| GOOD | BAD | WORSE |
| Your son is maturing | You find a porn movie in your son's room. | You're in it. |
| Your children are growing up. | Your children are sexually active. | With each other. |
| Your husband buys you very nioce clothes. | Your husband's a crossdresser. | He looks better than you. |
| You know what's wrong in yur marriage. | Your wife wants a divorce. | She's a lawyer. |
| You had a nice talk with your wife. | Your wife's leaving you. | For another woman. |
| You're horny. | You can't find your vibrator. | Your daughter "borrowed" it. |
| Your wife loves sex. | Your wife's arrested for soliciting. | She implicates you. |
| Hot outdoor sex. | You're arrested. | By your husband. |
| The teacher likes your son. | Sexually. | He'syour age. |
| You came home for a quickie. | Your wife walks in. | You're with her best friend. |
| You go to see a strip show. | Your daughter's the headliner. | She is 17. |
| Your boyfriend's exercising. | So he'll fit in your clothes. | He looks better in them than you. |
| Your daughter's on the Pill. | She's eleven. | It's too late already. |
| Your neighbor exercises in the nude. | He sweats like a pig. | He weighs 350 pounds. |
| Your wife likes outdoor sex. | You live downtown. | It's -20 outside today. |
| Your wife meets you at the door nude. | She's coming home. | She has the paperboy in tow. |
| Your wife's kinky. | With the neighbors. | All of them. |
,