Lately I have been feeling a disturbance in the force a great evil has been
brewing growing in numbers praying on the weak minded entering the homes of
teeny boppers consolidating their power a masked menace... In the shape of a
purple monkey and not only that he has a rival a gator who never shows his
face (probly coz he is a shady fellow) or should I said had a rival for they
have joined forces to take over the internet and then the world! bonzi buddy
gets into your computer offering friendship now most people would not even
pay attention to it but there are some there are many who will accept the
call a friendless bunch we like to call Teeny Boppers (Fig.1) enticed by the
idea of a friend that will sing songs tell jokes and quote movies to them be
a friend when all overs spit in the face they quickly download this powder
keg known as bonzi buddy ready to have fun times galore with him... but he
has other plans, he spy's on you he gives you advice brainwashes you soon he
will call upon you to do his bidding the bidding of his owner. there is an
army of these guys working all over the world (Fig.2)
Gator has a different strategy he sneaks like the shady fellow he is (which
is proven by him never showing his face) he pays sites to add a link of him
to secretly download himself onto your comp and install and sometimes he
pays people to integrate him into their programs so he is installed when you
install something you need he hides under the guise of helping you fill out
forms he also make pop ups come up alot which I think people have
enuff of anyway yes these two programs are very shifty but to find more out
about their plans I needed to get someone inside their operation someone
would could disguise themself so well no bonzi could tell him apart from
them. lucky I have Pablo for jobs like these
Fig.1
Fig.2
Pablo Scout Report: Fake Friends
Mission Name: OPPurple Monkey
Mission Date: 24/09/02
Mission Status: In Process
Mission Description:
to discover the evil purpose of the bonzi
buddy and why he has aligned with Gator
to find a possible battle strategy if the need
should arise
Mission Report:
9:30 am on the morning of the 24th of September I entered the Bonzi Buddy HQ
in my Bonzi Buddy disguise that Martha Stuart made for me she owes me a
favour for that time she was cooking soup but some goths has sabotaged it
coz she is so cheery and hardly ever uses black fabric and they are just so
overflowing with pain and hurt from hearing the dead cows souls cry out
every time they walk past Hungry Jacks the most logical thing for them to do
was blow up Martha Stuart by replacing her soup mix with nitro lucky I had
uncovered this and saved Martha just before the whole house went up she said
"if I ever needed her to make a purple monkey suit or anything like that
just to call" so when this mission came around I thort I would take her up
on that offer. a few minutes later I had made my way to the water cooler and
recorded this convo
Bonzi #1: "the boss says its nearly time to start our
evil plans"
Bonzi #2: "yeah we will have to call upon the teeny boppers soon"
Bonzi #3: "after our plans are set in motion we will have no need to
show Mutant X anymore"
Bonzi #1: "boss says we will still show it to piss everybody off"
Bonzi #2&3: " Pure Evil"
As you can see they are plotting something dastardly involving a army of
teeny boppers. at 10:30 am I entered the bonzi training facility there was a
Giant Bonzi with a a mega phone at the front saying
"You Are Not A Beautiful And Unique Snowflake!! You are the same crappy code
as every other Bonzi you are the all singing all joke telling crap of the
world. you have to realise you will probly have to live on a teeny boppers
computer until you know that... you are useless.."
he said may other things about the first and second rules being the same and
stuff but you get the jist. When I had left the Training centre it was 7 pm
I do not know how time passed so fast but this gave me an idea of Bonzi HQ's
powers looking for a place to send a msg to Mujaji I entered what I thort
was a janitors closet which was really a huge dark room. When I switched on
the lights to my shock there were millions and millions of pink weapons I
thort to myself "why would they need pink weapons? oh no! they are planning
to create a teeny bopper army" I ran outta there and headed for the main
exit where a bonzi is a polka dot dress handed me a Memo which said "lure
your teeny bopper here on the 25/10/02" so we only have 1 month to prepare.
We need to make teeny boppers understand that they are fuckfaces and to
uninstall bonzi and gator if they dont listen to you hit them over the head
with a cinder block.
