Turning over Death

Have you ever tried to turn fear into love? I don't know how I could expect others not to hate, if I cannot do this for myself. While it is easy to pretend to do this, it seems a rare person who is capable.

Fear takes many forms. One fear I have is of the past. Not simply my own past, although I do have fears associated with my personal history; but also the past of humanity in general. Something within the wisdom of the ages, the folly of history, the many lives come and gone. It frightens me to think of living on the same earth on which these ghosts once trod. With the same ideas and the same stories.

It seems an odd form of xenophobia, though of course it wouldn't be called that. Chronophobia? It is similar to agoraphobia, with respect to time, instead of space.

I don't think about living in the past as a potential danger to me, yet I worry about what life has been like throughout history. I do worry about living in the future, which is one reason it is so important to me that I feel I can commit suicide, is I so chose. Suicide is the one escape we have from the horror of life, besides, perhaps, pain killers.

Senseless fear is another luxury feature of the modern mentality. I'm surprised it isn't taxed.