Props: A bowl with some water in it (even better if you have a piece of fish)
Gender: female
Description: A woman sits in the road
with her legs spread. Her skirts cover her legs and the open space between. The bowl sits
between her legs with the fishy water inside. As other women pass by, ask them to wave their
skirts at you so that the flies will come to your bowl so that you can catch them for bait.
Make references to your fishy smell (pointing at the bowl between your legs). Compliment certain
ladies on the amount of flies around them and encourage those women to come closer.
The bowl is your "safety net" for children. They will assume that you are talking about the
smell from your bowl and wil not make the connection to other things that could smell.
Misty
Props: a piece of netting
Gender: any
Description: Hold the net in front
of you and slowly stalk after people as they walk past your area. Make sure that you are
smiling the entire time that you are following someone (a frienly smile, not an evil smile
- we do not want to scare anyone). When they get past a certain point (like a tree ten paces
away) stop, exclaim that they are too fast for you and focus on another person. If the person
stops and acts like they want to be netted (and you DON'T want to net this person), exclaim
loudly that this person is "too big and manly/busty" to fit in your small pathetic net and
slink away with a sorrowful expression. If you do want to net them, net them carefully and
always be ready to back away should they be displeased.
Children: Netting with kids
is fun for both of you as long as you follow some steps. #1 always make eye contact witht
he parent first to show your intention and let them know that you are not a psychotic weirdo.
#2 Approach the child with a smile and guesture with your net from a safe distance. Gauge
their reaction. If they look even slightly disturbed, back away with a smile. If they giggle
and hold on to mommy, pretend to hunt them for only a minute or two, then wave and leave.
Never net the child.
If the child throws themselves into your net (and this does happen) tell the child that you
are looking for little kids to work on a ship and how would they like washing dishes for 8
months on board? This will usually make them run away.
Misty
Ways to sleep creatively:
Find a small barrel and place it
in a busy section of the street.
Lie down next to the barrel. Now use your barrel as a pillow.
Hold your mug carefully and close your eyes.
"Snore" loudly.
(This next part works best for
male seadogs.)
For added fun: Put the mug down and pretend that while you are sleeping you are having a dream
that your barrel is actually a beautiful woman.
Bryan