BREAKING MOVIE NEWS

The Premiere league

Stars of Veronica Guerin, including Cate Blanchett and Colin J Farrell, were out in force for the East Anglian premier of the film in Cambridge yesterday. They were joined by Sleepy Jackson frontman Luke Steele, and music came from Kings of Leon. Everybody enjoyed club sandwiches and lemonade, before piling into Borders to listen to 'The Best of New Order' for an hour.

Insert comic headline here

Scally British actress Samantha Morton has sensationally given up acting to concentrate on being a professional gig-goer. The Band of Gold star has recently been to gigs by The Libertines, Radiohead, The Streets and The Darkness (?!?) and has decided she has little time to act.

Pikey

Rosamund Pike has won the prestigious 'Stupidest Name in Film' award, beating off the likes of Hilary Swank, James van Der Beek and anyone called Crispin.

Shed Head

Following in the lead of Jennifer Aniston, Stuart Townsend is the latest star to get a court injunction to stop photos of him being printed in the press. The sexy Irish star wants doesnt want pictures of him at a Shed Seven concert getting out, and is considerbaly embarrased by the whole incident.

Full of juicy goodness

A Level Science student Ashley Jordan has been accepted to Cambridge university to take John Cusack Studies. The course, which is in its first year, will have modules in smugness, and playing the same role in every film. Ashley was obviously delighted, "well I was a bit doubtful that I would get the 17 A's required to get in, but now I have the right grades I cant wait to get down to work. Its going to be a challenging and interesting course". John's estranged brother Nicky refused to comment.

Burton's Willy Wonka Dilemma

This is a genuine IMDb movie news headline. I dont belive it needs a story. Lets just bask in the stupendous surreality of this wonderful headline.

CONTROVERSIAL

Celebrity Stone Roses fan James Crouchman has rocked the film world with his controversial and outspoken views on Spike Lee movie Summer of Sam. Crouchman blasted the film as "historically innacurate". Speaking to sister Sophie, James said "Adrian Brodys charcter is a big fan of British punk rock bands, yet he loves The Who. Punk Rock came about as a reaction to overblown stadium bands like The Who, so Brody would despise them out of principle". Sophie just agreed and carried on reading heat.
James' father Malcolm also caused a stir by describing the film as "just a bit rubbish".

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