Kodi trip talesas narrated by Ronnie M. DioBusted...Busted (twice) on the Kurla-Coimbatore expressIt's 24 hours by train to Bangalore from Bombay, and another 8 hours to Coimbatore. Followed by a couple of hours waiting for a bus and then 6 hours to Kodi. That was enough for me to decide to want stay reasonably sedated during the train journey. So I picked up some quarters of Old Monk and some plastic bottles of Pepsi and made the concoctions before setting off. As darkness sets in, I move from my seat to the door and check out the scenery amid swigs from the "pepsi" bottle. And light ciggies. No one around. Feel really relaxed and cheerful. Suddenly there is a tap on my shoulder. I chuck out the ciggie sneakily, a look at the intruder. It's a pandu, uniformed, and with a ridiculuous looking rifle. "Bothul may kya hai?", he demands holding out his hand. I hand it over. He sniffs the monk. Then asks for my ticket. Gets it validated from a TC who is on his rounds, and then takes me to the next compartment where it is pretty empty. Sits down, and asks me to sit down. "Minimum chey hazaar rupya fine hai," he ventures gingerly. "Mera kuch medical problem hai", I say rather vaguely, wondering if the booze exemption equivalent of medical mary-j existed here. "Tho kya hua? Certificate hai kya?" "Hmmm, interesting", I think to myself, "it does!". "Nahin, Bambai may rakha." Now he gets to enlightening me about how it could turn into a mandatory 6 month sentence, and how I must now go with him to the Pune station to fill up the paperwork. I picture USam waiting for me at the Coimbatore station, and this becomes a totally unacceptable proposition. He says there are "No smoking" signs all over with a 100 Re fine. "Tho iska kitna fine hoga?", he asks me to estimate. "Ummm, pachass rupya?" I says, but he is in no mood for humour. I decide to call his bluff. "Teek hai, Pune station laykay chalo". It works. We move to another section near the wash-basin. The price has come down from 6g to 3c. 200 I say. He agrees. I give him the dough. He offers me a handshake followed by those rapper-type finger curls. "Can I keep the bothul? I ask. He gives me my bottle back and sternly in an official tone asks me to make sure I finish it before the next stop. On the way back to Bombay, I needed a 6 am smoke in the compartment. No one around, except perhaps an early crapper. Because of the previous bust I look around several times before lighting up. Two drags, and a uniformed Bangalore-type copper appears from nowhere. I try stubbing it with my foot, but it's too lame. Same procedure. "Ticket" he asks. Then he takes me to a sign which has some cute, colourful explosion pictures. 3000 fine, he says I show him another outdated stencilled sign where the fine is only "up to" 100. "I'll give you 50", I say. Must have been too much, because he immediately handed me back my ticket and stuck his hand out to collect the bread. The SV InternationalIf you go in a group to Kodi, try the SV International. Off season prices are Rs 500 a room, bargainable. Suprisingly off season is mush season. I guess the mist dissuades honeymoonies - "benchod, sight-seeing gaya, kuch nahin dikhaie diya...". The architect must have been a Lewis Carrol / MC Escher type. Staircases appear magically out of nowhere and lead to strange places. At any time there is an feeling of privacy. The hotel was packed, but we never bumped into anyone on the staircase, except for cleaning ladies (Gyani ahem), who seemed to suddenly appear to wipe off muddy footprints. Hmmm. So if you want to banao, the first thing you need to do is get your feet dirty:) When the mist descends, it's a trip - each level has a different ambience with various degrees of visibility. We managed three or four levels below ground z, and suspect there are a lot more. USam took a staircase to take a pee, but the next time he wanted to go, the staircase was gone. Mushy you say? Eschie, I say. And from a corner of the restaurant which is a level or two below the reception, there is a stream that separates us and 'em. A lady with a garbage bucket was bumped on the butt by a hasty cow. The contents were indulged upon by cows, hyena-like dogs, goats, and birds, a strange hierarchy being maintained all along. One atom-heart-mother type cow on the other side couldn't make it and kept mooing wistfully. There is also a concrete shack in the side-front that looks like a dumpster. On the outsides are all kinds of concrete stoves, etc. We thinks virgin sacrifices occur here. The topmost floor has only two rooms (501 and 502), which even the bellboy could not find. It's a perfect place if there are musicians in the group, because you get the whole floor to yourself, with tons of exits (no-stampede guaranteed). And there is an auditorium with a stage just outside the rooms. Perfect to unleash Bhatoo there. The food sucks, though. We thought Hotel Siva Priya, just 3 min. away, has a good veg scene, and a tandoor dhaba just outside for non-veg. One thing we found annoying was the early morning sounds of sight-seeing going honeymoonies reversing their cars to muzaak ranging from "saare jahan se achaa" to "jingle bells". And also a water tanker phut-phuting away... It rained every day from around 2 pm to 5.30 or so. The guys at the reception have a single white umbrella to usher in clients when it rains. We appropriated the umbrella on day one, infuriating many a drenched usheree hence, and also the management that seemed to be low on IQs and umbrellas. Do not forward, we hope the place remains the same. Since anti-jpeg gigs is on the list, I'll mail a pic separately...ptom(editor)
amihingos, a few years later our intrepid duo meet and set off once again on their beaten traxx...this is the year 2007.
KT liedI was awakened from my slumber in the berth of the Cheran Express by the ringing cellphone on 15 august the day I was to reach coimb - it was rony gems dio who had journeyed through two nights from sin city to coimb. his train was on time - mine turned out to be tardy. At long last, I reached coimb an hour and a half behind schedule. Around 8 am, meet rony gems dio (as we did 3 years ago when my train was on time), just outside the station in front of rani restaurant a place that dishes out standard south indian vegetarian fare. The place was swarming with cops (on account of aug 15?)each whom seemed to be an embodiment of an asura. Big, bulky, swarthy, and some were sporting the signature asura mustache. While waiting for me, rony gems dio espied a huge man who was handcuffed and led away by no less than six heavily armed cops. The handcuffed man walked with great dignity and demeanour Over a repast of idli/dosa/pongal washed down by rony gems dio with the inimitable south Indian filter coffee which I desist from, since I swear by tea. A couple of weeks or so before embarking on his journey, rony gems dio had made a pilgrimage to the dargah of chand shah where he was supposed to score for the kkanal sojourn. However, the elements prevailed in sin city and the heavy downpours of the monsoon season created the perfect ambience and excuse for smoking away the stash meant for kkanal so much so that a few days prior boarding the train from lokmanya tilak station, he called upon a ghost from the past - KT - who had once stated that he knew of certain folks (tour guides) who guided tourists through those places where the sacred herb grew on the slopes of the himalayas and the resin was pure. KT assured rony gems dio that he would procure the pure resinous mass in time for rony gems dio’s journey. However, when it came to the day of rony gems dio's journey, KT failed to deliver...KT liedCoimb to KKanal --------------- At the bus depot, we were to board the bus to palani, a journey of 111 km which takes three hours. From the stash scored from chand shah, rony gems dio managed to save one last jay which we shared halfway before boarding the bus. The depot is adjacent to a lake The dreaded video coaches - t it was about five years or so before that the prevailing government of tamilnadu decided to introduce the so-called video-coach. There is a box placed behind the driver that holds the TV. At four corners of the bus are placed speakers; the dreaded disc dishes out fare that is difficult to endure even for a few minutes let alone for a journey of three hours. The movie that played was a serial comedy set in the city and in villages with characters that come and go and gags that defy human imagination and taste. One such gag was a man who wanted to meet his woman in a house but he was thrown out by the woman’s father. So he and his sidekick devise various schemes to enter the house. One such scheme has the two of them in the outfit of a cow...I will stop here and allow rony gems dio to conjure up the continuation! there is something about a journey that was experienced before at various stages of ones life, once as a carefree student from the days of daze and phase circa 1991, then later in life, once between jobs (the best time to be when one has left one's cares and worries of the past in the erstwhile job and in going forward to the next one with a sense of renewed optimism in the ensuing job. I reckon that is perhaps the one time in one's adult life, as a working man burdened with responsibilities and cares of work and life that one can afford to be totally carefree. Other trips at other times merit other descriptions but each description sets forth its unique level of perception and enjoyment albeit with subtle strains of difference. We switched buses at palani. At the kkanal counter, I paid a registration charge of 3 bucks apiece; we boarded the bus and plonked ourselves on the seat we found empty. Later, we realised that the registration fee was to book your seats in the bus (a much better alternative to the insane scramble for seats). Mercifully, this bus had no video as the box that held the TV was empty. A journey of 64 km from the plains to an ascent of about 2000 m takes 3 hours - a mite too long. on the way the bus stopped at a wayside eating place called SAM. We stopped by for tea and finished the remainder of the jay made up of Bombay black. An ascent from the plains to the mountains is both exhilarating and enthralling. As the bus reached the foothills there was a perceptible change in the weather. The air was cooler; the flora on either side was dense along the sinuous roads that made its tortuous path along the mountainside. this slow and steady journey came to an unscheduled halt some 14 km short of our destination. the bus broke down. the driver made arrangements for an SUV to transport the stranded passengers to the nearby bus stop about 2km away. after pausing for some time, we decided to walk the stretch. interspersed with the merging green of foliage were brightly coloured flowers of intense hues - deep blue, purple, and red. somewhere during our journey, there was the grotesque sight of a building on the slope of a hill that had the glass facade of a corporate building that was completely at odds with the ambience. i wonder why one would need such a facade in such a place
We reached the 2km point from where we undertook the remainder of our journey by cab that took us straight to SV international (the place where we had stayed the last time…the place with the confounding staircases) - we had to wait an hour for a room as the entire hotel had been booked for a conference and was just checking out. At last, we got our room with a view, - enervated though by our respective journeys but nonetheless looking forward to our stay in kkanal.
After a much needed bath, we decided to walk to those old haunts where in the past we had scored tea
After what was a long and lingering journey, enervated by ennui, and impeded by unscheduled stops such as breakdown of the bus from palani to coimb, we finally reached the abode of the mountains of magic - kkanal. those among us who have indelible memories associated with this place of magic and charm will doubtless concur
We ventured into that same hotel with the confounding staircases (that MC Escher would aver) for as EC would say - just one night. this trip to kkanal was a first of its kind for me in the sense that there was no welcoming rain unlike trips of the past where the sun shone bleak and cowardly as if unable to face up to the wrath of the rain gods. Instead the sun shone full and bright (much to my detriment which is reserved for another episode). It was close to six in the evening when we decided to walk to places made familiar from past times where locals linger waiting for folks such as us to sell dreams. just off the 'queen's necklace', we turned leftward past some of these lingering folks who were standing on the side, when one of them uttered - shrooms? grass?' it is a matter of chance or conjecture which implies that one simply cannot perceive outright how such lingering folks may turn out to be. Again, from past experiences, in an erstwhile trip, we had a rather noisome time of it all with a pusher who wore a ‘shroom’ jacket. i debated with rony gems dio whether to stop by and enquire. Our aging bodies and bones enervated by the languid journey (more so for rony gems dio who was on the heels of a 30-hr journey from sin city to coimb, and add to that another seven hours from coimb to kkanal), we were not so keen for that seemingly long walk to the places where dealers deal in dreams.
The man who uttered those ‘arresting’ words possessed a motorbike on which I rode pillion while rony gems dio tarried at the turning with the rest of the folks that linger. We drove downhill adjacent to a playing field where, in our previous visit, we witnessed a football match between two teams - archies and rainbow, and the silent slaughter of goats – one by one – by the butcher – the silence of the goats . He asked me to wait while he went ahead to procure the 'tea'. On our way back, he said that rony gems dio ought to have come instead of me as he kind of blended with the scenery while I looked like those ones that would do the shrooms and the tea…
Next day, he got us a change of room in one of the many cottages on the periphery of the lake, on the observatory road. And the shrooms too - freshly plucked (that is reserved for another episode)
In retrospect, harkening to the ‘clarion’ call of shrooms and tea was providential, for he was very professional in his dealings be it room/shroom/tea/transport.
It was a chance meeting with this prophet, this black superman, who could get for you stuff that dreams are made of - his name – MOHAMMED
current rates:
tea – 10g – 1C
zoom – 1d – 1.5C
At the end of it all, simply put, we were dog tired, with all the exertions and rendered more so by nibbling and snacking without having a proper meal - We were ravenous.
We walked towards downtown kkanal, a little away from the kkanal international school, and turning into a lane of downward descent, lined with restaurants and shops. We entered the Tibetan brothers restaurant where we gorged on mho-mhos and noodles, and washed it down with lemon tea. Lemon tea sweetened with honey is an amazing rejuvenator for aching limbs and enervated minds
We walked back to our hotel where, before retiring, over rounds of rum and strikes of tea, we called it a night. ro got hold of some incredibly long lengths of zigzags from sin city - resulting in slow-burning jays that seemed to last forever what with just two to toke it! However, I am not complaining…
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