bearings. What he saw stopped him in his tracks, then he began to run, shouting and waving frantically. "Jack, Jack, wait. I´m here. Jack!"
The group turned as one, staring at him in disbelief as he ran towards them. Then the guns came up, bringing Daniel to a shuddering halt, unable to believe that Jack was aiming a gun at him. He walked forward hesitantly, only to stop again when Jack began to shout at him to get down. He couldn´t understand what was happening. He waited, hoping something would start making sense.
Jack was still yelling at him to get out of the way, but out of the way of what, he wasn´t saying. Finally, Jack started to come towards him, now motioning him forward. So, Jack wasn´t mad at him, he just wanted him to...to, dammit, what did he want? Daniel took one step forward, and that step saved his life.
The dirt kicked up behind him. In the same instant gunshots shattered the stillness and for one terrible second, Daniel thought that Jack was shooting at him, and then something slammed into him from behind and he was beyond thinking.
Jack spun around at the sound of his own name. Daniel was running towards them, waving and shouting. Daniel. He was safe and he was here. Daniel was safe. The relief was overwhelming, so much so that for a moment Jack was frozen in disbelief, Sam´s incredulous, "Sir, it´s Daniel," snapping him out of his daze.
Grinning widely, he started forward, trying to decide whether he wanted to hug Daniel or whack him upside the head for giving them all such a scare. Hug him. Definitely, absolutely positively hug him until he squeaked. Grab hold of him, squeeze him tight, and never let him go. Oh yeah.
That was when he saw the thing stalking him. It came from between the rocks carrying Bishop´s limp body. It was hideous. Immense. This was the Minotaur that so terrified the Keetans. It already had Bishop, and now it was after Daniel. Jack had thought that Daniel was running to them, but instead he must have been running away from this monster.
Instantly, Jack brought up his weapon, pleased to see that the rest of his people had done the same. The two Keetan guides ran, screaming, but Jack paid them no attention. His whole focus was Daniel. The need to get Daniel away to safety.
Daniel had stopped, looking confused and standing in the worst possible position. He was directly in their line of fire, making it impossible to get a clean shot at the Minotaur. Daniel started to walk towards them again, but too slowly. Much too slowly. Dammit, Daniel needed to move. Now.
"Daniel, Daniel, get down."
Daniel stopped again. He didn´t get down and he didn´t get out of the way. Exasperated Jack tried again.
"Daniel, move. Get out of the way. You have to get out of the way."
The Minotaur too had paused, standing menacingly a few feet from Daniel, fixing its ravenous gaze on him. What was it waiting for? Was it taunting them, letting them believe that Daniel could be saved, only to snatch him away at the last moment? No, Jack would never allow that to happen. He would not allow Daniel to be lost now, not when they were so close to saving him.
Jack took several cautious steps towards Daniel, keeping his P-90 trained on the Minotaur as he walked. Seeing him move was the impetus Daniel must have needed, as he too took a step forward.
Jack heard the gunshots, the bullets striking the ground behind Daniel, missing him by a hairs breadth. He stared into the rocks, searching for the source of the gunfire, turning back instantly with a shout as the Minotaur ran at Daniel.
Daniel was thrown to the ground, Bishop dropped beside him as the monster landed on top of them both. More rapid gunfire sounded and for the first time, Jack saw Colonel Sloan. The man looked crazed, howling incomprehensibly, running forward erratically and firing indiscriminately at the pile of bodies.
Most of the rounds were wide of the mark, but not all. Jack saw at least one hit the Minotaur, sending up a spurt of blood. Another struck the ground only inches from Daniel´s head.
"Dammit Sloan, hold your fire, you´ll hit Daniel or Bishop."
The firing continued unabated. Thank god, the wounded Minotaur had fallen on top of Daniel and Bishop. At least that gave them some protection, but not enough, the shots striking dangerously close to Daniel. It almost seemed that Sloan was aiming at Daniel, and not the Minotaur, but that was impossible.
"Sloan, stop man, what are you doing?"
Sloan stopped, and Jack heaved a sigh of relief, but the man was only pausing to reload before continuing on his rampage. This was crazy, didn´t he care that he was endangering his own people? Jack could see Teal´c running towards Sloan, but he wasn´t going to reach him in time. There was only one way that Jack could think of to stop Sloan before he killed Daniel, however distasteful it might be. Reluctantly, he turned his weapon on Sloan, firing a single shot into the man´s right thigh.
Sloan staggered, but didn´t stop. He didn´t even seem to notice that he had been hit. Jack fired again, the left thigh this time. Sloan dropped to the ground, trying to push himself up so that he could carry on firing. Teal´c had reached him now and, standing over Sloan, he reached down to pluck the P-90 from his grasp.
Sloan looked surprised, staring at his empty hands. Then he reached down and pulled his knife, holding it in his teeth while he dragged himself forward. Following, Teal´c drew out his zat, firing one blast that finally stilled the Colonel.
Seeing that Teal´c had the Sloan situation well in hand, Jack ran to Daniel. Lifting his foot to boot the Minotaur off his friend, he watched with revulsion as the monster rolled face up with a groan.
Dropping to Daniel, he untangled him from Bishop, noting the copious bloodstains with alarm.
"Carter, Tyler, get over here. And Chiklis, you go see to Colonel Sloan."
SG-2´s medic took off to where Colonel Sloan lay, still out cold, while Tyler knelt by Bishop and Carter joined him by Daniel.
Jack was already patting Daniel down when Sam reached them, looking for the source of the blood, but he could find nothing.
"Where the hell did all this blood come from? I can´t find a thing wrong with him."
"Sir, I don´t think it´s his blood. It must have come from the Minotaur."
"Then why is he still unconscious?"
"I don´t know, Sir. He fell hard, and then he had that thing on top of him, so I guess he must have been knocked out. He really doesn´t seem to be injured."
"Thank god. Tyler, how´s Bishop?"
"He has a shoulder wound Sir. It´s been dressed with something, I don´t know what, but it sure as hell isn´t a standard field dressing. I think he´s starting to come around."
Daniel twitched awake with a suddenness that caught them all off guard, Jack reaching for him as he sat up with a pained gasp. Reaching a supporting arm around him, Jack patted his face tenderly.
"Woah, steady there, buddy. Glad to see you back with us."
Daniel pulled away, looking around, disorientated. "What I was you Jack, did you shoot me?"
Shocked, Jack grabbed for him, catching both his arms to pull him close. "What, no, of course I didn´t shoot you. I would never how can you ask that."
Again, Daniel tried to free himself, but this time, Jack wouldn´t let go.
"You were aiming your guns at me. I remember. I ran to you, and then you pointed your guns at me. All of you." This time, Sam, too was included in his glare.
"C´mon, Daniel, you know better then that. This is me. Jack. Sure you can be annoying, but I'd never shoot you. Teal´c and Carter would kill me if I did." Okay, that probably wasn´t the smartest comment, especially since he was supposed to be making things right with Daniel, and he almost certainly deserved the twin glares directed at him from Daniel and Carter.
"Well, something hit me, and if it wasn´t you, what was it?" Suddenly looking panicked, Daniel stared down at himself, rubbing at the bloodstains. "Jack, am I shot?"
Softening his hold, Jack gently stroked up and down Daniel´s arms. "Daniel, your fine. You weren´t shot. No one was ever trying to shoot you. It was the Minotaur we were aiming at, and that´s who slammed into you, but don´t worry, you´re safe now."
"What are you talking about? There´s no Minotaur."
"Daniel, you´re confused. It hurt Bishop, and was chasing you, but it´s okay now. Colonel Sloan stopped him, so "
"Sloan! He got out of the Labyrinth? How did he get out of the Labyrinth? You said he was here. He´s found us. Jack, we have to get away, he´s nuts. We have to get away. Where´s Bishop? Is Bishop okay?"
Pushing on Jack´s shoulders, Daniel tried to get up, pitched back into the terror of the Labyrinth at the mention of Colonel Sloan.
"Daniel, Daniel it´s okay. Sloan should have been more careful, and maybe he did lose it a little, but he wasn´t trying to hurt you. I guess he got kind of obsessed with killing the Minotaur." Jack tried to calm him, pointing at the injured monster lying a few feet away, trying to make him see that Sloan had only been trying to protect him.
Daniel looked. "John! He´s hurt."
Pulling himself away from Jack, he crawled to his injured friend, laying his hands on the massive chest.
"Daniel, what are you doing? Move away from it, now."
"What? No, Jack you don´t understand. This is John. He saved us. We have to help him."
"Saved you? No, that can´t be right. He had Bishop. Hurt him. He would have "
"No, he saved us. Colonel Sloan shot Bishop. In the Labyrinth. We were trying to get away from him when John found us and got us out."
Jack shook his head, trying to make sense of the situation. He looked at Carter, but she was as bewildered as he was. He went back to what they had seen. Daniel running to them, the Minotaur John following behind, carrying an unconscious Bishop. He hadn´t attacked Daniel, and thinking back, his hold on the injured man had been gentle, caring. Could they have so completely misjudged the circumstances?
The thing John looking fearsome, but then, so did Chaka, and Daniel had made friend with *him*. Thor was somewhat creepy too; if you didn´t know what a sweetheart he was underneath. Looks could be deceiving. If travelling the galaxy had taught them anything, it was that single truth. Could Daniel be right in naming Sloan as the real enemy? That made no sense whatsoever. Sloan was a U.S. marine, for crying out loud. What possible reason could he have for trying to kill his own team?
"Daniel, that makes no sense. Why would Sloan shoot Bishop?"
"He didn´t mean to, not at first. He thought he was tracking the Minotaur, and that´s what he thought he was firing at. But there was never anything there. It was us he shot at, and Bishop he hit."
"So it was an accident?"
"That was, yes, but after he found out what he´d done, he went nuts. He wouldn´t help me. Kept babbling about losing everything, and then he took off. Next thing I knew he was trying to kill us. We barely managed to get away from him. And we never would have made it out alive if it wasn´t for John, so please will you help him."
Jack looked at Daniel, at the worry in his eyes. He nodded to Carter, indicating that she should do what she could for the for John.
"His name is John?"
"No, well yes, it is for now. I had to call him something, and he didn´t have a name, so I called him John."
"That´s the best you could come up with? I mean, John?"
"Hey, give me a break, I was tired. He can always change it to something better later."
"How about Homer? Or Bart? Or Toto?"
"See, this is *exactly* why I had to find him a name before you got to him. I knew you´d want to call him something stupid."
"What´s wrong with those names? Those are cool names."
"Doctor Jackson?"
Daniel spun around to see Bishop trying to push himself up, finally managing to sit with Tyler´s help.
"Hey, Chris, how are you doing?"
"Much better. That stuff John put on me is amazing. There´s hardly any pain now and the bleeding has stopped completely."
"That´s great, Chris."
"What about John, Doctor Jackson? Is John gonna be okay?"
"I´m sure he will be. Sam?"
"He was hit once in the lower back. The bullet went straight through but I can´t tell how much damage it did on the way. At least his pulse is strong and steady. All I can do for now is pack the wound."
"But he´ll be okay?"
"With proper care, then yes, I´m sure he´ll be fine, Daniel."
Daniel squeezed the hand he held, patting John´s shoulder comfortingly. "John, you´re going to be fine."
The shaggy head turned toward him, anxious eyes fixed on his face. "I can still go to Earth? You will still take me to your home?"
"Yes, of course, just as soon as Sam patches you up."
"Daniel, what did he say?"
"He´s a little worried about what´s going to happen now. I told him not to be. That we´re all going to be going home soon." Not releasing his hold on John, he fixed Jack with a piercing look. "Did I lie?"
"Daniel, we can´t just take him back with us like a stray dog. We know nothing about him."
"I know all I need to know. He´s good, and kind, and he deserves a chance at a decent life."
"Daniel "
"Besides, we can´t leave him here like this. The Keetans would kill him."
"Daniel, he stole their babies."
"No, it wasn´t him. He tried to help them. Look, Jack, I know what happened, and I´ll explain everything, but not now. Later, back at the SGC."
"Daniel "
"Jack, he saved our lives. Mine and Bishop´s. In the Labyrinth and when Colonel Sloan tried to kill us again just now. He´s only hurt because he put himself in the line of fire to protect us. We can´t leave him behind."
"Daniel, I know you want to think the best of him, but really, how can you know what kind of threat he presents? You´ve only known him a few hours."
"That´s more than enough time for me to be certain that he´s no threat. Jack, please, trust me."
And there it was. Trust Daniel. Of course he trusted Daniel, and if it were just him, he´d do whatever Daniel asked in a heartbeat. But it wasn´t just him. He was in command. He was responsible for the lives of everyone here. He didn´t have the right to let his personal feeling affect his decisions.
For the first time it occurred to Jack that allowing his emotions to rule his decisions was exactly what he was doing. That he had, in fact, been doing so for a long time. He was so afraid of giving Daniel preferential treatment that he had done the opposite. He had allowed his fear to dictate his actions, dismissing Daniel without any consideration of whether or not he was right. And he was doing it again now, in spite of all his good intentions. If anyone else had asked him to do what Daniel had asked, then he would give the request due consideration. He realised that Daniel wasn´t asking him for favours, or for special treatment, but only that Jack look at the circumstances and use his own judgement.
He looked down at Daniel, sad to see the resignation in his eyes. There was a time when he would have had complete confidence that Jack would listen to him, simply because he was so convinced that Jack would know he was right. Those days were gone. Jack´s constant put downs had sown the seeds of doubt, and now Daniel had come to expect rejection.
Jack shifted his gaze, his eyes moving along Daniel´s arm to his caressing fingers, then along the powerful shoulder to the Halloween mask face. He saw that John was looking at him, eyes full of fear and hope and innocence. Jack could see, now, why Daniel was so certain that there was no danger in this man. It was all there, plain to see if you only looked.
"Ferretti, you got restraints?"
"Never leave home without them."
Jack winced as Daniel ducked his head, looking away in disappointment. "Go put them on Colonel Sloan."
Daniel was looking at him again, stunned. Jack held his gaze, smiling at him, trying to tell him that things were going to be different now. That he realised how badly he had been behaving and that he was going to change.
"And Ferretti, once you´re done, take your team back to town and get us a cart." Looking again at John, he turned to Ferretti, calling to him as he ran off toward Colonel Sloan. "Hey Ferretti, make that a really big cart."
Jack rather thought that their arrival back at the SGC had been one of their better entrances. The mayhem that had accompanied their appearance with a very large and very scary guest was perhaps his fault. Jack had warned General Hammond that they were bringing back an injured friend of Daniel´s, but he had neglected to mention that the ‘friend´ in question was the man believed by the Keetans to be the Minotaur. Possibly not the best decision he had ever made.
John´s arrival had caused quite a stir and there had been a few tense moments. Then Janet had arrived, forcing her way through the cordon of armed SF´s to check on the status of her patients before whisking them away to the infirmary.
So now, here they all were. Waiting. His eyes slid to Daniel, not liking what he saw. Daniel was tense and withdrawn, leaning against the wall, arms wrapped around his chest. Jack sidled up to him, clearing his throat and trying to find the perfect conversational gambit.
"So."
The curse of the waiting room struck again as Daniel didn´t even acknowledge his presence. What was it about medical waiting rooms that made all forms of communication taboo? It wasn´t as if they were strangers. They were all friends and colleagues, yet no one had said a word since they had trooped in here on masse in the wake of hurricane Janet. Jack decided to try again.
"So, Daniel."
The look he got was not encouraging, but he forged ahead regardless.
"So, uhm hell of a thing."
"Jack, what are you talking about?"
"Just, you know, hell of a thing, Colonel Sloan losing it like that, and then the Minotaur turning out to be an okay guy."
Yes, he was aware that he sounded like a drivelling idiot. There was no call for Daniel to look at him like that. All he wanted to do was relieve the anxiety that radiated from every atom of Daniel´s being. Now that he had admitted and accepted his feeling for Daniel, he was eager to start making amends, and god knew, he had plenty of them to make. He kept telling himself that Daniel was a forgiving person, so there was at least some hope for him. He opened his mouth to give it one last try just as Janet came through the door.
Daniel led the rush toward her, clenching his fists and bouncing with apprehension. Janet patted him on the arm with a warm smile.
"Don´t worry Daniel; they´re all going to be fine."
"All of them?"
Janet looked at Jack. She had been told that he had been the one to shoot Colonel Sloan, so could understand his concern.
"Yes, all. Colonel Sloan is the most severely injured.
The wound to the left thigh was a through and through, very little damage. The
right is worse. The bullet impacted the patella, shattering it."
"But it can be replaced, right?"
"Yes, Colonel, it can. We have an orthopaedic surgeon flying in as we speak. At the moment, I´m more concerned about his mental health. He appears confused and erratic. We could make little sense of anything he said. He seemed to feel that Daniel was a threat to him, and that his primary mission was to kill him."
"So he really was trying to kill Daniel. Damn, I should have shot him in the head."
"Jack, c´mon, he wasn´t thinking straight."
Jack harrumphed. As far as he was concerned, anyone who wanted to hurt Daniel should die horribly, sick or not. Daniel, of course, didn´t agree.
"Janet, will he recover?"
"We´ll give him the best care we can, Daniel. Doctor Mackenzie is with him now."
"And Bishop and John?"
"Well, I´ll tell you Daniel, I don´t know what your friend John used, but whatever it was, it´s astonishing stuff. If I didn´t know better, I´d swear that Bishop´s bullet wound had been healing for a week already. Nothing much left for me to do but put on a clean dressing. As to John, the position of the gunshot gave us cause for concern, as it would normally have taken out a kidney, but fortunately, his internal organs aren´t where you would expect them to be, so all he lost was a foot or so of his large intestine. He seems to be healing even faster than Corporal Bishop. I may even let him out of bed tomorrow."
Jack slapped Daniel on the back, relieved. "There, see, I knew they were going to be fine."
Daniel turned to him, the beginnings of a smile on his lips, then his eyes rolled up into his head and he dropped like a stone. The suddenness was shocking. Before Jack could begin to react, Janet was in control, shouting orders, getting Daniel wired up and into a bed, Jack trailing powerlessly behind until she shooed him away and drawing the curtains closed.
"Sir, he wasn´t injured, I´m sure he wasn´t."
"I know, Carter."
"I checked him. He was fine."
"I know Carter. I was there."
"But "
"Carter, not now."
Jack moved away from his team, standing alone beside the curtain that separated him from Daniel. Sam started to join him, but Teal´c pulled her back with a silent shake of his head. Reluctantly, she stayed where she was, eyes fixed on Jack, who in turn never took his own gaze away from the curtains.
Eventually, Janet emerged with a tired smile.
"Janet, is he "
"He hasn´t been injured, Colonel. He is, however, exhausted, dehydrated and hypoglycaemic. I don´t suppose anyone thought to give him a power bar, or even a drink of water when they found him, did they?"
Appalled to realize that she was right, Jack just shook his head. God, how could he have been so stupid. He should have realised that Daniel was running on adrenaline, willpower and very little else. Dammit, he had failed him again. "We did nothing for him. Nothing."
"But, why didn´t he say some thing. We could have "
"No, Carter, this is not Daniel´s fault. You know what he´s like. He always puts his own needs last, and besides, knowing Daniel, it probably never even occurred to him that he needed help too."
"I agree. DanielJackson deserves our consideration. He did not receive it. That will not happen again."
"Damn right it won´t. So, Doc, what happens now?"
"I have him on a drip, and "
"There´s no need for that, is there? I can take him out, feed and water him, then make sure he rests. No problem, he´ll be fine with me."
"Colonel, Daniel is exhausted. He needs to sleep, and being pestered by pushy Colonels will do him no good at all."
Deciding to overlook the slur on his character, he was all set to argue for his Daniel caring rights as team leader and best friend, when he realised that she was probably right. Good intentions notwithstanding, it was unlikely he would be able to keep himself from forcing that 'talk' with Daniel. The talk that was fast becoming an obsession.
So he let it go. Settling himself uncomfortably in the chair by Daniel´s bed, he fully intended to stay until Daniel woke, but then Carter started hovering. He wouldn´t have minded if she´d been hovering over Daniel, but she wasn´t. She was hovering over him. Trying to entice him away to the commissary with promises of pie.
"Sir, he´ll be fine. Janet said he´d sleep for hours. Why Don´t we grab a bite to eat, then come back later."
"Not now Carter."
"He won´t even know you aren´t here."
"I´ll know." He knew that she didn´t mean to be uncaring. It never occurred to her that at one time they would all have taken turns sitting with Daniel when he was hurt, conscious or not. They would never have left him to wake up alone and scared. "And you can´t know he won´t wake up. I´m not leaving him alone."
"Well of course not, but he won´t be alone. Teal´c will be here, right Teal´c?"
"I will."
Jack looked at her, exasperated. What was wrong with the woman? Couldn´t she take the hint?
"Look, Carter, I´m glad Teal´c will be here, but that doesn´t mean that I feel happy about leaving. Looking out for Daniel isn´t an obligation. I want to be here with him." Oh god, she was pouting again. He so didn´t need that now.
"But "
"Look, Carter, bottom line, I will not leave Daniel when he is hurt."
"But he isn´t hurt. Not really. He´s
overtired and he missed a few meals. That´s no reason to watch over him
like a mother hen."
Anger flooded through him, white hot and dangerous, so much so that anything
he said to her at that moment would have been unforgivable. Daniel had undergone
a terrifying ordeal. One which had sent an experienced Marine Corps Colonel
insane. He was guaranteed to be traumatised at the very least, and yet here
was Carter, trivialising his experience, acting as though he had come back from
little more than a tiring day shopping at the Mall. He got up and walked out,
leaving her gaping after him.
He stopped only when he reached the elevator, realising that he had nowhere else he wanted to be than with Daniel. He backtracked, but stopped again, ducking into a store cupboard and watching the infirmary through a crack in the door. He shook his head, unable to believe that he was actually doing something so ridiculous. "What the hell am I doing? This is nuts. Damn it, O´Neill, you´re an air force Colonel for crying out loud, not a silly schoolboy. Why are you skulking around in closets? You should just march in there and sit by Daniel´s bedside, Carter be damned. Right now. You wanna go right on in and aah, who the hell am I kidding." Jack kept his vigil until Sam was out of the infirmary and out of sight. Emerging from cover, he straightened up before striding casually into the infirmary, nodding nonchalantly at Teal´c and pulling up a chair. He fooled no one, not even himself.
"You have been foolish, O´Neill."
For a moment, Jack considered pretending that he had no idea what Teal´c might mean, but quickly rejected the idea. He had been foolish, and if he was to get himself out of the mess he had created, he could use an ally. He sighed, dropping his head into his hands.
"I have. Remarkably foolish. I could use some help here, big guy."
"I have heard that honesty is the best policy?"
"Right. Honesty, definitely a good thing. Don´t think it´s going to work here."
"Perhaps not. However, some measure of the truth must be shared with MajorCarter. She must not be allowed to continue under the misapprehension that you crave a deeper relationship with her. It is unfair and divisive."
Jack looked up at Teal´c in amazement. "How long have you known?"
"I have been concerned for some time. Initially, I believed that MajorCarter was, indeed, the object of your devotion. I came to doubt that belief after observing your behaviour toward her. While it was clear that MajorCarter´s feelings for you were strong, you continued to treat her only as a valued friend. You did, on occasion, imply in your actions that you would pursue a romantic association with her were you permitted to do so, and yet it seemed to me that these actions were forced. You displayed an attraction to her only when you remembered to do so, therefore I inferred that your conduct was calculated to distract from your true emotions.
Teal´c paused for a moment, fixing a stern look on Jack. "What these true emotions were became clear to me when I perceived that your attentions were most markedly amorous when DanielJackson was present to witness them. At the same time, you either consciously ignored DanielJackson, or scorned his judgment and his contributions to the team. Since you are not, at heart, a cruel man, I concluded that you were repressing your desires and that the resulting unkindness in your manner was a reaction to your frustration."
Jack gaped at Teal´c, strangled sounds coming out of his open mouth as he tried to get out a coherent sentence. "And you couldn´t have clued me in on this before?"
"You were not ready to accept your feelings, O´Neill."
"I didn´t know my feelings."
"If you did not, then it is because you did not wish to."
"I am so screwed."
"Indeed."
Hands clutched into his hair, Jack groaned. "He´s never going to forgive me."
"He has been very hurt by your desertion."
"Desertion? No, it wasn´t that bad. I didn´t desert him. Not desert."
"Did you not?"
"No, no, not desert. That makes it sound like I tossed him out of my life completely, and left him to oh my god, I did desert him. I´m a bastard. I don´t deserve to be forgiven."
"You do not. Yet I believe that you are more fortunate than you deserve to be."
"Huh? Really? You think so? I mean, is this just a guess, or has Daniel said something?"
"He has said nothing directly. Yet I do not believe that he would be so deeply wounded at losing your regard if he did not hold you in high esteem."
"Esteem, just esteem? Not maybe something more uhm more?"
"More."
"How much more? A lot more or just a little bit more?"
"The most more possible."
"Really? You think he might feel the same for me as I do for him? Maybe as more than a friend? Maybe, possibly? Even after I behaved like a complete ass?"
"I do."
"Well, sweet."
Jack tried telling himself that he wasn´t hiding. Again. He didn´t believe himself. He opened his folder, pretending to read his notSes while all the time keeping a close eye on the corridor. He tried not to think of how ludicrously he was behaving.
At least he had done one thing right. He had stayed by Daniel´s side until he had woken. He winced as he remembered the look of absolute shock on Daniel´s face as he opened his eyes and saw him sitting there. That had hurt. Then, the shock had changed to cautious pleasure. He gave Jack a shy, tentative smile and in that moment, Jack knew that he would give up everything he had always held precious if he could only wake to that smile every morning of his life.
Intending to seize his chance, he reached for Daniel´s hand, but before he could even say 'dinner', Daniel was throwing back the sheets and hunting for his clothes. Jack helped him, finding him a pair of scrubs and a gown, promising to bring him something 'real' to wear later. Daniel thanked him absently, then pulled back the curtain and looked around.
Jack watched with resignation as Daniel first spotted John and then Bishop, carrying the chair Jack had been using over and placing himself between the two beds. Of course, he should have known that Daniel would never leave while people he considered himself responsible for were injured.
Sighing, he went to get the promised clothes, then headed up to the mess where he terrorized the catering staff into producing Daniel´s favourite foods, severely traumatised a young marine by grabbing the last chocolate chip muffin out of his hands with an intimidating glower and a muttered, 'Daniel likes chocolate chip muffins'. If he couldn´t take Daniel out to dinner, then at least he could bring some dinner to Daniel. Daniel had barely noticed when Jack left the tray for him, but it didn´t matter. He ate it with obvious relish, and that was enough for Jack.
And that had been it, until now. Now, they were going to debrief, and afterward he could to get Daniel alone. Finally, they could have that talk, and they could get their relationship back where it belonged.
Jack closed his folder, watching as Sam walked into the briefing room. It was a little thing, really, but he didn´t want to do anything to give Daniel the wrong idea, and he knew that she would automatically come and sit by him. She always did, these days. He didn´t want that. He wanted things how they used to be, with Daniel by his side.
Sure enough, there she was, sitting one seat down on the right, next to his usual place. He smiled at her, and then took the first seat on the left. She looked surprised, but before she could say anything, Teal´c entered, closely followed by Daniel. Daniel, like Sam, seemed puzzled at the seating arrangement, and took a hesitant step toward the empty chair by Sam. He was beaten out by Teal´c who put on an unexpected burst of speed, and how he could move that fast and still look unhurried, Jack would never know. Even more puzzled, Daniel looked suspiciously from Teal´c, to Sam, to Jack, convinced that something was going on, but not sure what it might be.
Jack grinned at him, adding a little wave for good measure. "Hey Daniel. You gonna sit, or were you planning on doing a few circuits first?"
Jack´s smug smirk at the success of his plan did him no favours as Daniel shot him a glare before dropping stiffly into the chair beside him, body language screaming 'I know what you´re up to and I´m not falling for it'.
The door opened again as Janet came in, still deep in conversation with Doctor Mackenzie. The two took their places, Janet next to Daniel and Mackenzie by Sam just as General Hammond came out of his office and sat at the head of the table.
"Okay people, let´s get started. The Pentagon still wants that naquada so I need to know if a treaty is still viable. Doctor Jackson?"
"I don´t see why not. After all, they wanted us to get rid of their 'Minotaur', and we have since he´s down in our infirmary."
"But what about the missing babies, Daniel? You said you would explain that. If it wasn´t your John who took them, who was it? The Goa'uld?"
"What Goa´uld? As far as I know, there was no Goa´uld."
Sam shook her head. "Daniel, there must have been at some time. The rings "
"Sam, the Goa´uld didn´t invent the rings."
"The Ancients?"
"I don´t know, Jack. I think it´s likely they transported the people there, so it´s probable the Labyrinth was theirs too, although I have no idea what its intended use was."
Jack frowned, trying to get used to this new state of affairs. He had been working on the assumption that for John to be innocent, someone else had to be guilty, his most likely candidate the suspected Goa´uld. But now Daniel told him there was no Goa´uld, so who was left to have killed those children? "Daniel "
Daniel looked at him sadly. "I know, the babies. It wasn´t anyone, Jack. I´m reasonably sure that the parents themselves sent them into the Labyrinth. And since there aren´t an unlimited number of control devices, someone in authority must have helped them."
There was a stunned silence as those around the table struggled to take in what he had said. Janet, both a mother and a doctor, seemed the most appalled by his words.
She turned a sickened face to him. "But Daniel, how can that be? How could any mother do that to her child?"
"I know it sounds awful, Janet, but it does have precedent. We believe that the Keetans are descended from the Greeks. We also know that in Ancient Greece babies that were unwanted for any reason, either because the parents were unable to care for them when times were hard, or because they were sickly perhaps, that those babies would be exposed on the hillside and left to die."
Daniel looked up at the shocked gasps before continuing. "Now, I´m guessing that as the civilisation developed, it was no longer acceptable to openly kill your own child, and yet there must still have been unwanted children. The Keetans are a proud people, and appearance matters to them. A lot. Yet, their society is also becoming increasingly inbred. I would expect, with such a limited gene pool, to find a high number of congenital defects, right?"
Daniel looked enquiringly at Janet, who nodded her agreement.
"We found the bodies in the ring room. Almost all of them were deformed in some way. I´m sorry, Janet, but that´s why I´m almost certain that there must be a doctor involved."
Janet looked shocked. "Why? How could someone who devoted their life to being a healer do so much harm to a child?"
"You have to remember, their priorities aren´t the same as ours. As yours. Keeping the bloodlines pure would be as important to them as the welfare of a single child. Probably more so. Parents who had given birth to a defective baby would be vulnerable, and a doctor would be on hand to exploit that vulnerability. I don´t think it would be hard to persuade them that it would be in the best interests of all concerned if the child were simply to disappear. Maybe they were even made to believe that it would be better for the child not to have to live a life where he would be regarded as a freak.
Daniel paused for a moment, keeping his sad gaze fixed on his hands, not able to cope with the emotions he knew would be reflected in the faces around him. "I think the fact that they wouldn´t be held accountable for their actions would be a contributing factor. When the baby turned up missing, the Minotaur would be blamed, and the parents would be freed from the stigma of having produced imperfect offspring."
"A scapegoat."
Daniel nodded at Jack. "Yes, exactly. I don´t know if the parents themselves would have sent the child into the Labyrinth, or if someone did it for them, but the end result would be the same. The babies died where they lay, of starvation and neglect. Until John."
"I don´t understand. Why would he be any different, and how do you know all this? Did he tell you?"
"No, Jack, he didn´t. At least, not in words. He kept a sort of journal. He was probably too young to know how to write, but he could draw. The walls of the cave he lived in were covered in the images of his life. I think it was one of the saddest and bravest things I´ve ever seen."
"I can imagine."
"I doubt that very much, Jack. As to why it was different for him, I think it was because his abnormalities didn´t manifest from birth. That´s possible, isn´t it, Janet?"
"Yes, I believe so. He would almost certainly have been a larger than average baby, but the abnormal skeletal development might not have been evident for several years. I would guess he would be seven or eight years old before it became obvious."
"And that´s when they sent him through the rings, to materialize in the middle of a pile of dead and decaying corpses."
Jack looked sick. "You were right, Daniel. I can´t imagine. I don´t think any of us can. What he must have gone through, I can´t believe he survived for so many years."
"Not that many Colonel. I would put his age somewhere between twenty-two and twenty-eight."
"That´s all? You´d never guess from looking at him."
"Jack, you couldn´t guess anything about him from looking at him."
Jack gave a small laugh. "I guess you can´t at that, Daniel. So, John managed to beat the odds and survive until you showed up and rescued him."
"I´d say it was the other way around. We were lost, completely and hopelessly. Our supplies were gone, we were exhausted, Bishop was injured, and I didn´t have the strength to carry him another foot. If John hadn´t found us when he did, we would have died, or Colonel Sloan would have found us and killed us. He got us out of the Labyrinth, and was willing to lead us to the town in spite of the danger that could put him in. He is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and surviving the horror of what was done to him is the least of it."
"Daniel, why would he go into the Labyrinth if he didn´t have to? Is there something there of value, maybe something we could use?"
Daniel looked up at Sam, disappointed at her priorities, but not really surprised. Increasingly, Sam seemed to be overlooking the human element in any situation in favour of the technological possibilities. Then again, maybe she had always been that way but because they worked as a team, her bias wasn´t given free reign.
"I don´t think there´s anything there we could use, Sam. As to why he went back in there, I think it was loneliness, pure and simple. He had everything he needed to live in his valley, except companionship. I think the first time he went back into the Labyrinth it was to check out the ring room. After all, that was the only contact he had with his home. I think that when he went there, he found an either dead or dying baby. I think after that he must have gone back every day, just in case. I know from the paintings that he tried to care for the children who were sent through, but none of them survived."
Janet sighed. "If they had been born with serious birth defects, then it´s likely that without medical intervention they would have died anyway, no matter how carefully he cared for them, but at least they didn´t die as agonizingly as the others."
"Doctor Jackson, did John tell you how he knew the way to the town?"
"No, Sir. I imagine he had plenty of time to explore. Years of time. Then, when he found a way through the caves, it would be natural for him to head home. I know he was young when he was exiled, but that doesn´t mean he couldn´t remember the place he had once been happy. I´m sure he spent years dreaming about it, and maybe he thought that if he went back he could regain that early happiness. Instead, all he got was running and screaming and blind terror."
"So he stayed away?"
"I don´t think so, Jack. He doesn´t say much, but the fact that he even knows how to speak would indicate contact. I think once he knew where to find other people he went back again and again, the only difference being that he no longer tried to communicate. He stayed hidden, watching from a distance, pretending that he belonged."
"You know, I really don´t like the Keetans. General, do we really want allies who torture their own children?"
"I appreciate your concerns, Colonel, but I´m not sure that the Pentagon will."
"Besides, Jack, now that we know what´s happening, maybe we can change it. They need to be educated, shown that discarding their unwanted children isn´t the only way. And for all we know, the majority of the population may have no idea what´s been happening all these years. Most of them really do believe the stories about the Minotaur. What we need to find is the person who´s advising the parents. If we get him, then we can stop this."
"Daniel´s right. We can work with the Keetans, give them medical options. I refuse to believe that any parent would willingly subject their own child to such torment."
"That would certainly be an option, Doctor Fraiser. Could anything be done to reduce the possibility of congenital birth defects?"
"I can´t be sure without further study, but it is a possibility, General."
"Very well, then. I´ll authorize a team to return to the planet, including a medical team."
"General, I´d like to be included in that team. I "
"No, Daniel, I´m sorry. I´m putting you on at least a week of mandatory downtime. We can re-asses after that."
"Why? Janet, I´m fine."
"Daniel, you collapsed. That´s not fine."
"But I´m fine now. All I needed was a little rest."
Janet sighed, hating what she had to do, but knowing it was necessary. "Daniel, how long before the mission did you last eat?"
"What? I don´t know. Breakfast, I guess."
"Other than coffee."
"Oh, well, I must have eaten the night before."
"You don´t remember?"
"I was busy. There was a lot to get ready and not much time."
"I´m assuming that means that you didn´t sleep either."
"I was busy."
"I´ll take that as a no then."
Jack looked at Daniel, who was scowling into his coffee, wondering where this was going. "Janet, what is this? I thought that Daniel´s exhaustion was because of the Labyrinth. Are you saying it´s something more?"
"The stress of his ordeal brought things to a head, but the hypoglycaemia was caused by more than a few missed meals. His blood sugar must already have been low when he left for the mission. Working through the night on nothing but coffee is not healthy."
"I didn´t do it on purpose."
"Daniel, I wasn´t suggesting that you were wilfully disregarding your health, but it´s happening all the same. Maybe you should set an alarm to remind you to eat and sleep, because this level of neglect can´t go on."
Jack fists clenched against his thighs. Neglect. But hadn´t Daniel always been that way? How many times had Jack dragged Daniel away from his books, insisting that he eat? And when was the last time he had done that? And that was the difference. Jack was the one at fault here, not Daniel. He had abandoned Daniel. Neglect. God. No more. "There won´t be any need for an alarm. I´ll see to it that he eats and sleeps regularly."
"As will I."
Daniel looked up in surprise, both annoyance and gratitude in evidence. His expression settled into embarrassment as he dropped his eyes, fiddling with his pens. "Look, Jack, Teal´c, I appreciate the concern but there´s no need for anyone to check up on me. I´ll be fine."
"Sure you will, Daniel. Teal´c and I will make sure of it. Ah, ah, ah. No argument."
Jack´s wagging finger stopped Daniel mid protest. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, sulking yet oddly content.
General Hammond took note of his posture, suppressing a smile. Hearing Jack declare his intention of protecting Daniel from himself had both pleased and relieved him. The problems in SG-1 had been apparent for some time, largely caused by Jack´s attitude toward Daniel. He could only hope that that was about to change. "Okay then, moving on. Doctor Fraiser, how are our patients."
"Both Corporal Bishop and John are healing nicely. In fact, much faster than I would have expected. As I explained in my initial report, I put that down to that salve of John´s. The blood work for both men shows the presence of a plant enzyme unlike anything I´ve seen before. It has antibacterial properties, and from what I can tell, actually assists in the formation of new, healthy cells. While we can attribute it´s presence in Corporal Bishop´s blood to the gel used, with John we have to assume that it was already present, which would lead us to assume that the leaves are also a food source."
"That would make sense, Janet. The plant the leaves came from grew all over the place."
"Could we get some for study?"
"I don´t know. I doubt I could remember the way back, through either the caves or the Labyrinth. Maybe with John´s help we could make a map, but I wouldn´t want him going back there. I don´t think he´d be safe."
"I wouldn´t ask him to, Daniel. If we can get a sample, that would be wonderful, but John´s well-being comes first."
Daniel reached out to clasp Janet´s hand briefly. "Actually, if we can get back there then I think the botanists and geologists would be interested as well as the medical teams. Doctor Lee has been asking me about the unusual rock formations. He seems to think that we were in the crater of an extinct volcano."
"You were in a volcano?"
"An extinct one, Jack. You´ll have to ask Doctor Lee for the details, but his theory is that the extreme heat from repeated eruptions could have caused the glassification of the surrounding rocks, and at the same time the volcanic dust and ash would seep into the soil making it very fertile."
"Okay then, Doctor Jackson, your on map making detail. We can include anything found in this crater in the treaty with the Keetans."
"Yes, Sir. I´ll do what I can. It´s possible John can draw a map himself. Some of his cave paintings were highly complex, so he clearly has a talent for observation."
"Excellent. Now then, what about Colonel Sloan?"
"The damaged patella has been replaced. He´ll need some intensive therapy but I see no reason why he shouldn´t make a full recovery. Physically. Doctor Mackenzie had better brief you regarding his mental state."
Janet nodded across the table to her colleague as all eyes turned to him.
Mackenzie cleared his throat, shuffling his notes together. "Colonel Sloan is exhibiting acute paranoia, combined with extreme obsessive behaviour. He seems fixated on the need, not only to kill, but to eliminate any trace of both Doctor Jackson and Corporal Bishop."
"So he´s nuts, right?"
"He has suffered a complete mental breakdown, yes Colonel O´Neill, but I´m not sure that 'nuts' properly describes "
"Yadda, yadda, yadda. Nuts works for me. Which, considering the way he was acting on the planet, is not exactly news. What I want to know is why."
"That is a complex question, Colonel. I´ll try to answer it, but at this stage, any conclusions will be little more than conjecture."
"Conject away, Doc."
"Right. From what Doctor Jackson has told me of the Labyrinth it was a place without light, relentlessly cold and completely lacking a sense of time and space. There were no constants; nothing was 'normal'; nothing was predictable. In a sense, the labyrinth acted as one big isolation tank, forcing the individual to create their own sensory factors."
"Did anyone get that?"
Kicking Jack under the table, Daniel shot him an annoyed look. "Yes, Jack, we did, and I think it makes a lot of sense. What I don´t understand though, is why Colonel Sloan reacted so differently to me and Corporal Bishop."
"An environment such as the Labyrinth projects the personality back on oneself. Colonel Sloan´s character varies greatly from yours. Therefore, your reactions to the situation in which you found yourself would also vary greatly. Colonel Sloan is a soldier; a man of action; a hunter, if you will. A hunter who crossed the line into the territory of outright aggression. Add to that the paranoia and auditory hallucinations brought on by sleep deprivation, and you have a very dangerous man."
"But why us? Why did he see us as the threat?"
"At first, he didn´t. He saw you as a responsibility. But then gradually, as he failed to achieve his objectives, he became increasingly frustrated. You became an outlet for that frustration. Each time you disagreed, or voiced a differing opinion to his assessment, you became the cause that thwarted his aspirations. Your suggestion that you should turn back would have enraged him. He would have seen that as a betrayal, an admission of failure, which only served to increase his sense of inadequacy.
The accidental shooting of Corporal Bishop was the pivotal point in his madness. Until then, his mania focused on fulfilling his mission, namely finding and killing the Minotaur. After that incident, his objectives became confused. His need to kill his target combined with the knowledge that what he had done could negate any success he ever had, or ever could, achieve. His sense of self was lost; he was disoriented. The Labyrinth and everything inside became an extension of his ego, and you in particular, and Corporal Bishop to a lesser extent became the demons responsible for his failure."
Jack leaned forward, one point in particular having caught his attention. "That bit about the Labyrinth projecting back the personality, are you saying that Daniel stayed sane because he is stronger than Sloan?"
"I don´t know about stronger. I would say he certainly has greater resources. His personality is more flexible, more accepting. He was able to adapt to the circumstances, whereas Colonel Sloan´s more rigid outlook allowed for no compromise."
"But it wasn´t just me. There was Bishop too. Maybe it was because we were together that we could overcome the trials. Colonel Sloan was alone in there."
"Colonel Sloan was alone because he chose to be alone. Corporal Bishop was fortunate in his decision to align himself with you rather than the Colonel. His belief in your ability to save both yourself and him is the reason for his survival. It is possible that your need to save him from harm aided you in your own fight against dire conditions. However, the deciding factor was your determination and resolve."
Daniel, surprised by the unexpected praise, dropped his eyes self-consciously, but Jack was unwilling to let it pass. He turned an accusing eye on Mackenzie. "That´s not what you thought before. Then, you were of the opinion that Daniel was the most likely to crack under the stress of gate travel."
Mackenzie steepled his fingers nodding in acknowledgement. "Yes, yes I did and that was possibly the biggest miscalculation of my life, and I can only apologise to Doctor Jackson for my lack of insight."
Looking directly at Daniel, he continued. "Doctor Jackson, I know that this comes late, but I assure you, it is sincere. I have dedicated my life to the military. My experience is primarily in dealing with the stress and trauma caused in battle. I see now that I allowed my prejudice to dictate my conclusions. My bias against a civilian thrown into a combat situation led me to expect a certain outcome, and when the symptoms seemed to indicate that conclusion, I refused to look beyond my own pre-conceived diagnosis. I was wrong, but I will not make such a fundamental error again. It is now clear to me that you, Doctor Jackson, possess an integrity and sense of honour that enables you to prevail under circumstances that would crush a lesser man. I hope that you can forgive me for any pain I caused you."
In the silence that followed Mackenzie's apology, Jack checked out the reactions around the table, wanting to know if anyone else was as taken aback as he was. Janet was beaming. General Hammond too was obviously happy, though his pleased smile was more restrained. Teal´c had that smug look again, as if something he had always known was now proven. Carter, he couldn´t quite decide about Carter. She seemed to be both amazed and annoyed, but that couldn't be right, why would she be annoyed? Carter knew as well as any of them what a truly astounding man Daniel was, surely, she would be happy to have that acknowledged. She must just be shocked at the normally stoic Mackenzie coming out with such, for him, gushing praise. Yes, that must be it.
Finally, Jack looked at Daniel. Wow, talk about shocked. Who knew a person´s jaw could drop that far without dislocating. Jack gave him a little nudge, and then stepped hard on his foot when the nudge got no reaction. "Yo, Daniel, close your mouth, buddy. You look like a guppy fish."
Daniel snapped his mouth shut, shooting Jack a look that promised severe retribution to follow. The look promptly turned to embarrassment as he realised that he was now the centre of attention. Clearing his throat, he turned to Mackenzie, his expression softening. "Doctor, I don´t know what to say. I wasn´t expecting I mean, there´s nothing for you to apologise for. I understand that you were only doing what you though was right. I know that you never intended causing me harm."
"Nevertheless, that is precisely what I did."
"Yes, you did. I won´t deny that your attitude and your expectations of me were upsetting. It´s good to know that you no longer expect me to fall apart at the first crisis. I appreciate you making that clear to me. Look, what say we forget anything that´s passed, and start again? Clean slate."
"I´d like that, Doctor Jackson."
"Well that´s just fine. Now, if there´s nothing else? Okay then, dismissed people. I´ll need everyone´s reports on my table by tomorrow with recommendations on how to proceed with the Keetan treaty."
The General rose, indicating that the meeting was over, the others beginning to filter out. Jack hung back, watching Daniel as he listened earnestly to Mackenzie. Jack couldn´t imagine what the man could be saying to put that solemn expression on Daniel´s face. More apologies maybe. Whatever it was, it looked like Jack had missed his chance at catching Daniel alone again. Instead, he was the one caught.
"Sir?"
"Carter, something I can do for you?"
"I was wondering what you planned on doing with your downtime, Sir."
"Downtime?"
"Well, since Daniel won´t be fit for duty for awhile, I assumed that we would be off too. Unless you were thinking of a replacement for him."
"Replace Daniel? Not possible. Besides, I figure Daniel needs us here."
"Needs us for what?"
"Carter, did you miss the ‘neglect´ part?"
Annoyed, Sam snapped back. "Of course not. Daniel has been stupid and made himself ill. I´m sure Janet will make sure he takes better care of himself. I don´t see what any of that has to do with us."
"Jack stared at her, appalled by what he was hearing. "Carter, when did you stop caring about Daniel?"
She looked shocked at that. "What do you mean? I care about Daniel, of course I care."
"It sure as hell doesn´t sound like it."
"Why, because I don´t fall down and weep every time he gets a paper cut like everyone else?"
"Carter, where is this coming from? You never used to be like this. You know what Daniel´s like. What he´s always been like. He needs reminding to look after himself, and it wasn´t that long ago that you were first in line to with the coffee and cookies. What happened to change that?"
"Maybe I got tired of Daniel always being indulged. Always being the one who found the answers. I got it right as often as him, but you never even noticed. It was always Daniel. All Daniel does is come up with some crazy, impossible idea. I´m the one who has to make it work, yet he´s mister wonderful, and I'm just doing my job. I thought you´d finally seen how unfair that was to me, and that was why you stopped making such a fuss over him. Finally, you started to listen to me, and not him."
Jack just stared. He knew things were bad, but this god. "Carter "
"Sir, I´m not saying that Daniel´s not important to the SGC, to the team. Of course he is, but things have changed now. We´re in the middle of a fight for survival, and he refuses to see that. He wants to keep his conscience nice and clean, to stick to his principles no matter what it costs us. And that´s fine, except that he tries to force the rest of us to follow his values too. Sir, I understand why you´ve lost patience with him. He´s insubordinate; he goes off on his own little crusade without even "
"*Carter*." Jack grabbed hold of Sam´s arm, gripping tight, needing to stop her tirade. "Daniel does exactly what he´s supposed to do when we´re on a mission. He gives me options. He doesn't go off on his own, not without good reason. And yes, he disagrees with me, and when he does, I should listen, because he´s the only one who can disagree with me. You´re my subordinate, so you have to follow orders, and Teal´c, well, he´s the best backup a man could have, but he spent a lot of years as the First Prime of Apophis, and unquestioning obedience is in his blood. I rely on Daniel to keep me one of the good guys. He´s my conscience, and I need that. I didn´t know how much until I was in danger of losing it."
"But Sir "
"No, Carter, you need to hear this. You´re right, I have changed the way I treat Daniel, and I sincerely regret the distance I´ve allowed to grow between us. That´s going to change, as of now if I have anything to say about it."
"But Sir, what about us?"
"There is no us Carter. Not the way you mean. I respect and admire you, but as a colleague. Nothing more."
"No, that´s not there´s more, you know there is. You said "
"I never said one thing that was inappropriate."
"Not in words, but it was implicit. I saw the way you looked at me. You always turned to me first, put me first. It was obvious that only the regs were keeping you from declaring yourself to me. I knew if I only waited, then when you retired we could be together. It was understood."
"Not by me." Jack sighed, knowing that she was right. He had looked. And he had favoured her, but not for love as she believed. No, fear and guilt had tainted his every decision for way too long. "This is my fault. I let you believe that there was more between us than there could ever be, and I´m more sorry for that than I can ever say. We have no future together, Carter, and not because of the regs. I don´t love you."
"But you do. You must. You said so, when you were being tested by the zatarc machine. You couldn´t have lied, or it would have known."
"No, I didn´t lie. I said then that I cared for you more than I should, and that´s the truth. I care more than I should for someone under my command, but that´s not love. I think, for a time, I convinced myself that it was because I wanted it to be."
"So you do want me."
"No. I want to want you. You´re a beautiful, intelligent woman. Knowing that you could have feelings for me gave me a buzz, and yeah, I fantasized about this great life we could have. But it wasn´t real. It never could be real."
"It could be. It could be real. We could make it work."
"Carter, we can´t even call each other by our first names."
"How is that significant? I could call you Jack. It´s just a name."
"No, it´s more than that. I don´t just call you Carter, that´s who you are to me. My 2IC. A subordinate officer. And that´s what you´ll always be."
"No."
"Yes. Don´t you see how much of yourself you would lose if you became involved with me? I´m not just talking about your career, I´m talking about who you are. I don´t think you could help deferring to me in any private life we had just as you do in the professional. We could never be equals, Carter, and that´s no basis for a relationship. And seriously, doesn´t the fact that we´re even talking like this freak you out? I mean, here we are, acting out a scene from a soap opera while standing outside the briefing room of a top secret military facility. Does that not seem weird to you?"
"Well, obviously it would be better if we talked somewhere else, but "
"But that´s just it. We never are anywhere else. What´s more, I can´t even imagine being with you outside of work. What would we talk about? We don´t get each other. We never have. Bottom line, Carter, I don´t love you. I´m sorry, but that´s the truth."
Sam pulled away, shaking her head in disbelief. "So all this time, you were playing? None of it was real?"
"I´m "
"Don´t. Just don´t. I don´t want to hear how sorry you are again. I thought but it was all a lie. I can´t I need to get away for a while. To think."
"Okay, if that´s what you want. I can clear any leave time you need with the General. Whatever you decide, you have my support."
"Do I? Tell me, Sir, is staying on SG-1 one of my options?"
"I hope so. You´re the best 2IC I´ve ever had, and I would hate to lose you. It´s up to you to decide whether or not you can work effectively with me and Daniel."
"Daniel? I have no problem with Daniel."
"That´s not how it sounded earlier. Carter, the kind of resentment you displayed, I can´t have that on the team."
"Me? I´m not the one who´s been treating him like shit to be scraped off my shoe for months."
Jack winced. "That´s going to change as of now. Daniel deserves respect, and he´s going to get it. From me and from you if you want to stay on the team."
"I see. So, once again, Daniel comes first."
"Carter "
"No more, Sir. I really don´t think I could take it right now. I´ll have my request for leave on your desk within the hour."
Jack watched sadly as she turned and left, hoping that they could some day get back the rapport they had once shared, but doubting, after this, that it could ever be possible.
Jack leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes for a moment. So much had changed so fast. Facing up to his feelings was a lot harder than he could have imagined. Thank god he wasn´t a ´new man´, or he´d have to do it all the time. He´d never survive. Opening his eyes, he saw Daniel walking away from him. Swearing under his breath he ran after him, thinking that it was just like Daniel to get past him for the nanosecond he was distracted.
"Hey, Daniel, wait up."
Daniel turned back as he got to the elevator, the doors opening behind him. He stepped in, giving Jack a dismissive wave. "Later, Jack. Busy now."
Determined not to let this chance go, Jack made a dive for the closing doors, squeezing himself inside just in time. Laughing nervously, he looked at Daniel, the chuckle freezing in his chest at the forbidding expression he saw there.
"So, Daniel."
"Jack."
"Daniel."
"Jack, did you want something?"
"Uhm, yeah, I was thinking we could go grab some dinner."
"Look, you don´t have to take what Janet said so much to heart. I´m fine. I don't need a babysitter."
"I didn´t mean it like that. I wanted to spend some time with you, that´s all. Maybe talk about stuff."
"Since when?"
"What?"
"Jack, do you have any idea how long it´s been since we just talked? Not for work, or because you want something, but just for the hell of it. Go ahead, guess."
Jack was shocked by the hostility he was hearing, scared that he had left it to late to put right all the mistakes he had made. "I don´t know Daniel. I know things have been off between us, but I want that to change. We could start now. I still owe you that pizza."
Daniel snorted. "You owe me a lot more than one lousy pizza."
"I´m sure I do. So why not let me start by feeding you."
"Daniel looked at him coldly. "Not right now, Jack. I´m busy."
Jack was getting desperate. He wanted to get off on a new foot, but not this foot. This was the wrong foot. This foot looked set to kick him in the ass. He needed to find a new foot, and fast because, dammit, Daniel was leaving.
"Daniel, wait." Finally noticing something other than Daniel, Jack realised where they were. "Why are we going to the infirmary?"
"I don´t know why you´re here, but I´m going to check on John."
"What, again? You´ve barely left his side since we got back. I´m sure he´ll be fine without you for a few hours."
"Fine? You think he´ll be fine Jack? He´s hurt, he´s alone, he´s on an alien planet and surrounded by people who don´t even speak the same language as him, when up until a couple of days ago he had spent his entire life in isolation. This has got to be a huge shock to him, so anything I can do to make it easier to deal with, I will do."
"I´m not saying you shouldn´t help him, only that you give yourself a little time too. You need to deal with what happened in that Labyrinth, what happened to Colonel Sloan. He tried to kill you, Daniel. I just don´t buy that that hasn´t freaked you out."
"I´m fine."
"I don´t think you are, and I know I´m not. Almost losing you again, it´s made me realize some things. Things I need to talk to you about, Daniel. Please."
Confused, Daniel hesitated outside the infirmary. He had never heard Jack sound so vulnerable. Perhaps John would be alright while he and Jack had dinner. But then what? This was all about guilt. Jack was like that. They had argued before Daniel left, and then Daniel had disappeared. So Jack felt guilty, and he needed to get it off his chest. It wasn´t that he cared, not about Daniel. He wanted to clear his conscience, that was all, and once he had, he would put Daniel out of his mind again. He would get on with his life and Daniel would be alone again, and more lonely than ever. Well, not again. Jack could deal with this himself, without Daniel´s absolution. John needed him. John would never hurt him.
"I´m sorry, Jack, but it will have to wait. John needs me, and right now, he has to be more important than you."
Jack punched at the wall, frustrated and angry. "All I asked for was a few moments of you´re time, Daniel. That´s not so much is it? Seems to me that with you, everything is more important than I am. What the hell is your problem?"
"Nothing is more important that you, that´s my problem."
Jack gaped at Daniel, taking in the stunned look of fear in his eyes. Obviously, he had never intended to say what he had, but it was said all the same. Jack could barely contain the joy that bubbled up in his chest. Daniel cared about him. More than anything else. Oh yeah. This was a much more promising foot.
Daniel still seemed bewildered, dazed by what he had inadvertently let slip. Jack reached for him, grasping his shoulders.
"Daniel "
The deafening sound of breaking glass, followed by yelling and screaming exploded from the infirmary. Daniel swung round, running in, Jack close on his heels.
They saw Janet, banging on the bathroom door. Two SF´s were with her, both of them loudly demanding entrance, but nothing they did stopped the howls of anguish that shook the walls.
"Janet, what is it, is that John? What´s happened?"
Daniel pushed his way through to Janet, grabbing her shoulder. "Janet?"
"Daniel, thank god you´re here. I don´t know what´s wrong with him. He was so much better today that we let him out of bed for a shower. And now this. I'm worried he´s having some kind of fit. We need to get in there."
Daniel pushed against the door but it didn´t give an inch. "I thought these doors didn´t lock."
"They don´t. It´s blocked, I think by John either falling or lying against it. Talk to him, Daniel. Try to get him to move."
Daniel knocked, dropping easily into John´s native tongue. "John, it´s Daniel. Are you hurt? Please, let us in, John. You need to move away from the door. John, please, let us help you. Tell me what´s wrong."
They heard shuffling from behind the closed door as the howling subsided into heartbreaking sobs. Daniel tried the door again, relieved when it opened. Jack started forward but Daniel stopped him with a hand to his chest. "Jack, let me."
"Daniel, we don´t know what´s happened. He could be dangerous."
"He´s not. He´s hurt. Please, let me deal with this."
Reluctantly, Jack nodded, moving aside to let Daniel enter.
The bathroom was a wreck, water gushing from where the sink had once stood, the sink itself torn from the wall and tossed aside. Shattered glass covered the floor. John was sitting against the wall by the door, arms wrapped around his legs pulling them up to his chest. He had laid his head against his knees and was sobbing the same, single word, over and over.
"Oh god, John." Daniel crouched beside him, gently stroking his bowed head.
Janet stepped over the debris, now even more concerned for her patient´s well-being. "Daniel, what is he saying?"
"Monster. He´s saying monster. That´s what the townspeople called him. Monster." Daniel picked up one of the broken shards of mirror, looking at it with a twist of pain. "And now, for the first time, he´s seen why."
"Oh no. I never thought."
"No, none of us did." Daniel looked up at Jack. "Now do you understand why I have to be here?"
"Yes. He needs you. He needs a friend. And Daniel, don´t try to blame yourself for this. This had to happen eventually, unless you planned on breaking every mirror in the universe. I know it probably doesn't seem like it now, but it´s good it happened here, where he´s surrounded by people who care about him. Where he has you to help him."
Relieved, Jack saw the tension ease from Daniel´s face. It looked like his private moment with Daniel would have to wait. He knew, from experience, that Daniel would do everything in his power to help John, no matter how much it exhausted him. That´s what made him Daniel, and Jack would never want to change him. There was one thing he could do though. He could spend time with John, keep him company, and make sure he was properly looked after. He could give Daniel the time he needed to look after himself. That much of his burden, at least, he could lift from Daniel´s shoulders.
Daniel stacked the books he had prepared for John, amazed by the progress the man had made in his studies. He already spoke, read, wrote and understood enough English to communicate, devouring the books and magazines that Daniel brought him. He would keep a list of new words for Daniel to translate for him, the list getting shorter as time went by.
It still surprised Daniel how big a part Jack had played in John‘s rehabilitation. Both Sam and Teal´c had gone to visit family, and Daniel had expected Jack to follow suit, heading off to his cabin and the pond with no fish at the earliest opportunity, but he hadn´t. Instead, he had spent every day at the mountain, each day bringing something new to interest John. One day it was a pair of remote controlled cars, which the two happily raced around the SGC hallways. Another day, Daniel had found them in Jack´s office, engrossed in games of pacman and solitaire.
The best day by far, though, had been the day that Jack arrived with an enormous art pad and so many different types of paints, coloured pencils, pens and even crayons that Daniel assumed he must have simply bought one of everything he could find at the art shop. John unpacked each bag in awe, rubbing his fingers over the soft, textured paper, making small, incredulous sounds at the array of vivid colours in front of him.
He started to draw, hesitant at first, but then becoming increasingly confident. Page after page, he drew out his fears and his pain as he had on the walls of his cave, and in doing so, his demons lost their hold on him. His pictures were happier now, full of his new friends, and new knowledge.
It had been a bittersweet time for Daniel. Jack´s dismissal of him, his thoughtlessness and cruelty, had made it easier for Daniel to convince himself that he was better off without Jack. That he had been mistaken in his high opinion of Jack. That he didn´t miss Jack´s friendship. Now, in his kindness to John, Daniel could see the Jack who had befriended him when he was alone and afraid. He could see the Jack he had fallen in love with. He could see what he had lost.
He couldn´t begrudge John the special attention. He deserved it, and he needed it. Daniel´s reaction to that attention was his own problem, and one that would have to be dealt with soon. Ever since his slip up outside the infirmary, when he had all but admitted his feelings for Jack, he had been on edge. Jack kept sneaking him strange glances, looking away quickly when he saw Daniel looking back. Daniel couldn´t quite work them out, somewhere between trepidation and anticipation. Very unsettling. Daniel could only think that he was worried about Daniel´s interest in him and was calculating how best to deal with it.
Then there was the threatened 'talk' still in the offing. Daniel had been able to put that off while he dealt with the problems surrounding John, but that situation could not continue indefinitely. Eventually he was going to have to make a decision about his future, and he just didn´t know what to do. He knew that things could not stay as they had been. Those conditions had been bad for him, and bad from the team.
Perhaps he was tormenting himself needlessly. It was entirely possible he no longer had the choice. There was a good chance that Jack would not allow him to remain on the team now that his feelings had been revealed. Perhaps that was one of the things Jack wanted to talk about. Or maybe he simply believed that in light of Daniel´s revelation, it was time he was told about Jack´s involvement with Sam.
Sighing, Daniel paused outside the door to the guest suite. John had been moved here when he no longer needed to be kept in the infirmary, but Daniel was painfully aware that his stay could only be temporary. Where he could go next was a dilemma that weighed heavily on Daniel´s mind.
Pushing open the door, he saw John, sitting cross-legged in front of an enormous television, nose practically pressed against the glass while Jack lounged back on the bed, watching him indulgently.
Seeing the black and white picture, Daniel at first assumed that they were watching some old favourite of Jack´s, but then gasped in surprise as he recognised what he was seeing. He turned wide eyes to Jack, who instantly pushed up from the bed to come to his side.
"Jack, 'The Elephant Man'?"
"Yeah, I figured maybe if he saw that he wouldn´t feel so dumb idea, huh?"
"It´s exactly right. Just like everything else you´ve brought for him."
"Really? I got it right?"
"Jack, look at him."
Jack did, taking in the tears streaming down John´s cheeks, fists clenched against his thighs, his whole body tense with concentration. "Yeah, I guess he is kinda gripped. Cool. I brought the Marx Brothers too."
"What was he supposed to learn from them?"
"Learn? I uh they´re the *Marx* Brothers. What´s to learn? Some things you just have to enjoy."
Daniel laughed. "Good point. I think John could use some enjoyment in his life."
"Couldn´t we all."
"I just wish " Daniel stopped, looking sadly at John.
"Daniel, what is it? Has something happened?"
"No, nothing´s happened."
"But?"
"John. I´ve been informed that now that he´s given us everything we need from him, it´s time to move him on."
"Daniel, that´s not fair. You always knew that he couldn´t stay at the SGC indefinitely."
"I know."
"And you know the General will watch out for him. They won´t just throw him out without finding a suitable place for him to go."
"That depends on your definition of suitable. Janet thinks he should go to some sort of group home for the disabled."
"And you don´t agree."
"Jack, he isn´t disabled, just different."
"But that difference could get him hurt if he´s not in a safe environment. At least in a home he would be cared for. And he wouldn´t be alone anymore."
"I know, but look, it´s probably just me. I was brought up in institutions, and I didn´t want that for John. I want him to be somewhere he can be happy. Where he can fulfil his potential. He has so much to give, and I´m so afraid he´ll never get the chance. I want him to live Jack, not just exist."
"Daniel?"
John had joined them, the film over, the haunting music playing over the credits behind him.
"This John Merrick, he was a real man on your world?"
"Yes, he was."
"You gave me his name."
"What? Oh, yes, I suppose I did. But as I said, if you want to change it "
"No. It is a name of honour. I would like to keep it, if I may."
"Of course."
"They could not cure him."
"No, they couldn´t. But he lived a long time ago."
"I think things have not changed so much."
"Maybe not."
"People would fear me, as they did him. Is that not so?"
"Probably, yes."
John had been speaking in Keetan, and Jack, whose head had been swinging from one to the other like a spectator at a tennis match, had had enough. "Daniel, what´s he saying?"
"He liked the film."
"I am sorry, Jack. I did not intend to " he turned to Daniel for the right word.
"Exclude."
"Ah yes, to exclude you. I will try only to speak English when you are present."
"Appreciate it, buddy. So, you liked the movie?"
"I did. It was most illuminating."
"It was?"
"Yes, Jack. I understand what it is you wished me to know."
Confused, and getting no help from Daniel, Jack patted John on the arm, smiling brightly at him. "So good, you get it. Want to clarify what it is you get?"
"I know that I can never be as others, and that I will never be accepted in your society."
Looking pained, Daniel gripped his wrist. "John, I "
"Daniel, I know that you will do all you can for me, but soon, you must continue with your own life. Please, I ask you not to be troubled. I will be well. I know now what it is to have friends. I could not say this before you came. My life will always be better for having known you."
"John, you deserve more. It´s not right. It´s crazy to judge someone by how they look, without ever getting to know them."
"Unfortunately, that´s the way things work in the real world, Daniel. You´d think we´d grow up, but we never do."
Daniel stared at Jack for so long that he started to get jumpy, smoothing over his hair and wondering if he had drool hanging off his lips. "Daniel, freaking me out, here."
"Jack, that´s it, that´s the answer."
"It is?"
"I have to go."
"Daniel, is this about me?"
"Yes John, it is. I have to go make some calls. You´ll be okay with Jack, won´t you?"
"I will."
"Okay, see you later."
"Daniel?" Jack stared at the door as it closed behind Daniel. Well, he would probably find out soon enough what that was all about. When Daniel got an idea in his head there was no stopping him until it was resolved. "So John, ready for the Marx Brothers? I guarantee, you´re gonna love them."
Jack and Daniel stood side by side as the gate closed behind John and Lya.
"That was a good plan, Daniel, contacting the Nox."
"Well, you gave me the idea, Jack."
"Yeah, still not clear how I did that."
"You said we should grow up."
"And?"
"And, the Nox are always telling us how 'young' we are, so of course, I immediately thought of them."
"Of course."
"You know, before he left, John told me that he´d missed trees."
"No accounting for taste. Still, if he´s into trees, he should love Noxville."
"Yes. He can be happy there. They´ll be able to see him. He´ll never be a monster to them."
"Yeah, gotta love the Nox."
"Lya liked John too, didn´t she?"
"Loved him." Jack turned to look at Daniel, taking in the relaxed stance and contented smile. "You needed this, didn´t you?"
Daniel turned to him, surprised that he understood. "Yes, I did. We´ve lost so much, Jack. I needed to save just one. To make one person´s life better. I know it´s not much in the grand scheme of things, but it matters."
"Well, if there was going to be a one, I´m glad it was John. He deserves a better life, and with the Nox, he´ll get one. You did good, Daniel."
Blushing from the unexpected praise, Daniel started to turn away.
"Daniel, wait."
Looking back over his shoulder, Daniel raised his eyebrows in enquiry.
"I uhm, I wondered what you were planning on doing now."
"I don´t know. Go home, I guess. I think maybe I miss trees too. And the sun."
"I was thinking you might want to come over. Finally have that pizza."
"Jack, it´s late, and I´m really not hungry."
"Then we skip the pizza. We can just talk."
"Jack "
"Please, Daniel. I need to talk to you."
"I guess we could go to my office for "
"No, not here. Please, come home with me."
"I don´t know, Jack. I´m tired. Can´t it wait 'till tomorrow?"
"Daniel, you know what this place is like. If we leave it, then there´ll be another crisis and that will be it. We have a lull now and we should make the most of it, ´cause guaranteed, it won´t last."
Sighing, Daniel looked away. He felt trapped, convinced that Jack was going to tell him at best that he was involved with Sam, and at worst that he was off the team because of his inappropriate feelings. He wished he could put that moment off forever, but he couldn´t. He was going to have to face it. "Okay, Jack. I´ll follow you back to your house, and we can talk."
Jack watched him walk away. Now that the moment had come, and he would at last tell Daniel how he felt about him, he was terrified.
Jack pulled into his drive, jumping out and unlocking his front door as Daniel parked. He went inside, wandering through his house turning on lights, then turning them off again because they were too harsh and putting on all the lamps instead. He briefly toyed with the idea of lighting some candles, but then Daniel was inside and pulling off his coat, and not wanting to look like he was trying too hard, he didn´t.
Daniel dropped his coat on a chair, but made no move to sit. He looked uncomfortable and unhappy, as if he knew what was coming and wished he could avoid it. But Daniel had never been the type of man to run from his problems, so he pulled back his shoulders and looked straight at Jack.
"So, are you finally going to tell me?"
Startled, Jack took a step closer. Was it possible Daniel had guessed what this was about? Jack had to hope not, because if that were the case, then Daniel´s miserable stance did not bode well for Jack´s hopes for the future. "Uhm, I might be. What were you thinking I might be telling you?"
"About you and Sam of course. Have you decided to retire and marry her? Is that it?"
Jack´s swallowed convulsively. Whatever he had expected to hear, it wasn´t that. "Daniel "
"I suppose I should be grateful that I mattered enough to you to be told personally. So, congratulations, I hope you´ll be very happy together."
"No, Daniel, that´s not I´m not going to marry Carter. Why would you think that?"
Daniel snorted. "Oh please. I´m not blind. I´ve seen the way you two moon over each other. Hell, the whole base has seen it, not that it was much of a surprise after your declaration during the zatarc fiasco."
"What? The how do you know about that? Who told you?"
"Well, not you, that´s for sure. And not Sam either, or Teal´c. I assume he knew since he was with you. I was the only one kept in the dark."
"No, it wasn´t like that. Daniel, you have to understand how awkward it was. We agreed. We all agreed that it wasn´t to leave the room."
"Jack, if you honestly believed that you could keep such juicy gossip quiet then you must be even more stupid than you sometimes pretend to be. How could you not know that it would be all around the base by nightfall?"
"People were talking about us?"
"Were they ever. The marines favoured the version where you and Sam made out in the zatarc chair, although I think some of the more sleazy stories gave you too much credit. Your knees would never have stood up to some of the more athletic manoeuvres they had you doing. The nurses, on the other hand, opted for the more romantic version in which the two of you declared your undying love, but agreed that your passion had to be denied since Earth needed you."
Daniel stopped, looking to Jack for a response, but Jack said nothing. He couldn´t, shock having temporarily robbed him of the power of speech.
"Nothing to say, Jack? Why am I not surprised. I waited, Jack. I waited for you to tell me what had happened. I thought I was your friend, but I guess I was wrong. Not one of you, my team, my family felt that I had the right to be included. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"
"I´m beginning to." Jack rubbed his face, needing to clear his head. "Daniel, I´m sorry. If I had had any idea you could hear about what was said, then I would have told you. I just there didn´t seem to be any point. It was over and done with, so "
"Over? It was never 'over'. It still isn´t. You know, I can understand you falling for Sam, but why did loving her mean you had to cut me out of your life?"
"God, Daniel, it wasn´t I don´t love Carter. I never have. That wasn´t it."
"Then *why* Jack? Why have you been avoiding me? Why have you been pushing me away if not for Sam?"
"Because of you Daniel. It was you; it was always you, never her."
This time it was Daniel´s turn to be shocked. He backed up, shaking his dead in denial. This was what he had longed for, to be important to Jack. Yet now that he was hearing it, he couldn‘t allow himself to believe, the pain of being wrong would be too much. "What do you mean it was me? I don´t Jack?"
Hating to see Daniel´s confusion and pain, Jack reached for him, but Daniel wouldn´t allow his touch. He pressed back against the door, arms wrapped around himself, his whole body screaming 'stay away'.
Dropping his hands, Jack shrugged, not knowing how to explain what he could barely understand. "Daniel, when they had me in that machine, I couldn´t they asked about the time Carter was behind the force shield and the ship was about to blow. They wanted to know why I wouldn´t leave her, and I told them I couldn´t. That I cared too much for her. That I would rather die than lose her. And that was true, but not all of the truth. Because it wasn´t only Carter. I would have felt just the same if it was Teal´c. And if it had been you, Daniel, if it had been you I would have battered against that barrier again and again until it broke or I did."
"Jack "
"No, please Daniel. I need to tell you this, and if I stop now I don´t know if I´ll have the courage again."
Daniel bowed his head, at the same time gesturing for him to continue.
"It scared me, Daniel. How much I felt for you. I didn´t want to face what it said about me that I could that I could love you."
At that, Daniel´s head shot up, his gaze fixed intently on Jack´s face.
"I didn´t want to face it, so I didn´t. I pushed it away and buried it deep, so I wouldn´t have to know. At the same time, I started up this thing with Carter. I swear, Daniel, I never meant for it to go so far. I never thought she would be ready to risk her career for me. It was supposed to be safe, but everything got out of hand, and I was stuck in this *lie*. I think for a while I even managed to convince myself that it was real. But it wasn´t, Daniel. It wasn´t ever."
"How could you do that Jack? Not just to me, but to Sam?"
"I don´t know."
"God, Jack. Sam loves you. It´s no lie for her. You should have stopped it before she got in so deep. You should have told her."
"I know, but I couldn´t do it. I didn´t want to hurt her."
"Rubbish. If you didn´t want to hurt her then you would never have strung her along like that. You wouldn´t let her trash every chance she has at happiness with someone else because she believes that she has a chance with you. You weren´t protecting Sam, you were protecting yourself. You didn´t want to deal with the fallout of her disappointment. You didn´t want people wondering why you weren´t in love with Sam. I mean, she´s beautiful, intelligent, and worships the ground you walk on. Most men would fall to their knees and thank god for her."
"You´re right, Daniel. Everything you´re saying is right. If I could go back and change things I would, but I can´t. I can only tell you how sorry I am and ask you to forgive me."
"Give me one good reason why I should?"
"Because you´re a better man than I am."
"That´s not fair, Jack."
"I know. I know I have no right to expect anything from you except contempt, but I what you said about nothing being more important that me, I thought maybe, and then Teal´c said something that let me hope "
"You´ve talked to Teal´c about this?"
"Not exactly. He talked to me after you collapsed. He´s not happy with me. At all."
"Good. What did he say?"
"A lot, most of which I really don´t want to go into. But he also said he seemed to think that maybe possibly, you might have some feelings for me."
Daniel flinched, quickly looking away.
"Daniel? Do you?"
Angry, Daniel pushed away from the door, brushing past Jack to pace across the living room. "I don´t know how you have the nerve to ask me that. You treat me like dirt for over a year, and then expect me to just forget it all and fall blissfully into your arms because you decide you love me."
"Well, that would be the best case scenario. Mostly I was hoping that you wouldn´t hate me. Daniel, I want you back in my life, in any way I can get you. Yes, I love you, but if you don´t feel the same for me, then I´ll deal with it and we can just be friends. The only thing I can´t deal with is losing you altogether. That´s why I´m asking, Daniel, because I have to know, can you love me?"
"Whether or not I love you is not the point."
"It is to me. Because if you feel for me even a tiny part of what I feel for you then we can make this work."
"This?"
"Us."
"Jack, there can´t be an us. Sam would "
"She knows."
"What?"
"Carter knows."
"What, that you love me?"
"No, that I don´t love her."
"How "
"She cornered me after the briefing, and I just couldn´t do it any more. All the lies, it had to stop. So I told her."
"Oh god, how did she that´s why she went away, isn´t it?"
"Yes. She said she needed time to think."
"Will she be staying on SG-1?"
"I don´t know. That´s one of the things she needs to think about."
"She´s going to hate me."
"I told you, Daniel. She doesn´t know how I feel about you."
"I think she does. Maybe not consciously, but I think she does know. She´s been different with me. Getting more and more competitive. It's always been there between us, but it runs deeper now, it´s more intense. Sometimes, when you were being particularly snide to me, I´d see this pleased look on her face, like she´d just won some prize."
"She likes to win."
"It was more than that. She wanted me to lose."
Jack nodded sadly. "That´s probably true. I don´t think it´s all because of me, though. She´s used to being the best, and then suddenly, there you were, being better. Hell, the first thing you did at the SGC was succeed where she had failed. You got that gate open in two weeks. She couldn´t do it in two years. You know, Daniel, if you weren´t so oblivious you could be insufferable."
"Is this your way of bringing me round?"
"Is it working?"
"Not as yet."
"At least you haven´t hit me, so it´s not all bad."
"Just be grateful I don´t have a zat to hand."
Jack grinned at him, undaunted by his severe expression. He was sniping back, and with Daniel, that was always a good sign.
Daniel dropped into the armchair, leaning his head back so that he could scowl at Jack. "And you can drop the dopey grin."
Jack tried, he really did, but he couldn´t completely contain his happiness. Daniel was still glaring at him, but something had changed. There was a lightness, a sense of expectation in the air between them. He sat on the couch opposite Daniel, giving him his best sincere look. "We would be so good together, Daniel, you know we would. A relationship with Carter would have been wrong, even if I had loved her. Hell, look at the mess I´ve caused already. How much worse would it have been if all the flirting and sexual tension had actually had substance?"
"But then how can you say you want a relationship with me? How will that be any different than if you started something with Sam?"
"Because it is different. You´re different." Jack leaned toward him in excitement, finally realising that what he was saying was true. Daniel was not Carter, and loving Daniel would never diminish either of them. "Don´t you see, it has always been different with you. Maybe it´s because Carter needs perfection, I don´t know, but when she thought she loved me she started acting as though everything I did was right. She never contradicted me, or criticized me, and it wasn´t just because of the chain of command. She´d have done the same regardless; it´s how she is. But not you."
"God, no."
Jumping to his feet, Jack began to pace restlessly. "No, see, that´s what I´m saying. And you know, I don´t think what Carter feels for me is love at all. How can it be when she doesn´t know me? She´s infatuated with me, not in love, and it was the worst thing she could do to me."
"I know. She brought out the worst in you; let you get away with too much. I could see what was happening, but I couldn´t make you see it."
"I know. I know you tried, and I shot you down every time. But I see now. I hate the way I´ve been this last year. Now do you see why a relationship with you would be different? You´re good for me, Daniel."
"Well, maybe if you actually listened to me sometimes."
"Hey, I listen. I don´t always understand, but I do listen. I have way more gaps in my ignorance now because of you."
Daniel smothered a laugh, wanting to hold on to his anger and annoyance, knowing that if he let Jack in now he would never be able to resist him.
Encouraged, Jack ploughed ahead. "You never let me get away with anything. No, it´s more than that. You make me think. I´m a better leader, a better man, because of you. I´ve let it all slide, but I want it back, Daniel. I miss it."
Daniel nodded his head, staring down at his clasped hands. "The Sacred band."
"Excuse me? Are we moving on to musical tastes now? 'Cause, I really wasn´t done with the love stuff."
Looking up with a smile, Daniel shook his head. "No, Jack. The Sacred Band. Three hundred men, formed to guard the citadel at Thebes; an army of lovers. How did Plutarch put it: 'A band cemented by friendship grounded upon love is never to be broken, and invincible.' It worked too, for the most part. They were never beaten until Phillip of Macedon defeated them at the battle of Chaeronea. It´s said that not one of them was left alive."
"That´s uh what is the point, exactly?"
"You know me, Jack, I like my classical references. Mostly, I was agreeing with you. The assumption made when forming the Sacred Band was that a man would fight more courageously, more honourably, if his lover were there to see it. Isn´t that what you were saying?"
"Yes, yes it was. And, this army of lovers stuff is you agreeing with me?"
"Yes. Mostly."
"Okay, so this is good. Now we´re getting somewhere. If you can see how good you were for me when we were friends, think how much better it could be if we were uh lovers. Look, I know "
"Yes."
"Wait up, Daniel, I´m not done yet. If you´d only listen, you´d see that "
"Jack. Yes."
"What?"
"Yes."
"Yes, you´ll yes? For real?"
"Yes."
"Holy crap. Yes? You said yes? You really want us to holy crap."
Jack stopped his pacing in front of Daniel, eyes wide in awe-struck terror. He reached out for Daniel, leaning down to him just as Daniel pushed himself up from the chair, his head colliding hard with Jack´s nose. Jack leaped backward, tripping over a footstool to land in a messy heap at Daniel´s feet.
"God, Jack, are you okay?"
Groaning, Jack clutched at his nose. "No, Daniel, I am not okay. Jesus, I think you broke my nose. Is it bleeding?"
"No, it´s not, and don´t whine. I didn´t hit you anywhere near hard enough to break anything. You can be such a baby, Jack."
"Dammit Daniel, I´m hurt here. You have one hard head. What were you doing?"
"Standing up. What were you doing?"
"I was trying to kiss you, okay?"
"What? Why?"
"What do you mean, why? Did we not just decide that we love each other and are going to try for a relationship?"
"Well, yes, but "
"So, I was thinking it might be an idea to seal the deal with a kiss."
"Oh."
"Oh? Just 'oh'? You do realise that sooner or later, a relationship will involve some kissage, right?"
"Uhm, I think maybe I hadn´t gotten that far yet. I was still a little freaked about the whole relationship thing. It´s kind of a huge deal for me."
"For me too. But just so I know we´re on the same page, we are talking eventual sex aren´t we? You do want that too?"
"Hell, yeah. Except, I´ve never and even with a woman it´s been awhile."
"I know the feeling."
"So, have you ever you know with a guy?"
"I´ve messed around a little, but mostly for convenience, you know. Women can be such hard work when you only have a twenty-four hour pass. So unless you want to pay for it, guys are easier. You know where you are, and you both pretty much want the same thing, which is to get off with no complications after."
"Oh. That´s not "
"No, that´s not how it is with us. With you, I want all the complications. That´s what scared me out so much. If it had just been sex, then no problem. But it could never be just anything with you. With you, I want it all. So, are you saying that you´ve never been with a guy before?"
"No, well yes uh no, not really."
"Could be clearer there, Daniel."
"Right, okay. There was this guy in college, I really liked him, he seemed to like me, and we kinda went out for a while. On dates. He kept telling me that he was sure we´d be good together, and I should loosen up and let it happen, and I kept putting him off until I couldn´t any more, but when it got to the point of actually doing anything, I panicked, and then he got mad because he thought I'd been leading him on, and then I got mad right back because I felt he was putting too much pressure on me, and then "
"My god, Daniel, did he hurt you?"
"And then I broke his nose. For real, not like you thinking I had when I barely tapped you."
"You broke his nose? On purpose? Way to go, Daniel. How´d you do it?"
"He kind of lunged at me, so I whacked him in the face with the skillet."
"Ouch. I can see now that I got off easy."
"I would never do anything like that anymore. I was a lot younger then, I have much better control now."
"How young?"
"Seventeen. Almost."
"Sixteen? You were sixteen? How old was the guy?"
"Twenty-two."
"Bastard. He deserved everything he got and more for trying to take advantage of you like that. So, any idea where he might be now, say if I wanted to pay him a visit?"
"Jack." laughing, Daniel reached down and pulled Jack to his feet, automatically taking a corresponding step backwards. But Jack wouldn´t let him. He held tight to Daniel´s hand, drawing him close. Lifting his free hand, he gently traced around one expressive eyebrow to run the back of his fingers down Daniel´s face before turning his hand to cup Daniel´s cheek. Daniel tensed, but allowed the touch, all the while watching Jack with a wary eye.
"So Daniel, about this kissing."
Daniel flinched away, pulling his hand out of Jack´s and backing towards the door.
"Daniel?"
"I´m sorry, Jack. I didn´t mean I´m sorry. Maybe I should go."
"No, please. Just tell me what´s wrong. We can work it out."
"It´s just I need time. To adjust. I´ve known how I felt about you for ages, but until today, I still thought you were in love with Sam, and barely tolerated me. I need to take things slowly. It still feel like any moment everyone we know will leap out of closets yelling ‘surprise, fooled you´."
"Daniel, I´m not going to take this back. I´m not kidding, I´m not trying to trick you, and this time, I´m not lying. This is it for me."
"I know you mean it. You´re not that cruel; to offer me everything I want and then take it away again. I *know* it, but I don´t completely believe it yet. It´s all so "
"Sudden?"
"Yeah."
"Not for me. I´ve been trying to get you alone since we got back from Keet."
"Oh. So that´s why you´ve been so twitchy."
"I have not been twitchy."
"You have."
"Have not."
"Have too. And always there, lurking in hallways and popping out of doorways. So disconcerting."
"I think we´re getting away from the point, specifically why you jumped like a scalded cat when I tried to kiss you. You don´t think I´m like that guy from your college, do you, because I´m not."
"Actually, you are. A lot like him."
"I am not. All he wanted was your body. I want all of you. I love you, you dumbass."
"How romantic."
"I was being romantic before and all it got me was a sore nose and a bruised ass. Look, Daniel, all I want is to be with you, so if it´s time you need, then fine, you got it."
"Do you mean that, 'cause I think maybe I´m still a little mad at you for being such a bastard to me. Time alone may not be enough. It could take chocolate too. Lots of chocolate."
"I don´t have any chocolate. There´s an all night gas station that sells chocolate. I could get some there."
"I didn´t mean right this minute, Jack."
"Oh. Okay. So we´re good, then?"
"Yes, we´re good. I do love you, Jack, and I want us to be together."
Jack smiled widely, relieved and happy. "Daniel, will you sleep with me tonight?"
"Jack, what part of 'taking it slowly' did you not get?"
"Just sleep Daniel. I swear, I won´t try anything. I want I need to be close to you tonight."
"Just sleep?"
"Just sleep."
Daniel looked hard at him, nodding as he made his decision. "Okay. I´ll stay."
"Sweet."
"You have got to be kidding."
"What´s wrong with them? You said you wanted to borrow some p.j.s, and these are p.j.s."
"Jack, we are about to spend our first night together, and you want me to wear Homer Simpson pyjamas?"
"They´re clean."
"I´m sure they are. They´re also hideous."
"Well, look on the bright side; I´m less likely to jump you if I have Homie staring up at me."
Daniel gave him a dirty look, grabbing the pyjamas out of his hand and stalking off to the bathroom. Jack heard the shower start up and sat down heavily on the bed. He had the uneasy feeling that even Homer Simpson wouldn´t be able to keep him away from Daniel. What had he been thinking, asking Daniel to sleep with him? How was he ever going to spend the night beside Daniel without touching? He had to wonder if there was any history of insanity in his family. Maybe he should ask his mother.
Sighing, he dropped backwards, turning his head to the side for a surreptitious sniff at the sheets. Damn, they smelt of pizza and barbecue sauce.
Leaping up, he had the bed stripped in seconds, tossing the dirty linen into the corner and snatching up a new set. He made the bed in record time, turning back the comforter invitingly before bundling up the sheets and heading downstairs to the washing machine.
He heard the shower shut off as he came back up the stairs. Then the bathroom door opened and out came Daniel, followed by a cloud of steam. He had opted to wear only the bottom half of the borrowed pyjamas. They hung low on his hips, leaving his chest bare and glistening from the shower. His wet hair stood up in spikes, making him seem oddly young and vulnerable. Jack whimpered, trying and failing to drag his eyes away from Daniel, now convinced that he was going to be a gibbering wreck by morning.
Daniel pointed hesitantly towards the bedroom. "So, should I "
Jack nodded, finally pulling himself together. "Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead. I´m going to uh, shower."
They passed each other, both pressing back as far as possible into the wall to avoid touching.
Still in a daze, Jack threw off his clothes and stepped into the shower, leaning his forehead against the cool tile. "Crap. I am so screwed." Reaching up, he turned the heat dial, wincing as he was hit by a blast of icy water. He was going to need it.
He opened the bedroom door, peeking in. Daniel had turned off the overhead light, leaving only the small lamp, bathing the room in a mellow glow. Clearing his throat, he pushed the door wide and went in.
A quick glance to the bed showed him that Daniel was wide-awake, lying stiffly on his back with his arms crossed over his chest like a corpse. His eyes slid over to Jack, then hastily away again. Neither of them spoke.
Jack was wearing his bathrobe, having forgotten to take his own pyjamas into the bathroom with him. He got them from the drawer, and then turned his back on Daniel to pull them on. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn´t help it. He had no idea where all these new inhibitions were coming from. Daniel had seen him naked countless times at the SGC, yet somehow, this was different.
Buttoning his pyjama jacket right to the top, he draped his robe over the chair, turned off the lamp and climbed into bed, his position mirroring Daniel´s. He moved as far away from Daniel as possible, almost hanging off the edge of the bed, but even with the distance between them, he could feel the heat radiating from Daniel´s body.
He shifted uncomfortably, the bed tilting as Daniel did his own fidgeting.
Finally, Jack could take it no more, drawing in a breath to say something anything. "Daniel "
"For god´s sake, this is insane."
Without warning, he had an armful of Daniel, the impetus throwing him sideways and off the bed. He landed in a heap, Daniel sprawled on top of him.
"What the hell?"
"Sorry. That didn´t quite go as planned."
"For crying out loud Daniel, what are you doing?"
"I thought it would be better if we got the first kiss out of the way. Then maybe we wouldn´t be so on edge."
Jack thought about it. He was lying on a hard floor instead of his soft bed. His back hurt, his head hurt, he´d twisted his right knee, stubbed his toe and he was getting the breath squished out of him by Daniel. Also, one of Daniel´s knees was digging into a very sensitive part of Jack´s anatomy. On the other hand, Daniel´s face was only inches from his, Daniel´s hands were tangled in his hair, and to top it off, Daniel was giving him that sweet, remorseful smile of his. "Yeah, this is definitely better."
He ran his hands up Daniel´s back and into his hair, cradling Daniel´s skull. Gently, he guided him down, bringing their lips together in a tender kiss. Daniel pressed close, his lips parting slightly to let Jack in. Jack rolled them over, putting himself on top, then lifting up to look down at Daniel.
Daniel pulled at the buttons on Jack´s pyjama jacket, ripping them off when they wouldn´t come loose fast enough. They clattered across the floor as Daniel tore the jacket from Jack´s arms, tossing it away. He smiled up at Jack, caressing Jack´s face, running his thumb over Jack´s lips. Jack sucked the thumb into his mouth, nibbling around the tip, making Daniel gasp and squirm deliciously.
Jack released the thumb, kissing his way from finger to finger, across the palm and down the inside of the arm to the chest. He swirled his tongue around one sensitive nipple, sucking it into his mouth before moving across to the other, giving it equal attention. Daniel was moaning, his body writhing sensuously.
Jack moved downwards, lost in the miraculous sensation of Daniel´s skin on his lips and tongue.
"Jack."
He brought his head up, trying to focus.
"Too soon, Jack. Right now, how I´m feeling, I don´t want to stop you. Don´t even think I could, but I´m not ready. I want to, god I want to, but please, Jack."
Sighing, Jack, pressed his hand to Daniel´s face. Then leaned forward for one more kiss before lifting up and helping Daniel back into bed.
They lay for a long time, face-to-face, touching, kissing, and stroking silently, bodies communicating their love and desire. When he could stay awake no longer, Daniel rolled close to Jack, pillowing his head on Jack´s shoulder and tangling his fingers in the chest hair.
Jack wrapped an arm around him, cradling him close, one hand carding through the soft hair while the other lightly caressed the hand on his chest, fingers tangling.
Jack blinked rapidly, feeling unaccustomed tears sting his eyes. Daniel´s hair tickled his chin. Daniel´s breath huffed out against his shoulder as Daniel slept in his arms.
Teal´c was right. He was way more fortunate than he deserved. He had been given a second chance. A chance to love Daniel, and to be with Daniel. To sleep with him, and to wake with him. To protect him, and to care for him. To spend his life with Daniel. All this was his now, and deserving or not, he was keeping it. This was his; Daniel was his. He tightened his grip, letting the tears fall. Now and forever, Daniel was his.
***The End***