Every Low
Down in Low-ville
Liked cruisin' a lot...

But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Low-ville,
Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Minis! The whole crusin' season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his lug nuts were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his wheels were two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His lug nuts or his wheels,
He stood there cruise nite eve, hating the Lows,
Staring down from his garage with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm flashing welders below in their town.
For he knew every Low down in Low-ville with any luck
Was busy now, bagging a four-linked truck.

"And they're bagging their minis!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is cruise nite! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep cruise nite from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...

...All the Low girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their minis!
And then! Oh, the scrape! Oh, the scrape! scrape! scrape! scrape!
That's one thing he hated! The SCRAPE! SCRAPE! SCRAPE! SCRAPE!

Then the Lows, young and old, would sit down to a truck.
And they'd cut! And they'd cut!
And they'd CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT!
They would start on the shaving, and rare suicide door
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand anymore!

And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Low down in Low-ville, the tall and the small,
Would line up close together, with stereos bumping.
They'd line up end to end. And the Lows would start cruising!

They'd cruise! And they'd cruise!
AND they'd CRUISE! CRUISE! CRUISE! CRUISE!
And the more the Grinch thought of the Low mini truck cruise
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole cruise!
"Why for last few years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop the cruise from coming!
...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick photographers hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a lack of Grinch hearts!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Lance Martz!"

"All I need is a model..."
The Grinch looked around.
But since models are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...?
No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a model, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog Max. Then he took out some thread
And he made a bikini, and put a bow on his head.

THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle mini
And he toss in old Max.

Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!"
And the truck started down
Toward the garages where the Lows
Lay a-snooze in their town.

All their compressors were quiet. Bondo dust filled the air.
All the Lows were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first garage in the square.
"This is stop number one," The old Grinchy Martz hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Low wrenches all hung in a row.
"These wrenches," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole garage, and he took everything present!
Welders! And wheels! air bags! chrome brake drums!
Hydraulic pumps! Tweed! Billet Inserts! And tunes!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Then he slunk to the CD changer. He took the Lows' bass!
He took the Lows' stereos! He took them right out of their place!
He cleaned out that speaker box without doing harm.
Why, that Grinch even took their installed car alarm!

Then he stuffed all the tools up the chimney with luck.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the truck!"

And the Grinch got behind the mini, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Low!
Little Cindy-Lou Low, who was not more than two.

The Grinch had been caught by this little Low daughter
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Lance Martz, why,
"Why are you taking our mini truck? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Lance Martz lied,
"The lightings bad in the garage, it won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my studio, my dear.
"I'll shoot the feature. Then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
And when Cindy-Lou Low went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the truck up!

Then the last thing he took
Was the key to the truck.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but peg hooks, and weld wire.

And the one lowering block
That he left in the house
Was a block that was even too small for a mouse.

Then
He did the same thing
To the other Lows' garages

Leaving blocks
Much too small
For the other Lows' mouses!

It was quarter past dawn...
All the Lows, still a-bed
All the Lows, still a-snooze
When he packed up his mini,
Packed it up with their tools! The wheels! The billet!
The bags! And the tweed! The speakers! The 4-links!

Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Lows!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no cruising is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the Lows down in Low-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"

"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the streets.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...

But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded low!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS low! VERY!

He stared down at Low-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Low down in Low-ville, the tall and the small,
Was cruising! Without any minis at all!
He HADN'T stopped cruising from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without body drops! It came without frenched tags!
"It came without tweed, billet or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe cruising," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe cruising...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

And what happened then...?
Well...in Low-ville they say
That the Grinch's small wheels
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his wheels looked really tight,
He whizzed with his mini through the bright morning light
And he brought back the trucks! And the bass for the fest!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch cruised with the best!