Pat on the Back

Usenet destroys all of my good energies. It takes me to a place where I am a horrible person living a pointless life, which I am, but spring is a really good time to pretend otherwise.

The thing is, I'm so much better at typing than speaking. This morning I was talking to the woman I work for. She described a scene that occurred yesterday afternoon. She said she was entirely caught up in a visitor's excitement; later she wondered whether she should apply better judgment when conversing, rather than getting absorbed into the ego energies of the other person.

I understood what she meant. I do that a lot too. She spoke of it as having a two-sided personality. I agreed and said that it was hard to trust oneself in the moment, then be vulnerable to later self-examination. Of course I can't say "vulnerable," so the conversation pretty much ended there. "What?" "Vulunulunable" "What?" "VULUNUNUNNABLE."

She's a very insightful woman, yet I tend to be hyper-critical of her. Usually I'm that way with people who think I'm stupid, but she's always telling me how nice it is to have conversations together, because we can *really* talk. I think my criticism is more of the artsy community here and I take it out on her, which isn't fair.