* Dogs don't cry
* Dogs love it when your friends come over
* Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo
* Dogs think you sing great
* A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink
* Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late
* The later you are, the more excited they are to see you
* Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs
* Dogs are excited by rough play
* Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away
* Dogs understand that farts are funny
* Dogs love red meat
* Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair
* Anyone can get a good-looking dog
* If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
* Dogs don't shop
* Dogs like it if you leave lots of things on the floor
* A dog's disposition stays the same all month long
* Dogs never need to examine the relationship
* A dog's parents never visit
* Dogs love long car trips
* Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions
* Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs are meant to be hunted
* When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you, you can shoot it
* Dogs like beer
* Dogs don't hate their body
* No dog ever bought a Kenny G, Cher, or Barbra Streisand album
* No dog ever put on 100 lbs after reaching adulthood
* Dogs never criticize
* Dogs agree that yo have to raise your voice to get your point across
* Dogs never expect gifts
* It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house
* Dogs don't worry about germs
* Dogs don't want to know about every dog you have ever had
* Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to in your wallet, desk, or back of your sock drawer.
* Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives
* You don't ever have to wait for a dog, they are ready 24 hours a day
* Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry
* Dogs don't borrow your shirts
* Dogs never want foot-rubs
* Dogs can't talk
* Both look stupid in hats
* Both can eat 5 lbs of chocolate in one sitting
* Both tend to have "hip" problems
* Both look good in a fur coat
* Niether understands football
* Both are very good at pretending they're listening to every word you say
* Niether believes that silence is golden
* Both consistantly want backrubs
* Niether can balance a checkbook
* You can never tell what either of them is thinking
* Both put too much value on kissing
* It is socially acceptable to have sex with a woman
* Women look good in sweaters
* Women leave the room to fart
* Though they only have two, women's breasts are far more interesting
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