What Would You Bid
by Remma (morennab@yahoo.co.uk)
"Oh, god. Tell me again why I agreed to do this?"
"Come on, Daniel...it's for charity. It'll be fun."
"Fun? Are you insane? There are hundreds of screaming women out there, and any minute now we have to parade out in front of them dressed like...like...like this. Who chose these outfits...Madonna?"
"I do not believe that you have any reason to be concerned, DanielJackson. Restrictive clothing is most becoming on you."
"Oh. Uh...thank-you, Teal'c. You look very nice too."
"Hey, how about me? I look good too, right? Guys?
"So...good turn out, isn't it?"
"It is indeed, DanielJackson."
"Okay, fine, just wait 'till the bidding starts, then we'll see who has the last laugh."
"Great, Jack, way to make me even more nervous. What if no-one bids for me? I don't want to look ridiculous...god...somebody buy me. Please."
"I'm sure someone'll want you Daniel. You too Teal'c."
"I have already taken measures to ensure that I am purchased, O'Neill."
"You have? How?"
"I have entered into a prior arrangement with MajorCarter, whereby I will provide the funds to enable her to complete the transaction for my sale."
"Damn, that's devious."
"Why didn't I think of that. Is it too late for me to do the same? It's not too late, is it?"
"Daniel, calm down. You'll be fine. And yes, it's way too late. Carter's already here with Janet. So, unless you want to go out there and shimmy your cute little leather clad butt over to her table..."
"Shut up, Jack."
"Were you to do so, DanielJackson, it could only increase your selling price."
"Ah, Teal'c...it's good to know that I have at least one friend."
"Hey, that's not fair. I'm your friend. I was just trying to relax you, right Teal'c?"
"You were not. You were attempting to be humorous at DanielJackson's expense. It is something you do frequently."
"No, no, you've got the wrong end of the stick here, big guy. I'm laughing with Daniel, not at him."
"Indeed."
"Right. Hey, look, Ferretti's just been bought by that crazy clerk from accounts. Poor guy, he looks like he's swallowed a camel."
"And next up at the SGC charity slave auction, we have lot #13: Dr. Daniel Jackson, linguist, archaeologist, babe. Come on out, Doctor Jackson."
"Woah, listen to them howl. You're up Dannyboy."
"Oh, god, I can't do it. This is just so embarrassing."
"They appear to be impatient for your entry, DanielJackson. Perhaps it is unwise to keep them suspended."
"In suspense, Teal'c, it's in suspense. And you have a point. Better get out there Daniel, before they tear the place apart."
"Okay, okay, I'm going. I can't believe I'm doing this. Wish me luck."
"Good luck, DanielJackson."
"He's going to need it. I heard that the nurses took up a collection and formed a syndicate to get him."
"Competition is extremely fierce. The bids have already surpassed all others and continue to climb."
"Did someone just bid five hundred bucks for him?"
"Yes, Dr. Fraiser. She has not been successful."
"Sonovabitch. What's it at now?"
"Nine hundred and climbing."
"Unbelievable."
"It has now passed one thousand. It would appear that DanielJackson is much in demand."
"Yeah. Who knew."
"MajorCarter and DoctorFraiser did, in fact, anticipate this reaction to his inclusion in the auction."
"They did? What did they say about me?"
"You were not mentioned, O'Neill."
"Crap."
"Fifteen hundred."
"I'll never hear the end of this...unless someone pays even more for me. Do you think..."
"I do not."
"Crap. Aren't they done yet."
"No. Eighteen hundred."
"Okay, I heard. Geez, you don't have to repeat every bid."
"It is over. DanielJackson has gone for nineteen hundred and fifty dollars."
"Sweet. Who bagged him?"
"Several extremely attractive females, who apparently belong to a group known as The Alphagate."
"Who, those babes at the front table? My god, they are going to eat him alive."
"Indeed."
***The End***
