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Mum and Dad advised to practise therapy

Amelia Hill
Observer

Sunday June 24, 2001

Its no longer enough to be attentive, loving and caring to children.

Parents who want the best for their offspring, say experts, must become amateur therapists. 'Parents don't instinctively know how best to raise children,' said Jane Askew, co-founder of a parenting course in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) at the faculty of health at De Montfort University in Leicester. 'If parents want to raise their children in as positive a way as possible, they should all have some training in CBT.'

Askew and her colleagues are holding a three-day course in CBT at the National Children's Bureau this week, entitled 'Positive Parenting'. But the bureau has distanced itself from the course, claiming that it is merely providing facilities.

'This is a body of theory that is being shown to be relevant across the board,' said Carole Sutton, an expert in CBT. 'We're at the cutting edge of research in this area but already this body of theory has been shown to be extremely beneficial, especially if it is underpinned by counselling skills.' CBT incorporates what is known about how patterns of behaviour are learnt while emphasising the environment in which that learning takes place.

Experts claims that by concentrating on learning via reinforcement and feedback, imitation and cognitive process, even children with ingrained behavioural problems can be rehabilitated.

Other parenting experts are wary. 'There's a lot one can learn from the basics of therapeutic thinking but all parents certainly don't need to be therapists,' said Cheryl Walters of Parentline Plus. 'It's not a prerequisite for being an effective parent.

'Parents have enough on their plate and don't need further strictures and yet more jargon,' she said.

But Sandra Gregory, co-founder of the course, said CBT simplifies the parents' role. 'Families are barraged by advice, lots of it contradictory and most of it victim to the whims of fashion,' she said. 'Parents' intuitive responses have got lost and they have no other network of support to turn to.

CBT, she said, is 'coming into its own only now because therapy has finally escaped the stigma that hung over it for so many years'.

Jill McGee, a mother of two, attended an eight-week pilot course run in CBT at De Montfort early this year.

'I haven't really thought whether I like the idea of applying therapy to my mode of parenthood but there's no other structured form of support available,' she said.

'Advice from friends and family is based on their own experience and there are so many different books, saying so many different things, that it's impossible to know which to believe,' she said. 'CBT gives me objective, research-based and professional advice, which I trust.'

But even proponents of CBT say the therapy is not suitable for every parent. Gregory said: 'CBT doesn't seem to appeal so much to isolated and disadvantaged parents. This is a shame because these are the parents who are often those who need the most help.'

Guardian Unlimited c Guardian Newspapers Limited 2001