The New Look
by Remma (morennab@yahoo.co.uk)
"Oh my god, you're...uh...you...oh my god!"
"What, are the pants too much? I wasn't sure, but Sam said I should get them. Mistake, huh?"
"Huh?"
"The pants...a mistake."
"Leather...they're...you don't...they're..."
"Jack, are you okay? You've gone almost purple, and your eyes are all buggy. Are you sick?"
"Huh?"
"You know, you really don't look well...maybe we should give dinner a miss."
"And that...shirt thing, that's not plaid...and it...it..."
"The shirt's wrong too? Oh. I really liked this one, I know it's a little tighter than I usually wear, but..."
"It clings."
"I know, I wanted to get the next size up, but Janet said no, this one was better."
"It clings. You wear plaid...and tweed. Not...not...uh...you...oh my god."
"It's not that bad, is it? I thought I looked okay, but I can go change if you hate it."
"No, no...uh...I don't...uh...when did you...uhm...?"
"Oh, Sam and Janet took me shopping, I needed a new meet and greet suit."
"You are not wearing that to meet and greet...nuh-huh...no way."
"Well no, obviously not. Just, while we were there, I got a few other things as well. I never really liked shopping before, but this time it was quite fun. Maybe because I wasn't on my own."
"So, Carter and the Doc got you kitted out like this? Why does that not surprise me."
"Seriously, Jack, do I look a complete ass?"
"Hell, no."
"Really?"
"Oh, yeah. Good enough to eat."
"What?"
"What?"
"Good enough to eat?"
"Oh, right...didn't mean to say that."
"Then why did you?"
"I'm still in shock...who knew you were so hot."
"Hot? I'm hot?"
"Kinda...not that I've been looking...I mean obviously...uh...not."
"Well, no. Except, you must have looked a bit, or you wouldn't have noticed."
"Daniel, I'd need to be a corpse not to notice. I mean, look at you...you're parading around in an unbelievably clingy shirt, the exact shade of blue as your eyes, and a pair of pants that are so molded to your perfect, pert, butt...and...are you even wearing underwear?"
"So, you noticed all that without looking?"
"Okay, maybe I looked a bit."
"Oh. How long?"
"How long, what?"
"How long have you been looking?"
"Oh, well...uh...you know."
"If I knew, I wouldn't be asking. Is it just the clothes, or...uhm..."
"No."
"What?"
"No, it's not just the clothes, although they're very...uh...nice."
"Nice?"
"Yeah...very nice. You look good in other stuff too, though."
"Really, what?"
"Well, the cammos look pretty good on you, and the boonie. And you have this blue sweater you wear. Oh, and that zip top; the sweatpants; the bandanna; those really old, worn jeans; that black tee shirt; the Abydonian robes; the funeral suit. Actually, even the plaid shirts and tweed jacket don't look too bad."
"Jack, that's pretty much everything I own."
"Oh, well, you do look good in pretty much anything."
"Sounds like you've been noticing a lot."
"No...well...yes, I guess. Do you ever...uh..."
"The dress blues."
"What?"
"I noticed you look really good in your dress blues. With the shades."
"You like that, huh?"
"Oh, yeah. You look..uh...really...nice."
"Not hot?"
"That too."
"Sweet."
"So..."
"Right."
"Right, what?"
"What?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm not entirely sure. I'm confused...what are you talking about?"
"Noticing."
"Noticing?"
"In that we've both noticed each others...uh...hotness. So..."
"Right."
"God, here we go again."
"No, this time I meant something by it."
"Oh. What?"
"Well, like you said...you know."
"I didn't say anything."
"You said we'd both noticed."
"And?"
"And nothing. I was agreeing with you...about the noticing."
"Oh. Okay. So..."
"So, what? You keep saying so."
"And you keep interrupting, if you'd just let me finish, you'd know so, what."
"Oh. Sorry. Do please continue."
"Thank-you. So...what are we intending to do about this situation."
"What situation?"
"God, do you practice being dense in front of a mirror? This situation, Jack. The one where we are apparently attracted to each other...lord knows why."
"Oh, that one."
"Yes. What are we going to do about it."
"What did you have in mind?"
"Consummation."
"Oh. Beat about the bush, why don't you."
"You asked."
"I did. I should have known better."
"Do you have a problem with it?"
"Well, I can think of one fairly major problem."
"And that is?"
"The fact that we're both guys could be a bit of a show stopper."
"Why?"
"Daniel, we're both guys."
"So?"
"Have you done this before?"
"What?"
"This."
"What, had incomprehensible conversations? Jack, I've known you for five years...obviously."
"Dammit, Daniel, you're doing this deliberately. You know I mean doing it with a guy...have you?"
"Done it with a guy...no."
"Then."
"Yeah, but really, how hard can it be?"
"Pretty hard, hopefully."
"See, Jack, you're already talking dirty...the rest should be a snap."
"Doesn't this bother you at all?"
"No. Why should it? I don't feel that gender need be an issue. It's not like I don't love you."
"You love me?"
"Of course. You think I'd squish myself into these pants if I didn't? You have no idea how hard they are to get on. I had to lie on the bed and use a shoelace to haul up the zipper. Oh, and by the way, no...I'm not wearing any underwear."
"Damn. You did this on purpose?"
"I had to do something to crank you into action...I was starting to get really frustrated. It worked, didn't it?"
"Oh yeah. Incidentally, I love you too, you devious little...archaeologist."
"Less of the little, if you don't mind. And, since we've now established that we are not only attracted to each other, but also in love, I suggest we stop wasting time here and head for the bedroom."
"What about dinner?"
"Dinner... you want dinner?"
"I'm hungry, and I get the impression I'm going to need to keep my strength up."
"Fine...we'll take snacks in with us. Lots of snacks. Now come on."
"I'm right behind you...and might I say, those pants make it a pretty good place to be."
"Oh, speaking of the pants, I think you're going to have to help me get them off."
"Sweet. Best offer I've had in a long while."
"Oh, I think I can promise you, Jack, tonight is going to get better and better."
"Well, damn, that works for me."
***The End***
