Converts' Stories: Jade's Testimony

Jade's Testimony (from reVert)

Asalamo alikum, this is my story of conversion. Insha allah you will find it interesting:

Until I met my husband, a Lebanese muslim, I had lived a pretty shelterd life; going to Catholic schools, knowing mostly Catholic Canadians. But alhadulillah I was raised to have an open and accepting mind, and to respect all races and religions. I had heard the usual stereotypes of oppressed muslim women whose husbands kept them covered and dominated them. But alhamdulillah it was easy for me to ignore those stereotypes.

I have always had a love of learning. So I was very interested when my husband (a friend at the time) would tell me about his religion and culture. We would have great debates over religion, his and mine. Things like is Jesus God, the bible vs. Koran, etc. Overtime I began to realize the many contradictions of the Catholic religion. Things just didn't make sense anymore. Like the religion says there is only one God, yet in prayers it consistently refers to Jesus as Lord God, and the son of God also. "How is this possible?", I began to think, and thus question everything. Like why did it say in the bible not to eat pork yet Christians ate pork. But then the bible was full of contradictions, I realized, and could no longer believe or trust what I read there.

I began to pray for guidance and for signs as to what I should do. I just gave the decision over to God, knowing He would do what was best for me. As soon as i did that, I began to see signs everywhere! I had dreams where pple would tell me to convert, I would sit down beside someone and start a conversation, only to discover that person was a muslim. It was like Allah was sending messages through strangers. I remember one of the last times I went to mass. I was alone, sitting beside an old man. He turned to me out of the blue and said "The church is going to the dogs. It's not what it used to be. Not what it should be anymore." I remember I was in shock. I knew Allah had sent this old man to tell me I was in the wrong place.

Very close to my decision to convert I was sitting at a table full of muslims. The subject of my religion came up. (They didn't attack it, the muslims never attacked it or my beliefs) I suddenly realized I could no longer defend it anymore. I no longer believed it. I broke down crying.

I was easier after that. I turned my attention to learning all I could about Islam. About a month later, with 4 days of Ramadan left (exactly 6 years ago in fact!) I said my shahada. That night I had the most wonderful dream of being in the desert. I saw a large group of people coming in the distance. The women were surrounded by the men as if in protection. When they approached my house the men parted and I saw the most beautiful woman. She was covered, and there was such a beautiful white light coming from herface! I knew this to be Fatima PBUH, daughter of the prophet PBUH. She asked for some bread to continue their journey. She told me not to worry, that I was a good person. I still remember how beautiful she was.

One thing that helped in my conversion was the fact that my husband never told me I had to convert. He always said he would marry me anyway. His family never tried to convert me either. Their lives were like an example to me of what it was like to live as a muslim. They submitted their life to Allah, prostrating 5 times a day, fasting, mentioning Allah's name numerous times, all for Allah. This is what I wanted to do, especially since I was raised to love God.

As for my family. I was raised by my mother. We were very religiouse, attending church, being involved in the church. When my mother knew what I was thinking she was happy for me as long as I was doing it for God, alhamdulillah, and not for my husband.

It isn't always easy though! There are times when our lifestyles conflict. For example, my mother lives 3 hours away and when I visit I don't pray at her house because she has 2 dogs that go everywhere in the house, so the house is not clean to pray in even with my prayer rug. It's hard to visit her because she doesn't have halal meat, and I know her dishes have been used for pork. This repulses me and I loose my appetite. I love my mother and am afraid to offend or hurt her. These are some issues a convert has to deal with at times.

Alhadulillah, one just has to keep in mind that we live for Allah, not our family or friends. That w will be rewarded in the afterlife for our pain and struggle, insha allah. Also, if our family and friends give us a hard time for converting, it is because of their ignorance. They care for us but do not understand. For me, some friends were rude (they are no longer friends) and some were interested in my journey to Islam.

Well I apolpgize if this has become too long. May Allah reward all your efforts in Islam.

Masalm, sis Jade