Reincarnation

I pick up a pen to write in my journal and the binding squeezes around my head, then spits me out into space, freezing and alone. I don't really have a journal. I have a black book with blank white pages. Acid-free. You really notice your heart beating when you are out in space.

Thoughts alternate with images. Dreaming seems so useless so I don't. I am always lying to myself. I was sneaking around behind my back, forming fantastic visions. More lies. Then comes the reprieve. No, that's all wrong. This time I feel the possibilities, slipping into and out of me, a winded breath blowing up one balloon after another, always forgetting to tie the ends.

That's what I call patience. And I actually do. Calling out to patience, I beg her to find me. I want to tell her how time makes me uncomfortable. Rattles me. She jokes and tells me I'm in her crib, that we all have a home with the gods. Not to worry. It is easy not to worry when you are apathetic towards life. But when you aren't... you die every moment.I tried reading today, but somehow touching the cover of the book made me squirm. Reading the title and the author caused a wave of morose nausea. Nevermind the synopsis and critical acclaim on the back.

I pick up a pen to write in my journal and the binding squeezes around my head, then spits me out into space, freezing and alone. I don't really have a journal. I have a black book with blank white pages. Acid-free. You really notice your heart beating when you are out in space.

Thoughts alternate with images. Dreaming seems so useless so I don't. I am always lying to myself. I was sneaking around behind my back, forming fantastic visions. More lies. Then comes the reprieve. No, that's all wrong. This time I feel the possibilities, slipping into and out of me, a winded breath blowing up one balloon after another, always forgetting to tie the ends.

That's what I call patience. And I actually do. Calling out to patience, I beg her to find me. I want to tell her how time makes me uncomfortable. Rattles me. She jokes and tells me I'm in her crib, that we all have a home with the gods. Not to worry. It is easy not to worry when you are apathetic towards life. But when you aren't... you die every moment.