A guy walks into a bar with a slimy, ugly octopus on his shoulder. The bartender says, "You can't come in here with that slimy thing, now get it outta here!" The patron replies, "But this is a very smart octopus. He can play musical instruments! Why, I notice you have a band setup here, I'll bet you a cocktail this octopus can play any instrument there."
The bartender takes that bet, goes and gets a guitar and hands it to the patron. The octopus crawls down the guy's arm, starts feeling the guitar, sticking his tenticles in all the cracks and holes, then starts playing like he was Jimmy Hendrix!
The bartender says, "That's amazing! But it's gotta be a fluke. I'll bet you double or nothing I can find something he can't play." The patron agrees.
So the bartender picks up a trombone, hands to to the octopus. The octopus again starts feeling all over the trombone, sticking his tenticles in the mouthpiece, then starts playing it, like a member of a big band! At this point the bartender is getting pissed... So he goes upstairs, rummages around the attic for a while, and finds a dusty old pair of bagpipes. He dusts them off, goes back downstairs, and hands the bagpipes to the octopus. "Let's see him play these!", he says proudly.
The octopus starts feeling all over the bagpipes, then picks them up and slams them down on the bar, but no sound. Then he slithers over to the wall, and starts banging the bagpipes against the wall, but still no sound. The bartender says, "See... I told you I could find something he couldn't play!"
The patron replies, "Give him a minute... Once he figures out he can't fuck it, he'll start playing it!"