Thunderbirds

In the live-action feature Thunderbirds, billionaire and former astronaut Jeff Tracy (Bill Paxton) is the patriarch of an elite squadron called International Rescue. But his youngest son, Alan (Brady Corbet), is stuck in prep school and dreams of going on a mission with his brothers. When the family space station is sabotaged by Aristotle Spode (Ben Kingsley) with Jeff and his four eldest sons aboard, it is up to Alan and his friends to outwit the master criminal.

The original British television series, which starred a troupe of wide-eyed "supermarionettes", ran from 1965 to 1966; though visually appealing to children, it had a sophistication and charm that paid homage to James Bond. Yet, instead of a serious action movie centred around the family team, this new version of the Thunderbirds focuses on a group of adolescents who -- however unlikely -- are able to save the day. Thus, it is a huge blunder to create a story aimed at kids who have never heard of the Thunderbirds, whilst alienating nostalgic boomers with its preposterous storyline.

Star Trek: The Next Generation alumnus Jonathan Frakes directed, but once again demonstrates he is incapable of bringing any inspiration to a film. Even the opening credits are lacklustre...the pre-eminent puppets would have made more of an impact than simple cartoons. Further, we hardly get to see the Tracy's jungle island hideaway, or their custom-designed vehicles. Clearly inspired by such fare as Spy Kids, the screenplay is unimaginative and hollow -- what's exciting about a villain whose ultimate goal is to rob banks? Further, while the original program set events in the year 2065, the film takes place in the present day.

Corbet is eager in the lead role, giving the film much-needed vitality. Paxton is barely seen, while his other sons seem more like underwear models than heroes. Sophia Myles plays the ultra-cool Lady Penelope who, with her flying pink car, comes off as a Mary Kay version of Lara Croft. E.R.'s Anthony Edwards looks terribly uncomfortable as the stuttering Brains, and Soren Fulton as his pre-teen son Fermat is in desperate need of acting lessons. Kingsley should have known better.

An insipid movie with no redeeming qualities, Thunderbirds is anything but "F-A-B". Rating: 1 out of 10.