It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation among employees. Due to complaints from some to the more easily offended workers this conduct will no longer be tolerated.

The management does, however, realize the importance of each person being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. Therefore, the management has complied the following coded limit. It is imperative that all employees understand and memorize these coded phrases so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue.

OLD PHRASENEW PHRASE
No fucking way.I'm not certain that's feasible.
You've got to be shitting me. Really?
Tell someone who gives a fuck.Perhaps you should check with...
Ask me if I give a fuck.Of course I'm concerned.
It's not my fucking problem.I wasn't involved with that project.
What the fuck?Interesting behavior.
Fuck it, it won't work.I'm not sure I can implement this.
Why the fuck didn't they tell me this sooner?I'll try to schedule that.
When the fuck do they expect me to do this?Perhaps I can work late.
Who the fuck cares?Are you sure it's a problem?
He's/She's got his/her head up his/her ass.He's/She's not familiar with the problem.
Eat shit.You don't say.
Eat shit and die.Excuse me?
Eat shit and die, mother fucker.Excuse me sir?
What the fuck do they want from my life?They weren't happy with it.
Kiss my ass.So you'd like help with it?
Fuck it, I'm on break.I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
Shove it up your ass.I don't think you understand.
This job sucks.I love a challenge.
Who the hell died and made you boss?You want me to take care of this?
Blow me.I see.
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