The Blue Journal: Untitled [katakana asylum]

Part I

I couldn't exactly remember where I was and why I was here. Perhaps the fever made my memory falter or perhaps it has been so long since I felt the comfort of soft, silky sheets beneath my body that I have totally forgotten that life actually still exists… that I don't know. But one thing is for sure, it was already the sixth year of the Meiji and five years after the defeat of Shishio-san.

I can still very well remember those days and nights I faithfully stayed by his side, following his every command, giving him my absolute loyalty… those days and nights I helped him till the very end.

Well, actually It's not that I follow him because I'm scared of him, its just that he served as my teacher, my mentor just in the nick of time, just when I badly needed one. He was the one who gave me the most important lesson in life that sill rang fresh in my dazzled memory.

Ever since then I stayed with him, fought with him till Himura Battousai defeated him.

After that I decided to pursue my own destiny, going up North with nothing but a little stash of money and a few spares of clothing. But in just barely four years of travelling, I fell sick with fever and I don't know… Perhaps I collapsed since I found myself cooped up quite snuggly inside this pretty room, asleep for two days and still trying to figure out what really happened.

I looked around since I just woke up and studied every nook and cranny of this tiny, pretty room. There were beautiful pictures hanging on the wall, pictures of beautiful scenarios the painter was able to capture. There was a low table on the corner and an exquisite lamp near the bed.

I sat my body up and a sigh unconsciously escaped my lips when I felt the luxurious caress of the silken sheets against my body. I was about to stand up when suddenly the door opened and a woman came inside carrying a tray. I looked up and smiled softly.

"Yumi?" I whispered noticing her long, black hair and her creamy white complexion. Then I frowned. Yumi's practically… decently clad in a snug, yellow yukata? Whatever happened to her?

"Is it you?" I asked as she frowned slightly, kneeling down across from my futon.

I gazed at her and noticed her eyes, like deep, dark shining pools, staring back at me with obvious concern. She has a small, feminine nose and her lips, pink, smooth, and so glossy. Although strange, I found myself rejoicing upon seeing a familiar face before me. My hand immediately reached out to caress her creamy cheek.

"It is really you!" I whispered joyously. She smiled and shook her head.

"I'm afraid you're quite mistaken." She said. "My name is Hosokawa Asami."

Upon hearing this, my smile faltered and I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I quickly snatched my hand away and remembering proper manners, I bowed my head and apologized. She smiled, this time tenderly and understandingly.

"Oh no need." She said as I slowly looked at her face. "You've been down with the fever for the past three days and no doubt your thinking is a little garbled." She added.

"What happened? Where am I?" I asked, finally getting the words out.

"My father found you unconscious on the ground just last Tuesday." She replied. "You were burning with fever that he decided to take you home with him."

I nodded and once again I looked around. No doubt her father's rich since everything around me exudes elegance and good taste. I then turned back to her and smiled lightly.

"May I see the master of the house?" I asked politely, which actually surprised me. During my days with Shishio, I've never felt anything except…um… well basically, I felt nothing. But now I even get to feel what it is like to be shy and tongue-tied before a pretty lady.

"Oh my father's not here yet. He's in town handling some sort of business but he'll be back later." She replied. Then more softly she added, "May I know what you're called, sir?" she asked.

I smiled at her.

"Soujirou." I replied warmly. "Seta Soujirou."

She nodded her had once and stood up gracefully.

"Well, Seta-san I'm finally glad you're awake now." She began. Then she settled the tray before me. "And oh, I brought something here for you to eat." She added. After setting the little bowls and the chopsticks before me, she gave me a warm smile before standing up. She bowed and I noticed then again her perfect gracefulness.

"And please don't hesitate to ask for anything." She added. Then with one final bow, she walked away from me, opened the door, and stepped outside.

I stared at her leaving figure till it disappeared from my sight. My eyes widened with wonder when she left a trail of sweet cherry blossom scent behind her. The scent, a woman's scent that Shishio-san and Usui-san used to refer to as "sexy scent," scents that could drive a man crazy with desire… well that was according to them though.

I scoffed the idea then since I have felt nothing when Yumi's around me, and she smells equally good actually, but now… I shook my head quite gruffly. Just thinking about it made my face get warm as hot blood crept up to my cheeks and all over my body. The scent was so intoxicating that I wondered what really is going on between a man and a woman. Well… Usui-san used to offer me a woman or two but really I just can't… Urusai na! What am I thinking?!

I snapped myself out of my trance as I forced my dazzled sensations to concentrate on the food. But really, I had a hard time placing the little bowl before my mouth since my fingers are quite shaking and… I stopped short.

I haven't even thanked her for her kindness! I groaned.

"How could everything change so suddenly?" I found myself asking. I was angry because of the dirty thoughts churning inside my head and angrier with myself for forgetting the first step to being a gentleman.

==========

"Seta Soujirou?" Ishido Hosokawa repeated studying me with his black, hawk eyes.

"Yes, sir." I replied shifting my foot nervously. We were inside his private office and he was eyeing me from head to foot.

I looked around and let my gaze wander around the room, actually more Western in style. There were no low tables or kneeling cushions around, instead I found a heavy oak desk and several chairs presently standing before me. I also noticed that although the Western culture is completely at large in this room, there are painted mats and portraits made by Japanese painters hanging on the wall, giving the room its Oriental ambiance.

"The Meiji Era really brought about a lot of changes." I mused as I saw a sturdy bookshelf in one corner.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Sit my boy." The man said gruffly but not unkindly.

Gingerly I took the seat in front of his desk and took a deep breath. I kept my gaze down since I can still feel him scrutinizing me, studying me with his black, piercing eyes like a predator eyeing its prey. I, being aware of it, didn't dare look up.

Just then, Hosokawa stood up and walked towards me. He sat on the chair across from mine and smiled warmly.

"A servant said that you wished an audience with me, Soujirou-san." He said raising his eyebrows expectantly.

I finally tore my eyes away from my purple lower gi and looked at him, slowly I uttered, "Yes, sir."

"Then what have you to say?" He asked.

"I just want to thank you for your good kindness and hospitality, sir." I replied numbly. Then my eyes caught something. Stopping for a moment, I stared at the thing sitting on top of his desk.

A picture of a beautiful, young lady with deep, black shiny hair and the most expressive eyes stared back at me. She looks like the kind lady who brought me food a while ago. Hosokawa noticed my silence only to find me staring at the picture with interest. Smiling softly, he picked up the lovely frame and held in with such care.

"Beautiful, isn't she?" He asked gazing over the picture that he held within his callused hands. I nodded.

"Yes indeed sir." I replied. Then out of a child's curiosity, I leaned over slightly. "May I know who she is, sir?" I asked.

Then I immediately stopped, horrified of what came out of my mouth! What right do I have to pry on some people's business? I quickly cast my eyes down and hoped that I didn't offend him in some way.

Then to my surprise, he looked at me and started to laugh, obviously amused at my sudden embarrassment. He put the picture back and patted my lightly on the shoulder.

"Cheer up boy, you don't have anything to be afraid of." He said, his eyes laughing. I finally looked up and gave him a little smile.

"She was my wife." He replied. I nodded looking once again on the picture. Noticing the clothes and her features, I didn't have any doubts that she is English. "An inter-marriage I presume." I thought.

But before either of us can speak, a woman knocked and called out announcing dinner. Hosokawa stood up and led me to the door.

"Come." He said opening the door before me. "Stay and have dinner with us."

I looked up at not quite sure of what to do or say. I was surprised by his overwhelming kindness and hospitality, and more than that, I was deeply touched. Nobody in my whole life had given me anything, not even kindness.

He smiled and led the way into the dining room. Then surprisingly I found myself following him, walking behind with a light smile on my face. I noticed the civil and easiness he emanates around his household since he greets each and every one of his servants equally and always with a kind word or two.

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