JOB HISTORY

My First Job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't find the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way i sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company. The work was just too draining.

I got a job at the zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

So then I got a job in a workout centre, but they fired said i wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at a Tim Hortons coffee shop. I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.



So I think I'll retire - I'm perfect for the job!


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