LEADS

Read the following leads carefully. Does the writing match the type of leads that the writer attempted to use? If not, how would you change it to make it a better fit? What other changes would you make in this lead in order to follow the yearbook conventions?

Shocking

1) As Mr. Sohail was watering the front lawn he turned to see his two sons shouting “Snake! Snake!”

Mr. Sohail looked under the car and saw a baby garter snake. He acted quickly by using the hose to gentally get the snake out from under the car. His two sons jumped up and down with excitement. Finally after spraying the snake for about five minutes it came out from under the car. Mr. Sohail quickly got a box and caught the snake. The Sohails had caught themselves a ‘free’ pet. Though the mother didn’t approve. The snake will stay with them for three days.

Descriptive

2) As Jane lays on the couch sleeping, she is awaken by the noice the phone made. She got up feeling cranky and sleepy and slowly made her way through the family room and into the kitchen. She took a deep breath and picked up the phone and said, in a grunge voice saying, “Hello?” The response was, “Finally you got to the phone. What are you doing? It’s Pinky.”

3) As the whistle blew and the teams were walking to mid-field, Fremont Lions’ Jason Lash spat in Newark Rebels’ Matt Franklin’s eye which started a fight no one expected.

Suspense/Descriptive

4) Hundreds of teens huddle closely around the stage. Gears wind in video cameras that try to capture the moment. The lights turn on as spectators look towards the stage, commanding their spinning implements of creation to climb the string back into their hands. A lone performer takes the stage. The crowd watches in awe he makes his first throw. The National Yo-Yo Contest has officially begun.

Direct Quotation

5) “I was so excited about going to visit Stanford University on Sunday that I got up six in the morning to get ready,” sophomore Labiba Shere exclaimed. Her goal was to go to Stanford, but what good was it to aim for a university you’ve never seen? “When my father finally promised that he would take me to see the place, I made him write it down for proof,” giggled Labiba. For Shere, seeing the place was a dream come true.

6) “I can’t find my daddy. Where’s my daddy?” cried Jason Hodges, three year old brother of the Newark Rebels Ken Hodges. The young boy was lost in the midst of a brawl that broke out between the Newark Rebels and the Fremont Lions after their soccer game. The fight started when Jason Lash of Fremont Lions spat in the face of Matt Franklin of the Newark Rebels.

7) Finding Nemo was in theatres exactly one year before Shark Tale, and both movies made millions the weekend they came out. The two movies are both about life undersea and describing how sea creatures struggle just as humans on ground. “After watching both Shark Tale and Finding Nemo, in my opinion, Finding Nemo has a more interesting plot when comparing the two movies to one another,” said Ebony Johnson.

Allusion

8) Not one, not two, but three days off made the first weekend in November special for Amanda. She hung out with friends, spent the night in someone elses bed, and took wallpaper of an upstairs room. Things were planned on a whim and fun was had by all.

Combo

9) Amongst the upperclassmen, I feel like an ant squandering on the ground avoiding their intimidating footsteps. I turn left, right, but everywhere I go, people give me the awkward stares that have made me grow to hate this school. “I guess this is my typical lunch,” I whisper, wondering if anyone even heard me.