BREAKING MOVIE NEWS

Winslet and Adams split

Kate Winslet has announced she is splitting from boyfriend and Leicester manager Micky Adams. A spoaksman for Kate said "Miss Winslet was becoming tired of Mickey spending so much time with Dave Basset, and she was beginning to feel left out". Rumours are spreading that the Titanic star's new baby looks suspiciously like Peter Taylor.

Di Caprio blows up

Leonardo “Leonard” Di Caprio has sensationally exploded in his New York home. Lover Tim Burgess was too devastated to talk. Stephen Fry is suspected of setting fire to Di Caprio's fart.

Dennis and Ricci?

Light entertainment king Les Dennis has been seen with strange looking person Christina Ricci. After splitting with Amanda Holden Dennis has been linked to various women such as Judi Dench and Sophie Crouchman, but was spotted coming out of a club with Ricci on Wednesday.

Crouchman is Majestic

All round great guy James Crouchman (pictured), has been given a job at the Kings Lynn Majestic cinema. It ends a great period for Crouchman, after his favourite football team Leicester City won the 'Treble' with Patrick Kluivert scoring 37 goals. Girlfriend Rachel Weisz and best friend Jack Davenport were both said to be "delighted" at the news. Shane Meadows will be directing a new, James theamed film and The Stone Roses have announced they are reforming to write a special song about Crouchman which will be available in shops soon.

Ragamuffin delayed.

Ridley Scott epic "Ragamuffin" has been delayed further. The film, which is based on the true life story of Ian Marshalls footballing career, will star Joaquin Pheonix as the evil Peter Taylor.

Cruz to miss start

Spanish striker, and Richard Wood lookalike, Penelope Cruz is to miss the start of Cheltenham Town's division two campaign. She was injured on the tour of Sweden, and manager Cameron Diaz is lining up a swoop for Jason Lee as cover. Diaz said "Its a blow but I am sure we can cope. When Cruzie comes back she'll be bang on form. Its true I've spoken to Barry Fry and he is willing to do business with me over Jason Lee. The fee will probably be about £100,000 plus Kurt Russel in exchange".



Cusack produces 32 ATP

John Cusack has finally ended his respiration and had 32 lovely ATP molecules to show for it. Scientist Ashley Jordan was well pleased with the results.

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