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    Ok, let me say that this film is lucky to get the half star I've given it.  What a retarted movie!  How in God's name did these good actors read the script and think, "Oh yes, this will propel my career!"  There is no way!  I am hoping that they heard that it was being done by DreamWorks and the mere mention of Stephen Spielberg made them temporarily insane.  This is a terrible movie.   The script, the story, the effects... ALL OF IT!!!  It's terrible.  I can't believe that it managed to keep the number 1 spot at the box office.  As little fan of Stanley Kubrick as I am, I say that Eyes Wide Shut is ten times the movie, if not a hundred times, than this is!!!!!  I realize I am ripping into this movie a bunch, but I feel it needs it.  I didn't expect a good story to begin with.  I mean, let's face it, Jan De Bont's biggest films, Twister and Speed, both had pretty cheesey plots.   But heck, those were his best films, so I knew not to expect to much.  And if you can believe it or not, sadly, I was disappointed.

    Why the half star you ask?  The sound and the house.  I'm not talking about the silly score, no.  I'm talking about the sound effects.   The house is ok, and the sound is pretty good.  These are the ONLY elements that make the movie remotely creepy.  The effects team really let me down.  I thought the kids faces were really silly.  I didn't find the skeleton coming to life believable at all, and yeah, the griffin was ok but IT WAS A DAMN GRIFFIN!!!!  It wasn't scary, the movie had reached it's peak CHEESEY factor at this point and actually appreciating any element of this film was remarkably far from my mind.

    Okay, now on to the specific rips:

    I especially liked it when the ceiling came alive in Lili Taylor's room.  That was sarcasm in case you didn't get it.  At this point all of the other actors are supposed to believe that Lilly Taylor is hallucinating everything and yet they turn around and see the ceiling making faces at them and they turn back around as if nothing happened and continue working on setting Lili Taylor free.  Alright, any being in their right mind would flip out, scream, drop a load, DO SOMETHING.  No reaction is COMPLETELY unbelievable, like most elements in this movie.

    The stairs?  What was up with that?!?  Who the hell builds such shitty stairs.  Ok, sorry that I'm cussing so much, but I just can't contain my frustration.  I just don't get how this movie was made!

    The casting/characters!  Alright, Lili Taylor was completely miscast.  She is supposed to be the star of the show, however, she doesn't have the star quality/charisma that is needed for such a big role.  She only does well when she is the laid back fun character i.e. Say Anything and Mystic Pizza.  In this movie she plays a quiet, shy girl.  Someone else should've played the role.  Now, to the characters specifically.  I couldn't identify with and/or believe any of the characters minus one.  The character Luke, played by Owen Wilson, is the only one who has any good lines and believable reactions to what is happening around them.

    The story.  I pray that the book by Shirley Jackson is better than this movie's story.  The story comes off completely lame, stupid, retarted, cheesey, campy, you name it.  Basically, it was horrible and completely silly.   The audience laughed more times than they jumped.

    Now, to elaborate on that.  I counted 2 significant jumps in the audience.  However, there was a constant giggle filling the theater.  In case you were wondering, I'm not even talking about the scenes that were SUPPOSED to be funny.  Those scenes got more of a "ha..................ha.............ha...." reaction, if that.

    To sum up, this movie was HIDEOUS and not in a good scary movie way.   It was terrible.  Again, the only redeeming qualities about the movie are the set and the sound.  The special effects and action sequences, which this movie is supposed to be relying on, ARE TERRIBLE!  I didn't find one part of this movie scary except the fact that it was made at all.  If you want to be creeped out, watch The Blair Witch Project!