Loneliness

"I feel very lonely"... What is loneliness? At the outset, it is a feeling of living in isolation. It is difficulty in feeling good when alone. It is a hopeless feeling that usually comes out of boredom and leaves us not knowing what to do.

Sometimes we suffer because of a false belief about ourselves: "Perhaps people don't like me." This feeling may be of insufficient self love or confidence. On the other hand, growing up in a society promotes a dependence upon external things for a sense of well being — dependency on people. Some of us may have internalized the false view that to be happy is to be surrounded by others at all times, regardless of how we feel in their company.

Loneliness usually comes to people who are emotionally depended. It also occurs to people who do not have common interests and are not communicative. It can also come out of prolonged stay alone. Sometimes a sense of shame or frequent failures can isolate us from others, contributing to our loneliness. Loneliness is a serious hindrence to learning, confidence and progress in life.

We should learn that our deepest fears or feelings of hopelessness are not as terrible as we imagine them to be. If we can learn to be truly intimate with ourselves, then we are never alone. This sort of intimacy, however, is not always easy to come by.

Two important things that we should know about countering loneliness are time and our habits. What do we do when we have a lot of time? What CAN we do when we are left alone? Do we depend on others to entertain us or give us company? How best we can cultivate our hobbies? Constant awareness of what is around us and what we need to do can help us counter loneliness. Reading good books, decorating the house, listening to music of your choice, painting etc are probably better hobbies than visiting a friend or calling someone to talk to kill time, because they reduce your dependency on people and are free from false expectations.

Loneliness is a human vulnerability. It is a common thing, and happens to most of us. It is easy to counter loneliness if we understand what it is. A well planned and organized person is almost free from loneliness. It could be very harmful if we feel lonely for longer durations as it can result in anything from loosing confidence to depression.