666: Part 2

Blatantly ignoring the swooning, busty, six-foot-tall female demons surrounding him, their voices slowly rotting more of his brain cells, the red-head glared towards the smirking, irritating demon sitting in his big, annoying red throne, his claws spearing another helpless human.

/What a hobby,/ Schuldich said distastefully, and then he suddenly squeaked, vision snapping down at a curious looking she-devil.

"Not *now*," he hissed, and pushed the rest of them away, walking briskly towards the exit. The temperature had cooled. Screw waving a feather around just to please that bastard. He had better things to do. Being partner-less was just simply irritating and if he had to put up with one more annoying "fan" girl--

"Where do you think *you're* going, Little Guilty One?" the husky voice from behind him cackled, yellow eyes suddenly dropping down onto the other demon.

He halted in his steps, just feeling the snakes crawling out of the other's teeth and wrapping around his feet. "You obviously don't need me here," he choked out, trying to build up a mental shield against the slithering-signals that were being broadcast into his mind. "You have your females and your... H'ors d'eurves... No one can touch the gates of your home, much less penetrate it. And, you have the little short devil with his laptop to guard you. I should just stand outside with the rest, ne? Seems that's all I'm used for."

"You're right," Satan replied, smirk filling his face completely now.

"But you don't get paid to stand outside." Schuldich let his fangs grind against each other in frustration and he turned back towards his boss. Swiftly he moved back to where he was before, and was once again surrounded by the fangirls.

/Only three more hours,/ he convinced himself. /Then I can go find a human. And stop being bored. I really, really want to kill something. Why the hell does everything have to be immortal in this stupid world!?/

> a tunnel, a dark-haired boy peeked out. "Satanu-sama--"

"Yes?" the large devil replied quickly, grinning.

/You aren't *supposed* to be there,/ Nagi thought bitterly, and continued. "I believe the construction of the newest bridge over Magma Falls is coming along, but..." A redhead peered out from his pile of fangirls, speaking up. "You're missing some humans, eh?"

"I told you to stay out of my mind!" Nagi snapped, a hand slowly lifting into the air. "I'll--"

"No telekinesis in the big man's room, Nagikins," Schuldich said with the annoying smirk, standing up, thus allowing the fangirls to fall off.

"Schuldich, one day, I swear, I *will* kill you!"

"You can't kill me, stupid."

"Very few demons are immortal, you know."

"Oh, right. Where the hell do we go after we're dead, then?"

"No where. If you're dead, you're dead. Your brain turns off. You're just another carcass."

"Maaaaa."

"Yamete," Satan hissed from his fancy chair. "Schuldich, send for--"

"Six," Nagi said.

"--Six humans to help with the building of the bridge. ...And one more, for me." He licked his lips.

/Nnngh./ He shuddered. "Yeah, whatever." The redhead looked at Nagi. "Take good care of his Darkness, Nagikins!"

"SchuLDICH!"

The magmian door slammed and Nagi screamed out a profanity that made Satan snicker.

***

Schuldich wandered the streets once again, now with a predatory gleam in his eye. He would find five of the most boring humans born to the earth, one more for Satan, and then find another one to work that he would take very easily. An interesting human would take some time that would have to be bluffed for, but it would be worth it. Human flesh... Suddenly he stopped, tipped ears pointing in the general direction of a group of six, yelling at each other.

"You asshole!! You spilled it all over me, Yohji!!"

"It's your fault, Aya!"

"HOW is this my fault!? Where the HELL am I going to wash this off!?"

"Aya, I'll wash it, don't worry--"

"Ken, where are YOU going to clean it off?"

"I don't know, but--"

"Will you three STOP bickering!? You're giving me a headache!"

"Stop whining, Crawford, let's see YOU figure out a way to fix the problem."

"Gee, I dunno. Wipe it off!?"

"..."

"Why didn't I think of that?"

"'Cause you're a moron, Yohji!?"

"Hey! TAKE THAT BACK!"

"Fighting hurts Satan..."

"GAahhh, stop doing that magma thing, you're burning your skin and you're driving me nuts!"

"Kyi--"

"You try doing that stupid war cry and I'll stuff you in that Care-bears room."

"Iiiieeeeee..."

"Yeees."

Schuldich stood there, dazed and confused. Five of them were yelling at the top of their lungs, and the last one was cleaning up the mess. He grinned slightly, and decided to prod into their minds--

"Farfarello! NO! NOT THE--"

A ball of burning hot magma came straight in Schuldich's direction.

/...!/

Thinking quickly, the devil did the only thing he could... And stepped aside, letting it fly into the demon behind him, selling lawyer's skins. "AAaaaagghh!! The PAIN!"

"Throwing lavaballs hurts Satan."

"Oh, shut up."

Schuldich looked at the six of them, a lopsided look on his face, when he approached. "Six humans in perfect condition."

"Except for my damn pants..."

"Aya! Shut up!"

"Why don't YOU, Yohji!?"

"Just what I was looking for," Schuldich grinned, ignoring the growing catfight between the lot of them. /Hopefully I'll find one that's a little more interesting than those two./

"All of you. Shut up. You're coming with me for a little... Bridge work."

The one who had cleaned up the mess looked up at the redhead, his smudgey-blonde hair falling into his eyes. "You mean... Huh..?" The faint tingling of someone else in his mind sent him off balance and he fell over. "'Te!"

"Yes, Omittchi," Schuldich said, letting the rest of them blink wide eyes at the name. "And you, Fujimiya Ran, and Kudou Yohji, and Hidaka Ken, and Brad Crawford, and Jei."

"Your name is BRAD!?"

"...No! How the hell would he get my name?"

The taller blonde fell over, snickering. "Brad! His name is Brad! Brad Pitt! AHAHAHAHA!"

"I'm gonna kick your ass, Yoyo-boy."

"You come and try it.. Brad! Ahahaha!--wait a minute, YOYO-boy!?"

"Shut UP," Schuldich suddenly snapped, and they all managed to be silent. "I am Satan's executive body guard, and thus, if you do anything to rebel, I'll do terrible, painful things. Except for Jei, over here. I'll shove him into the Barney asylum."

"You'll ruin him!" Ken yelled. "That's not right!"

Schuldich's acidic eyes caused the chocolate-haired boy to be quiet. He continued, shifting his weight to secretly scope out each of the humans that he would be looking through. "If you'd all follow me. And if you refuse..." The demon grinned slightly, watching the humans turn to each other with soft shrugs, before they looked back at him. Yohji tilted his head.

"Um, what about Br--" He got a look. A *SCARY* look. "--Crawford? He hasn't been able to see two feet in front of him since that first day..."

"We'll fix that," Schuldich replied. "Now, if you'd follow me, or do I have to get the chains?"

The line of six humans followed him for a long while and eventually the devil leading them grabbed another human and threw them in line. "Most of you will be working on the bridge over Magma Falls under the strict order of Naoe, and even me if I get demoted." His smirk widened. "Which would never happen, of course."

"P'sh. What makes *you* so high and mighty?" Yohji replied, arms crossed.

"Well, let's see, Yohji," the devil replied, sinking his mental teeth into the blonde's mind. "You died at age 27 from lung cancer, leaving your lifetime lover Asuka in your new home in Peru." Yohji stopped in his steps, and was shoved out of line by the growling Aya behind him. No one else had seemed phased by the whole deal.

"How--"

"Why do you think I'm first in command, stupid? Now get in line. We've got a long 'hike' back, children."

Aya grit his teeth together. This guy was annoying. Annoying enough to run through with that non existant katana he'd had his eye on...