(Note: This song is often sung much cleaner. But how much fun would that be?)
(Chorus)
On board the good ship Venus,
You really should of seen us,
With a figure head of a whore in bed,
And a mast of a phallic genus.
The captain of that lugger,
Was known as a filthy bugger,
Declared unfit to shovel shit,
From one ship to another.
(Chorus)
The skipper's name was Andy,
By god he was a dandy,
They crushed his cock upon a rock
For pissing in the brandy.
(Chorus)
The first mate's name was Morgan,
My God he was a Gorgon,
From half past eight he'd fellatiate
Upon the captain's organ.
(Chorus)
The cabin boy was chipper,
A randy little nipper.
He lined his ass with broken glass,
And cicumsized the skipper.
(Chorus)
The captain's wife was Charlotte,
Born and bred a harlot.
Her thighs at night were lilly white,
By morning, they were scarlet.
(Chorus)
The captain's daughter Maybelle,
Though young was fresh and able
To fornicate with the second mate,
Upon the chartroom table.
(Chorus)
The captain's youngest daughter,
Was washed into the water.
Her plaintive squeals announced that eels,
Had found he sexual quarter.
(Chorus)
Our ships' dog's name was Rover,
We rolled that poor dog over.
And ground and ground that faithful hound,
From Teneriffe to Dover.
(Chorus)
And when we reached our station,
Through skillful navigation
Our ship was sunk from too much spunk,
And too much fornication.