Dealing with Worries and Stress
English Translation
1. Introduction
2. Kinds of Worry and Stress
3. Islam's Treatment for Anxiety and Worry
4. Writings of Imam Ibn al-Qayyim on Treating Distress and Grief
5. Du'aa' (Supplication)
6. Reminder
Praise
be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds, the Most Merciful, the Most
Compassionate, the Master of the Day of Judgement. I bear witness that there is
no god but He, the Lord of the earlier and later generations and Sustainer of
heaven and earth. Peace and blessings be upon the one who was sent as a Mercy
to the worlds. I bear witness that he is the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him). Peace and blessings be upon him, upon all his
Family and Companions, and upon those who believe in his guidance and follow in
his footsteps until the Day of Judgement.
It
is the nature of this life that people will suffer from worries and stress,
because this world is the place of disease, hardship and suffering. Hence among
the things that distinguish Paradise from this world is the fact that there is
no worry or stress there: “No sense of fatigue shall touch them, nor shall
they (ever) be asked to leave.” [al-Hijr 15:48 – interpretation of the
meaning]. Nothing ever upsets the people of Paradise, not even the slightest word:
“No laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk) will they hear therein, nor any
sinful speech (like backbiting, etc.), but only the saying of Salaam! Salaam!
(greetings with peace).” [al-Waaqi’ah 56:25-26 – interpretation of the
meaning].
It
is also the nature of this life that people have to put up with suffering and
hardship for various reasons, as is indicated in the Qur’aan (interpretation of
the meaning): “Verily, We have created man in toil.” [al-Balad 90:4].
So people feel regret for what has happened in the past, anxious about what may
happen in the future, and worried about what is going on in the present.
The
things that cross our minds and make us feel distressed are things in the past
that have caused grief, things in the future that we are worried about, and
things in the present which concern us.
People
react differently to stress and worries, depending on how many things are
concerning them, whether the worry is continuous or not, and on whether they
have faith in their hearts or are rebellious and sinful. We may describe
people’s hearts as being of two types: either the heart is the throne of
Allaah, filled with light, life, happiness, joy and all the treasures of
goodness; or it is the throne of Shaytaan, wherein is distress, darkness,
death, grief, worry and anxiety.
People’s
worries and concerns will also differ, according to the differences in their
motivations, circumstances and individual responsibilities.
One
type of worry or concern is that which may be described as worthwhile
worries that are a good sign, such as a scholar’s anxiety to resolve
difficult issues concerning which the Muslims need an answer – especially when
the matter is very serious and there appears to be no solution. Another example
is the concern of the Muslim leader about the problems of the people under his
care. This is what made the two ‘Umars (i.e. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab and ‘Umar
ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez) and other leaders worried and anxious. ‘Umar ibn
al-Khattaab used to think about how to prepare the army whilst he was praying,
and he was excused for that; he also used to worry about the animals stumbling
in the land of ‘Iraaq. ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez used to express his suffering
thus: “I am dealing with something with which no one could help me except
Allaah. The elderly have reached the ends of their lives with it (in this
situation), the youth have grown up with it; the foreigners have learnt Arabic
and the Bedouin have migrated to the cities in these circumstances. [It is so
well-entrenched] that they think this is religion, and they can see the truth
nowhere else but in this.” When the khilaafah passed to him and the
people gave their bay’ah (oath of allegiance) to him, he came home,
feeling anxious and stressed. His freed slave said to him: “Why do I see you so
anxious and stressed? This is not how you should be on such an occasion as
this.” He said, “Woe to you! How could I not be anxious when there is no one in
the East nor the West of this ummah who is not demanding his rights of
me or asking me to help settle some matter with another person, whether he
writes down his request or not, whether he asks me directly or not?”
The
more any decision had to do with the fate of the Muslims, the greater the
anxiety and stress involved. Hence when ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf was entrusted
with the task of selecting the next khaleefah for the Muslims, after the
death of ‘Umar, he did not sleep during that period, because he was so busy
consulting the Muslims, even the old women.
Other
types of commendable concern include: the concern of the dai’yah who is
striving to spread Islam and convey the message, guiding others to the path of
Guidance; the concern of the worshipper to ensure that his worship is correct
both in intention and practice; and the concern of the Muslim for the suffering
of his brothers in faith throughout the world…
Kinds
of anxieties that may result from committing sin
include: the distress suffered after shedding blood wrongfully; or the anxiety
of a woman who is pregnant as a result of fornication or adultery.
Kinds
of distress that result from wrongful treatment at the hands of others
include that suffered because of mistreatment by one's own relatives, as the
poet said: “The wrong suffered at the hands of those who are closely-related is
more painful to bear than a blow from a powerful sword.”
Distress
suffered because of the calamities that happen in this world
include: chronic or serious diseases, disobedience of children towards their
parents, hostility on the part of one’s wife or mistreatment on the part of
one’s husband.
Some
kinds of anxiety result from fears about what may lie ahead in the future,
for example a father may be worried about what will happen to his children
after he dies, especially if they are weak and he has nothing to leave behind
for them.
These
are a few examples of different kinds of stress and worry. We will discuss the
matter in further detail below:
The Prophets had more than their fair share of this
kind of stress. ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) told her nephew (the
son of her sister) ‘Urwah that she asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him): “Did you ever suffer any day worse than the day of Uhud?”
He said: “I suffered what I suffered at the hands of your people, and the worst
that I suffered from them was on the day of ‘Aqabah, when I had made an appeal
to Ibn ‘Abd Yaalayl ibn ‘Abd Kalaal and he did not respond in the way I had
hoped for. I left him, hardly knowing where I was going, and I did not realize
where I was until I had reached Qarn al-Tha’aalib. I raised my head, and saw a
cloud which was shading me. I looked in it, and saw Jibraa’eel, who called to
me and said: ‘Allaah has heard what your people have said to you, and their
response to you. He has sent to you the Angel of the Mountains, to do whatever
you tell him to do to them.’ Then the Angel of the Mountains called to me,
greeted me, and said, ‘O Muhammad, if you wish, I will crush them between two
mountains.’” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said,
“Rather, I hope that Allaah will bring forth from their descendents people who
will worship Allaah alone and not associate anything with Him.”
The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) suffered similar distress
when his people disbelieved his account of his Night Journey (Israa’).
Muslim (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I found
myself in the Hijr (an area in the Haram in Makkah, near the Ka’bah),
and Quryash were asking me about my Night Journey, questions about Bayt
al-Maqdis that I was not sure of. I felt more distressed and anxious than I had
ever felt, then Allaah raised it for me so that I could see what they were
asking me about and answer all their questions…”
The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was very concerned
about telling people about salaat (prayer). Abu ‘Umayr ibn Anas reported
from his (paternal) uncles among the Ansaar that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) was worried about how to gather the people
together for prayers. Someone suggested that he set up a flag, so that people
would see it and tell one another, but he did not like this idea. Another
suggestion was a ram’s horn (the shofar of the Jews), but he did not
like this idea, and said, “This belongs to the Jews.” Someone else suggested a
bell, but he said, “This belongs to the Christians.” ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Zayd ibn
‘Abd Rabbihi went away, worrying about the concern of the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he was shown the adhaan
(call to prayer) in a dream. The next morning he came to the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him about it: “O
Messenger of Allaah, whilst I was half asleep and half awake, someone came to
me and showed me the adhaan…”
This
happened to the great Sahaabi Zayd ibn al-Arqam (may Allaah be pleased
with him), when he heard the chief of the munaafiqeen (hypocrites)
saying to his colleagues: “When we return to Madeenah, the one who has pride
and power will expel the one who is humiliated” (meaning that the “one who has
pride and power” was himself, and the “one who is humilated” was the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the people with him).
Zayd said: “I told my (paternal) uncle, and he went and informed the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for (the chief of the munaafiqeen,
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ubayy), who swore that he had said no such thing. The Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) believed him and not me.
My uncle came to me and scolded me: “All you wanted was for the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the Muslims to hate you
and disbelieve you!” I felt extreme anxiety and stress, such as no one has ever
suffered. When I was on a journey with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him), I hung my head with worry. Then the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came up to me, tweaked my
ear, and smiled at me. I felt happy in a way that I would not exchange immortal
life in this world for that feeling. Then Abu Bakr caught up with me and asked
me what the Messenger of Allaah had said to me. I said, ‘He did not say
anything, but he tweaked my ear and smiled at me.’ He told me, ‘ Be of good
cheer!’ Then ‘Umar caught up with me and I told him what I had told Abu Bakr.
The next morning, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) recited Soorat al-Munaafiqoon to us.’”
According
to a report narrated by Muslim, which tells the same story, Zayd said: “I came
to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him about
it. He sent for ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ubayy and asked him about it, but he insisted
and swore that he had done no such thing, saying, ‘Zayd is telling lies to the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ I felt very hurt
because of what they said, until Allaah revealed words confirming that I had
spoken the truth (interpretation of the meaning): ‘When the hypocrites come
to you…’ [al-Munaafiqoon 63:1]”
The
anxiety suffered by an innocent person when false accusations are made
An
example of this is what happened to ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her)
when the munaafiqoon accused her of sin during the campaign of Muraysi’.
She was ill, and when she heard the news of the rumours from one of the women
of her household, she became even sicker, and felt very distressed. She said:
“I said, ‘Subhaan-Allaah! Are people talking about that?’ I wept all night,
until morning, and never slept; my tears never stopped falling. Then I wept all
day, and never slept; my tears never stopped falling. My parents came to me the
next morning, after I had cried for two nights and a day, without ceasing and
without sleeping. They thought that this weeping would kill me. Whilst they
were sitting with me, and I was crying, a woman of the Ansaar asked permission
to see me. I gave her permission, and she sat down, weeping with me. Whilst we
were sitting thus, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) came in, greeted us, and sat down. He had not come to visit me since
the rumours had started, and for a month there had been no Revelation
concerning my situation. Whilst he was sitting there, the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) recited the Shahaadah, then
he said: ‘O ‘Aa’ishah, I have heard such-and-such about you. If you are
innocent, Allaah will prove your innocence, and if you did commit a sin, then
ask for Allaah’s forgiveness and repent to Him, for when the slave admits his
sin and repents to Allaah, Allaah will accept his repentance. When the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had finished
what he had to say, my tears stopped completely, and I said to my father:
‘Respond to what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) has said.’ He said, ‘By Allaah, I do not know what I should say to the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ I said to my
mother: ‘Respond to what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) has said.’ She said, ‘By Allaah, I do not know what I should say
to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ I
said: ‘I am only a young girl and I do not know much of the Qur’aan. By Allaah,
I have nothing to say to you except the words of the father of Yoosuf: “…
So (for me) patience is most fitting. And it is Allaah (Alone) Whose help can
be sought against that which you assert.” [Yoosuf 12:18].’ Then I turned
away and lay down on my bed. Then Allaah revealed (interpretation of the
meaning): ‘Verily! Those who brought forth the slander (against ‘Aa’ishah)
are a group among you. Consider it not a bad thing for you…’” [al-Noor
24:11 – see complete passage, aayat 11 to 20].
Before
‘Aa’ishah’s time, Maryam bint ‘Imraan had suffered a great deal of stress and
anxiety because she became pregnant without being married. Her distress reached
such an extent that: “…She said: ‘Would that I had died before this, and
had been forgotten and out of sight!’” [Maryam 19:23 – interpretation of
the meaning]. She spoke thus because she knew that people would accuse her and
not believe her when she came to them with a child in her arms, because she had
been one of the devoted female worshippers who lived in seclusion close to the
mosque, and she came from a very religious household and was descended from
Prophets. Because of all this, she bore such a great burden of anxiety that she
wished that she had died before this happened to her, or that she “had been
forgotten and out of sight,” in other words, that she had never been created at
all.
Another
example is the story of the women who was accused unjustly. ‘Aa’ishah (may
Allaah be pleased with her) told her story: “A black woman who belonged to some
of the Arabs became Muslim. She had a cubicle in the mosque. She used to come
to us and talk with us, and when she had finished conversing with us, she told
us: ‘The day of the wishaah (an ornamented girdle worn by women) was one
of the wonders of our Lord. Indeed, it is He Who saved me from the land of kufr
(disbelief).’” When she repeated this several times, ‘Aa’ishah asked her, “What
was the day of the girdle?” She said: “A young girl who belonged to some of my
people went out wearing a girdle made of leather. She dropped it, and a kite (a
kind of hawk) came and swooped it up, thinking that it was a piece of meat.
They accused me of taking it, and they began to punish me, to the extent that
they even searched my private parts. Whilst they were surrounding me and I was
in that state of distress, the kite flew back over our heads and dropped the
belt. They picked it up, and I said to them: ‘This is what you accused me of,
and I was innocent!’”
A
man’s worry about what may happen to his wife and children after his death
‘Aa’ishah
(may Allaah be pleased with her) reported that the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: “One of the things that
concerns me is what will happen to you [his wives] after my death, for none
will be able to take care of you properly except those who are truly patient.”
An
example of this is what happened to al-Zubayr (may Allaah be pleased with him),
whose story was told by his son ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Zubayr: “When al-Zubayr
stood up to fight at the Battle of the Camel, he called me, so I went and stood
by his side. He said: ‘O my son, no-one will be killed today except one who is
a wrongdoer or one to whom wrong is done. I can see that I will die today as
one to whom wrong is done. My greatest concern is my debts – do you think that
any of our wealth will be left after paying off our debts? O my son, sell our
property and pay off our debts.’” ‘Abd-Allaah said: “He started to advise me
what to do about his debt, and told me: ‘O my son, if you are unable to pay off
anything, seek the help of my mawlaa.’ By Allaah, I did not know what he
meant until I asked, ‘O my father, who is your mawlaa?’ He said:
‘Allaah.’ By Allaah, every time I felt distress because of difficulty in paying
off his debt, I prayed, ‘O Mawlaa of al-Zubayr, pay off his debt,’ and
Allaah paid it off…’” ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Zubayr said: “I calculated how much he
owed, and found it to be two million and two hundred thousand… (some of
al-Zubayr’s friends did not think it possible to pay off such a great debt, but
Allaah greatly blessed some land belonging to al-Zubayr, and surprisingly
enough, when it was divided up and sold off, there was enough to pay off the
debt and have something left over)…Al-Zubayr had four wives: one-third of his
wealth was put aside for them, and each wife got one million and two hundred
thousand. The total sum of his wealth was fifty million and two hundred
thousand.”
This
happened to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as he
said: “Whilst I was sleeping, the treasures of the earth were brought to me,
and two armlets of gold were placed on my arms. That distressed me, but Allaah
revealed to me that I should blow them away, so I did so, and they disappeared.
I interpreted them as being the two liars whom I am facing, the one in Sana’aa’
and the one in al-Yamaamah.”
Ibn
‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) also felt distress
because of a dream which he saw. He told us about it: “Some men among the
Companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) used to see dreams at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him). They used to tell him about them, and he
would say ‘Ma sha’ Allaah.’ I was a young boy, and I used to live in the
mosque before I got married. I said to myself, ‘If you were any good, you would
have seen something like these people have seen.’ When I lay down that night, I
said, ‘O Allaah, if You see any good in me, then let me see a dream.’ Then two
angels came to me, each of whom was holding an iron bridle in his hand. They
dragged me to Hell, and I was praying, ‘O Allaah, I seek refuge with you from
Hell.’ Then I dreamt that I was met by another angel, who was also holding an
iron bridle in his hand. He said, ‘Do not worry, you are a good man, if only
you prayed more.’ They took me to the edge of Hell, and it was shaped like a
well with horns; between every two horns was an angel holding an iron bridle. I
saw in it men suspended upside down from chains, and I recognized some men of
Quraysh. Then they led me off towards the right. I told Hafsah about it, and
Hafsah told the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him). (According to a report narrated by Muslim: “When I woke up, I felt
worried and scared about what I had seen, so I asked Hafsah about it, and she
said, ‘It is good, what you have seen.’ I said to her, ‘Ask the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about it,’ so she asked
him.”) The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: ‘ ‘Abd-Allaah is a righteous man, if only he prayed at night.’” Naafi’
said: “After that, he always prayed a great deal.”
Islam
prescribes a number of ways to deal with the distress that results from seeing
nightmares and frightening dreams.
Having
described a number of kinds of distress and anxiety experienced in this world,
we will now discuss ways of dealing with them.
Undoubtedly
the first thing we should mention when discussing worries and anxiety is: ‘aqeedah
(belief) and eeman (faith), and the effects they have on dealing with
stress. One can see many of the kuffaar and Muslims who are weak in
faith suffering breakdowns and committing suicide in an effort to rid
themselves of depression, frustration and despair when they get into trouble or
when disaster strikes. Hospitals are full of patients who are suicidal or have
suffered nervous breakdowns, or other kinds of psychological trauma. These
problems affect many of those who are strong, let alone those who are weak. How
often they lead to complete incapacity and loss of sanity!
The
person who has been guided to Islam, if his ‘aqeedah is sound and his eemaan
is strong, will find the cure in that which has come from Allaah, the All-Knowing
and All-Aware, Who created all things and Who knows best what befits His
creation. “Should not He Who has created know? And He is the Most Kind and
Courteous (to His slaves) All-Aware (of everything).” [al-Mulk 67:14 –
interpretation of the meaning].
Let
us now discuss some of the different kinds of remedies and treatments taught by
Islam:
1. Equipping oneself with eemaan (faith),
accompanied by righteous deeds
Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning): “Whoever works righteousness, whether
male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer, verily, to him We will
give a good life (in this world, with respect, contentment and lawful
provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best
of what they used to do (i.e., Paradise in the Hereafter).” [al-Nahl
16:97]
The
reason for this is clear: the believers in Allaah whose faith is correct and
motivates them to do righteous deeds that reform their hearts and characters,
and change their status in this world and the next, have the basic principles
according to which they deal with every kind of joy and grief that they may
face. They receive blessings and joys with acceptance and thanksgiving, and put
them to use in beneficial ways. When they do this, they feel happy and hope
that it will last and will bring them reward for their gratitude, as well as
other things that will supercede the original goodness and blessings.
When
faced with distress, harm, worries and anxieties, they try to resist them and
reduce them as much as they can, and they react with befitting patience to the
things in which they have no choice. They gain a lot of benefits as a result,
such as: resilience and toughness as is appropriate; useful experience, strong
willpower, patience, the hope of reward, and many other benefits which reduce
the distress felt. Thus their anxiety is replaced with joy and the hope of
blessings and reward from Allaah, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) stated in the saheeh hadeeth: “How marvellous is the affair of the
believer! Everything that happens to him is good, and this does not apply to
anyone except the believer. If something good befalls him, he gives thanks for it,
and that is good for him. If something bad befalls him, he bears it with
patience, and that is good for him.”
This
is the way in which we may view calamities in a positive light. Another example
is:
2. Thinking of how the Muslim may earn
expiation for his sins, purify his heart and raise his status, when he is
stricken with distress and worry in this life.
The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Nothing
of fatigue, illness, distress, worry, grief or harm befalls the Muslim, not
even a prick from a thorn, but Allaah will accept it as expiation for some of
his sins.” According to a report narrated by Muslim: “No illness, fatigue,
sickness or grief befalls the Muslim, not even worries, but it will be an
expiation for some of his sins.”
The
one who is distressed or worried should know that whatever psychological pain
afflicts him is not wasted, but serves a purpose in increasing his hasanaat
(good deeds) and expiating for his sayi’aat (bad deeds). The Muslim
should realize that if it were not for disasters and afflictions, we would come
empty-handed on the Day of Resurrection, as some of the salaf (early
generations of Islam) pointed out, which is why they would rejoice when
misfortune struck just as we rejoice at times of ease.
When
a person understands how the disasters that befall him expiate for his sins, he
will rejoice and be of good cheer, especially if that happens to him straight
after he has committed a sin, as happened to some of the Sahaabah, may Allaah
be pleased with them. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mughaffal (may Allaah be pleased with
him) reported that a man met a woman who had been a prostitute during the time
of Jaahiliyyah. He started to joke with her, then he touched her. She
told him, “Watch it! Allaah has destroyed shirk (once ‘Affaan said: has
destroyed Jaahiliyyah) and has brought us Islam.” The man went away, and
walked into a wall, cutting his face. The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) came along, so the man told him what had happened, and he
said: “You are a slave for whom Allah wishes good. When Allaah wishes good for
His slave, He hastens the punishment for his sin; when He does not wish good
for His slave, he withholds the punishment until the matter is settled on the
Day of Resurrection, when all of his sins will be brought forth together.”
The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When Allaah wishes
good for His slave, He hastens to bring about his punishment in this world, and
if He does not wish good for him, He withholds the punishment until he is dealt
with for his sin on the Day of Resurrection.”
3. Understanding the reality of this world
The believer knows that this world is only
temporary, that its luxuries are few, and that whatever pleasures exist here
are always imperfect. If it causes a little laughter, it gives many reasons to
weep; if it gives a little, it withholds far more. The believer is only
detained here, as the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “This world is the prison of the believer and the paradise of
the kaafir.”
This
world is also fatigue, pain, misery and suffering, so the believer feels relief
when he departs from it. Abu Qutaadah ibn Rib’i al-Ansaari used to say that a
funeral passed the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) and he said: “He is now relieved, and people feel relieved of him.” The
people asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, how can he be relieved and people feel
relieved of him?” He said, “The believing slave (who dies) is relieved of the
fatigue and pain of this world and has gone to the mercy of Allaah; when the
rebellious slave dies, people, land, trees and animals are relieved of him.”
For
the believer, death brings a respite from the distress, worries and pain of
this life, as is stated in the hadeeth: “When the believer is about to die, the
angels of mercy bring white silk and say, ‘Come out content, with the pleasure
of Allaah upon you, to the mercy of Allaah and sweet fragrance and a Lord who
is not angry.’ So (the soul) comes out like the best fragrance of musk and the angels
hand it to one another until they bring it to the gate of heaven. They say,
‘How good is this fragrance that has come from the earth.’ They bring it to the
souls of the believers, and they rejoice over it much more than you do when one
who has been absent returns. They ask him, ‘What did So-and-so do? What did
So-and-so do?’ then (the angels) say, ‘Leave him alone, for he was suffering
the distress of the world.’ When he asks, ‘Did not So-and-so come to you?’ they
say: ‘He was taken to his home in the Pit (i.e., Hell).’ When the kaafir is
about to die, angels of punishment bring sackcloth and say, ‘Come out
discontent, with the wrath of Allaah upon you, to the punishment of Allaah.’ So
(the soul) comes out like the worst stench of rotten meat, and they take it to
the gate of the earth. They say, ‘How foul is this stench,’ until they bring it
to the souls of the kuffaar.”
This understanding of the
reality of this world makes it easier for the believer to bear afflictions,
pains, distress and anxiety, because he knows that they are an inevitable part
of the nature of this life.
4. Following the examples of the Prophets and
the righteous
The Prophets and the
righteous suffered more distress in this world than other people. Each person
is tested according to the strength of his faith. If Allaah loves a person, He
tests him. Sa’d (may Allaah be pleased with him) asked the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him): “O Messenger of Allaah, which of the people
suffers the most distress?” He said: “The Prophets, then those who come after
them (in terms of status), then those who come after them. A man will be tested
according to the strength of his faith. If his faith is strong, then the
distress with which he is tried will be greater; if his faith is weak, he will
be tested in accordance with the level of his faith. Distress will keep on
befalling the slave until he walks on the face of the earth free from sin.”
5. Making the Hereafter one’s main concern
The concerns of this world
overwhelm and confuse people, but if the slave makes the Hereafter his main
concern, Allaah will help him to focus and be determined, as was narrated by
Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him): “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Whoever has the Hereafter as his main
concern, Allaah will fill his heart with a feeling of richness and
independence; he will be focused and feel content, and this world will come to
him in spite of it. Whoever has this world as his main concern, Allaah will
cause him to feel constant fear of poverty; he will be distracted and
unfocused, and he will have nothing of this world except what was already
predestined for him.’”
Ibn
al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “When a person spends his entire
day with no other concern but Allaah alone, Allaah, may He be glorified, will
take care of all his needs and take care of all that is worrying him; He will
empty his heart so that it will be filled only with love for Him, free his
tongue so that it will speak only in remembrance of Him (dhikr) and
cause all his faculties to work only in obedience to Him. But if a person
spends his entire day with no other concern but this world, Allaah will make
him bear its distress, anxiety and pain; He will leave him to sort himself out,
and cause his heart to be distracted from the love of Allaah towards the love
of some created being, cause his tongue to speak only in remembrance of that
creation instead of remembering Allaah, and cause his faculties to work in
obeying and serving them. So he will strive hard, labouring like some
work-animal, to serve something other than Allaah… Everyone who turns away from
being a true slave of Allaah and obeying Him and loving Him will be burdened
with servitude, love and obedience to some created being. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): ‘And whosoever turns away (blinds himself)
from the remembrance of the Most Beneficent (Allaah), We appoint for him a
shaytaan (devil) to be a qareen (intimate companion) to him.’ [al-Zukhruf
43:36].”
6. A surprisingly effective remedy: remembering
death
The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Remember frequently
the one who will destroy all your pleasures: death, for there is no-one who
remembers death when in straitened circumstances, but his situation will become
easier, and there is no-one who remembers death during times of ease, but his
circumstances will become straitened.”
7. Praying to Allaah, may He be exalted
Du’aa’
(prayer or supplication) is very beneficial, and includes both protection and
treatment. As far as protection in concerned, the Muslim is obliged to turn to
Allaah and pray to Him for refuge from distress and to keep him away from it,
as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do. His
servant Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) tells us: “I used to serve the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he stayed
in Madeenah (i.e. was not travelling). I often used to hear him saying: ‘Allaahumma
inni a’oodhu bika min al-hamm wa’l-hazn wa’l-‘ajz wa’l-kasal wa’l-bukhl
wa’l-jubn wa dala’ al-dayn wa ghalbat al-rijaal (O Allaah, I seek
refuge with You from distress, grief, incapacity, laziness, miserliness,
cowardice, the burden of debt and from being overpowered by men).’”
This
du’aa’ is very effective in preventing distress before it happens;
prevention is better, and easier, than cure.
When
one is worried about what may happen in the future, the following du’aa’
is very beneficial. Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: “Allaahumma
aslih li deeni alladhi huwa ‘ismat amri wa aslih li dunyaaya allati fihaa
ma’aashi wa aslih li aakhirati allati fihaa ma’aadi w’aj’al al-hayaata
ziyaadatan li fi kulli khayri w’aj’al al-mawta raahatan li min kulli sharr
(O Allaah, make me adhere properly to my religion, on which all my affairs
depend; make this world good for me in which is my livelihood; make my
Hereafter good for me, in which is my ultimate destiny; make my life increase
in every good thing and make my death a respite from every evil).”
When
distress and pain befall a person, the door of du’aa’ is always open to
him; it is never closed. When one calls upon the Most Generous, He will respond
and give. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And when My slaves
ask you concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My
Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me
(without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me,
so that they may be led aright.” [al-Baqarah 2:186]
One
of the greatest du’aa’s which take away distress and anxiety and bring
joy is the famous du’aa’ which the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) encouraged everyone who hears it to learn it by heart:
The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is
no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: ‘Allaahumma inni
‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatija naasyati bi yadika, maada fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun
fiyya qadaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw
anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi
‘ilm il-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa
jalaa’ huzni wa dhihaab hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your
slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over
me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name
belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book,
or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge
of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the
light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my
anxiety),’ but Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it
with joy.” He was asked: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we learn this?” He
said: “Of course; everyone who hears it should learn it.”
This
important hadeeth indicates the following: the slave should admit that he
belongs to Allaah and that he cannot do without Him and has no other master
than Allaah; that he should be a slave to Allaah, announce his submission to
Him, obey His commandments and heed His prohibitions; that Allaah is directing
and controlling him as He wills; that he should demonstrate his submission to
Allaah and his acceptance of His decree; that he should pray to Allaah, using
all His Names, then ask for what he needs.
A
number of other du’aa’s to do with distress and anxiety have also been
narrated in the Sunnah. They include the following:
Ibn
‘Abbaas reported that when the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) felt distressed, he would say: “Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah
al-‘Azeem al-Haleem, laa ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb al-‘Arsh al-‘azeem, la ilaaha
ill-Allaah Rabb al-samawaat wa Rabb al-ard wa Rabb al-‘Arsh al-kareem
(There is no god but Allaah, the All-Powerful, the Forbearing; there is no god
but Allaah, Lord of the mighty Throne; there is no god but Allaah, Lord of
heaven, Lord of earth, and Lord of the noble Throne).”
Anas
(may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that when the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was distressed by something, he would say:
“Yaa Hayyu yaa Qayyoom bi rahmatika astagheeth (O Ever-Living, O
Eternal, by Your mercy I seek help).”
Asmaa’
bint ‘Umayr said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said to me: ‘Shall I not teach you some words which you can say at
times of distress? ‘Allaah Allaah rabbee laa ushriku bihi shay’an
(Allaah Allaah is my Lord, I do not associate anything with Him).’”
Another
of the beneficial du’aa’s which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught us is the one he told us about when he
said: “The du’aa’ of the person who is in distress is: ‘Allaahumma
rahmataka arjoo fa laa takilni ilaa nafsi tarfat ‘ayn w’aslih li sha’ni kullahu
laa ilaaha illa anta (O Allaah, for Your mercy I hope, so do not leave
me in charge of my affairs even for the blink of an eye; rectify all my
affairs. There is no god except You)’”
If
a person thinks about the meaning of these du’aa’s and prays with
concentration and a sincere intention, doing all those things that can help to
bring about a response, Allaah will fulfil his hopes and do the things asked
for; He will turn his distress into joy.
If
the du’aa’ comes from a heart which is filled with faith, it will dispel
worry and bring comfort. The scholars have mentioned many stories of people who
prayed to Allaah in times of calamity and distress, and Allaah responded to
their prayer and saved them from an enemy, or from drowning, or from starvation
or disaster. One example is the story of what happened to the great Sahaabi
al-‘Alaa al-Hadrami, who was one of the most prominent scholars and devoted
worshippers, one of the close friends (awliyaa’) of Allaah whose du’aa’s
are answered. During the campaign against the apostates of Bahrain, he pitched
camp, but before the people could settle down, the camels bolted, carrying away
all the provisions of the army, including their tents and water, leaving them
with nothing but the clothes they were wearing. It was night-time, and they
could not restrain even one camel. The people were filled with indescribable
distress and alarm, and some of them began making wills to one another (because
they felt that death was inevitable). Al-‘Alaa’ called the people together and
said: “O people, are you not Muslims? Are you not striving for the sake of
Allaah? Are you not the ansaar (supporters) of Allaah?” They said, “Of
course.” He said, “Then be of good cheer, for Allaah will not forsake anyone
who is in your situation.” When the time for Fajr prayer came, he called the
people to pray and led them in prayer, then he knelt up, and the people did
likewise. He started to pray (make du’aa’), raising his hands, and the people
did likewise. They prayed until the sun rose, and the people began to look at
the mirages caused by the sun, shimmering one after another, all the while
fervently praying. When he reached the third [??], Allaah created a great
stream of fresh water beside them. [‘Alaa’] walked towards it, and the people
followed him, then they drank and washed themselves. Before the sun had reached
its zenith, the camels started to come back from all directions, bringing the
supplies loaded on them, so the people did not lose anything at all, and they
were able to give water to the camels. This is one of the signs of Allaah
witnessed by the people during that campaign. (Al-Bidaayah wa’l-Nihaayah:
Dhikr riddat ahl al-Bahrayn wa ‘awdatihim).
8. Praying for the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) (i.e., saying “Allaahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad,” etc.)
This
is one of the greatest ways through which Allaah may relieve worries:
Al-Tufayl
ibn Ubayy ibn Ka’b reported that his father said: “When two-thirds of the night
had passed, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
got up and said: ‘O people, remember Allaah, remember Allaah. The first blowing
of the Trumpet has come, and will be followed by the second blowing. Death has
come, with all that it implies, death has come with all that it implies.’ I
said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I pray a lot for you. How much of my prayers
should I devote to you?’ He said, ‘As much as you want.’ I said, ‘A quarter?’
He said, ‘As much as you want, and if you increase it, it will be good for
you.’ I said, ‘Half?’ He said, ‘As much as you want, and if you increase it, it
will be good for you.’ I said, ‘Two-thirds?’ He said, ‘As much as you want, and
if you increase it, it will be good for you.’ I said, ‘I will devote all my
prayer to you.’ He said, ‘Then your worries will be taken care of and your sin
will be forgiven.’”
9. Relying upon Allaah and entrusting matters
to Him
“When
a person knows that Allaah is Able to do all things, that He alone makes
choices for His slaves and runs their affairs, that the way He runs His slave’s
affairs is better than the way the slave would do it for himself, that He knows
better about the slave’s interests than the slave does, that He is more able to
achieve them, that He is more sincere and more merciful towards His slave than
the slave is to himself; and also knows that he cannot progress or regress any
further than the limits that Allaah has decreed for him, for nobody can change
the will and decree of Allaah – when a person knows all this, he will submit
himself to his Lord and hand over his affairs to Him, throwing himself before
his Lord like a weak slave throwing himself before a mighty and powerful king.
Allaah deals with His slave as He wishes, and the slave has nothing to do with
it. Only after he has submitted thus will the slave feel relief from his
distress, worries and regrets. He gives the burden of his needs and interests
to One Who is not concerned about how heavy or great the burden is. Allaah will
take care of it, instead of him, and will show him His kindness and mercy,
without the slave getting tired or worried, because all his concern is now
focused on Allaah alone. His worry about his needs and interests in this world
has been lifted from him and his heart is now free of this concern. How good
his life is now, how blessed his heart and how great his happiness and joy!
But
as for the person who insists on running his own affairs and making his own
choices, whose concern is only for his own share and not for his duties towards
his Lord, Allaah will leave him alone with the choices he has made, so he will
be surrounded by concerns, worries, distress, grief, fear, exhaustion and
depression. His thoughts will be confused, none of his deeds will be pure and
none of his hopes will be fulfilled. He will gain no respite, and will enjoy no
pleasure. He will never feel joy or contentment. He will be labouring like a
working-animal, with no hope of gaining anything that could help him in the
Hereafter.”
“When
a person relies upon Allaah and puts his trust in Him, he is not controlled by
bad illusions. He trusts in Allaah and hopes for bounty from Him, which
protects him from distress and worry, as well as many psychological and
physical diseases. Thus his heart gains indescribable strength, relaxation and
joy. The one who is truly free from problems is the one whom Allaah has freed
and helped to strive against his own-self (jihaad al-nafs) by seeking
beneficial means of strengthening his heart and dispelling anxiety. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): “… And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah,
then He will suffice him…” [al-Talaaq 65:3] – i.e., He will take care of
everything that is of concern to him, whether it has to do with his religion or
his worldly affairs.
The
person who relies on Allaah is strong in heart and is not adversely affected by
illusions or things that happen, because he knows that this is a sign of
weakness and fear that is unfounded. He also knows that Allaah has guaranteed
to take complete care of the one who puts his trust in Him, so he trusts Allaah
and has confidence in His promise. Thus his worries and anxiety disappear,
hardship is replaced with ease, sadness turns to joy and fear turns to a
feeling of security. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and to bless us with
strength of heart and steadfastness through complete reliance on Him, for He
has guaranteed all goodness and protection from all evil and harm to those who
put their trust in Him.”
10. Other ways of dispelling distress and
anxiety include paying attention to what is beneficial, focusing on what
matters today and no longer worrying about what may happen tomorrow or
regretting what happened yesterday
Hence
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sought refuge with
Allaah from worry and regret: regret for things that have happened in the past
which one cannot go back and change, and worries about what may happen in the
future. The slave should think only about the present, focusing his energy on
doing his best today, because this is what results in perfect work, and helps
him to forget his worries and regrets. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) prayed a du’aa’, or taught it to his ummah, he
encouraged them not only to seek the help of Allaah and hope for His blessings,
but also to work hard and strive to achieve the protection they prayed for, for
du’aa’ goes hand-in-hand with effort. Thus the slave will strive for
whatever benefits him in his religion or his worldly affairs, and will ask his
Lord to grant him the result for which he is aiming. He asks Allaah for help,
just as Abu Hurayrah reported: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to
Allaah than the weak believer, and both are good. Pay attention to that which
could benefit you, seek the help of Allaah and do not feel incapacitated. If
anything befalls you, do not say, “If only I had done such-and-such, such a
thing would have happened.” Say instead, “It is the decree of Allaah, and what
He wills, He does,” for saying “if only…” opens the way for Shaytaan.’”
Thus
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) established a link
between, on the one hand, his command to strive for beneficial things in every
situation, seeking the help of Allaah, and not giving in to feelings of
inadequacy which the harmful kind of laziness, and, on the other, giving in to
regret for things in the past which are over and done with, and thinking about
the will and decree of Allaah. He described things as being of two types:
things which the slave can strive to achieve either in totality or as much as
he can, or can protect himself from them, or lessen their impact, by making an
effort and seeking the help of Allaah; and others about which he cannot do
anything, so he should accept them and be content. Undoubtedly, paying
attention to this principle will bring about happiness and dispel worry and
distress.
The
hadeeth quoted above indicates that one should strive to eliminate the causes
of distress and bring about causes of happiness, by forgetting about bad things
in the past that cannot be changed, and by realizing that to spend too much
time thinking about such an impossible task is a foolish and crazy waste of
time. So one should try not to think about it, and try not to feel anxious
about the future or imagine fear and poverty that may or may not lie ahead. We
should realize that the future, whether good or bad, is something unknown; it
is in the hands of the Almighty, All-Wise, not in the hands of His slaves, and
all they have to do is to strive for the good things and protect themselves
from bad things. The slave should know that if he distracts his mind from
worries about the future and puts his trust in his Lord, then Allaah will take
care of it and his worry and anxiety will disappear.
11.
One of the most effective ways of finding comfort and contentment is to
remember Allaah frequently
Dhikr
(remembrance of Allaah) has a wonderful effect in calming the soul and
relieving stress and worry. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “…
Verily, in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find rest.” [al-Ra’d 13:28]
The
greatest phrase of dhikr that can relieve the distress of death is: “Laa
ilaaha ill-Allaah (there is no god except Allaah).” This is what Talhah
told ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him: “I heard the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) say a word which no slave says at the time of
death but Allaah will ease his distress and brighten his colour. It was only
the fear that I might not be able to do it that prevented me from asking him
about it before he died.” ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “I know
what it is.” Talhah asked, “What is it?” ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: “Do you know any word greater that what he told his uncle to say? – ‘Laa
ilaaha ill-Allaah’.” Talhah said, “That’s it, by Allaah, that’s it!”
12.
Seeking refuge in prayer
Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning): “And seek help in patience and
al-salaat (the prayer)…” [al-Baqarah 2:45].
Hudhayfah
said: “Whenever the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was
grieved by something, he used to pray.” When Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased
with him) heard about the death of his brother, he stopped at the side of the
road – as he was on a journey – and prayed, following the command of Allaah.
13.
Another thing that may dispel worry is jihaad for the sake of Allaah.
The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You must strive in
jihaad for the sake of Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, for it is one of
the gates to Paradise, and Allaah dispels worry and distress through it.”
14.
Speaking about the blessings of Allaah, both those which are obvious and those
which are hidden
Acknowledging
them and speaking about them dispels worry and distress. The slave is
encouraged to have the attitude of thankfulness, which is the highest level he
can reach, even if he is in a state of poverty, sickness or other kinds of
misery. If he were to compare the innumerable blessings that Allaah has
bestowed upon him with the bad thing that has befallen him, he will see that
the distress is as nothing in comparison to the blessings. When Allaah tests
His slave by means of these disasters and miseries, and the slave does his duty
of being patient and accepting, then the difficulties become easy for him to
bear, and he has the hope of earning reward from Allaah for submitting to Him,
and being patient and content. This makes bitter things sweet; the sweetness of
the reward helps him to forget the bitterness of patience.
One
of the most beneficial things in this regard is to follow the advice of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) given in the saheeh hadeeth
reported by Abu Hurayrah: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Look at those who are below you, not at those who
are above you, so that you will not think little of the blessings that Allaah
has bestowed upon you.”
If
a person keeps this important concept (of looking only at those below him) in
mind, he will definitely feel that he is better-off than many others when it
comes to good health, physical strength, and provision (rizq) such as
food, clothing, shelter, etc., no matter what his situation. So his anxiety and
distress will disappear, and he will feel increased happiness and joy in the
blessings of Allaah which have raised him above others.
The
more he thinks about the blessings of Allaah, both obvious and hidden,
spiritual and worldly, he will see that his Lord has given him many good
things, and has lifted from him many bad things. No doubt this too will dispel
worries and anxieties, and bring joy and happiness.
15.
Keeping oneself busy with useful work or the pursuit of beneficial knowledge
This
will distract a person’s mind from the matter that has been causing anxiety.
Maybe then he will forget the causes of his distress, and begin to feel happier
and more energetic. This is something which both believers and non-believers
may try to do, but the believer is distinguished by the fact of his eemaan
(faith), his sincerity and his hope for reward when he occupies himself with
learning or teaching something useful or doing something beneficial. If he is
keeping himself busy with worship, then this is worship, and if he is keeping
himself busy with some worldly work or custom, then he tries to accompany it
with the right intention, and seeks the help of Allaah to do this thing as an
act of obedience or worship to Him. Thus his action will be effective in
dispelling his anxiety, stress and grief. How many people are suffering from
anxiety and constant feelings of depression, which result in various kinds of
disease and illness. The right treatment for them was: to forget the thing that
caused the depression and worry, and to keep themselves busy with some
important work. It was important that the work with which they kept themselves
busy was something that they liked to do and looked forward to; this was more
effective in bringing about the desired good results. And Allaah knows best.
16.
Looking for the positive aspects of the events in which he tends to see only
things that he dislikes
Abu
Hurayrah said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: ‘No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one
aspect of her character, he will be pleased with another.’”
The
benefits of this hadeeth include: lifting anxiety and stress, preserving
tranquillity, continued upholding of the duties which are either obligatory or
encouraged, and the achievement of peace between the two parties. Anyone who is
not guided by the Prophet’s words, but does the opposite, will see only the
negative aspects of a situation, and will be blinded to the positive aspects.
So it is inevitable that he will become anxious and depressed, the
relationships between him and those with whom he is in close contact will turn
sour, and he will neglect many of the mutual duties that both parties should
pay attention to.
17.
Understanding the true value and shortness of this life, and that time is too
precious to be wasted in stress and anxiety
The
wise person understands that his true life is one of joy and contentment. Life
is very short, and he should not let himself get carried away with distress and
depression that will make it even shorter. This goes against the true idea of
life, so he is reluctant to spend too much of his life in distress and
depression. In this regard, there is little difference between the righteous
and the rebellious, but the believer can achieve this in the best way, in a way
that benefits him both in this world and in the Hereafter. When misfortune
strikes, or when he is afraid of something bad happening to him, he should also
compare the blessings that he enjoys, both spiritual and worldly, with whatever
misfortune has befallen him. When he does this, he will see just how much
blessing he has, and the bad things will be put into perspective. Similarly, he
can make a comparison between the thing he fears will harm him and the far
greater possibility that he will be kept safe from it: the faint possibility
that he may be harmed is far outweighed by the greater positive possibilities,
and so his anxiety will be relieved. He takes into account the most likely
scenario so that he can try to prepare himself in case it does happen, and he
takes measures to protect himself against things that have not happened, or to
alleviate or reduce the impact of things that have happened.
18.
Another beneficial measure is not to allow one’s work and other duties to accumulate
This
means taking decisive action immediately, so that one is free to deal with
whatever comes up in the future, because things that are not dealt with
immediately pile up and are added to previous work that should have been done,
thus making the burden even heavier. If you deal with everything at the right
time, you will be free to deal with whatever lies ahead with a focused mind and
adequate strength.
You
should prioritize your work in order of importance, and try to choose things
that interest you and that you enjoy, otherwise you will become bored and fed
up. You can help yourself to achieve this by thinking clearly and consulting
others, for one need never regret consultation. Study what you want to do in
depth, and once you are sure about what action is needed to achieve your
interest and have resolved to go ahead, then put your trust in Allaah, for
Allaah loves those who put their trust in Him.
19.
Constantly anticipating and being prepared for all possibilities
If
a person is prepared for the possibility of the loss of a loved one, the
sickness of a relative, incurring a debt, being overpowered by an enemy, or any
other unpleasant possibility that has not yet happened – whilst seeking refuge
with Allaah and hoping to be safe from it – then if his fears materialize,
their impact will not be so great because he has already anticipated them and
prepared himself to deal with them.
One
important point that we should make is the fact that many ambitious people are
prepared to deal with major calamities in a calm and patient manner, but they
are unduly worried and stressed by trivial problems. The reason for this is
that they prepare themselves to face major problems, but forget to prepare
themselves to cope with minor troubles, which consequently cause them harm. The
prudent person prepares himself to deal with both major and minor problems, and
asks Allaah to help him and not leave him to deal with it by himself for even
the blink of an eye. Thus both major and minor troubles become easier to bear,
and he remains calm and serene.
20.
Another remedy is to complain to religious scholars and ask them for advice
Their
advice and opinions are among the things that can be of the greatest help in
remaining steadfast at times of calamity. The Sahaabah used to complain to the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about the
torture they were suffering…
Khabbaab
ibn al-Aratt (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “We complained to the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he was
reclining on his cloak in the shade of the Ka’bah. We said to him: ‘Why do you
not ask Allaah to help us (grant us victory)? Why do you not pray to Allaah for
us?’ He said, ‘A man from the people before you would be placed in a hole dug
for him, then they would bring a saw and cut his head in two, yet that would
not make him renounce his faith. They would use an iron comb to drag the flesh
and nerves from his bones, yet that would not make him renounce his faith. By
Allaah, this matter will be completed (i.e. Islam will be perfected and will
prevail) until a rider travelling from Sana’aa’ to Hadramawt will fear nobody
but Allaah or the attack of a wolf on his sheep, but you are too impatient.’”
The
Taabi’een also complained to the Sahaabah. Al-Zubayr ibn ‘Adiyy said: “We came
to Anas ibn Maalik and complained to him about what we were suffering at the
hands of al-Hajjaaj. He told us: ‘Be patient, for there will come no time but
the time after it is worse, until you meet your Lord. I heard that from your
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’”
So
the Muslim will hear from the scholars and leaders words which will help him
and alleviate his pain, distress and anxiety.
Similarly,
one can also seek the help of sincere brothers, wise relatives and faithful
spouses. When Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) felt distress, she
complained to her husband ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him). ‘Abd-Allaah
ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) tells us the story:
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to
visit Faatimah, but he found a curtain over her door, so he did not enter. It
was very rare for him to enter without greeting her so when ‘Ali (may Allaah be
pleased with him) came, he saw that she was worried and upset. He asked, “What
is the matter?” She said, “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) came to me, but he did not come in.” So ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with
him) went to him and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, Faatimah feels very upset
because you came to her but you did not come in.” He said, “I have nothing to
do with these worldly things and fancy decorations.” So ‘Ali went to told
Faatimah what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) had said. She said, “Ask the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) what I should do with it.” He said, “tell her to send it to
Banu So-and-so.” (It was a curtain that was decorated with embroidery and so
on).
Going
to a man who is wise and has sound opinions can also help to dispel anxiety.
Al-Mugheerah,
the freed slave of al-Waleed, said: “I entered upon al-Waleed and found him
looking worried. I asked, ‘What is worrying you, O Ameer al-Mu’mineen?’
He said, ‘The number of Muslims has increased, and the mosque is becoming too
small for them. I offered them money for the rest of this church, so that I
could take it and add it to the mosque, to make the place big enough for the
Muslims, but they refused.’ Al-Mugheerah said: ‘O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, I
have an idea that may relieve your worry.’ He asked, ‘What is it?’ I said: ‘When
the Sahaabah took Damascus, Khaalid ibn al-Waleed entered through the Eastern
Gate, conquering by the sword. When the people heard of this, they rushed
towards Abu ‘Ubaydah (who was laying siege to another gate of the city), asking
him for protection. He granted them protection, so they opened the Gate of
Jaabiyah for him. Abu ‘Ubaydah entered peacefully, having made a truce with the
people. We should find out how far the military seizure of land reached, and
take it, but the areas covered by the truce should be left in their hands. I
hope that all of the church will be on land seized militarily, so that you can
incorporate it into the mosque.’ Al-Waleed said: ‘You have made me feel much
better. Take care of this matter yourself.’ So al-Mugheerah took care of it; he
surveyed the area extending from the Eastern Gate towards the Gate of Jaabiyah,
as far as Sooq al-Rayhaan, and found that the military seizure of territory had
continued as far as a little more than four cubits beyond the Great Arch, so
the church could be incorporated into the mosque. So al-Waleed sent word to the
Christians to tell them: ‘The whole of this church lies in the territory which
was seized militarily, so it belongs to us, not to you.’ They said: ‘Initially
you offered us money and land, and we refused. Be generous and give us what you
offered us originally, so that we may settle this matter peaceably, and we will
give you the rest of the church.’ So the matter was settled peaceably.” (Al-Badaayah
wa’l-Nihaayah fi Seerat al-Waleed).
21.
The person who is distressed or worried should know that after hardship comes
ease
So
he should think positively and realize that Allaah will make a way out for him.
The more intense his stress and depression is, the closer he is to relief and a
way out.
Allaah
says in Soorat al-Sharh (interpretation of the meaning): “So verily, with
the hardship, there is relief, verily, with the hardship, there is relief.”
[al-Sharh 94:5-6]. In effect, hardship is mentioned once, and relief is
mentioned twice, because the definite article (“al”) indicates that the
hardship mentioned in the first aayah quoted is the same as that
mentioned in the second, whereas the fact that relief is mentioned in an
indefinite form (with tanween) shows that the relief mentioned in the
second aayah is different from that mentioned in the first.
The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised Ibn ‘Abbaas (may
Allaah be pleased with him and his father): “Know that victory (or achievement)
comes through patience, and that ease comes through hardship…”
22.
Another remedy for distress is certain kinds of food
Al-Bukhaari
(may Allaah have mercy on him) reports that ‘Aa’ishah used to order talbeen
for people who were sick or had been stricken by tragedy, and she would say: “I
heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say:
‘Talbeen warms the heart of the sick person and alleviates some of a
person’s grief.’”
Al-Bukhaari
also narrated from ‘Aa’ishah, the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) that whenever a member of her family died, and the women
gathered together then dispersed, except for her family and close friends, she
would ask for a pot of talbeen, then she would cook it, make thareed
[a dish of sopped bread, meat and broth] and pour the talbeen over it,
then tell the women: “Eat from it, for I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say that talbeen is the cure for
the heart of the sick person and alleviates some of a person’s grief.”
Talbeen
is a soup or broth made from flour or bran to which honey is added. It is
called talbeen because it resembles milk (laban). It is cooked
from ground barley.
Saying
that it is a cure for the heat of the sick person means that it relaxes him,
gives him energy and alleviates his grief and distress.
Ahmad
(may Allaah have mercy on him) reported that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Whenever the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard that
someone was sick or in pain, and not eating, he would say: ‘You should make talbeen
and let him sip it. By the One in Whose hand is my soul, it will cleanse the
stomach of any one of you just as you wash the dirt from your faces with
water.’”
Al-Tirmidhi
reported that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Whenever any member of his family fell ill, he
would order that soup or broth be made for them, then he would tell them to sip
it. He used to say, ‘It makes the grieving heart strong and cleanses the heart
of the sick person, just as any of you cleanses the dirt from her face with
water.’”
Even
though some people might find this strange, this is a true matter, as it has
been proven to be part of the Revelation conveyed by the infallible Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Allaah has created all kinds of
food, and He knows best their characteristics, so the soup of barley mentioned
in the hadeeth is one of the types of food that make people feel better. And
Allaah knows best.
With
regard to the method of cooking this food for the person who is physically sick
or whose heart is stricken with grief, Ibn Hijr (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: “What suits the sick person is the water from barley that has been cooked
whole, and what suits the grieving person is the water from ground barley that
has been cooked. And Allaah knows best.”
Writings of Immam Ibn al-Qayyim
on Treating Distress & Grief
Following
this discussion of cures, we will pause to look briefly at the list written by
Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) in which he lists fifteen
kinds of remedies through which Allaah may alleviate distress and grief:
1.
Tawheed al-Ruboobiyyah (Unity of Divine Lordship)
2.
Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah (Unity of Divinity)
3.
Unity of belief, i.e. Tawheed al-Asmaa’
wa’l-Siffaat (Unity of the Divine Names and Attributes).
4.
To declare that Allaah is far above mistreating
His slave or punishing him without any cause on the part of the slave himself.
5.
Admission on the part of the slave that he is the
wrongdoer.
6.
Beseeching Allaah by the best of things, which are
His Names and Attributes. Among the most comprehensive in meaning of His Names
and Attributes are the Names al-Hayyu (the Ever-Living), al-Qayoom (the
Eternal).
7.
Seeking the help of Allaah Alone.
8.
Putting one’s hope in Allaah.
9.
Putting one’s trust in Allaah and handing over all
one’s affairs to Him, recognizing that one’s forelock is in His hand, that
Allaah runs all one’s affairs as He wills, that His command is ever executed
and that His decree is just.
10.
Reading Qur’aan and pondering its meaning, seeking
consolation in it for all disasters, and seeking a cure in it for all diseases
of the heart (i.e., spiritual or psychological diseases) for it washes away
grief and heals his distress and anxiety.
11.
Seeking the forgiveness of Allaah.
12.
Repentance
13.
Jihaad (striving for the sake of Allaah).
14.
Salaat (prayer)
15.
Admitting that one has no power or strength at
all, and attributing them to the One Who holds them in His hand.
Du'aa' (supplication)
We ask Allaah, may He
be exalted, to keep us safe from distress, to grant us relief from depression
and to alleviate our worries, for He is the All-Hearing Who answers prayers, He
is the Ever-Living, Eternal.
Reminder
Finally, let us remind ourselves that no matter how
great and how numerous the worries and distress of this world may be, the
distress and anguish of the Hereafter will be far greater. This includes that
which will befall all people when they are gathered all together for Judgement.
Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported from Abu Hurayrah (may
Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: “I will be the master of all people on the Day of
Resurrection. Do you know why I will be the master of all people? Allaah will
gather together all the people, the first and the last of them in one place, in
such a way that if a caller calls out to them, they will all hear him, and they
will all be seen at once. The sun will be brought close to them, and they will
feel more distress than they can bear. People will say, ‘Can you see what has
happened to you? Won’t you see who can intercede for you with your Lord?’ Then
some of them will say to others, ‘Let’s go to Adam…’”
There
will be no cure for distress and anguish on that Day unless one turns to Allaah
today.
May
Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad and his Family and Companions, who are the
best of people. Praise be to Allaah Who is overtaken by neither slumber nor
sleep.
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