Miss You Love

Author's notes: I've no idea who owns the Weiss Kreuz but it's obviously not me. And I don't own the song Miss You Love which is also by Silvechair. So this is again a songfic (sort of) though I didn't use all the lyrics.

// Brad's thoughts

[ ] lyrics

[How I'm supposed to feel

Or what I'm supposed to say

But I'm not, not sure,

Not too sure how it feels

To handle every day

And I miss you love]

Everything was red.... but not from blood. Despite the color, there was nothing frightening or threatening in that place. The atmosphere was more like peaceful. Crawford knew he was dreaming but he didn't want to wake up and return to the busy world that his life was nowadays. A moment's peace was more than welcome to his tired mind.

The color brought something to his mind. Something he hadn't thought for awhile. Or rather someone. The long red hair like fire and deep green eyes.

//Why am I thinking this? It's been so long already. He probably doesn't even remember me....//

Crawford sighed.

//Who am I trying to fool here... Of course he remembers me, but does he want to? After I treated him so badly it wouldn't be a surprise if he didn't.//

Lost in his thoughts he didn't notice that someone appeared behind him. Hearing a small snap he turned around and almost ran into Schuldig who was standing silently and looking at Crawford.

[Make room for the prey

'Cause I'm coming in

With what I wanna say but

It's gonna hurt

And I love the pain]

"Schu...Schuldig? Is that really you? //Well that was clever...//

Crawford mentally kicked himself. Schuldig still didn't say anything but the look in his eyes was sad, something Crawford hadn't seen before and it frightened him. Silent Schuldig couldn't mean anything good... Then the realization hit him. What if Schuldig was dead and everything he had thought to be a dream was really a vision of future. The thought made his heart ache. It couldn't be possible, it just couldn't.

Schuldig smiled sadly at the thought and turned around to leave.

"Don't worry Brad, I don't die so easily..." Crawford just stared him charmed by his familiar, slightly nasal voice.

//Snap out of it you idiot! // "But...you can't just leave. Schuldig, I'm.... I'm sorry. Please wait." But Crawford was already alone in his dream world. The redhead had disappeared leaving no traces.

Crawford woke up with a gasp. He hated when dreams mixed with visions. It always gave him a headache. With a groan he got up from the bed and somehow got himself to the bathroom to get an aspirin.

Despite the headache Crawford still had the dream clearly in his mind. The urge to find Schuldig was now almost compulsive. The problem was he had no idea where the German could be. The Schwarz was gone. Actually it had been gone almost five years now. The only member whose whereabouts Crawford knew was Nagi but he probably wasn't the first person to know where Schuldig was. It was worth a try anyway.

//Now, remember he's not a kid anymore...// "Nagi?"

"Crawford, how nice to hear from you. How are you?" Nagi's cheerful voice was heard from the phone.

"I'm fine, I was..." Crawford started but was interrupted by Nagi who seemed to have a lot of things to talk about.

"What have you been doing all these years? You can't believe what's happened here. You know Farfie found himself a girlfriend. She's almost as insane as he is. Sounds scary, huh?

//I didn't need to know that...//

Schu moved back to Germany and I haven't heard from him since that. You probably think I live with Tot, but it just didn't work...I really tried. I've been seeing Omi for awhile now and everything is going so well and-"

"Nagi.", Crawford said.

"What?", a little confused Nagi asked.

"Shut up." Crawford didn't mind that Nagi sounded hurt. He had more important things to do right now than listen to his babbling.

"Where did you say Schuldig is?"

"I think he went to Berlin, but I have his number if you want it?"

"Yes, thank you. I have to go now." Crawford wrote the number down and quickly said farewell to Nagi.

Crawford didn't remember being this nervous before.

"Hallo?", he heard someone answering. The feeling of hearing Schuldig's voice again was overwhelming. Crawford didn't know what to say. "Is somebody there?" the nasal voice sounded repulsive.

"Schuldig...it's me.", Crawford said softly.

"Brad? Is that you? Where did you get my number? Or never mind, it doesn't really matter." Schuldig didn't sound angry but that didn't mean he wasn't. He sounded little more like his own self again which was a relief to Brad who had been startled by the sad creature of his dream.

"Schu, we should probably talk..." Crawford tried to sound apologetic but it didn't seem to work since Schuldig snapped almost immediately.

"So now I'm actually allowed to talk to you Brad? After five years you can't just...." Crawford interrupted him:

"I want to meet you, then we can talk about this."

"Okay, whatever... But you have to come here.", Schuldig finally accepted.

"Of course, I'll take the first flight."

[I love the way you love

But I hate the way

I'm supposed to love you back]

In the next evening Crawford was finally in Berlin. The two had agreed to meet in a small bar near the airport. Stepping inside Crawford noticed Schuldig who was sitting in the corner and staring at his glass. He looked exactly the same. His hair looked, if possible, even redder than it had before. But they say that everything looks red when you're in love, don't they.

//Where the hell did that thought come from?! I'm not in love...I'm not-

"Then why did you come all the way from America to see him?", His mental voice (which Crawford didn't know existed asked him. "Because I want to apologize...no because, because... well maybe I'm in love with him then. Are you happy now?" But no one answered to him anymore so he turned his attention back to the telepath he obviously had missed so much. Schuldig looked so lonely. Why hadn't he noticed that before?

//Maybe I just didn't look closely enough.// it was just another thing to regret to his already long list.

[Remember today

I've no respect for you

And I miss you love

And I miss use love]

Slowly Crawford walked to the table where Schuldig was sitting. He almost expected to see those sad eyes from his dream but instead he became aware of deep greens with that familiar sparkle in them looking intensely at him.

"So here you are Brad, I don't know if I should cry or laugh." Crawford sat down opposite to him.

"I don't know where to start Schu, I'm so happy to see you. It's been so long." Schuldig chuckled.

"I must be dreaming. You've never been this nice to me before...", he fell silent with the pain which was clearly seen in his face. Crawford wanted to kick himself for causing pain to his love. He didn't even notice that he started to think Schuldig as his love.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Schu...I'm so sorry, for everything. I know you probably hate me but during these years you were gone I realized that...that I.../

/Why can't I say it?// All this time Schuldig had sat silently and listened. // If you don't say something soon, I'll go insane.//

Then Schuldig finally spoke: "Brad...I hoped you'd come to me someday...I didn't dare to believe but I hoped. And I always knew I'd forgive you anything if you just loved me."

The last words were told so quietly that Brad almost missed them. Somehow he still heard them and it almost made him cry. But Brad Crawford doesn't cry, instead he gently took Schuldig's hand into his own and stroked his palm while he continued talking.

"Why don't you read my mind Schuldig?"

"But Brad, you know I can't do that..." Schuldig started.

"You can, if I let you. I think you deserve to know what I think." Crawford said softly. He felt the telepath carefully enter his mind and soon the usual grin was seen in his face.

"I can't believe it's true Brad. I'm so happy." Crawford smiled gently to him. "Like I tried to say earlier, I ...lo"

"I love you too Brad, you don't have to say it. Come, let's go somewhere else.", Schuldig had already stood up and was offering his hand to Brad. Crawford took it and pulled the German in his arms. Looking in his eyes Crawford felt once again the guilt weighting his mind.

//What could I do to make this all up to you...// Schuldig, who now could hear his thoughts smiled.

"You know, one thing could help a bit..." Confused Crawford looked at him.

"What's that?" Schuldig's face had suddenly came very close. "A kiss..." And then his lips were on Crawford's.

//This is nice...// Schuldig's lips were soft and sweet and Crawford forgot for awhile that they were standing in the middle of the bar full of people. After the gentle kiss Crawford wound his arm around Schuldig's waist and smiled to him.

"So that helped a bit?"

"Yeah but you still have much to make up for me..."

The redhead grinned.

"So where do you wanna go now? You want to stay in Germany or what?" Crawford asked as they were walking in street.

"Nah, I though it would be nice to be back home but I guess my home is already somewhere else. Schuldig smiled and curled closer to Brad. "So whatever you want is fine with me." Crawford thought for awhile.

"Well how about Japan? I'd really like to see that Farfie's girlfriend. And I haven't seen Nagi for a long time either." Schuldig smiled lazily.

"As long as you're there with me it's a perfect place..."

[I love the way you love

But I hate the way

I'm supposed to love you back]

*OWARI*

That ending sucks but it's the best I could do, for now at least